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Ah'
^lo MEMORIALS
3 • ' ? ■ ■ /
OF
TEOMAS HOOD.
COLLECTED, ABBAH6ED,
HIS DAUGHTER.
HIS OWV BKXTCHE8.
IN TWO VOLUMES.
VOLUME I.
BOSTON:
TTOKNOR ANO FIELDS,
X DCCO I.ZI.
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ized by Google
THE NEW YOHKJ
PUBLIC LIBRARY
47,J0e
i
L
AfTORc lENOX AND
T,LD£N roUHOATIONft.
1909
GossiNGtoN, Bbidoewatbb, Eng.,
June 6, 1860.
Messrs. Tioknob and Fields, -
Boston, U. S.
Gentlemen: —
We grant yon with pleasure all the right we can to reproduce
the " Memorials " in the United States. In offering you the early
sheets for republication, we wish you all success in the undertaking,
and beg to sign ouiselyes,
Tours, truly,
THE CHILDREN OF THOMAS HOOD.
(FBANOBSFllKILmO BSODXBIP.)
(Thomas Hood.)
tJnlvenny Fmm, Cambridge :
Stereotyped and Pdaled by Welch, Bigelow, ft Co.
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§je]triixate]tr
THE PEOPLE:
FOR WHOM THOMAS HOOD WBOTS AND LABOUHED.
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PREFACE.
In submitting the following memorials to the public,
my sister and myself would wish, at the first outset^ to
warn those who think to find in them fine biographical
writing, that the book is not for theuL We have seen too
many great men fail in that art, and we feel no desire
to emulate them. Our own part in this work is small,
being restricted to such explanations and amplifications
as were necessary to connect the letters, to which we
have added, here and there, characteristic anecdotes, to
which reference is made in them.
Our language we have endeavoured to render as simple
as possible. If therefore, at any time, it warms into a
higher strain, it is solely at the promptings of the heart,
and not by artistic design. Indeed, any such trick or
premeditation could not have existed at the same time
with the feelings called up by a task, how solemn, how*
sad, and how unutterably absorbing, none can tell, who
have not experienced a like sensation of mingled pleas-
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Yui FBEFACE.
lire and pain ; for, although the latter predominate, there
is some of the former in the performance of sach a lahour
of love.
It is owing chiefly to this fact that the publication of these
volumes has been so long delayed. To us, to turn over
the MSS. for these pages — to consult the letters, written
in that well-known, clear hand — was to recall to memory
such a flood of recollections of dead joys, of long past
sorrows, of gentle, loving deeds and words, that we may
well claim to be excused if we were slow in our pro-
gress, and lingered somewhat over pages, that were often
hidden from us by our tears.
Looking back now on my own emotion, while reading
over these memorials, I can scarcely think how I should
be ^o moved after the lapse of fifteen years, and I can
fuUy realise how intensely painful must the compilation
have been to my sister, who, as the elder, was more inti-
mately connected with, and has a clearer memory of the
events chronicled, than I.
We are well aware that there is considerable ground
for the popular objection to Biographies, written by rela-
tives ; but we are of opinion, that, in this case, the ad-
vantages to be gained by the Editorship of some leading
literary man of the day, are more than balanced by the
intimate knowledge and understanding we have of all the
incidents and acts of our father's life. Although, as will
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PREFACE. ix
be seen, he numbered among his friends many distin-
guished writers, they can none of them know, nor could
we impart to them our perceptions (if I may use the term)
of that inner private life, which gave a stamp to the
character his writings claimed for him — that of a benevo-
lent, loving. Christian gentleman.
We are the better enabled to prepare these memorials,
because we were never separated, for any length of time,
from our parents, neither of us having been sent to a
boarding-school, or in our earlier years confined to that
edifying domestic Botany Bay — the Nursery — where
children grow up by the pattern of un watched, unedu-
cated, hired servants.
How our father ever made of us companions, and was
ready in return to be our playfellow, will' be mentioned
elsewhere.
Having then undertaken this " labour of love " our-
selves, in preference, with all humility nevertheless, to
entrusting it to others, comparative strangers, however
distinguished; we repose, hopefully, on the generosity
and consideration of the English people, with whom we
have ever found our father's name a passport to the
sympathies.
As regards the form and arrangement of these pages,
a few words only are necessary. Each Chapter, with
the exception of two, contains the events of a year ; that
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X PBEFAOE.
having appeared to us the most simple and natural diyis-
ion. In the letters we have done our best to omit every-
thing approaching to a repetition. If we have not,
altogether, and at all times succeeded, we can ovlj plead
as an excuse the difficulties we have had to encounter ;
and the same must be said for any passage, which may
give unintentional pain to those mentioned in it
In the last volume -we have ventured to reprint some
of our father's less-known effusions, not included in the
later editions of his works, and to offer to the public a
few pieces hitherto unpublished, and, for the most part,
more or less unfinished.
The illustrations consist, in the first place, of two fao-
similes ; the one of a sheet of the ^ Song of the Shirt,"
as first written out, and the other of the sketch for his
own monument drawn by our father towards the close of
his last illness. The remaining vignettes are from sketches
rapidly dashed off by him for our amusement Many of
them are from sheets of similar oddities, which we used
to find, to our huge delight, lying on our pillows occasion-
ally of a morning. He had drawn them overnight be-
fore going to rest, after the bng hours of his literary
labour were done. They may have perhaps too great a
value in our eyes, but we have added them to complete
the memorials, as indications, however slight, of the un-
tiring humour, and self-forgetful thought for the pleasure of
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PBEFACE. xi •
Others, which oould suggest and create them after the men-
tal and physical labour of a weary night's composition.*
Having explained our plan in these volumes, I will add
a few words on a subject which I feel it my duty to speak
of rather plainly.
It has always been a popular misconception that men
of letters, as a rule, are freethinkers. It is my own earnest
belief, that the higher mental organization and refined
sensibility of men of letters render them, almost to a faulty
reserved in expressing a religious faith, for the very rea-
son that they feel it so deeply and solemnly.
My father's religious faith was deep and sincere : but
it was but little known to a world ever too apt to decide
by hearing professions, rather than by scrutinising ao-
tions. Those to whom his domestic life was every day
revealed, felt how he lived after the divine requirements :
for he ^ did justice," sacrificing comfort, health, and for-
tune, in the endeavour; he "loved mercy" with a love
that was whispering into his ear, even as he was dying,
new labours for his unhappy fellows ; and he " walked
humbly with his God " in a faith too rare to be made a
common spectacle ; for, as he said —
" I consider faith and prayers
Among the privatest of men's affairs."
* Another reason for their insertion is, that they will give a fairer
notion of his artistic skill, to which the cuts in Uie Comic Annnals
did but inadequate justice.
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xii PBEFAOE.
As regarded others' opinions, he was most indulgent
" Intolerant to none
Whatever shape the pious rite may bear ;
Ev'n the poor heathen's homage to the Sun
I would not rashly scorn — lest, even there
I spum'd some element of Christian prayer ;
An aim, tho' erring, at a * world ayont,'
Acknowledgment of good, of man's futility,
A sense of need, and weakness, and indeed
The very thing so many Christians want —
Humility."
In a similar spirit, he bids us —
" Ne'er o'erlook, in bigotry of sect,
One truly Catholic, one common form,
At which, uncheck'd.
All Christian hearts may kindle, or keep warm.
Say • — was it to my spirit's gain or loss,
One bright and balmy morning, as 1 went
From Liege's lovely environs to Ghent,
If hard by the wayside I found a Cross,
That made me breathe a prayer upon the spot —
Where Nature of herself, as if to trace •
The emblem's use, had trail'd around its base
The blue significant Forget-Me-Not ?
Methought the claims of Charity to urge
More forcibly, along with Faith and Hope,
The pious choice had pitched upon the verge
Of a delicious slope.
Giving the eye much variegated scope ; —
* Look round,* it whisper'd, * on that prospect rare,
Those vales so verdant, and those hills so blue ;
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PREFACE. xiii
Enjoy the smmy world, so fresh so fair,
But * — (how the simple legend pierced me thro' I)
*Priez pour les Malhbubkux!*"
£ am impelled to quote one more passage from the
" Ode to Rae "Wilson," because the appealing advice con-
tained in it has since been acted on. I wonder does anj
working-man, when he attends one of the special evening
services held for the poor and the labouring classes in our
metropolitan minsters and churches, ever think of his
aflTectionate friend and advocate, who once wrote thus ?
" Oh 1 simply open wide the Temple door,
And let the solemn, swelling organ greet,
With Voluntaries meet,
The wUling advent of the rich and poor !
And, while to God the loud Hosannas soar.
With rich vibrations from the vocal throng —
From quiet shades that to the woods belong.
And brooks with music of their own.
Voices may come to swell the choral song
With notes of praise they learned in musings lone 1 "
Almost my father's last words were, "Lord — say
* Arise, take up thy cross, and follow me.'"
He had borne that cross during his whole life, but the
quiet unobtrusive religious faith I have endeavoured to de-
scribe, supplied him with exemplary patience under severe
suiSerings, with cheerfulness under adverse circumstances^
with a manly resolution to wrong no one, with an afifeo-
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XIV
PBEFAGE.
tionate longing to alleviate the suffering of all classes,
and with a charity and love that I will not do more than
touch on, for fear I should \)e thought to be carried awaj
by my feelings.
My mother was a fitting companion for such a husband :
she shared his struggles, and soothed his sorrow, and was
so much a part of his very existence, that latterly he could
hardly bear her out of his sight, or write when she was
not by him. We have been frequently obliged to omit
large portions of his letters to her — it would have been
sacrilege to alter them, and we did not feel it right to
publish what was intended for her eyes alone — the ten-
der epithets, and the love-talk ; so fond, and yet so true.
I quote here one passage, as a sample of those which
occur so frequently in the letters.
** I never was anything, dearest, till I knew you — and
I have been a better, happier, and more prosperous man
ever since. Lay by that truth in lavender, sweetest, and
remind me of it when I faiL I am writing warmly and
fondly; but not without good cause. First, your own
affectionate letter, lately received — next the remem-
brances of our dear children, pledges — what darling
ones I — of our old familiar love, — then a delicious im-
pulse to pour out the overflowings of my heart into
yours ; and last, not least, the knowledge that your dear
eyes will read what my hand is now writing. Perhaps
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PREFACE. XV
there is an after-Uiought that, whatever maj befal me,
the wife of my bosom will have this acknowledgment of
her tenderness — worth — excellence — all that is wifely
or womanly, from my pen."
Throughout his long illnesses she was his constant nurse
and unwearying companion, nor did she long survive him.
One trait in her character I record as an example for
mothers. She never, even in the most unimportant mat-
ters, answered my childish inquiries as to the various
things, which naturally attracted my young thoughts, with
anything but the truth. I can truly say now that after-
experience has* never discovered anything, in which she
deceived me, as some do, to put a stop to tedious ques-
tionings. The consequence is, that, in many matters of
faith, hard to understand and grasp, the only reason J
can give for holding them, but that is an all-sufficient one,
is ^ that I learnt to believe it of my mother, and she never
taught me what was untrue." That memory has been an
anchor on which I have rested, when otherwise I might
have lost myself in blind gropings after the intangible.
I must not close this preface (although it has already
exceeded the limits I assigned it), without a grateful ref-
erence to Miss Eliza Oook, and the originators and pro-
moters of the movement, which led to the erection of the
noble monument to my father in Kensal Green ; a mon-
ument which has not its peer in England, whether for the
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xvi PREFACE.
universal subscriptions which raised it, or for the chaste
and unique novelty of its design.
From the managers and furtherers of the undertak-
ing, or from the distinguished' names on the subscription
lists, it would be ungracious and invidious to select anj
for special notice ; but a similar reason to that, which led
me to connect my father's slight sketches with these me-
morials, induces me to select from the humbler names on
the lists such donations as the following : ^ trifling sums
from Manchester, Preston, Bideford, and Bristol — from
a few poor needlewomen — from seven dressmakers —
from twelve poor men."
I should be wanting indeed in appreciation of the peo-
ple's love for my dead father, if I did not, (by incorpo-
rating them with this work,) endeavour to rescue from
oblivion these tokens of the gentle remembrance, by the
poor, of the Poet
« Who sang the Song of the Shirt."
T. H.
Note. The Vignette on page vi. is a sketch of the arms, which
my father nsed to say he should adopt, if the Queen would give
him a grant — "a heart, pierced with a needle threaded with silver
tears," — the motto, "He Sang the Song of the Shirt."
The crest was one he selected in jest, qtoting Shakespeare — " The
ox hath his bow, sir; the horse his curb; and the falcon her bells;"
so why should n't the Hood have his hawk?
It is worth noticing that the little silhouettes of Animals, &c., in*-
terspersed among the other vignettes, were drawn long before " Punch "
appeared with his spirited little black cuts.
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CONTENTS OF VOL. I.
CHAPTER I.
Fbom 1799 TO 1835.
PAOB
Birth and Parentage. — Apprenticed to an Engraver. — Goes to
Scotland for his Health. — Assistant Sub-Editor of " The Lon-
don." — Acquaintance with tlie Reynolds Family. — " Odes and
Addresses." — He marries Miss Jane Reynolds. — Robert Street, ''
Adelphi. — Birth and Death of First Child. — " Whims and Oddi-
ties." — " National Tales." — " Plea of the Midsummer Fairies."
— Edits ** The Gem." — "Eugene Aram." — Winchmore. —
Birth of Second Daughter. — Anecdotes, Fondness for the Sea,
&c. — i* The Comic Annual." — Acquaintance with the Duke of
Devonshire. — The Chatsworth Library Door. — " Tylney Hall."
— Connection with the Stage. — Is presented to his Majesty
King William IV. — Lake House, Wanstead. — Anecdotes, &c. 1
CHAPTER II.
1835.
He is involved in Difficulties by the Failure of a Firm. — Birth of
only Son. — Illness of Mrs. Hood. — Acquaintance with Dr. El-
liot. — Goes to Germany. — Nearly lost in the " Lord Melville."
— At Rotterdam. — Letters to his Wife. — Joined by her and the
Children at Coblenz. — Letter from Mrs. Hood to Mrs. Elliot. —
Acquaintance with Lieutenant De Franck. — Letters to Mr. and
Mrs. Dllke, Mr. Wright, and Lieutenant De Franck. . . .46
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xviii CONTENTS.
CHAPTER III.
1836.
PAGE
At CJoblenz. — Letters from Mrs. Hood to Mrs. Elliot. — Letters to
Mr. Wright and Mr. Dilke. — Accompanies the 19th Polish In-
fantry in their March to Berlin. — Letters to his Wife. — Returns
to Cioblenz. — Illness. — Letters to Lieut, de Franck, Mr. Wright,
and Mr. Dilke. — Commences " Up the Rhine." . . . .117
CHAPTER IV.
1837.
At Coblenz. — Letters to Mr. Wright, Lieut de Franck, and Dr.
Elliot. — Leaves Coblenz. — Settles at Ostend. — Letters to Mr.
Wright, Dr. Elliot, and Mr. Dilke 222
CHAPTER V.
1838.
At Ostend. — Dlness. — - " Hood's Own." — Mrs. Hood to Mrs.
Dilke. — Portrait Painted by Mr. Lewis. — Letters to Mr.
Wright, Lieut De Franck, and Mr. Dilke 276
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MEMOEIALS OF THOMAS HOOD.
CHAPTER I.
FROM 1799 TO 1885.
Birth and Parentage. — Apprenticed to an Engraver. — Goes to Scot-
land for his Health. — Assistant Snb-Editor of **The London."-—
Acquaintance with the Reynolds Family. — *^ Odes and Addresses.''
— He marries Miss Jane Reynolds. — Robert Street, Adelphi. —
Birth and Death of first Child. — " Whims and Oddities." — " Na-
tional Tales." — " Plea of the Midsnmmer Fairies." — Edits ** The
Gem." — ** Engene Aram." —Winchmore. — Birth of second Daugh-
ter. — Anecdotes, Fondness for the Sea, &c. — ^* The Comic Annu-
aL" — Acquaintance with the Duke of Devonshire. — The Chats-
worth Library Door. — " Tylney HaJl." — Connection with the
Stage. — Is presented to his Majesty King William lY. — Lake
House, Wanstead. — Anecdotes, &c.
THE public record of Thomas Hood has been long
before the world — either in the quaint jests and
wittj conceits, that enlivened many a Christmas fireside ;
or in the poems, which were his last and best legacy to
his country. All that remains is the history of his pri-
vate life — that " long disease," as it was truly called, so
long, and so severe, that it was only wonderful that the
sensitive mind and frail body had not given way before.
From his earliest years, with the exception of a few
vox*. X. 1 A
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2 MEMORIALS OF THOMAS HOOD.
bright but transient gleams, it was a hand to hand strug-
gle with straitened means and adverse circumstance8.
It was a practical illustration of ^ Longfellow's noble
lines —
<< How sublime a thing it is
To suffer and be strong."
He possessed the most refined taste and appreciation
for all the little luxuries and comforts that make up so
much of the enjoyments of life ; and the cares and an-
noyances that would be scarcely perceptible to a stronger
and rougher organisation, fell with a double weight on
the mind overtasked by such constant and harassing oc-
cupation. He literally fulfilled his own words, and was
one of the " master minds at journey-work — moral
magistrates greatly underpaid — immortals without a liv-
ing — menders of the human heart, breaking their own
— mighty intellects, without their mite." The income
his works now produce to his children, might then have
prolonged his life for many years; although, when wo
looked on the calm happy face after death, free at last
from the painful expression that had almost become ha-
bitual to it, we dared not regret the rest so long prayed
for, and hardly won.
His life, like that of most modem literary men, was
very barren of incident; there is therefore little to re-
late, save the ebb and flow of health and strength —
" As in his breast the wave of life
Kept heaving to and firo."
The reader must bear this in mind, if wearied with
the recurrence of the chronicle of sickness and suffering.
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MEMORIALS OF THOMAS HOOD. 3
With the distmct and even minute foreknowledge of
organic and mortal disease, liahle at any moment to a
fatal and sudden termination, it must indeed have been a
brave spirit to bear so cheerfully and courageously, as he
did, that life, which was one long sickness. He knew
that those dearest to him were dependent on his exer-
tions, and his mental powers were cramped and tied down
by pecuniary necessity ; while his bodily frame was en-
feebled by nervousness and exhaustion.
Of my father's birth and parentage we can glean but
few particulars ; his own joking account was, that, as his
grandmother was a Miss Armstrong, he was descended
from two notorious thieves, t. e. Robin Hood and Johnnie
Armstrong. I have found his father's name mentioned
in " Illustrations of the Literary History of the Eigh-
teenth Century," by J. B. Nicholls, F.S.A. : —
^August 20th. — At Islington, of a malignant fever,
originating from the effects of the night air in travelling,
Mr. Thomas Hood, bookseller, of the Poultry. Mr. Hood
was a native of Scotland, and came to London to seek
his fortune, where he was in a humble position for four or
five years. * * * His partner, Mr. Vemor, died soon
afterwards. Mr. Thomas Hood married a sister of Mr.
Vemor, junior, by whom he had a large family. He was
a truly domestic man, and a real man of business. Mr.-
Hood was one of the * Associated Booksellers,' who select-
ed valuable old books for reprinting, with great suoucss.
Messrs. Vernor and Hood afterwards moved into the
Poultry, and took into partnership Mr. C. Sharpe. The
firm of Messrs. Vemor and Hood published ' The Beau-
ties of England and Wales,' 'The Mirror,' ' Bloomfield's
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4 MEMOBIALS OF THOMAS HOOD.
Poems,' and those of Henry Kirke White. Mr. Hood
was the father of Thomas Hood the celebrated comic
poet."
The above account is, I believe, tolerably correct,
except that Mr. Hood married a Miss Sands, sister to
the engraver of that name, to whom his son was after-
wards articled. Mr. Hood's family consisted of two sons,
James and Thomas, and four daughters, Elizabeth, Anne,
Jessie, and Catherine. At his house in the Poultry, on
the 23d of May, as far as we trace, in the year 1799,
was bom ,his second son Thomas, the subject of this
memoir. The first son, James, was supposed to be the
most promising, fond of literature, and a good Bnguist, a
more rare accomplishment then than now. He drew
exceedingly well in pen and ink, and water-colours, as
also did one or two of the sisters. The elder Mr. Hood
was a man of cultivated taste and literary inclinations,
and was the author of two novels which attained some
popularity in their day, although now their very names
are forgotten. No doubt his favourite pursuits and his
profession influenced in no small degree the amusements
and inclinations of his children ; and, for those days, they
must have been a very fairly intellectual family.
James Hood, however, died at an early age, a victim
to consumption, which ultimately carried off his mother
and two sisters. After the sudden death of the father,
the widow and her children were lefi rather slenderly
provided for. My father, the only remaining son, pre-
ferred the drudgery of an engraver's desk to encroaching
upon the small family store. He was articled to his un-
cle, Mr. Sands, and subsequently was transferred to one
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HEMOBIALS OF THOMAS HOOD. 5
of the Le Keux. He was a most devoted and excellent
' son to his mother, and the last days of her widowhood
and decline were soothed by his tender eare and affection.
Her death was, I have often heard him say, a terrible
blow to hinL I have now in my possession a little
sketch of his, of his mother's face as she lay in her coffin.
EQs sister Anne did not survive her very long,* but I
cannot ascertain the date of either of their deaths.
An opening that offered more ccmgenial employment
presented itself at last, when he was about the age of
twenty-one. By the death of Mr. John Scott, the editor
of the '^ London Magazine," who was killed in a duel,
that periodical passed into other hands, and became the
property of my father's friends, Messrs. Taylor and Hes-
sey. The new proprietors soon sent for him, and he be-
came a sort of sub-editor to the magazine.
I am exceedingly indebted to the kindness and cour-
tesy of Messrs. Taylor and Hessey (who have both sur-
vived almost all their contributors) for several particulars
relating to my father's early life. From the latter gen-
tleman's letter on the subject I have ventured to quote
largely.
" I remember," he says, " often having seen the late
♦ The lines entitled "The Death-Bed ,»♦ (in the "Englishman's
Magazine,**) and commencing,
" We watched her breathing tlirongh the night,**
vers written at the time of her death. The poem has been frequently
quoted, without the name of the author, and so, with several others of
my father's writings, is not generally known to be his. Shortly after
my father's death, when " The Serious Poems ** were published, a
Latin transhition of " The Death-Bed " appeared in the " Times." —
T. H.
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6 MEMORIALS OF THOMAS HOOD.
Mr. Hood when he was a mere boy at the house of his
father, whom I had the pleasure of knowing intimately
for many years.* He was, as far as I can recollect, a
singular child, silent and retired, with much quiet hu-
mour, and apparently delicate in health. He was, I
believe, educated at a school in the neighbourhood of
London,* and at the age of fifteen or sixteen was articled
to his uncle, Mr. Sands, as an engraver. His health,
however, beginning to sufier from confinement, it was
found necessary to put an end to that engagement, and
he was sent to a relation in Scotland,t where he remained
some years with great benefit He returned to town
about the beginning of the year 1821. In that year the
4f This school was either at Clapham or Camberwell. I can re-
member my father's pointing it out to me, while we were living at
the latter place. At that time it was converted into a naval school,
I think. Of many schoolboy tricks and adventures, related by him/ 1
regret that I can recal only very faint recollections, for they were
very laughable, and might go among the exempla minora to prove the
rale "the child is 'father to the man.'* Amongst other anecdotes, I
remember one in which he was the instigator of a purely homoeo-
pathic revenge upon the footman, who was permitted to vend nuts,
parliament, and marbles to the pupils. Monopoly of trade induced
the man to raise the price above the " outside ** standard, whereon
characteristic retaliation was inflicted by raising the articles (that is
the desk in which they were kept) by four cords to the schoolhouse
ceiling. When the charges were lowered, the desk was permitted to
follow their example. — T. H.
t According to his own * Literary Reminiscences,* he was clerk iu
a merchant's office. But I doubt this, as most probably a "mis-
chievous invention*' for committing pxms. He was two years in
Scotland, and made his first appearance in print there — first in the
Dundee paper in a letter, and afterwards in a local magazine. He did
not, however, he says, adopt literature as a profession till long' after.
— T.H.
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BIEMOBIALS OF THOMAS HOOD. 7
' London Magazine ' came into the bands of Mr. Taylor
and myself, after the death of the editor, Mr. John Soott ;
and Mr. Hood was engaged to assist the editor in correct-
ing the press, and in looking over papers sent for insert
tion. This was his first introduction to th^ literary world ;
and here he first amused himself by concocting humorous
notices and answers to correspondents in the ' Lion's
Head.' * His first original paper appeared in the num-
ber for July, 1821, voL iv. p. 85, in some verses *To
Hope.' I find nothing more of his until November of
the same year, when his humorous * Ode to Dr. Kitch-
ener' appeared in the * Lion's Head' of that month; a
poem, * The Departure of Summer,' in the body of the
number, p. 493 ; and * A Sentimental Journey from Is-
lington to Waterloo Bridge,' in the same number, p. 508.
From that time he became a regular contributor, and as
many as twenty-four more papers of various kinds ap-
♦ " The Echo," in Hood's Magazine, was a continuation of this
idea. Some of the relies to imaginary letters were very quaint I
append a few, extracted at random, because the magazine is not so
well known or so often met with now, as to render me liable to the
charge of quoting what every one knows.
*'Vebity. It is better to have an enlarged heart than a con-
tracted one, and dven such a hoemorrhage as mine than a spitting
of spite."
" ' A Chapter on Bustles * is under consideration for one of our
Back-numbers.**
** N. N. The most characteristic ' Mysteries of London * are those
which have lately prevailed on the land and the river, attended by
collisions of vessels, robberies, assaults, accidents, and other features
of Metropolitan interest. If N. N. be ambitious of competing with the
writer, whom he names, let him try his hand at a genuine, solid,
yellow November fog. It is dirty, dangerous, smoky, stinking, ob-
scure, unwholesome, and favorable to vice and violence." — T. H.
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8 MEMORIALS OF THOMAS HOOD.
peared, the last being ' Lines to a Cold Beauty/ in June,
1823, afler which time I find no further production of his
pen.
^ Mr. Hood's connection with the ^ London Magazine '
led to his introduction to our friend Mr. Reynolds (and
through him to his sister) and to the various contributors
to the work, — Charles Lamb, Allan Cunningham, Hazlitt,
Horace Smith, Judge Talfourd, Barry Cornwall, the Rev.
H. F. Carey, Sir Charles A. Elton, Charles Phillips, Dr.
Bowring, John Clare, Thomas De Quincey, George Bar-
ley, the Rev. Charles Strong, Wainwright, Hartley Cole-
ridge, Bernard Barton, Richard Ayton, the Rev. Mr.
Crowe, Rev. Julius Hare, Rev. Dr. Bliss, John Poole,
Esq., <Sbc. &C.
^At the end of the year 1824 the magazine passed
into the hands of another person as proprietor and edi-
tor, and I have no means of ascertaining who were then
its chief supporters ; but I do not believe Mr. Hood con-
tributed to it at all. Mr. Reynolds continued to write in
that work till the end of the year 1824.
*' It may perhaps be interesting to you to have a list of
the articles contributed by Mr. Hood, and I have great
pleasure in sending you the enclosed, which I believe is
tolerably correct. Most of them, I suppose, have been
reprinted.
" My acquaintance with Mr. Hood ceased about the
year 1823, till which time 1 had enjoyed the pleasure of
constant communication with him. Soon afterwards I
went into the country, and, I regret to say, I never saw
him again."
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MEMORIALS OF THOMAS HOOD.
PAPERS CONTRIBUTED TO THE "LONDON MAGAZINE"
BY THE LATE THOMAS HOOD.
VoL IV. July to December, 1821.
Page 85. To Hope.
468. Ode to Dr. Kitchener.
498. Departure of Snmmer.
608. Sentimental Jonmey from Islington to Waterloo
Bridge.
VoL V. January to June, 1822.
Page 8. ** Please to ring the BeUe."
208. Faithless Sally Brown.
269. The Sea of Death.
811. To Celia.
875. To an Absentee.
404. Moral Reflections written on the top of St Paul'i.
422. The Stag-eyed Lady.
427. On Mr. Martin's Pictores and the BonMsni.
VoL VI. July to December, 1822.
Page 141. Lyons the Centanr.
276. Hynm to the Son.
804. The Two Peacocks of Bedfont.
888. "Now the loud cry.»' — Nimrod.
494. Midnight
497. On a Sleeping Child.
517. Presentiment A Fragment.
586. Sonnet, " Most delicate Ariel."
VoL Vn. January to June, 1828.
Page 96. Fair Ines.
187. Ode to Autumn.
215. Sonnet to Silence.
541. Sonnet written in Keats' " Endymion.*'
565. Sonnet to an Enthusiast
686. Sonnet— Death.
660. To a Cold Beauty.
1*
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10 MEMOKULS OF THOMAS HOOD.
My father's first acquaintance with my mother's family
most have commenced somewhere in 1821, through her
brother, John Hamilton Reynolds. The father, Mr. Rey-
nolds, was head writing-master at Christ's Hospital, and
with his family then resided in that very Little Britain
so quaintly and well described by Washington Irving in
his " Sketch Book." Here, no doubt, many a cheerful
evening was spent among such a pleasant circle of friends
and acquaintances. John Keats, Edward Rice, and a
Mr. Bailey were all familiar friends and constant corre-
spondents of the young Reynoldses. I think however my
father's intimacy dated rather later, for I do not think he
was well acquainted with any of the above mentioned
- trio. But about this time must have originated his long-
standing friendship with Mr. and Mrs. Dilke, who were
known to all parties.
John Hamilton Reynolds was himself a writer for the
" London Magazine," in which appeared several articles
fix)m his pen, under the signature of " Edward Herbert."
He was also the author of a small volume of poems,
** The Garden of Florence," which was favourably noticed
at the time. To him, my father, in a very friendly manner,
dedicated " Lycus the Centaur." A congeniality of pur-
suits and Ukings drew them together — a connection that
was afterwards by my father's marriage with his sister to
be still further strengthened. It was a pity it did not
survive to the end, for on one side at least it was charac-
teristically generous and sincere.*
* Mynncle is often referreMi to in the letters as " John." A frequent
correspondence was kept up between my father and him, which wonld
have affo]:ded materials of much value towards the compilation of these
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MEMORIALS OF THOMAS HOOD. H
It was ^^ in the pleasant spring-time of their friendship,"
and ^ with the old partiality for the writings of each other,
which prevailed in those days/' that many pleasant versi-
fied encounters occurred. This may be instanced by the
following verses which were inserted in the ^^Athenseum."
When Miss Fanny Kemble took leave of the English
stage, at her farewell performance she took off her
wreath and threw it into the body of the house. The
following verses were written by my father, as from a
young farmer in the country.
MISS FANNY'S FAREWELL FLOWERS.
Not " the posie of a ring."
Shakjespeabb (all but the iio<).
I came to town a happy man,
I need not now dissemble
Why I return so sad at heart,
It 's aU through Fanny Eemble.
Oh, when she threw her flowers away.
What urged the tragic slut on
To weave in such a wreath as that,
Ah me, — a bachelor's button !
None fought so hard, none fought so well.
As I to gain some token —
When aU the pit rose up in arms.
And heads and hearts were broken ;
memorialB. I regret to say they are nnavailable, owuig to Mrs. John
Beynolds' reitisal to allow as access to them. It is a great disappoint-
ment that the public should be thus deprived of what would become
its propertj after publication —the records of one of its noted writ-
era. — T. H.
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12 MEMOBIALft or THOMAS HOOI^.
Hii2za I said I, I H haye a floVr
As sure as my name 's DuUon;
I made a snatch — I got a catcli -«
. Bj JoYe I a bacbelor's button 1
I Ve lost my watch — my hat is smashed -^
My clothes declare the racket ;
I went there in a frill dress coat,
And Came home in a jacket.
My nose is sweU'd, my eye is black.
My lip I Ve got a cut on —
Odds buds I — and what a bud to get —
The deuce I a bachelor's button 1
My chest 's in pain ; I really fear
I Ve somewhat hurt my bellows,
By pokes and punches in the ribs
From those herbsirewing fdhws.
I miss two teeth in my ftaot row;
My com has had & futon;
And aU this pain I Ve had, to gain
This cursed bachelor's button 1
Had I but won a rose —a bud—
A pansy — or a daisy —
A periwinkle — anything
But this — it drives me crasy I
My very sherry tastes like squills,
I can't enjoy my mutton ;
And when I sleep I dream of it —
Still — still — a bachelor's button I
My plaod is booked per coaoh to-nigh%
But oh, my spirit trembles
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MEMOBIALS OF THOMAS HOOD. 13
To think how coontry friends will ask
Of Ejiowleses and of Eembles.
If they should breathe about the wreath.
When I go back to Sutton,
I shall not dare to show my share —
That all I ~ a bachelor's button 1
My luck in life was never good,
But this my fate will harden :
I ne'er shall like my farming more, —
I know I shan't the Garden.
The turnips all may have the fly,
The wheat may have the smut on, —
I care not, — I 've a blight at heart —
Ahmel a bachelor's button 1
To this Mr. Reynolds replied with the follow-
ing—
LINES TO MISS F. KEMBLE,
on thb tlowbk scufflb at covent gabden theatsb.
By Cubl-Patbd Hugh.
** Make a scramble, gentlemen, — make a scramble."
Boifi at Greenwich.
Well, this flower strewing I must say is sweet,
And I long, Miss Kemble, to throw myself considerably at your
feet;
For you 've made me a happy man in the scuflie, when you
jerk'd about the daisies;
And ever since the night you kiss'd your hand to me and the
rest of the pit, I 've been chuck full of your praises I
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14 MEMOBIALS OF THOMAS HOOD.
I 'm no hand at writing (thoagh I can say aeveral things that 's
handsome) ;
Bnt that ignorance, thank my stars I got me off when I was
tried for forging upon Bansome.
I did n't try to get the flowers, which so many of your ardent
admirers were eager to snatch ;
But I got a very good-going chronometer, and for your sake
I '11 never part with the watch !
I've several relics from those who got your relics — a snuff-
box — a gold snap ;
A silver guard and trimmings from a very eager young chap ;
Two coat flaps with linings, from a youth, who defying blows
And oaths, and shovings, was snatching at, and I 'm sorry to
say missing, the front rose 1
One aspiring young man fit>m the country rushed at the
wreath like a glutton.
But ho retired out of the conflict with only a bachelor^s button !
Another in a frenzy fought for the flowers like anything crazy,
But I 've got his shirt-pin, and he only got two black eyes and
a daisy.
The thought of you makes me rich — Oh, you're a real friend
to fr-ee trade;
You agitate 'em so and take their attention off — If you'd
keep farewelling my fortune 'd be made.
Oh, how I shall hate to make white soup of the silver, or part
with anything for your sake 1
111 wear the country gentleman's brooch, on your account,
it 's so very pretty a make !
/ didn't get a bud — indeed, I was just at the moment busy
about other things ;
I wish you 'd allow me to show you a choice assortment of
rings —
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MEMORIALS OF THOMAS HOOD. 15
You understand the allusion; bnt I'm in earnest — that's
what I am ;
And though I 'm famous a little — dcHmestic happiness is better
than all fame 1
Well, you 're going over the water — (it may be my torn one
of these days) ;
Never heed what them foreigners the Americans says !
But hoard your heart up till you come back, and if I luckily
can
Scrape up enough, you shall find me yours, and a very altered
young man I
Conjointly with my uncle Reynolds, my father wrote
and published, although anonymously, "Odes and Ad-
dresses to Great People." This had a great sale, and
occasioned no little wonder and speculation as to the
author, as will be seen from the following letter from S.
T- Coleridge to Charles Lamb. It appears to have been
sent for perusal, as the copy I have is in my father's
handwriting.
My dear Chables,
This afternoon, a little, thin, mean-looking sort of
a foolscap sub-octavo of poems, printed on diugy out-
sides, lay on the table, which the cover informed me was
circulating in our book-club, so very Grub-streetish in all
its exteriors, internal as well as external, that I cannot
explain by what accident of impulse (assuredly there was
no motive in play) I came to look into it Least of all,
the title, "Odes and Addresses to Great Men,"' which
connected itself in my head with " Rejected Addresses "
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16 MEMOBIALS OF THOMAS HOOD.
and all the Smith and Theodore Hook squad. Bat my
dear Charles, it was certainly written by you, or under
you, or una cum you. I know none of your frequent
visitors capacious and assimilative enough of your con-
verse to have reproduced you so honestly, supposing you
had lefl yourself in pledge in his lock-up house. Gillman,
to whom I read the spirited parody on the introduction
to Peter Bell, the " Ode to the Great Unknown," and to
Mrs. Fry — he speaks doubtfully of Reynolds and Hood.
But here come Irving and Basil Montagu.
Thursday nighty 10 o^chch — No ! Charles, it is you^
I have read them over again, and I understand why you
have anon'd the book. The puns are nine in ten good,
many excellent, the Newgatory transcendant ! And then
the exemplum sine exemplo of a volume of personalities,
and contemporaneities, without a single line that could in-
flict the infinitesimal of an unpleasance on any man in his
senses — saving and except perhaps in the envy-addled
brain of the despiser of your lays. If not a triumph over
him, it is at least an ovation. Then moreover and besides,
to speak with becoming modesty, excepting my own self,
who is there but you who could write the musical lines
and stanzas that are intermixed ?
Here's Gillman come up to my garret, and driven
back by the guardian spirits of four huge flower-holders
of omnigenous roses and honeysuckles (Lord have mer-
cy on his hysterical olfactories I What will he do in
Paradise ? I must have a pair or two of nostril plugs or
nose-goggles laid in his cofiin), stands at the door, read-
ing that to Mc Adam, and the washerwoman's letter, and
he admits the facts. You are found in the maimery as
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MEMOBIALS OF THOMAS HOOD. 17
the lawyers say ; so, Mr. Charles, hang yourself up, and
send me a line by way of token and acknowledgment
My dear love to Mary. Gk>d bless you and your
Unshamabramizer,
S. T. COLEBIDOB.
On the 5th of May, 1824^ the marriage of my father
and mother took place.* In spite of all the sickness and
sorrow that formed the greatest portion of the afier-part
of their lives, the union was a happy one. My mother
was a woman of cultivated mind and Hterary tastes, and
well suited to him as a companion. He had such confi-
dence in her judgment that he read, and re-read, and
corrected with her all that he wrote. Many of his arti-
cles were first dictated to her, and her ready memory
supplied him with his references and quotations. He
frequently dictated the first draft of his articles, although
they were always finally copied out in his peculiarly
clear neat writing, which was so legible and good, that it
was once or twice begged by printers, to teach their com-
positors a first and easy lesson in reading handwriting.
Of late years my mother's time and thoughts were en-
tirely devoted to him, and he became restless and almost
seemed unable to write unless she were near.
The first few years of his married life were the most
4f I have reason to believe that the match was not entirely approved
of by my mother's family — not perhaps mireasonably, for it could not
have seemed very prudent: but the attachment was strong and gen«
nine on both sides, and so the course of true love at length reached its
goal, though not perhaps running veiy smoothly. The poems, " I love
Thee," ** Still flows the gentle streamlet oii,'Vaxid several others, were
written at this time. — T. H.
B
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18 MEMORIALS OP THOMAS HOOD.
unclouded my father ever knew, The young couple re-
sided for some years in Robert Street, Adelphi. Here
was bom their first child, which to their great grief
scarcely survived its birth. In looking over some old
papers I found a few tiny curls of golden hair, as soft as
the finest silk, wrapped in a yellow and time-worn paper
inscribed in my father's handwriting : —
" Little eyes that scarce did see,
Little lips that never smiled ;
Alas I my little dear dead child,
Death is thy fitther, and not me,
I but en^braced thee, soon as he I "
On this occasion those exquisite lines of Charles
Lamb's, "On an infant dying as soon as bom," were
written and sent to my father and mother.
I much regret that there is no record lefl of the pleas-
ant days of this intimacy with Charles Lamb and his sis-
ter. It was a very lively and sincere friendship on both
sides, and it lasted up to the time of Mr. Lamb's death.
When my father lived at Winchmore, the Lambs were
settled at Enfield, so that they were tolerably near neigh-
bours. My father's " Literary Reminiscences," in " Hood's
Own," are almost the sole memorials left of his acquaint-
ance with all those, who form such a brilliant list in Mr.
Hessey's letter.* But few now survive, nor are there
* One of them — Wainwright -— in the 7th vol. of " The London '•
(1828) criticises my father's bent and style with such an accurate per-
ception of them, as to forestal all later critics. My father wrote occa-
sionaUy under the name of Theodore M .
" Young Theodore ! young in years, not in powerl Our nfew Ovid !
— only more imaginative ! — Painter to the visible eye — and the in-
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MEMORIALS OF THOMAS HOOD. 19
anj written memoranda upon which to found any chron-
icle of that period : living so near, and being on such in-
timate terms with many of them, was ahnost sufficient
reason that but few letters remain to throw any light on
the subject Had they lived in the time of the penny
post, there would probably have been a goodly collection
of "notelets" or "chits," but in those days of heavy post-
age, a letter was a more serious undertaking.
In 1826 appeared the first series of " Whims and Od-
dities," which had a very good sale. It was dedicated to
the "Reviewers" in a humorous sort of epigram as fol-
lows : —
DEDICATION.
TO THE REVIEWERS.
What is a modem Poet's fate ?
To write his thoughts upon a slate :
The critic spits on what is done,
Gives it a wipe — and aJl is gone I
ward ; — commixture of what the superficial deem incongraous ele-
ments! — Instructive living proof how close lie the founts of laughter
and tears ! Thou fermenting brain — oppressed, as yet, by its own
riches. Though melancholy would seem to have touched thy heart
with her painful (salutary) hand, yet is thy fancy mercurial — unde-
pressed; — and sparkles and crackles more from the contact — as the
northern lights when they near the frozen pole. How ! is the fit not
on? Still is * Lycus' without mate! — Who can mate him but thy-
self? Let not the 'shallow induce thee to conceal this thy depth.
* * * * As for thy word gambols, thy humour, thy fantastics,
thy curiously-conce'ited perceptions of similarity in dissimilarity, of
coherents in incoherents, they are brilliantly suave, innocuously ex-
hilaratmg; — but not a step farther if thou lovest thy proper peace I
Bead the fine of the eleventh, and the whole of the twelfth chapter of
* Tristram Shandy; ' and believe them, dear Theodore! "
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20 MEMORIALS OF THOMAS HOOD.
This first series took so well with the public, that a
second edition followed, — and some time afterwards, in
1827, a second series appeared, dedicated to Sir Walter
Scott This was followed bj two volumes of ^ National
Tales,** a series of stories, or rather novelettes, somewhat
in the manner of Boccaccia These are now utterly out
of print ; they were published by Mr. W. H. Ainsworth,
then living in Bond Street
The "Plea of the Midsummer Fairies,"* a very fa-
vourite poem of his own, appeared in 1827, but it did
not exactly suit the public taste, and many copies re-
mained unsold on the publisher's shelf. My father afler-
# This most artistic poem has latterly been more fairly appreciated
in spite of its antiquated style. The art, troth, and pictorial skill, as
in the " Hannted House," require patient and quiet criticism. I may
mention in reference to this subject, that the first book (of course, by
Lamb's rules, " Headings made Easy " and the like are not books) that
I read was selected by my father, and was the " Midsummer Night's
Dream." Of this I read all the fairy portion one summer's day,
perched at an open window on a fitting couch composed of bales of
** sheets" — probably the sheets of the very work which suggested
this note. At that time I was about seven years old.
It is not out of place here to insert a sonnet by the late Mr. Moxon,
of Dover Street That gentleman was an old friend of my father's,
whom I have frequently heard speak of him in the warmest terms, as
one whose own talents enabled him to recognise genius in others, and
whose integrity and liberality as a man of business were without
paralleL My father, not often fortunate in his dealings, used to say,
"Moxon is the only honest publisher I know," — a sentence which,
though severe, was warranted by his experience, and the losses he had
met with through dishonesty. It remains — a most grateful task —
for my sister and myself to add our heartfelt tribute to our father's
praise of Mr. Moxon. We shall never forget his generous arrange-
ments for the publication of our father's poems after his death ; and
most deeply do we regret that Mr. Moxon has not lived to superintend
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MEMOBIALS OF THOMAS HOOD. 21
wards bought up the remainder of the edition, as he said
himself, to save it from the butter shops.
The poem of ^' Eugene Aram's Dream" first appeared
in an annual called the "Gem," of which in the year
1829 he was editor, but it was afterwards republished in
a separate form with drawings bj Harvey, an intimate
friend of my father^s.
In 1829 he left London for Winchmore Hill, where he
took a very pretty little cottage situated in a pleasant
garden. He was very much attached to it, and many
years afterwards I have known him point out some fan-
cied resemblance in other places, and say to my mother,
"Jenny, that's very like Winchmore." It is a pretty
neighbourhood even now, when the great metropolis has
the publication of these Memorials of one^ between whom and himself
8o cordial a friendship existed. — T. H.
SONNET.
TO T. HOOD, WBITTEN AFTER READING HIS *' PLEA OF THE
MIDSUMMER FAIRIES."
Delightfdl Bard! what praises meet are thine,
More than my verse can sonnd to thee belong;
Well hast thou pleaded, with a tongue divine,
In this thy sweet and newly-breathfed song,
Where like the stream smooth numbers gliding tiu:ong:
Gathered, methinks, I see the Elfin Race,
With the Immortal standing them among,
Smiling benign with more than courtly grace j —
Rescued I see them — all their gambols trace,
With their fair Queen Titania in her bower,
And all their avocations small embrace.
Pictured by thee with a Shaksperian power —
Oh, when the time shall come thy soul must flee,
Then may some hidden spirit plead for thee. — Edward Moxok.
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22 MEMORIALS OF THOMAS HOOD.
encroached far on the " Green Lanes," and in those days
no doubt was considered quite in the country.
An amusing incident took place during their removal
£rom town. A large hamper of glass and china had ar-
rived from town by the carrier one morning, and the con-
tents, being unpacked, were placed, pro tempore, on a
dresser in the china closet This wooden shelf had been
only newly mortared into the wall, and when all this
weight was put on it, of course it came suddenly down
with an alarming crash. My father who was within
hearing soon came to the scene of action, or rather frac-
tion, and, after coolly surveying the damage, very quietly
sent the maid to her mistress with the message " that the
china which came up in the morning, had come down in
the evening." This to his great amusement brought my
mother, in a state of utter mystification, to the scene of
the catastrophe. They were, however, both cheerful peo-
ple, and the breakage was borne with tolerable philoso-
phy on both sides.
He enjoyed pla3ring off little harmless practical jokes
on my mother, who on her part bore them with the
sweetest temper, and joined in the laugh against herself
afterwards with great good humour. She was a capital
subject for his fun, for she believed implicitly in whatever
he told her, however improbable, and though vowing se-
riously every time not to be taken in again, she was sure
to be caught. Her innocent face of wonder and belief
added greatly to the zest of the joke.
On one occasion soon after their marriage, my father
was suddenly seized with rheumatic fever of a severe
kind. On his partial recovery he was ordered to Brigh-
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. MEMOBIALS OF XHOMAS HOOD. 23
ton to recruit his strength. Sea air always produced a
beneficial effect on his health; and for manj years he
was in the habit of visiting Brighton, or his favourite
haunt, Hastings, for a few weeks.
At the time I mention he was so weak as to be obliged
to be lifled into the coach at starting, but. the next day,
refreshed by the first breath of the bracing air, he was
almost himself. At breakfast he ofiered to give my
mother a few hints on buying fish, adducing his own su-
perior experience of tHe sea, as a reason for informing
her ignorance as a young housekeeper. "Above all
things, Jane," said he, " as they will endeavour to impose
upon your inexperience, let nothing induce you to buy a
plaice that has any appearance of red or orange spots, as
they are sure signs of an advanced stage of decomposi-
tion." My mother promised faithful compliance -in the
innocence of her heart, and accordingly when the fish-
woman came to the door, she descended to show off her
newly acquired information. As it happened, the wo-
man had very little except plaice, and these she turned
over and over, praising their size and freshness. But
the obnoxious red spots on every one of them still greet-
ed my mother's dissatisfied eyes. On her hinting a doubt
of their freshness, she was met by the assertion that they
were not long out of the water, having been caught that
morning. This shook my mother's doubts for a moment,
but remembering my father's portrayal of the Brighton
fish women's iniquitous falsehoods, she gravely shook her
head, and mildly observed, in all the pride of conscious
knowledge, " My good woman, it may be as you say, but
I could not think of buying any plaice with those very
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24 MEMOBIALS OF THOHAS HOOD.
unpleasant red spots I " The woman's answer was a per
feet shout " Lord bless your eyes, Mum I who ever seed
any without 'em ? "
A suppressed giggle on the stairs rerealed the perpe-
trator of the joke, and my father rushed off in a perfect
ecstacy of laughter, leaving my poor discomfited mother
to appease the angry sea-nymph as she could. This was
a standing joke for many years, in common with the
story of the pudding, which will appear hereafter.
My father's attachment to the 'sea, as I remarked be-
fore, was very great, and he seized every opportunity of
getting within reach of it.* He was much amused when
one of his contemporaries, in a little sketch of his life,
gravely asserted that he was destined for the sea, but
would not carry out the intention, owing to his dislike of
the great ocean. The only ground he could imagine
there was for this assertion was, that in one of the Com-
* This cut was one of several sketches drawn by my father to teach
his wife the names, &c., of the different craft at Hastings. — T. H.
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MEMORIALS OF THOMAS HOOD. 25
ics he wrote a sort of burlesque account of first going to
sea, with all its attendant horrors to a landsman of stomi
and sickness. But this I need hardly say was under a
fictitious character, and quite the reverse of his own
opinions. Although his life had twice been in danger
owing to it, yet his love and relish for the sea and all
belonging to • it partook almost of yearning afiection,
which he has so beautifcilly expressed in a sonnet pub-
lished in the last collection of poems, commencing —
" Shall I rebuke thee, Ocean, my old love ? "
The allusion here is to the fearful storm he encoun->
tered in after years, when crossing to Rotterdam. But
his first peril was of a different kind, as I remember
hearing the story from his own lips. It occurred before
his marriage, but in what year I cannot ascertain. He
was in the habit of going frequently to Hastings, and
there he enjoyed boating to his heart's content, accompa-
nied by his favourite old boatman Tom Woodgate, whom
he commemorated in a sea-side sketch. At this particu-
lar time my father had just recovered from a severe
illness, and after a few days' stay at Hastings, he fancied
a bathe in the open sea would do him good. He had
often bathed so before; and being a good swimmer he
used to go out in the boat some way from shore, and then
undress and plunge in. This he accordingly did, being
still weak, and when he came up from his first plunge he
found himself under the boat Knowing the full extent
of his danger, he exerted all his remaining strength and
dived again, when he succeeded in coming up at some
distance from the boat He said he should never forget
VOL. I. 2
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26 MEMORIALS OF THOMAS HOOD.
his sensations when he saw the green water, "like a
bubble " getting lighter above him ; he could only com-
pare it to the often described feelings of persons rescued
from drowning, when the events of all their past life
seem to flash before them in a moment. He was so
utterly exhausted when he came up that he could
scarcely support himself till the boat reached him. The
boatman told him afterwards he was dreadfully fright-
ened, for although the whole occurrence took place in
perhaps less time than it takes to describe it, the interval
was quite long enough for his experience to tell him that
something was wrong. Great was his relief to see my
father come up at a little distance, and lustily did he pull
to his help. He owned that he was speculating how he
was ever to go back to Hastings with the clothes and
watch, as few would have believed his story. Fortu-
nately this tragical end was averted, but it was a warn-
ing to my father ever after. He perfectly understood the
management of a boat, and would often tiike the helm,
but he never attempted bathing in the open sea again.
During one of his visits to Brighton my father made
acquaintance with an old lieutenant in the Coast Guard,
a great oddity, who used to drop in of an evening for a
quiet rubber. From him my father learned his solitary
song ; the only one he was ever known to sing ; and
quaint and characteristic enough it was. It ran somehow
in this fashion —
" Up jumped the mackerel,
With his striped back, —
Says he, * Reef in the mains'l, and haul on the tack,
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MEMORIALS OF THOMAS HOOD. 27
For it 's windy weather,
It 's stormy weather,
And when the wind blows pipe all hands together —
For, upon my word, it is windy weather I * "
This is the only verse that remains as a family tradi-
tion of the song, but, if I remember rightly, it brought
in the suggestions of the various fishes for sailing the
vesseL Now my father, curiously enough, with the most
delicate perception of the rhythm and melody of versify-
ing, and the most acute instinct for any jarring syllable
or word, and peculiarly happy in the musical cadence of
his own poetry, had yet not the slightest ear for music.
He could not sing a tune through correctly, and was
rather amused by the defect than otherwise, especially
when a phrenologist once told him his organs of time
and tune were very deficient* My father used to say
on the very rare occasions on which he was ever known
to sing, that he chose this particular song because if he
W(28 out of tune no one could detect him, especially as he
made a point of refusing all encores.
At Winchmore Hill my father must have resided
* Several people observed this in him, and one, who was just safe-
landed from a rhapsody on music, in which he had indulged before
my father, who did n't Sympathise, said — " Ah, you know, you 've no
musical enthusiasm — you don't know what it is ! " It was a danger-
ous thing to " snub " my father, for he generally gave as good as he
took. In this instance he said — " Oh yes, I do know it ^- it's like
turtle soup — for every pint of real, you meet with gallons of mock,
with calves' heads in proportion."
One discovery he did make in music, which was that you cannot
play on the black keys of a piano without producing a Scotch tune, op
what will very well pass for one. — T. H.
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28 MEMORIALS OF THOMAS HOOD.
about three years ; and here, in 1830, 1 was bom. In
the Christmas of the same year the first "Comic An-
nual" appeared. To Sir Francis Freeling, his friend
and my godfather, was this volume dedicated by my
father in the following words, — Sir Francis being at
that time Secretary to the Postmaster-General; —
TO SIB FRANCIS FREELING, BART.,
The Great Patron of Letters, Foreign, General, and Twopenny; dta-
tingnished alike for his fostering care of the
Bell Letters;
And his antiquarian regard for the
Dead Letters;
Whose increasing efforts to forward the spread of intelligence, as
Corresponding Member of All Societies (and no man fills his Post bet-
ter), have
Singly, Doubly, and Trebly
Endeared him to every class ; this first volume of "The Comic An-
nual," is with Frank permission, gratefully inscribed by
Thosias Hood.
A copy of this first volume was, I believe, sent to the
late Duke of Devonshire, and this I imagine was my
father's first introduction to him, as I find his Grace's
letter of thanks for it, dated February 8th, 1831.
London.
Sir,
Accept my best thanks for the beautiful copies of the
^ Comic Annual," which I have had the pleasure of re-
ceiving fix)m you ; you could not have selected a person
who has enjoyed more the perusal of your works.
I am almost afraid of making the following request,
but perhaps it may be as amusing as it mttst be easy to
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BIEMOBIALS OF THOMAS HOOI>. 29
70a to oomplj with it, in which case alone I beg you to
do it.
It is necessary to construct a door of sham books, for
the entrance of a library at Chatsworth : your assistance
in giving me inscriptions for these unreal folios, quartosi
and 12mos, is what I now ask.
One is tired of the "Plain Dealings,** "Essays on
Wood," and "Perpetual Motion* on such doors, — on
one I have seen the names of " Don Quixote's Library,"
and on others impossibilities, such as " Yirgilii Odaria,**
— "Herodoti Poemata" — "Byron's Sermons" — Ac,
&,c. ; but from you I venture to hope for more attractive
titles — at your perfect leisure and convenience. I have
the honour to be, Sir, with many excuses.
Your sincere humble servant,
Deyonshibe.
In accordance with this request my father, in April,
sent the following letter to the Duke:
WiHCHHOBE Hill.
Mt Loed Duke,
On learning that Your Grace is at Chatsworth, I send
off as many titles as have occurred to me; promising
myself the honour and pleasure of waiting upon Your
Grace with some others on the 14th, and am.
My Lord Duke,
Your Grace's most obliged and obedient servant,
Thos. Hood.
The list of titles follows this. Some of them have lost
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80 MEMORIALS OF THOMAS HOOD.
the point which the topics of the day gave to them, while
others appear to be such bond fde works, that one does
not always catch the hidden meaning. As an instance of
this I will mention ^ The Life of Zimmermann (the au
thor of ' Solitude '). By himself r
TITLES FOR THE LIBRARY DOOR, CHATSWORTH.
On the Lnng Amo in Consnmption. By D. Cline.
Dante^s Inferno; or Description of Van Demon's Land.
The Racing Calendar, with the Eclipses for 1881.
- Ye Devill on Two Styx (Black letter). 2 Vols.
On cutting off Heirs with a Shilling. By Barber Beaumont.
Percy Vere. In 40 volnmes.
Galerie des Grands Tableaux par les Petits MaStres.
On the Affinity of the Death Watch and Sheep Tick.
Lamb's Recollections of Suett
Lamb on the Death of Wolfe.
The ^optician. By Lord Famham.
Tadpoles ; or Talcs out of ray own Head.
On the Connection of the River Odor and the River Wezel.
Malthus' Attack of Infantry.
McAdam's Views in Rhodes.
Spenser, with Chaucer's Tales.
Autographia; or Man's Nature, known by his Sig-nature.
Manfredi. Translated by Defoe.
Earl Grey on Early Rising.
Plurality of Livings, with regard to the Common Cat
The Life of Zimmermann. By Himself.
On the Quadrature of the Circle; or Squaring in the Ring. By
J. Mendoza.
Gall's Sculler's Fares.
Bish's Retreat of the Ten Thousand.
Dibdin's Cream of Tar — .
Comaro on Longevity and the Construction of 74's .
Pompeii; or Memoirs of a Black Footman. By Sir W. Gell.
Pygmalion. By Lord Bacon.
Macintosh, MaccuUoch, and Macaulay on Almacks.
On Trial by Jury, with remarkable Packing Cases.
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MEMORIALS OF THOMAS HOOD. 81
On the Distinction between Lawgivers and Law-sellers. By Lord
Brougham.
Memoirs of Mrs. Mountain. By Ben Lomond.
Feu mon pfere — feu ma m^re. Par Swing.
On Dec. the 22nd, 1832, my father sent His Grace
the following further instalment of titles, with the letter
which is printed after them.
Boyle on Steam.
Bules for Punctuation. By a thorough-bred Pointer.
Blaine on Equestrian Burglary; or the Breaking-in of Horses.
Chronological Account of the Date Tree.
Hughes Ball on Duelling.
Book-keeping by Single Entry
John Knox on " Death's Door."
Designs for Friezes. By Captain Parry.
Remarks on the Terra Cotta or Mud Cottages of Lreland.
Considerations sur le Vrai Guy, et Le Faux.
Kosciusko on the Right of the Poles to stick up fpr themselves.
Prize poems, in Blank verse.
On the Site of Tully's Offices.
The Rape of the Lock, with Bramah's Notes.
Haughty-cultural Remarks on London Pride.
Annual Parliaments; a Plea for Short Commons.
Michau on Ball-Practice.
On Sore Throat and the Migration of the Swallow. By T. Aber-
nethy.
Scott and Lot By the Author of " Waverley.»'
Debrett on Chain Piers.
Voltaire, Volney, Volta. 8 Vols.
Peel on Bell's System.
Grose's Slang Dictionary; or Vocabulary of Grose Language.
Freeling on f)nclosing Waste Lands.
Elegy on a Black-Cock, shot amongst the Moors. By W. Wilber-
lorce.
.lohnson's Contradictionary.
Sir T. Lawrence on the Complexion of Fairies and Brownies.
Life of Jack Ketch, with Cuts of his own Execution.
Barrow on the Common WeaL
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32 MEMOIUALS OF THOMAS HOOD.
Hoyle's Qnadrapedia; or Rules of All-Fonrs.
Campaigns of the British Arm: By one of the German Leg.
Cursory Remarks on Swearing.
On the Collar of the Garter. By Miss Bailey of Halifax.
Shelley*s Conchologist
Recollections of Bannister. By Lord Stair.
The Hole Duty of Man. By L P. BmneL
Ude's Tables of Interest.
Chantrey on the Sculpture of the Chipaway Indians.
The Scottish Boccaccio. By D. Cameron.
Cook's Specimens of the Sandwich Tongue.
In>i-go on Secret Entrances.
Hoyle on the Game Laws.
M^moires de Lsr-porte.
Lake Housb, Dec. 22, 1832.
My Lord Duke,
I am extremely obliged to Your Grace for the kind
and early answer to my request concerning Lady Gran-
ville. With my best thanks I have the honour of pre-
senting a copy of my " Annual/' and sincerely hope to
have the same pleasure for many years to come.
The enclosed titles were for a long time " titles extinct,**
— being lost with other papers in my removal hither : or,
as Othello says, thro' '^moving accidents by flood and
fleld." Some memoranda subsequently turned up, but I
feared too late for use ; and besides I could not disentan- -
gle the new from the old.
This has been matter of regret to me, but I have made
up my mind to send them to Tour Grace on the chance
of their becoming of use, and that some secret door may
yet open to them, like those in the old romances.
I have the honour to be,
My Lord Duke,
Your Grace's obliged servant,
Thos. Hood.
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MEMORIALS OF THOMAS HOOD. 33
His Grace acknowledged the receipt of the titles in
the following letter :
Ghatswobth.
Sir,
I am more obliged to you than I can say for mj titles.
They are exactly what I wanted, and invented in that
remarkable vein of humour, which has in your works
caused me and many of my friends so much amusement
and satisfaction.
I shall anxiously await the promised additions — but I
hope that on my return to London you will allow me an
opportunity of thanking you in person. There is hardly
any day on which you would not find me at home at
twelve o'clock, and after the 13th of this month I shall
be settled in London.
I have the honour to be. Sir,
Most truly and sincerely yours,
Devonshire.
This letter, it will be remarked, was in acknowledg-
ment of the first set of titles. After this many commu-
nications passed between His Grace and my father. Until
the time of my father's death (I might add even after
that time, when I think of his generous subscription to
the Monumental .Fund) the Duke's acts of considerate
kindness never varied or failed. Among other little
minor courtesies I find, among my father's papers, ad-
missions to Chatsworth, and to the Private Apartments
at Windsor. The " Comic Annual of 1831 was dedicated
to His Grace, and that of 1832 to Lady Granville, by a
permission hinted at in the letter of Dec. 22nd. But
2« o
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34 MEMORIALS OF THOMAS HOOD.
His Grace's kindnesses were not always minor ones. As-
sistance of great service was rendered bj him to my '
father in the shape of a volunteered friendly loan, the
benefit of which will be seen in the ensuing letter :
Lakb House, Augutl, 1833
Mt Lord Duke,
It will doubtless appear to Your Grace that one re- .
quest brings on a second, as certainly as one Scotchman is
said to introduce another, when I entreat for my new
novel of " Tylney Hall " the same honour that was for-
merly conferred on the " Comic Annual."
If a reason be sought why I desire to address a second
dedication to the same personage, I can only refer to the
"on revient toujours^ principle of the French song;
and no one could have better cause so to try back than
myself.
I hesitate to intrude with details, but I know the good-
ness which originated one obligation will be gratified to
learn that the assistance referred to has been, and is, of
the greatest service in a temporary struggle — though '
arduous enough to one of a profession never overbur-
thened with wealth, from Homer downwards. Indeed
the Nine Muses seem all to have lived in one house for
cheapness. I await, hopefully anxious, Your Gi:ace's
pleasure as to the new honour I solicit, fully prepared, in "
case of acquiescence, to exclaim with the Tinker to the
" G<x>d Ouke " of Burgundy, in the old ballad,
" Well, I thank your good Grace,
And your love I embrace,
I was never before in so happy a case 1 "
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MEMORIALS OF THOMAS HOOIX 35
With my humble but fervent wishes for the health and
happiness of Your Grace, and one not so ^Yourable to
the long life of the grouse, I have the honour to be.
My Lord Duke,
Your Grace's most obliged and devoted servant,
Thos. Hood,
Between 1831-2 mj father had some connection with
the stage in the form of dramatic composition. It was
probably at this time he made the acquaintance of T. P.
Cooke, and, I think, Dibdin.
He wrote the libretto for a little English Opera, that
was brought out, I believe, at the Surrey. Its name is
lost now, although it had a good run at the time. Per-
haps it may be recognised by some old play-goer by the
fact that its dramatis persona were all hees. My father
also assisted my unde Reynolds in the dramatising of
Gil Bias, which, if my impression be right, was produced
at Drury Lane. One scene was very cleverly managed,
considering that stage machinery (which now-a-days is
almost engineering) was then in its infancy. It was a
scene divided into two, horizoTUaUy^ displa3ring at once
the robber's cave, and the country beneath which it was
excavated.
It is much to be regretted that we have been unable
to discover any traces of an entertainment which was
written, somewhere about this time, by my father for the
well-known inimitable Charles Matthews the Elder, who
was heard by a friend most chai-acteristlcally to remark,
that he liked the entertainment very much, and Mr.
Hood too, — bat that all the time he was reading it, Mrs.
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36 MEMORIALS OF THOMAS HOOD.
Hood would keep snuffing the candles. This little fidg-
etty observation very much shocked my mother, and of
course delighted my father.
He also wrote a pantomime for Mr. Frederick Yates,
of the old Adelphi Theatre, and on that occasion received
ihe following quaint epistle, the writer being Mr. Yates's
factotum, and moreover machinist of all those wonderful
Adelphi pieces that made that tiny theatre famous, and
delighted the play-going public of those days. Mr. Wil-
liam Godbee was also, I think, the contriver and invent-
or of Matthews* transformation dresses, for his entertain-
ments, and especially famous for manufacturing queer
wigs and head-dresses for him. He was a clever man,
but a great oddity, as the following letter will show.
Theatre Botal, Adelphi, Jidy 24, 1832.
Mr. Godbee's Respectful! Compliments to Mr. Hood,
and he begs leave to state that he have Received a Let-
ter this morning from Mr. Yates, who is in Glasgow, and
he begs of him to go Immediately to Mr. Reynolds of
Golden Square, to beg of him to Intreat of Mr. Hood to
Favour him with a Coppy of his Pantomime of Harle-
quin and Mr. Jenkins, for Mr. Yates by some unfortunate
circumstance have lost it, and the Dresses and Scenery
are of no use to him unless he had the M.S. of The Pan-
tomime. Therefore if Mr. Hood have it by him, and
would Send it Enclosed in a Parcel to the Stage Door of
the Adelphi Theatre, he would be conferring an Ever-
lasting Favour on him. Honored Sir, if you should not
be so fortunate as to have it by you. Pray OUidge me
with an answer by Post, as I dare not Send his Scenery
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MEMORIALS OF THOMAS HOOD. . 37
and Dresses without the M.S. to Glasgow. I trust your
Goodness of hert will Pardon me in thus troubling you.
Permit me to Remain
Your Humble Servant,
William Godbee.
P. S. Dear Sir, I shal wait with all anxiety as I can't
write nor send to Mr. Yates until I hear from you.
Whether poor Mr. Godbee's anxiety was set at rest,
and the Pantomime found, is not now to be ascertained,
but it is to be hoped it was.
Of all my father's attempts at dramatic writing I can
find no trace, save one little song intended for a musical
piece, which was written to the air "My mother bids
me bind my hair " :
AIR.
My mother bids me spend my smiles
On all who come and call me fair,
As crumbs are thrown upon the tiles,
To all the sparrows of the air.
But I *ve a darling of my own,
For whom I hoard my little stock —
What if I chirp him all alone,
And leave mamma to feed the flock I
The " Comic Annual" of 1832 was dedicated by per-
mission to King William the Fourth, who received the
dedication and a copy of the work very graciously, and
eventually expressed a desire to see my father. He
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38 MEMORIALS OF THOMAS HOOD.
accordingly called upon His Majesty by appointment at
Brighton. My father was much taken with His Majes*
tfa cordial and hearty manner, and I believe he was
very well received. One thing I remember is the fact,
that, on backing -out of the royal presence, my father
forgot the way he had entered, and retrograded to the
wrong entry. The king good-humouredly laughed^ and
himself showed him the right direction, going with him
to the door.
In 1832 * he left Winchmore Hill, owing to some dis-
agreement with his landlord, who declined to make some
necessary alterations ; it was much to be regretted, and
he always spoke of it afterwards in that light. He was
induced to take a house in Essex,t — Lake House, Wan-
stead. He was overpersuaded to do so by some not very
judicious friends, and he ever afterwards repented it. It
was, however, a beautiful old place, although exceedingly
inconvenient, for there was not a good bed-room in it.
The fact was, it had formerly been a sort of banqueting-
haU to Wanstead Park, and the rest of the house was
sacrificed to the one great room, which extended all
along the back. It had a beautiful chimney-piece carved
in fruit and flowers by Gibbons, and the ceiling bore
traces of painting. Several quaint Watteau-like pictures
* It will be seen by reference to the letters to the Duke of Devon-
shire, that this removal took place toward the end of the j^ear — prob-
ably in October. — T. H.
t The house was the banqueting hall of the splendid mansion that
used to stand in Wanstead Park. Between them spread a large lake,
80 that the festive parties came by water. This has now dwindled to
a couple of ponds, connected by a ditch, but it was doubtless finom. it
that the house took its name. — T. H.
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MEMORIALS OF THOMAS HOOD. 39
of the Seasons were panelled in the walls, but it was all
in a shocking state of repair, and in the twilight the rats
used to come and peep out of the holes in the wainscot
There were two or three windows on each side, while a
door in the middle opened on a flight of steps leading
into a pleasant wilderness of a garden, infested by hun-
dreds of rabbits from the warren dose hj. From the
windows you could catch lovely glimpses of forest
scenery, especially one little aspen avenue. In the midst
of , the garden lay the little lake ftom which the house
took its name, surrounded by huge masses of rhododen-
drons.
In the early part of his residence at Wanstead, my
father's boyish spirit of fun broke out as usuaL On one
occasion some boys were caught by him in the act of
robbing an orchard ; with the assistance of the gardener,
they were dragged trembling into the house. My moth-
er's father happened to be staying there, an imposing-
looking old gentleman, who had not forgotten his scholas-
tic dignity when looking on anything in the shape of a
boy. A hint to him sufficed, and he assumed an arm-
chair and the character of a J. P. for the county. The
frightened offenders were drawn up before him, and for-
mally charged by my father with the theft, which was
further proved by the contents of their pockets. The
judge, assuming a severe air, immediately sentenced
them to instant execution by hanging on the cherry tree.
I can recollect being prompted by my father to kneel
down and intercede for the culprits, and my frightened
crying and the solemn farce of the whole scene had its
due efifect on the offenders* Down on their knees they
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40 MEMORIALS OF THOMAS HOOD.
dropped in a row, sobbing and whining most piteously,
and vowing never "to do so no more." My father,
thinking them sufficiently punished, gave the hint, and
they were as solemnly pardoned, my father and grand-
father laughing heartily to see the celerity with which
they made off.
On another occasion two or three friends came down
for a day's shooting, and, as they often did, in the even-
ing they rowed out into the middle of the little lake in
an old punt They were full of spirits, and had played
off one or two practical jokes on their host, till on getting
out of the boat, leaving him last, one of them gave it a
push, and out went my father into the water. Fortu-
nately it was the landing-place, and the water was not
deep, but he was wet through. It was playing with
edged tools to venture on such tricks with him, and he
quietly determined to turn the tables. Accordingly he
presently began to complain of cramps and stitches, and
at last went in-doors. His friends getting rather ashamed
of their rough fun, persuaded him to go to bed, which he
immediately did. His groans and complaints increased
so alarmingly, that they were almost at their wits' ends
what to do. My mother had received a quiet hint, and
was therefore not alarmed, though much amused at the
terrified efforts and prescriptions of the repentant jokers.
There was no doctor to be had for miles, and all sorts of
queer remedies were suggested and administered, my
father shaking with laughing, while they supposed he
had got ague or fever. One rushed up with a tea-kettle
of boiling water hanging on his arm, another tottered
under a tin bath, and a third brought the mustard. My
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MEMORIALS OF THOMAS HOOD. 41
father at length, as well as he ooukl speak, gave out in a
sepulchral voice that he was sure he was dying, and de-
tailed some most absurd directions for his will, which
they were all too frightened to see the fiin of. At last
he could stand it no longer, and after hearing the peni-
tent offenders beg him to forgive them for their unfortu-
nate joke, and beseech him to believe in their remorse,
he burst into a perfect shout of laughing, which they
thought at first was delirious frenzy, but which ultimately
betrayed the joke.
Nor was I,* though a mere child, more exempt than
my mother from a few innocent pranks. I had a favour-
ite but very ugly wooden doll, combining all the usual
features of the race, a triangular nose, button mouth, and
inverted eyes. This lovely creature I left by some
chance in the dangerous precincts of my father's study.
What was my horror and amazement next morning to
find her comely visage thickly studded with bright pink
spots ! For some hours I dared not go near her, as she
lay extended on the table, being firmly persuaded she
had the measles, then very prevalent in the neighbour-
hood. My father was, of course, the author of the mis-
chief, and perceived the success of his plan with infinite
amusement. My fears, however, were not allayed till
poor dolly underwent a thorough ablution, under which
* My sister was often the subject of such jokes. I myself was too
young for any more advanced pleasantry than a ** booby-trap '* of light
pamphlets, carefully disposed on the top of the study door, but I was
often spectator of little plots laid for my sister, such as a pinch of
damp gunpowder plastered round the wick of a candle, which she
would light in order to fetch some book, or go on some pretended
errand. — T.H.
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42 MEMORIALS OF THOMAS HOOD.
purification her few remaining charms vanished for
ever.
Though living at Wanstead, my father and mother
still visited the sea-side at intervals ; indeed, my father
seemed always to yearn with a vague longing for the
ocean, "his old love" — just as dwellers in towns long
for green fields. . In 1833 he wrote the following letter
to Wright from Ramsgate.
Ramsgate, May 26, Wind E. N. E., Weather moder-
ate. Remain in the harbour the Isis, Snow, Rose, Pink,
Daisy, cutters; Boyle, steamer; John Ketch, powerful
lugger.
In the Roads, the Mc Adam, with Purbeck stone.
The Jane (Mrs. Hood) on putting out to sea, was quite
upset, and obliged to discharge.
My dear WRiaHT,
It was like your lubberly taste, to prefer the Epsom
Salts to the Ocean Brine, but I am glad to hear you do
mean after all to trust your precious body, as you have
sometimes committed your voice, to the " deep, deep sea."
Should its power overwhelm you, it will only be a new
illustration of the saying that "might overcomes (W)
right."
(Jack enters to say the wind and tide serve, so am
after a sail, which I hope, with respect to myself, will
prove a " sail of effects.")
(3 p.m. Re-enter the Ann (a young lady friend of
Hood's) with T. H., his face well washed, his coat drip-
ping, collar like two wet dog's ears, and his old hat as
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MEMORIALS OF THOMAS HOOD. 43
glossy as a new "'un." He eats a biscuit as soft as
sopped granite, a dram of whiskey, and then resumes the
pen.)
^'^^es are tftD'^ ^^«/r futte V^"^
Although they are prose, I defy a poet to write better
descriptive lines of the sea than the four last.
The Derby seems to have been highly creditable to
Glaucus and the rest of the favourites. Outsiders (and
sea-siders) for ever 1
There come over here boats from France laden with
boxes of white things, of an oval shape, the size of eggs ;
I rather think they are eggs, and I was much amused
with an energetic question which one of our local marines
put to one of the French ones, — " Where do you get
all your eggs ? " as if they had some way of making
them by machinery. For certain the quantity is great,
and the French hens must lay longer odds than mine.
Please to copy the following verbatim, and send it to
Dilke per post : —
Pencilled annotation on Prince Puckler Muskau, from
Sackett's Library, Ramsgate, p. 212, vol. i.
" What a lie, you frog^ating rascal ! What do you
mean by telling such a twister?"
The weather is so fine, you will be a great Pump if
you do not come here sooner than you propose.
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44 MEMORIALS OF THOMAS HOOD.
When you talk of the middle of the week, you may
as well embrace the waist of the week, and come down
here at once by Tuesday's Margate steamer. Every
hour will do you good, so don't stick Thursday obstinate-
ly on your back, like an ass ridden by Day. Seriously,
I shall look for you, and my doctor says all disappoint-
ments will throw me back. Mind while you are on
board, have a crust and Cheshire and bottled porter for a
lunch. The last is capital ! No entire can match that
which hath been ripened and mellowed by voyaging.
Even Ann Porter (the young lady referred to before) is
improved by crossing the ChanneL Don't forget the
pig-tail, — that is the porter. And sit not with your
back to the bulwark, on account of the tremor of the
engine. The sound is as of a perpetual gallopade per-
formed by sea horses. Just go to the chimney and listen.
There was no illness whatever when I came down, —
at least human sickness The only symptom I saw was
the heaving of the lead.
# « « * ^
T remain, dear Wright, yours distantly,
Thos. Hood, R N.
P. S. Wind has veered half a point. Forgot to say
we forgot my birthday on the 23rd, so are keeping it to-
day ex post facto, but not completely as usual, for I had
no artillery to discharge at one o'clock.
While residing at Lake House, my father wrote his
only completed novel, "Tylney Hall," much of the
scenery and description being taken from Wanstead
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MEMOBIALS OF THOMAS HOOD.
45
and its neighbourhood. This was dedicated to the Duke
of Devonshire. Here also was written a little volume
containing a poem called the " Epping Hunt," with illus-
trations hj Cruikshank. The frontispiece was an admira*
ble likeness of an old gentleman who lived near us, a
Mr. Rounding. He was one of the few surviving repre-
sentatives of the genuine old fox-hunting squires of other
days, living in hospitable style in a large old house, and
keeping his pack of hounds. He was, I believe, the
manager of those Cockney Olympian revels, the Epping
Hunts, which, however, at that time were many shades
better than they are now.
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46 IHEMORIALS OF THOMAS HOOD.
CHAPTER II.
1835.
He is involved in Difficulties by the Failure of a Firm. — Birth of only
Son. — Illness of Mrs. Hood. — Acquaintance with Dr. Elliot — Goes
to Germany. — Nearly lost in the ** Lord Melville." — At Rotterdam.
— Letters to his Wife. — Joined by her and the Children at Coblenz.
— Letter from Mrs. Hood to Mrs. Elliot. — Acquaintance with Lieu-
tenant De Franck. — Letters to Mr. and Mrs. Dilke, Mr. Wright, and
Lieutenant De Franck.
AT the end of 1834, by the failure of a firm my
father suffered, in common with many others, Tery
heavy loss, and consequently bfecame involved in pecuni-
ary difficulties. " For some months he strove with his
embarrassments, but the first heavy sea being followed up
by other adversities, all hope of righting the vessel was
abandoned. In this extremity had he listened to the
majority of his advisers, he would at once have absolved
himself of his obligations by one or other of those sharp
but sure remedies, which the legislature has provided for
all such evils. But a sense of honour forbade such a
course, and emulating the illustrious example of Sir
Walter Scott, he determmed to try whether he could not
score off his debts as effectually and more creditably,
with his pen, than with the legal whitewash or a wet
sponge. He had aforetime realised in one year a sum
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MEMORIALS OF THOMAS HOOD. 47
equal to the amount in arrear, and there was consequent-
ly fair reason to expect that by redoubled diligence,
economising, and escaping costs at law, he would soon be
able to retrieve his affairs. With these views, leaving
every shilling behind him, derived from the sale of his
effects, the means he carried with him being an advance
upon his future labours, he voluntarily expatriated him-
self, and bade his native land good night."
This is extracted from a letter of his own in which hd
describes the whole course of his affairs.
To put the crowning stroke on all his sorrows and
anxieties, my mother was taken most dangerously ill
after the birth of their only son (Jan. 19, 1835), and for
some time her life was despaired of. Then was first laid
the foundation of that friendship with Dr. and Mrs. Elliot
of Stratford, which only terminated with my father's life.
Under God's permission, and thanks to the skill and care
of their kind friend and physician, my mother was once
more restored to comparative health. My father only
waited to see her partially recovered, and then pursuing
his plan he started for Rotterdam in the "Lord Mel-
ville," proposing to look out for some pleasant and suit-
able town on the Rhine where he could settle. My
mother was to follow with her children as soon as she
was able to bear the fatigue of travelling. At that time
such a journey was no light undertaking ; in fact, it re-
quired almost as much care and forethought as people
think necessary in these days to exert on going to Egypt
My father's voyage was a disastrous one, for the fearful
and memorable storm of the 4th and 5th of March, 1835,
came on ; when eleven vessels, including a Dutch India-
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4B MEMORIALS OF THOMAS HOOD.
man, were lost off the coast of Holland. To the mental
and bodily exhaustion which attended this danger my
father attributed much of his subsequent sufferings.
He finally fixed on Coblenz as the suitable place
for a residence, and from thence he wrote the following
letter to my mother. I have inserted it as a proof
of his tender and watchful care of her, and the affection
that considered even trifies worthy of attention when
conducing to her comfort.
Somewhere about this time, perhaps a little while
previous to his departure, the following sonnet was
written to my mother.
SONNET.
Think, sweetest, if my lids are now not wet,
The tenderest tears lie ready at the brim,
To see thine own dear eyes — so pale and (Hm —
Touching my soul with ftiU and fond regret.
For on thy ease my heart's whole care is set ;
Seeing I love thee in no passionate whim,
Whose summer dates but with the rose's trim,
Which one hot June can perish and beget, —
Ah no, I chose thee for affection's pet.
For unworn love, and constant cherishing —
To smile but to thy smile — or else to fi-et
When thou art fi*etted — rather than to sing
Elsewhere, — alas I I ought to soothe and kiss
Thy dear pale cheek, while I assure thee this !
T. Hood.
CoBi^HZ, March ISA.
At last, my own dearest and best, I sit down to write
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MEMOBULS OF THOMAS HOOD. 49
to 70a, and I fear you have been looking anxiooslj
for news from me.
In truth, I wrote a long letter at Nuneguen which
I suppressed, having nothing certain to say. I will
now tell you first that I am %afe and weU — which is
the very trvth — and then I may relate how I got on.
I had a drea^ul passage to Rotterdam: Wednesday
night was an awful storm, and Thursday morning was
worse. I was search and frightened at sea for the
first time : so you will suppose it was no trifle : in fact,
it was unusually severe. I went up at midnight and
found four men at the helm, hint enough for me, so
I went down again, and in the morning a terrific sea
tore the whole four from the helm, threw the captain
as far as the funnel (twenty paces), and the three men
after him. Had it not come direct aft, it would have
swept them into the sea, boat, skylights, and everything
in short, and have left us a complete wreck. Eleven
others miscarried that same night, near at hand, so
you may thank the cherub I told you of: but such
a storm has seldom been known. It was quite a squeak
for the Comic for 1836. But when you come the weath-
er will be settled, and such a sea comes but once in
seven years. When you see four at the helm you may
be frightened, but mind, not till then. Steam, I think,
saved us ; you ought to ofier up a golden kettle some-
where. You were given over and I was given under —
but we have both been saved, I trust, for each other,
and Heaven does not mean to part us yet. But it made
me very ill, for it was like being shaken up in a dice
box, and I have had a sort of bilious fever, with bqxa^
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50 MEMORIALS OF THOMAS HOOD.
thing of the complaint Elliot cured me of, and could not
eat, with pains in my side, &c., which I nursed myself
for as weU as I could.
I made two acquaintances on board — one gave me an
introduction to a doctor at Coblenz, whom I have not
seen ; the other gave me an introduction to his father
here, where I took tea to-night ; their name is Vertue, so
you see my morals are in good hands.
I got to Rotterdam only on Thursday night, and I sup-
ped there very merrily with the young Vertue and two
of his friends.
On Friday night I stopped at Nimeguen, which is in a
state of war, and could proceed no further till Saturday,
which night I passed aboard, and on Sunday arrived and
slept in Cologne.* Here I was detained on Monday by
* I have inserted here some lines from " Up the Rhine," which were
written to my mother from this place. — T. H.
The old Catholic city was still,
In the Minster the vespers were sung;
And, re-echoed in cadences shrill,
The last call of the trumpet had rung;
While across the broad stream of the Rhine
The full moon cast a silvery zone ;
And me thought, as I gazed on tlie shine —
" Surely that is the Eau de Cologne ! "
I inquired not the place of its source.
If it ran to the east or the west ;
But my heart took a note of its course —
That it flowed toward Her I love best: —
That it flowed toward Her I love best.
Like those wandering thoughts of my own;
And the fancy such sweetness possessed
That the Rhine seemed all £an de Cologne !
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MEMORIALS OF THOMAS HOOD. 51
the steamer having hroken a paddle, hut made myself
agreeable to an old general, Sir Parker Carrol, who took
me with him to see the lions. I gave him a bulletin to
cany to Dilke. Strange to say, the general once lived
at their house. Also made acquaintance with a Rev.
Mr. Clarke, a gentlemanly young man, and we started
on Tuesday for Coblenz, where we slept; again on
Wednesday to Mayence, slept there, and to-day he set
off for Frankfort, and I returned here. At all these
starts I have had to rise at five, and was too worn out
and weak to undertake the walking plan I had concerted
with Dilke, so I went up and down by the boat instead.
Luckily, I got better on Tuesday, and that day and
"Wednesday and to-day being fine, I enjoyed it very
much. From Cologne to Mayence is all beautiful or
magnificent ; I am sure you will enjoy it, especially if, as
T will try, I meet you at Cologne.
I want you to see the cathedral. I am going to-
morrow on foot to look among the villages ; but my im-
pression is, from what Mr. Vertue says, there will be
some difficulty in finding anything there; but at all
events there are lodgings to be had in Coblenz, whi<!h is
a place I admire much. I therefore think you might
start for Coblenz at once, without hearing further from
me, when you feel able, letting me know, of course, your
day of sailing, for in case of my getting anything at
Bingen, &c., you would have to stop here, and unless I
meet with something to my taste above, I shall make this
our fixture.
Consult Dilke. For my part, if well enough, I tliink
you may safely come on the chance, as it would take you
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52 MEMORIALS OF THOMAS HOOD.
five days : one to Botterdam, one to Nimeguen, two to
Cologne, and one to Coblenz. I am writing but a basi-
ness letter, and you must give me credit, my own dearest,
for everything else, as I wish to devote all the space I
can to describing what will be for your comfort* You
must come to Rotterdam by " Der Batavier," which has
female accommodations and a stewardess. You may tell
the steward I was nearly swamped with him in the
" Lord Melville," for he was with us, and will remember
j^ » ♦ ♦ ♦ yQ^ must expect some nuisances and
inconveniences, but they will do to laugh at when we
meet, and '^ Der Batavier " is a splendid and powerful
steamer. * ♦ » » With my dear ones by my side,
my pen will gambol through the Comic like the monkey
who had seen the world. We are not transported even
for seven years, and the Rhine is a deal better than Swan
River. I have made a great many notes. My mind
was never so free — and meaning what is right and just
to all, I feel cheerful at our prospects, and in spite of ill-
ness have kept up. This will not reach you for four or
five days, and then it would take you as much more to
come, during which I should be sure to get a place, so do
not wait to hear from me again. * * * You may
reckon, I think, upon settling at Coblenz : it is a capital
and clean town, and does justice to Dilke's recommenda*
tion. I have already begun some "Rhymes of the
Rhine," of which the first is justly dedicated to your own
self But to-night is my first leisure. I have been like
the Wandering Jew. How my thoughts and wishes fly
* At the foot of the letter he added a list of fonetic French words
that my mother would require during the journey. — T. H.
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MEMOHIALS OF THOMAS HOOD. 5$
over the vine-covered hills to meet yours ; my love seta
towards you like the mighty current of the great Rhine
itself, and will brook no impediments.
I grudge the common-place I have been obliged to
write ; every sentence should claim you, as my own dear
wife, the pride of my youth, the joy of my manhood, the
hope of all my after days. Twice has the shadow of
death come beween us, but our hearts are preserved to
throb against each other. I am content for your sake to
wait the good time when you may safely undertake the
voyage, and do not let your heart run away with your
bead. Be strong before you attempt it. Bring out with
you a copy of "Tylney Hall," which I shall want to
refer to. I want no others, but the last Comic. Jf you
are likely to be some time, treat me with one letter.
Dilke will tell you how to send it. I long to be settled
and at work ; I owe him much, and wish to do C. Lamb
while it is fresh. I hope Reynolds's spasms are gone.
They could not do better than come up the Rhine this
summer, it would not cost so much as Brighton — and
such a change of scene. I have had some adventures I
must tell you when we meet. I bought this paper all by
telegraph of a girl at Cologne. We could not speak a
wo;'d to each other, and the whole ended in a regular
laugh throughout the shop, when she picked out of the
money in my hand. Was not I in luck to meet the only*
* The increased facilities of travelling have made John Bull as much
at home on the Rhine as by the Thames. Those who know Germany
as it is, will hardly recognise it in my father's true and graphic delin-
eation of it as it was. A great deal of what he says here was repeat-
ed in "• Up the Rhine," but has still the charm of novelty to most, as
that book is unhappily out of print. — T. H.
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54 MEMORIALS OF THOMAS HOOD.
two or three English that were out, and make such
friends with them. But I really am getting a traveller,
and am getting brass, and pushing my way with them. I
forgot to say at Cohlenz the men frequent the Casinos,
and the women make evening parties of their own, but I
do not mean to give up my old domestic habits. We
shall set an example of fireside felicity, if that can be
said of a stove, for we have no grates here — the more 's
the pity. God bless you ever.
Your own,
T. H.
CoBLENz (at the Widow Sell's), 872, Castor Hof.
Mj- OWN DEAREST AND BEST LoVE,
The pen I write with — the ink it holds — the paper
it scrawls upon — the wax that will seal it — were all
bought by me a la telegraph — except that I had the as-
surance (impudence and ignorance go together) to look a
pretty young German lady in the face and ask her for
the use of her lips, not to kiss, but to translate for me,
but she couldn't. The purport of this is to tell you what
I think will give you ease and comfort — that 1 am fixed
here in a snug, cheap, airy lodging — thanks to the kind-
ness of the Vertues, who have taken great trouble for me.
Lodgings furnished are scarcely to be had here at all,
and when the Vertues came they had to stay at an inn
seven weeks. They say, and I feel, I am fortunate.
There are three little rooms, one backward, my study as
is to be, with such a lovely view over the Moselle. My
heart jumped when I saw it, and I thought, "There I
shall write volumes!" My opposite neighbour is the
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MEMOBIALS OF THOMAS HOOD. 55
Commandant, so it's' a genteel neighbourhood. To-day
I visited the Church of St. Castor, who is to be our pa^
iron Saint (vide address), and I saw a bit of his bone.
Seriously it is quite a snuggery, where I should want but
you and my dear boy and girl to be very happy and very
loving. I went up a mountain opposite yesterday even-
ing, commanding a magnificent expanse of view, but the
thought would come that you were not in all that vast
horizon. But it is splendid, and I 'm sure it is what you
would enjoy. The Vertues have been very kind. I
have just taken tea with them, and they will call to-mor-
row to see me set in. Widow Seil is a woman of prop-
erty, and always aboard her own barges, travelling up
and down the Rhine, and her daughter is here keeping
house. She seemed wonder-struck this morning, and so
was I, to reflect how we are to get on, for she knows
nothing but German ; but to-night I have delighted her
by telling her in German (which I have poked out) to
send to the hotel for my bag and cloak. She said over
and ov^r again " das is gude." I hope we shan't end in
Eloisa and Abelard. In the fulness of her approbation
the maid fairly gave me a slap on the back. You must
know servants here are great familiars. The waiters at
the inns are hail-fellows with the guests, and in truth but
for them I must have foregone discourse, for they gener-
ally speak French. I find my French reviving very
fast, and so I get on well enough.
I dine at a table d'hote, and sleep here and breakfast,
then cofiee at the inn, and no supper. You can have
your dinner sent in here, I mean for us all, very reason-
able and without trouble ; and on the first of May I can
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56 MEMORIALS OF THOMAS HOOD.
have Vertue's servant, for they are going to England.
She understands English wants, and has a high charac-
ter, so I think I have provided for you tolerably well.
Tell Dilke I am highly pleased with Coblenz, and quite
confirm his choice — it. is by far the best thing I have
seen.
I do hope you will soon be able to come, and in the
meantime I will do everything I can think of to facilitate
your progress. » ♦ ♦ I should like a set of Comics for
Vertue ; and bring with you the bound up Athenaeums,
and your own bound books. Get the steward of the
" Batavier" to see you ashore at Rotterdam, to the Hotel
des Pays Bas, and in case of any diflficulty about cus-
toms, which is very unlikely, send from the Hotel for Mr.
Vertue, jun., there. The English ladies will explain for
you, and he will lend his help, I feel sure. Let me know
exactly when you sail from London, and I will meet you
at Cologne somehow. Tell Fanny she may see soldiers
here, if she likes, all day long. They are always exer-
cising ; it seems like — "A month he lived, and that was
March!"
If she behaves well on the voyage, and minds what
you say, I will show her wonders here. To-day has
been beautiful — quite warm — and the weather looks
well set in for fine. My little room has the reputation
of being cool in summer.
I saw a vision of you, dearest, to-day, and felt you
leaning on me, and looking over the Moselle at the blue
mountains and vineyards. I long but to get to work with
you and the pigeon pair by my side, and then I shall not
sigh for the past. Only cast aside sea fears, and you will
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find joar voyage a pleasant one. Your longest spell will
be from Nimeguen to G)logne, when you must pass a
night on board, but then I shall meet you to take care of
the pair, and you will have a good night's rest Get
yourselves strong, there is still a happy future ; fix your
eyes forward on our meeting, my best and dearest Our
little home, though homely, will be happy for us, and we
do not bid England a very long good night. Good night
too, my dearest wife, my pride and comfort
" And firom these mountains where I now respire,
Fain would I waft such Blessing unto thee,
As with a sigh I deem thou now might'st be to me."
Sunday Morning.
The hens do lay in Coblenz, they are cackling rarely
under my window. I am located thus (here follows a
sketch). Dilke will understand how good the look-out is,
just at the junction of the Rhine and the Moselle ; it is
almost the corner house of Coblenz. I am charged a
trifle extra because I eat two rolls at breakfast, so you
see I improve in my habits : the Germans eat great sup-
pers and little breakfasts. *. * • For the sake of
every one I keep myself in fighting condition, and have
brought myself to look forward with a firm and cheerful
composure of mind that I hope you will share in.
The less treasure I have elsewhere, the more I feel
the value of those I have within my heart, and never
could your dear presence be more delightful and blessed
in its influence than it will be to me now. Our grapes,
though sourish now, will ripen into sweetness by the end
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of the year, and I shall work like the industrious Ger-
mans, whom you will see labouring like ants on the face
of their mountains. Tell the Reynoldses they could not
do better than take a trip here in the summer, when it
must be delightful. It cost me, illness included, but about
£10 to get here, including Mayence, and I lost something
by change in Holland. The Hotels, barring the first
rates, professing to be English ones, are moderate and
comfortable. My dear Fanny will enjoy herself here,
there is so much bustle, barges, steamers, soldiering, and
children like dwarf men and women.
Tell her I expect she will take great care of you and
her brother on the voyage, and not give you trouble.
The first thing I shall ask, when I see you, will be if she
has been good, and if, so I will take her with you to see
the cathedral at Cologne, which with its painted glass,
&c., will be to her like fairy land. * * * * You
must bring blocks enough with you for the whole Comic,
or more than that will be better, as I may do the Ep-
som or something else. Bring a good stock. * ♦ * *
Woodin would stare to see calves here, going to slaughter,
seven days old, attended by dogs bigger than themselves.
I hear that the Ostend steamers got well knocked
about in our storm, and had some men washed over-
board ; — my head still reels occasionally, and the stairs
seem to rock, so you may judge what it was — the very
worst for many years. The " Batavier " is an excellent
boat ; have porter on board her, as you will get none
after Rotterdam ; up the Rhine take Cognac and water,
not the sour wine. "Wrap yourself well up, and when
the bustle of departure is over you may be very corn-
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fortable, but up to Cologne there is little worth seeing,
except the towns, such as Dusseldorf. From Cologne to
Coblenz is superb, and I shall enjoy it with you ; but
mind, be sure to come when you appoint, as I cannot
stay long at Cologne.
Write to me " Poste Eestante k Coblenz," as I go to
the post-office every day to inquire, like Monsieur Mallet.
You would be quite in the fashion here with a silk bonnet,
and one of those cloaks with a deep cape to the elbows
of plain or figured silk, or stuff, such as I saw about the
streets of London before I left. It is very quiet here,
except when Mrs. Commandant gives a party opposite,
when there are carriages. You get a glimpse of the
Bhine in front — you must not expect carpets here, and
you will have stoves instead of grates, these are univer-
sal. By the bye Mrs. Dilke told me to have my linen
well aired, I suspect it was only her ignorance, and that
she had taken what is up in all the packets ^^Dampschiffe "
for damp shirts. It signifies steamboats, — not an unnat-
ural mistake. Bring me a set of Comics for my own
use, your bound ones will do — Flanders brick of course
— and my desk with all my papers in it That box that
was the tool chest, with handles, would be very useful
for sending over all the Comic blocks in. • ♦ ♦ My
young landlady has paid me a smiling visit this morning,
and we have had a little conversation in German and
English, which neither of us understood. St. Castor has
just dismissed his congregation in various grotesque gate-
ties ; the most distinguished feature was a violet and pink
shot-silk umbrella. I have also had a visit this morning
from a strange young gentleman, but for want of the gift
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60 MEMORIALS OF THOMAS HOOD.
of tongues he took nothing by his motion. I am in fact
a sort of new Irving, with the girl here for a proselyte ;
she will hold forth, understood or not Yesterday I gave
two groschen to two little girls like Fanny, on the top of
the mountain. They went apart, and ader a consultation,
one dispatched the other to present to me, I guess, an
address of thanks, or to ask for more, I don't know
which, but I think the former. I found on the same
eminence a good honest fellow, very civil for nothing, and
a good Christian no doubt, although like Satan he thence
pointed out to ine all the kingdoms of the earth.
Whenever my eyes leave the paper they see the Mo-
selle still gliding on, and my own verses* occur to me
with a powerful application of them to you, and my chil-
dren all beyond the bluest of the blue hills. I shall give
you good measure, and shall cross this letter, though I do
not pretend yet to write letters worth reading, for my
head is still confused, and I am but just settled down.
Otherwise I have made many notes and memorandums,
which I need not write either to you, who willJE hope see
the things referred to. The Vertues have called, and
kept me beyond my time. They have begged me to
make their house my home, and are very obliging. To-
day being Sunday we dined in state, with a band playing,
and I indulged in a glass of wine in which I drank your
health. I have just bought with much trouble an in-
stantaneous light to seal this letter with. I am become
quite a citizen of the world, I talk to every one in Eng-
lish, broken French, and bad German, and have the
vanity to think I make friends wherever I go.
♦ " Still glides the gentle streamlet on." — T. H.
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HEMOBIALS OF THOMAS HOOD. 61
Tell Dilke this, it will please him. Say to John I
shall write him a long letter as soon as I hear from
London, and also to Dilke* I have seen to-day the whole
troops on the parade, governors, demi-governors, &c.
Their bands do not equal ours, some of our drums would
beat them hoUotOj and they have no good horses. * » ♦
May God have all those I love, or who love me, in His
Holy keeping, is the prayer of the subscribed,
Thomas Hood.
In accordance with the arrangements laid down by my
father, my mother, accompanied by my brother and my-
self, went on board the " Batavier " on the 29th of March,
1835, and were joined by my father at Cologne. From
thence we proceeded to Coblenz. I have inserted the
following letter from my mother, as it describes better
than I could do their first settling in their new home.
Her descriptions also of what she saw are so evidently
influenced and aided by my father's observations, that
they are almost as interesting as his own.
872f Castor Hof, Coblenz, 22nd June, 1886.
Mt dear Mrs. Elliot,
* * * ♦ I ^ag fortunate in my voyage here in
having fair weather, and also in ha^ng the ladies' cabin
of the " Batavier " to myself, with the exception of a
young lady about fifteen, who was coming to a Moravian
School at one of the villages on the Rhine. The stew-
ardess too was a very respectable woman, and very
attentive. We got to Rotterdam about six on Monday
evening, and then some of my troubles began. We were
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62 MEMORIALS OF THOMAS HOOD.
to set off by the Rhine steamer at six the next morning,
and I desired them to call me at five; but the stupid
chambermaid came and knocked at my door at twelve.
I did not find out the mistake until I had with difficulty
roused Fanny from her bed, and got her dressed. From
being disturbed, when six came the poor child was so
sick and ill, I was obliged to have her carried down to
the steamboat. From Rotterdam to Cologne is very
flat and uninteresting, and a very slow passage, as it is
against the stream. We passed the night on board,
which I should not have minded except for the children.
I got some beds made up for them in the cabin, and
thought they would be tolerably comfortable. But at
nine we stopped and took on board a company of Prus-
sian soldiers, with about twenty officers, who all came
clattering into the cabin which was not very large, and
the tables were spread for their suppers. After they had
done eating, they played cards till' three in the morriing,
when most' of them were put ashore at Dilsseldorf. We
were to have arrived at Cologne at 12 o'clock, but to
accommodate the Prussian officers, our steam was made
to boil a gallop and we arrived at 10 a.m. So that I got
to the Hdtel du Rhin before Hood, who was killing time
on the parade. When he arrived I scarcely knew him,
he looked so very ill. He made me stay a day here to
refresh, which I very much needed ; for my poor baby
suffered much for want of his Usual comforts, and I felt
the fatigue with the children very much. Our stay
allowed us to see the curiosities of Cologne which are
well worth seeing ; the Cathedral more especially . at
the least so much as is finished of it, for it never will be
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MEMORIALS OF THOMAS HOOD. 68
completed unless the old daya of Roman Catholic power
and glory should return. The interior for lightness and
elegance is perfectly exquisite. Hood s^s if the Loretto
Angel had to carry away a Cathedral, he would choose
that of Cologne. We saw all its wonders and relics, its
golden shrine, inlaid with cameos and gems, and delicate
mosaic ; though some of the jewels by a dishonest miracle
are converted into coloured glass. We saw the crowns
of the Three Wise Kings, and also some admirable sculp-
tures in ivory. I must not forget to mention the painted
windows, which are splendid, and the tapestries in the
choir from the designs of Rubens, which are quite in the
style of the Cartoons. There is also a curious picture,
very old indeed, of the Three Kings adoring the Virgin -
and Child — in parts recalling Rafiaelle to my mind. In
the old church of St. Peter, where Rubens was baptized,
we saw one of his masterpieces — the martyrd<Mn of the
patron saint — they make you stoop and look at it, with
your head downwards (like the figure of the martyr) to
show the expression of the face, which' is truly marvel-
lous. From the church — what a next step ! — we went
to the masquerade room, which is of vast dimensions,
supported by a range of pillars in the middle, in the
shape of gigantic champagne glasses, out of which seem
to issue a quantity of painted masquerade figures nearly
covering the ceiling. The idea is better than the execu-
tion. German wit and humour, Hood says, are like
yeast dumplings a day old.
Cologne itself is a rambling place full of crooked nar-
row streets, where you may lose yourself without much
trouble. When Hood was there by himself he says he
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64 MEMORIALS OF THOMAS HOOD.
never went out but he was obliged to get a boy to show
him home again. I wish I could praise its atmosphere
— but as Heat^says in the " Bubbles," the Eau de Co-
logne seems to extract all pleasant perfume from its air.
"We started by steamer for Cobletiz at seven on Saturday
morning, and soon afler, near Bonn, the fine scenery of
the Rhine began to open with the towering Drachenfels
and the seven mountains. The abrupt transition from
flat uninteresting country to the mountainous and pictui^
esque is striking and singular ; for from this point nearly
to Mayence, it is on both sides of the river high and
varied in its features. The villages are very quaint and
pretty, and almost as numerous as mile-stones. As it
was the planting season, we saw the industrious peas-
antry working like ants among their vines on the face of
the mountains ; so small and yet so distinct as to remind
one of the elfins and gnomes of German romance.
We arrived at Coblenz about six, and really the place
justifies our friend's recommendation. The houses are
good, the streets wide, airy, and clean, with here and
there a bit of pavement in the English style, which I
always found attracted my weary feet as if it had been
a loadstone. The walking in Cologne was very rough,
Hood calls it a stone storm, and says if a certain place is
paved with good intentions, Cologne must have been
paved with the bad ones. The very horses are compelled
to wear high-heeled shoes to prevent slipping.
As for Hood, he was in a wretched state of health, he
had been sadly overdone before he led England, and the
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MEMOEIALS OF THOMAS HOOD. 65
Storm he was out in completed the mischief, otherwise he
is fond of and used to the sea ; but they were very nearly
lost, eleven other vessels were wrecked the same night,
in the same storm, in or near the mouth of the Maes.
Hood got wgrse day by day, but we could not prevail
on him to have advice, though Mr. Yertue strongly rec-
ommended Dr. B who had attended his family while
they were here. At last we were compelled to call him
in, for Hood was seized with most frightful spasms in the
chest. I cannot express how wretched, and terrified I
was, for he said himself it was like being struck with
death. His countenance was sunk and his eyes too. He
was seized first at night, and Dr. B remained with
him for two hours, and then left him somewhat easier,
but the pain lasted, at intervals, all night, and left him
next day as weak as a child. After this he had many
similar attacks, but slighter ones. I wanted faith in our
physician, but of course did not say so ; their practice is
so different to the English, they won't hear of calomel.
However Dr. B certainly brought Hood round, and
for the last fortnight he has got on rapidly, for which I
cannot be too thankful. Dr. B recommends his
going to Ems,' for a little change, but he is too busy to'
spare time for it.
We are now very comfortably settled, we have a little
kitchen, about three yards square, and Gradle our ser-
vant, with my superintendence, manages the cooking
pretty well. I have actually been successftd in a beef
steak pudding, and an Irish stew, and we have given up
our "portions" and the table d'hote. Lodging and
washing are dear here, the latter as much so as in £ng-
K
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66 MEMOBIALS OF THOMAS HOOD.
land, but food is cheap; mutton 3 groschen a pound,
about three pence halfpenny. Beef and veal the same,
but the latter is wretched, so young and so small ; vege-
tables and fruit very cheap. The cherries are abundant,
there is a walk out of one of the gates that is nearly a
mile long, I should think, with cherry-trees all the way
on each side, loaded with fruit ; when in blossom it was
a lovely sight. Grapes are of course very plentiful, and
walnut-trees are planted everywhere : all the furniture is
made of walnut wood, and very pretty it is. There is a
walk here of rose-trees, the most beautiful you can im-
agine. They are standards, the stems nearly two yards
high, of every kind and variety, all loaded with bloom.
There is a triple row of about two hundred yards, it is
the prettiest sight I ever saw. Mr. Maiden would be
delighted with the cactus tribe here ; they are splendid,
four or five feet high, rich with bloom : the Cereus too
are equally fine, they train them up spirally, and the
effect is better than when they fall over the pot. The
flowers of some of the cacti are of a rich peculiar crim-
son I have never seen before. The walks round Cob-
lenz are so lovely that we have overdone ourselves, and
have been obliged to stay at home for a day or two to
recover. The moment you pass the gates of the town
in any direction you are in a garden of Eden; op-
ohards, cornfields, vineyards, villages, mountains crested
with ruined castles, and through all flows the rapid,
"arrowy Rhine," now almost of a sea-green colour —
the blue Moselle runs into it just within view o^ the
back of our house. Before I was well enough to walk
much. Hood inveigled me up the twin height to Ehren-
breitstein.
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MEMOBIALS OF THOMAS HOOD. 67
" Ah, who can tell how hard it is to climb I **
He would not allow me to look behind, and I cou'*l see
nothing before me but a fresh ascent at every turn, so I
panted up to the top like the asthma personified. But
the panoramic view well repaid me, I cannot describe it,
for I never saw anything like it before. You see across
the Bhine down into Coblenz, which lies under you like
a map. Round the city is a fertile plain, as diversified
in colour as a patchwork quilt, bounded by the distant
mountains ; you see snatches of the Moselle, and higher
up the Rhine is divided by an island with what was a
nunnery upon it. Only George Robins could describe
all the other features, and for once he could not embel-
lish. How I wish — to use a common expression — you
could " enter into my views." To pass from nature to
art, Hood took me into the Jesuit's church here, predict-
ing that I should be half converted to Catholicism, and v
so, between you and me, was the case, for the altar-
piece, screen, pulpit, &c., with all the apostles and angels,
and the figures, appear to be of fine Dresden china,
which you know all ladies have a great affection for.
Fanny too has a bias to Popery, I think, there are so
many processions, and children with fiags, little girls in
white with wreaths of white roses and valley lilies, and
baskets of flowers. In short all she would enjoy at a
London theatre with the advantage of freshness and the
open air. Last Thursday was Corpus Christi day, and
the host was carried in great state and pomp. They
erected an altar over a public conduit at the end of our
street, the said conduit having been prematurely erected
by the French as a trophy of their coming triumph over
the Russians. It is most laughingly inscribed.
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eS MEMORIALS OF THOMAS HOOD.
^ Memorable par la Campagne contre les Basses, sous la
Prefecture de Jules Douzan. Anno 1812.
" Yu et approuv^ par nous, Commandant Kusse de la
ville de Coblenz le ler Janvier, 1814."
So much for the foreign department, and now for
the Homel You will be glad to hear the children
have thriven recently to my heart's content Fanny
is very well and happy, my baby is a healthy little
creature, and so "bronzy"* with brown and red, his
Papa declares that at our first party he shall hold a
wax-candle. He is as fat and hard as a German sau-
sage, and so merry you would pick him out, as Dr.
Kitchener recommends you to choose lobsters, namely,
as "heavy and lively." N. B. Paternal vanity is an-
swerable for the last sentence.
The coffee here is really a sort of evening brown
stout It is roasted, or as they say here "burned" at
home; and whatever be the cause, it is so different
a beverage that Hood says he suspects with Accum
that the English coffee is made from horse-beans. Tea
is bad, and dear here. You may judge how good the
coffee must be when I say that I do not regret itj
besides the leaves are not in request here as there
are no carpets. Hood says amongst the " Bridgewater
4f This is an aUoflion to two handsome bronze figures of children
reading, mounted as candlesticks, which used to stand on the draw-
ing-room mantel-piece, and were heir-looms familiar to all his friends,
so that t^ joke was a domestic one. — T. H.
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MEMOBIALS OF THOMAS HOOD. 69
Treatises," they might have instanced this as a mani-
festation of a Providence.
I have heard of German cousins, but I am sure we
are not relations, or we should be more upon speaking
terms.
^ We are only on talking terms with the Butchery an
Angh-Pruiiian officer, and the Doctor (aU in the killing
line), but Hood manages to get on with a little bad
French, which, as he lived at Wanstead, he very probably
picked up at ' Stratford atte Bow,' notorious, as Chaucer
declares, for such a jargon. Ml our dinners are ordered
per dictionary, but we still get onions sometimes for tur^
nips, and radishes for carrots. It sounds farcical, but
it *8 true, that^ I sent for a fowl for my dear invaluable
invalid (I mean Hood), and the servant brought back
two bundles of goose-quills T'
I need not make any remark on the foregoing sentence
which has been written in my. absence, but I must con-
firm the feathery fact.
My baby has been vaccinated here according to law,
as we should have been fined for omitting it; though
where the original cow-pock comes from is a mystery, as
well as the milk, for you never see a cow but once on
a time in a cart : and good reason why, as peas, beans,
corn, and clover run all into one, without hedges or fence
of any kind.
jS surprises me that we get sweet milk, the Germans
have such a turn for everything sour. The wine is sour,
they preserve plums in vinegar, the very spring water at
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70 MEMORIALS OF THOMAS HOOD.
Ehrenhreitstein is acid, and called Sour Water/ How^
every as a set-off, they pickle their wcdnHUs with sugar and
cloves. But the vinegar made of Hock or MoseUe is su-
perb, almost a wine of itself. lam pickling some cucum-
bers that I expect will be superlative.
That is Hood's again, for my letter is written by
snatches as "my occupation isn't gone" like Othello's,
but come. Fortunately my baby is fond of Gradle, and
will go to her, which relieves my fatigue.
" I should have said, carries off a good deal of my Fat
Teague!"*
Hood ojgain! I will not quit this letter again till I
have finished it, he has " interpret himself so."
Our greatest present annoyance is, that if we poke out
a short sentence of broken German, they give us such
credit for our progress that they fancy we can return a
whole volley of paragraphs. I regret very much that I
cannot converse with one of our landlady's daughters,
she has such a sweet voice, so pretty a face, that Hood
is quite in love with her, but fortunately he can't declare
himself. Female beauty, or even prettiness, is a rarity
at Coblenz. A miller's daughter, a mile off is th^ para«
gon. Hood calls her the " Flour ; " they say she is well
educated too. I mean, if possible, to walk out and see
her ; strange to say, she is still single.
^Joe Miller says, because there are two darns to ask
instead of one ! "
"We heard of her through a young English ofiicer in
the Prussian service here. He introduced himself to us,
during our evening walk, being attracted by our King's
English, and we were equally by his, as well as by his
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MEMORIALS OF THOMAS HOOD. 71
•
dog, which seemed home made ; for you must know the
Coblenz dogs are remarkably ugly and naturally like
foxes, but after the first warm summer day, they were
all converted by clipping the hinder parts into mock
lions. He seemed determined to know us. First he
told Fanny, who was not at all timid, to have no fear of
his dog, who was not at all ferocious. As that failed to
lead to an introduction, he walked back after us, and in-
troduced himself. In truth we were equally glad to give
him change for his English, which he declared he had by
him till it had become burdensome. He has since called :
he has been fourteen years in the Prussian service, but
his heart seems to yearn after England and his family ;
his mother is an Englishwoman. He is a very nice, un-
assuming young man ; as he is stationed at Ehrenbreit-
stein he has offered some day to help us to scale that
impregnable fortress. •
The English are beginning to come here now, last
night's steamboat brought a number ; the general opinion
is that they will not swarm here, as they have done.
Head's " Bubbles " sent a great number, but having once
been they do not come again. It is said, that for the last
two years their coming raised the price of everything
fifty per cent. A war would break half the banks of
the Rhine, — at least the magnificent hotels on them.
Should you by any chance think of visiting the great river,
we will send you all information — such as the professed
guides do not condescend to give — for instance, if you
wish for a clean face and hands, to carry a cake of soap,
which you will not find in the best Inn's best bedrooms.
♦ ♦ ♦ ♦
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72 MEMOBIALS OF THOMAS HOOD.
While Hood was ill I felt very depressed and out of
spirits, of course my own weak health rendered me but
a poor nurse to him. I thought there was no end to my
troubles, and felt as Rosalind says, " how full of briars is
this work-a-day world." But I am now in much better
spirits, and we get on better altogether. The comforts
the English miss are not very portable, or they might
bring them out, for instance, — a four-post bed, a Rum-
ford stove, a kitchen range, and a carpet But use recon-
ciles, we almost feel native, and *' to the manner bom," so
don't pity us, for we don't pity ourselves.
Hood bids me describe a scene with Miss Seil, the
landlady's daughter. I wanted some egg-cups, and in
illustration I showed her the eggs, and she guessed so
near that she snatched up a saucer and broke the egg
into it, evidently wondering in her eg-otism that having
eggs we did not know where to lay 'em. When I shook
my head, she looked at me in despair, and seemed to say,
* What a pity that broken German and broken English
should break good eggs ! ' Talking of eggs, you find
them in the market of the gayest colours; and Hood
says, *Twigg would wonder what coloured hens they
are that lay them.' I took the purple ones for egg-
plums. They have apples now of last year's growth, and
bring them to market, and put them in water to plump
them out ; and I can believe Head's story of the tailor
eating a washhand-basin full of fresh Orleans plums,
after seeing the countrymen eat the apples only half un^
wizened out of the tub. The potatoes are small, and
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MEMORIALS OF THOMAS HOOD. 7$
Hood says he was nearly choked by some sliced up and
£ried, as he found afterwards, in the same pan which had
cooked some bony Prussian carp the day before.
The foregoing letter presents a fair specimen, here and
there, of the dictations and suggestions, but more espe-
cially of the interpolations and additions, with which my
father delighted to embellish my mother's letters. When-
ever she left a half-finished letter anywhere in his reach,
she was sure, on her return, to find " notes and queries "
inserted, often much opposed to her original meaning,
and frequently tending to the utter mystification of the
recipient of the letter. Her handwriting was, although
legible, rather peculiar, and he delighted in making it
more so, — altering o's and a's, and changing t's into d's,
to the utter confusion of her meaning. On one occasion
this led to an absurd mistake. She had written to a
friend to procure her some good Berlin patterns for slip-
pers, &c. ; but during her absence, my father got hold of
her note, and, in his favourite fashion, altered and touched
up the words. Some time after, she received a reply
from her friend, asking what new English article it could
be that was dignified by the name of " dippers I "
From the time of their arrival at Coblenz, my father's
health continued very bad ; and the necessity for constant
work still continuing, there was little chance of amend-
ments Still his happy flow of spirits never failed him,
as may be seen by his letters.
The first summer of my father's residence at Coblenz
was pleasantly varied by his making acquaintance, as
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74 MEMORIALS OF THOMAS HOOD.
mentioned bj my mother, with a young Prussian officer,
M. de Franck. After their meeting during a walk by
the Rhine, my father wrote him the following note : —
Sib,
I regret that I had not a card about me to offer to you
in acknowledgment of a rencontre so agreeable. I beg
leave to enclose one, lest you should suppose me infected
with that national shyness, which makes foreigners so apt
to consider us as a grand corps de reserve.
I have t^e honour to be, Sir,
Yours obediently,
Thomas Hood.
LiETTENAirr DB Franck,
19th Polish Regiment, Ehrenbreitstein.
My father found in M. de Franck a very pleasant and
agreeable fi:iend, and a great help in all difficulties of
German usage and language. He was his constant <x>m-
panion in all his fishing rambles and excursions, and used
to drop in, in a quiet friendly way, of an evening, and
play cribbage with my father and mother. They made
the merriest and cosiest little party imaginable, generally
finishing with some dainty treat of English cookery for
supper. During my mother's enforced absences to su-
perintend the cooking of these little edibles, the "two
knaves " took the opportunity of changing her cards, mov-
ing her pegs, &c., secretly delighted at her puzzles and
wonderings on her return. On these occasions my father
generally kept them in a continual laugh by his flow of
witty anecdotes and jokes.
The following is a letter to Mr. Dilke, the then editor
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KEKORIALS OF THOMAS HOOD. 75
of the '^ Athenseuin/' and one of. my father^s earliest
friends : —
CoBLXifZ, May Sth, 1886.
My deab Dilkb,
You ought to have heard from me before, but I was loth
to inflict upon you bad news in return for your very kind
letter, for every syllable of which I thank you, and in-
stead of quarrelling with what you have said, I thank
you for the meaning beyond. The truth is I have been
unchanged from the hour I left you, my mind has not
faltered for an instant, but though the spirit is wOling^
the body is weak. My health broke down under me at
last, after a series of physical, as well as mental trials,
and I am not a-Gog corporeally, witness my experiments
in your nightrgowns. "Tylney Hall," the "Comic,"
Jane's illness, and the extreme exhaustion consequent
thereon, disappointment, storm and travel, came a pick-a^
back, and I am not a Belzoni to carry a dozen on each
calf, two on my head, &c. I broke down — not but that
I fought the good fight, like a "Widdrington, with a good
heart, but I was shorn of my physical powers. The
storm was a severe one. What pitched over^ literally,
stout mahogany tables, where eight or ten may dine,
might derange any one; and the change of climate,
which is really considerable (we had hotter suns in
March than in England during May), had its effect.
The safe arrival of Jane with my darlings, all better than
I had hoped for, did me a world of good. ♦ ♦ ♦ ♦
I assure you sincerely as to my personal feelings, with
a decent state of health I could be very happy and con-
tented ; the presence of a very few friends would make
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76 liEMOfilALS 07 THOMAS HOOD.
my comfort complete. But I now suffer mentally, because
my health will not keep pace with me. I have at last re
luctantly called in medical aid ; the whole system here
seems based on Sangrado's practice, bleeding, blistering,
and drastics. I had the prudence to mitigate his prescrip-
tions, which in the proportion of two-thirds almost made
me faint away. They do not recognise our practice here,
or I could doctor myself. But according to Sir FT Head
in " The Brunnens," Grermans require horse medicines.
I think I never in my life felt such a prostration of physi-
cal power, I can hardly get up a laugh, and am quite out
of humour with myself. If I were Dick Curtis I could
give myself a good licking, I mean my body, for not
being more true to me. The ^ Atheuseum " has been a
great delight to me — it costs me here only two groschen,
about two pence. Is it not singular that a fortnight ago,
as the ordy exception to the rule, it ^st me four or five
groschen. I understand that throughout the Bhine, every-
thing within the last two years has risen nearly fifly per
cent from the great influx of English. Notwithstanding
this, many of the necessaries are very good and cheap,
butter, bread, &c. I am going to make a calculation
whether home cookery will not be the cheapest, though
we have hitherto dined at the hdtel, pour voir le monde,
I have bought some brandy here very good, though it is
rather scarce, bottles included 2<. 6^^ each, and some
Oberwesel wine, something between Hock and Moselle,
1«. a bottle. I have got Jane some bottled Bavarian
beer, which is very good. Butter is %d, per pound, three
rolls Id,^ and eggs about 2^, a dozen.
I was going to resume this, but was prevented by what
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soldiers call a night^tack. On going to bed I was seized
with violent spasms in the chest, which after some time
compelled me to send for the Dr. at midnight. I could
only breathe when bolt upright, and rarely then at the
expense of intense pain ; I thought every breath would
be the last. My Dr. certainly does me good, and, though
a Jew, does not repeat his visits unnecessarily, but ^ waits
till called for;" he talks a little English, and as Pope
says I feel assured, "a little learning is a dangerous
thing."
Jane said to him, ^ I wish you could give to Mr. Hood
some strengthening medicine;*' to which he replied,
"Who is that physician you speak of?" But a more
whimsical mistake arose out of my lay-up, which I must
give you dramatically. Our servant knows a few words
of English too, her name is Gradle^ the short for Marga-
ret Jane wanted a fowl to boil for me. Now she has a
theory that the more she makes her English un-English,
the more it must be like Grerman. Jane begins by show-
ing Gradle a word in the dictionary.
Gradle. "Jal yees — huhn — henne — jal yees."
Jane (a little through her nose). "Hmn — hum —
hem — yes — yaw, ken you geet a fowl — fool — foal, to
boil — bile — bole for dinner ? "
Gradle. "Hotwasser?"
Jane. "Yaw in pit — pat — pot — hmn — hum —
eh I"
Gradle (a, little off the scent again). "Ja, nein —
wasser, pot-^ — hot — nein."
Jane. " Yes — no — good to eeat — chicken — cheek-
en — checking — choking — bird — bard — beard — lays
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78 MEMOBIALS OF THOMAS HOOD.
®oS^ — ceggs — hune, heine — bin — make cheekin brotli
— soup — poultry — peltry — paltry ! "
Gradle (quite at faujt). " Pfeltrighcbtch ! — nein." .
Jane (in despair). ''What shall I do! and Hood
won't help xne, he only laughs. This comes of leaving
England ! " (She casts her eyes across the street at the
Governor's poultry-yard, and a bright though^ strikes
her.) ^ Here, Gradle — come here — comb hair — hmn
— hum — look there — dare — you see things walking
— hmn, hum, wacking about — things with feathers —
fathers — feethers."
Gradle (hitting it off again). " Feethers — faders —
ah hah! fedders — ja, ja, yees, sie bringen — fedders,
ja,ja!"
Jane echoes " Fedders — yes — yaw, yaw ! "
Exit Gradle, and after three-quarters of an hour, re-
turns triumphantly with two bundles of stationer's
quills ! ! ! This is a fact, and will do for Twig.
♦ * ♦ * I will now write as well as I can a
description, which may serve to extract for the " Athe-
naeum." The bound volumes were, though only a Dilke-
send, like a God-send. You cannot think how well they
read here, where there is nothing else to read. There's
a compliment for you, worthy of our Irishman. On the
first of May here, when I was wondering what would
replace the rownrfelays of the London sweeps, the defi-
ciency was kindly supplied by a whirlwind, which made
a great many sundries dance in its vortex. I was gaz-
ing from the window of the Belle Vue Hdtel opposite
the bridge, when my attention was excited by a great
doud of German dust, waltzing afler the German fash-
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MEMOBIALS OF THOMAS HOOD. 79
'ion, to the great embarrassment of some untaught crows
or rooks, who we?fe flapping about quite bewildered in its
mazes. It came from the direction where the Moselle
mingles with the Rhine. The dust cleared off in about
a minute, and the whirlwind itself became distinctly
visible, travelling diagonally across the Bhine, at a
leisurely pace, and showing to great advantage against
the rock of Ehrenbreitstein, at that time bright with a
gleam of sun, and strongly brought out by a mass of ink-
black clouds; of a grey colour — slender, of equal width
throughout — bellying before the wind, with a curve
equal to that of the longest kite-string, and moreover
towards the top, serpentining in three or four undulations,
as if from various currents of air. The phenomenon
presented the appearance of a narrow but long ribbon
let down from the clouds. It apparently rose to a great
height — I should guess a mile — and terminated above
in a sort of ragged funnel of scarcely twice the diame-
ter of the tube. I could not detect any circular motion ;
in fact, I repeat, it looked like a ribbon. On reaching
the opposite side of the river it raised a surge on the
bank, as well as a wash of linen which lay there, and
which, after a few pirouettes, disappeared — of course it
got a good wringing. I have since learned that it also
made free with some skins from the leather manufactory
situated near the Moselle, and carried them almost to
Ems — I suppose to be cured. The whirlwind itself
disappeared between Ehrenbreitstein and its neighbour-
ing height, following apparently the road to the baths, as
if to get rid of its dust.
But mark the truth of the proverb ^' one good turn
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80 MEMORIALS OF THOMAS HOOD.
deserves anofher/' the first had scarcely yanished, when
looking upwards, I discerned overhead a second, but
parallel with the earth, in the shape of a long black
cloud, slowlj revolving, and pointing in the direction
which its predecessor had travelled over. It had the
wind, as the sailors saj, right fore and aft, and was some-
what shorter and lustier than the vertical one, ending ob-
tusely towards the wind ; but at the other, terminating in
a long fine point ! I could not help exclaiming as I saw
it, ** there's a screw loose in the sky I " for which even the
Germans who knew English were little the wiser.
In expectation of seeing you this summer I have
made a rough sketch of the thing, however incompetent,
for a whirlwind especially demands a Turner.
My illness has been a sad hindrance to me in the
" Comic," as to the executive, but I have collected some
materials. I think I can hit off a few sketches like
Head's as to the , Germans. I have seen many funny
things here.
Jane is evidently much better, and has walked up the
hill to Ehrenbreitstein ; and the children, thank God,
thrive apace. The baby, Tom junior, has been vacci-
nated according to law here ; he gets on well and is very
good, giving as little trouble as a baby can. Fanny sel-
dom walks out but with some little Germans walking
parallel before and after, and wondering at her to her
great amusement She is quite a model here, for
" strange yet true it is," aU the children here are bandy-
legged! You never saw such a set of legs as go to
school daily down our street. But the people here are
very stupid; mere animals ; they take no interest in
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MEMORIALS OF THOMAS HOOD. 81
Science, Literature, Politics, or anything I can find, bat
eating and drinking.
The " Athenaeum," which I one day read at the table
d'hdte before dinner, has I fear stamped me a pedant.
Pray did you ever taste •* Mai Drank " or May Drink ;
if not, you have a pleasure to come. I look forward to
your advent with great joy, and hope some of you at
least may come. For my own part, if God would but
grant me a stomach, I have heart enough to stay here a
couple of years. I only want health and strength. But
those will come and the rest with them.
Thanks to Dr. B , who acted as dragoman or in-
terpreter, Jane has got her fowls at last ! Only an old
woman brought them alive and crowing ! It so happened
that to-day two hens have appeared for the first time, and
the moment Jane saw them she thought we were still at
fault, and that we were supposed to want to keep fowls.
But the real ones have come home at last, dead and
plucked, and we have hopes of pne to-morrow, having
been three days in getting it
Oh I how I wish I wrote for A. K. Newman, and
lived near Leadenhall Market! Mon perruque! how
we are to get it boiled is a mystery yet unsolved. I
guess Jane or I must just parboil ourselves by way of
making signs. I only wonder, in my illness, when Jane
sent for a doctor, Gradle did not bring me a bootmaker !
But as Jane says, ^ there is a cherub up alofl-for us."
I dined to-day on bread and Swiss cheese. I have no
appetite, and German cookery is "rank — it smells to
heaven ! " Salt fish they wash till it is fresh, and what
Is fresh they just make sour enough for you to think it is
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82 MEHOBIALS OF THOMAS HOOD.
turned. What ought to be sour — pickled wabints —
are sweet, tasting of cloves, — you never know where
to have 'em I
There are but few roofs in England under which
mj thoughts find a pleasant resting-place. So Coblenz
would be a sort of Noah's Ark to me, but for the olive
branch at 9, Lower Grosvenor Place. Jane sends her
love to Mrs. Dilke and will write bj the next post.
News is scarce here both ways. A raft the other day
carried away part of the bridge about half a mile ; and
though the Rhine is not so rapid now, they were about
forty hours getting it back again ! No great credit to
their mechanical powers. God bless you all, if the ben-
ediction from an Anti-Agnewite be worth having. Kind
regards to all friends. Kogers's Reminiscences to every
one who cares to remember,
My dear Dilke,
Yours ever faithfully,
T. Hood
l»(h May, 1885.
Mt deab Dilke,
I did not expect to write to you again so soon, but
having to send the above, I do so.
I have had a fresh attack of the spasms, — scarcely
so severe as the first, but longer ; they have left me so
weak I can hardly walk. But the weather is favoura-
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MEMORIALS OF THOMAS HOOD. 83
ble, and I trj to get otit, and take exercise and fight it
off. The worst is over I think now, but it has been a
sad hindrance to me. Next month we are going to alter
our arrangements, and dine at home; with our own
kitchen, &c., it will be much better and cheaper, and
these one o'clock table d'hdte dinners cut up mj morn-
ings terribly. Thank God! Jane appears to get on in
her health as well as her fatigues will let her, and
Fanny is hearty and happy. But the babe is necessarily
poorly from vaccination — he thrives otherwise famously.
The air here seems very good and pure, and the coun-
try is beautiful now with the spring greens. We have
heard the nightingale once, singing beautifully. Neither
the Rhine nor Moselle, however, is very blue yet, —
mud-colour rather, we have had so much wind and wet ;
but the " arrowy river " is fine anyway ; what a rush it
makes, as if there were something very good at the end
of its course : here I could morahse, but I won't. I
am washy and spiritless, and should degenerate into
twaddle.
The "Athenaeum," by special request, when I have
done with it, goes to the Hotel, for the benefit of the
English who come there. They are not numerous yet,
but must be coming, when they do come, in shoals. I
was diverted with one young fellow who came up to go
to some clerkship at Mayence, a true Cockney. He
thought his " dampschiffe " billet was a passport, so left
the latter at Cologne, and came on here. He got me to
explain the money to him, and after all was done, ex-
claimed in a real Bow-bell voice: "Well, arter ad,
there's no place like Lonnon!"
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34 MEMORIALS OF THOMAS HOOD.
I also met at a shop here with a Parisian cockney — •
of whom I shall make a sketch k la Sterne — a cobbler's
^oj ! He told me he came from Paris several times ;
isked me whence I came, — "from London." "Ah,
Monsieur, est-il pres de Paris ? "
Praj tell Mrs. Dilke one of the last little table dis-
plays I have seen here. At the table d'hdte, the English
are fond of copying foreign customs and manners. Firat
pull out the crumb of your roll, about half of which roll
up, and work between your fingers (if snuffy the better)
into little balls as big as marbles. They will not look
exactly like Wordsworth's "White Dough," but rather
dirty putty. When you have used your quill toothpick,
stick it up, bolt upright, in one of these dirty balls, a
little flattened beneath, as you may have seen candles
stuck in extempore clay candlesticks at an illumination.
Should it (the toothpick) want cleaning, furbish it up
with one of the other dirty bread balls ; then it will be
ready for further use I This I should think a very polite
piece of manners, for I had it from a gentleman who
wears a black velvet great coat and a ribbon at his
button-hole, and who evidently does not think small beer
of himself, or vin ordinaire, as I ought to say here.
Mind, don't extract this in the " Athenaeum " or 'twill be
recognised. It is dangerous writing to the editor of a
paper so in want of original extracts! Shall I write
you weekly a foreign letter here, as your correspondent
from Munich ? There are no fine arts, or literature, or
scientifics or politics here, but I can make them. Have
you heard of our young sculptor, Hoche? his group of
Groethe supported in the arais of Charlotte and Werther
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MEMOBULS OF THOMAS HOOD. $5
is just put up, but the pedest^ is too low. Professor
Swaltz's " Essay on the Architecture of the Catti " has
made a great sensation here, and has quite filled all
mouths, which a week ago were occupied with the project
for having a new pump in the Rhein Strasse, and enclos-
ing the parade with posts and rails. Nous verrons. In
my next, I shall give you an account of the grand party
at Prince Pfaffi's, &c., &c., <&c. I could make you a
double number of very Foreign intelligence. Or shall I
send you some free translations from the German?
They translate from me, and I ought to show my grati-
tude. If I may choose, I should like to make my first
experiment on Kant's Transcendentalism. I have been
to the Hotel of an evening, and got a good notion of
German philosophy, — perhaps you are not aware that
it is laid on with pipes, like the gas in London ! I have
tried to draw some of them, but a real smoker beats the
pencil. It is a mistake, by the way, to say " he is smok-
ing," he is not active but passive, — " being smoked ! "
How they suck their pipes, like great emblems of second
childhood, so placid, so innocent, so unmeaning ! ^ Mild
as the Moonbeam ! "
My kindest regards to Mrs. Dilke and Wentworth, and
believe me ever, my dear Dilke,
Yours very truly,
Thos. Hood.
The following letter was addressed to John Wright,
£sq., of the firm of Wright and Folkard, wood engravers
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ae MEMOBIALS OF THOMAS HOOD.
of Fenchurch Street ThiB gentleman undertook the
arrangement of the ^ Comic" during my father's absence,
correcting the proofs, and superintending the more me-
chanical part of the work.
872, Castob Hof, Ck>BLBHZ, 8^, 12th, 1885.
Mt dbab Wbight,
You will be glad to hear that I cannot write. at great
length to jou, because I am busy, and able to be busy.
You may imagine what a delight it was to us to see the
Elliots, — they are so very kind and friendly. Besides,
it was a comfort to have his opinion about me, though I
am much better. I almost growl at feeding-time if the
dinner is not ready. We dine at a very genteel hour —
two o'clock — which is also the Grovemor's time. The
universal people take it at one. But I find the differ-
ence more striking menfiilly than corporeally even ; and
ideas now come of themselves without being laboured for
— and in vain. In fact, I know that I have a mind, or
according to the famous form, " CogitOy ergo sum.^ I
believe that 's something like the Latin for it, but I for-
get, for Ihctd a Latin prize at school! As I find a pos-
itive pleasure in the power, its exercise must be equally
pleasant, and I think I shall get on rapidly ; indeed, some
evenings I have been quite delighted with my compara-
tive fertility of thought. I have got some good stories,
or hints for stories, from De Franck, whose loss I fear I
shall shortly have to regret, for I really like him. How
odd his knowing C and H. D ; there must
have been some mysterious animal magnetism in his ac-
costing me. A joke with him has led to my writing a
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MEMORIALS OF THOMAS HOOD. gj
poem of some 700 lines, which you will soon reoeive.
My own impression is, if good enough for the ^^ Comic,"
it had better be there to advance ; but consult with Dilke,
who will judge better than I can. I have been so unwell,
I am down, and diffident as to what I do. I shall have
some more Sketches on the Boad, and some German sto-
ries, so I have not been quite idle even in bed. I did
hope to be earlier this year, but, as all philosophers must
say when it comes to be impossible, " it can't be helped.**
I am only too happy to exclaim, like the poor scullion in
" Tristram Shandy," " I 'm alive." But some day I hope
to make my account even with the storm ; for there were
some Eugene Aram-like verses rambled through my
brain as I lay for the first night alone here — I believe a
trifle delirious — but I remember something of their ten-
our, and I have a storm by me to work them up with.
You see I am cutting out work for the winter. I went,
the day the Elliots left, to Mettemich, and in a wood at
the top of a hill I found a large patch of wild purple cro-
cuses in full bloom. I suppose ' they, too, had suffered a
fitorm, and could not bud as they ought to have done in
the spring. To-morrow I dine on game ! — " Think of
that. Master Brooke ! " for it will make me think of you.
I am sorry about Gilston Park. It would have turned
all my hares white in one night, and then such a herd of
deer$, I have only three here, Jane, Fanny, and Tom ;
but they make a strong ring-fence about me. What a
lot of Tremaines he must write to get it back again. We
authors are an unlucky set — freehold, copyhold, or copy-
right!
Kind regards to alL God bless you, and send you
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88 MEMOBIALS OF THOMAS HOOD.
bright days, that we may meet in 1855 like two Roths-
children just come of age and into our fortunes.
Yours ever truly,
Thomas Hood.
P. S. — "Vallnuts* is in, and thrippins an underd,
and will be lowerer ! " Think of that !
In the latter part of September, or beginning of Octo-
ber, our friend left with his regiment for Posen, and the
following letter was written by my father as if to himself
from M. de Franck, as a quiz upon the bad memory of
the latter. It is a curious jumble of wilful mistakes, and
the changes are rung through every variety that can be
thought of.
Posen, October ZOth, 1836.
My deab Mr. Wood,
The departure of a friend for Coblenz affords me an
opportunity of which I avail myself with much pleasure,
and especially as it enables me to prove, in spite of your
facetious hints of my inconstancy, that I am not unmind-
ful of my absent friends. On the contrary, I assure you
that on our march hither my thoughts often wandered
back to Coblenz, and rested on you and your amiable
wife and interesting family. Nay, although I am now
quartered in a city of infinitely more bustle and gaiety,
* My father had a great fondness for nnts, which his doctors were
very loth to allow him. On one occasion my mother kept a quantity
of them in a chiffonnier, and used to lock the door that he might not
get too many. He committed an amiable amatenr larceny by taking
out the drawer, and fishing the nuts out of the cupboard through the
aperture. — T. H.
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MEMOBIALS OF THOHAS HOOD. 89
and have oesides more multifarious military duties, still I
can honestly declare, as this letter is a proof, that, in spite
of such numerous avocations and distractions, my memory
has never failed to recur to the many pleasant evenings I
passed at your apartments in the Rhein Strasse. Indeed,
I may almost say that I find Posen itself rather dull for
want of such hours and companionship, and especially
that of your lively little girl, whose remarks used to
please me so very much. I never hear the name of Ma-
ria [Gcorgiana] but I think of her and her merry dark
eyes, not forgetting her little brother Peter [William].
Sometimes I wonder whether Lina (you see I do not for-
get any one) gets more intelligible to her mistress, and I
oflen wish my German could be again tasked to interpret
between her and Mrs. Good. These are delightful remi-
niscences to me, and I shall cherish them to the last
moment of my life. Let time rob me of what it may, it
can never efface these traces of real friendship — even if
I did not possess such a souvenir to remind me of you as
the " Comic Manual" [" Chemical Annals"], which you
were so kind as to present to me as a keepsake. I aa-
Bure you, my dear Mr. Woodthorpe, I value it very
much, and I did not forget it, and leave it behind me at a
little wine-house on the right-hand side of the road be-
tween Pfaffendorf and Hocheim. The landlord's name,
I think, was SteibeL Your story about '^ Was the other
Dead Man a Beggar ? " runs in my head as much as ever,
and often sets me thinking of you ; which always ends in
the wish that I could say here to my servant, as I used
when I was quartered at Ehrenbreitstein, ^ I am going
to Mr. Blood's 1 " Even Juno seems to miss your indul-
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90 MEMORIALS OF THOMAS HOOD.
gence ; she looks melancfaolj, and, I dare say, longs in
her heart to have another romp with your little boy, or a
race with Miss Sarah round your garden. Poor Juno I
I never take a walk with her of an evening without re-
grets at our separation. I assure you I have marked as
a lucky day in my calendar the one on which I first met
yourself, Mrs. Wi)odroflfe, and little Margaret, on the
banks of the Rhine. I can only comfort myself with the
hope that I am allowed to live in your remembrances as
you do in mine : in my mind's eye I see you all plainly
at this moment, seated in that little room which looks on
the Mosel bridge. As for little Caroline, I picture her,
of course, surrounded with her dolls, or playing with her
old favourite cart and horse. I suppose, by this time,
through running about under a German sun, her little
brother is as brown as she is ; but there is no harm in
that, for one is not very solicitous about having fair boys.
If my memory serves me, the complexion of her other
brother was very dark. It is very singular, but when I
arrived at Posen, I did not find any old friends. You
will say, of course, that I had forgotten them ; but I will
leave my defence to Mrs. Wedgwood, who used to stand
my friend in such cases when you ran me so hard, and
promised me a slice of bread and butter for a keepsake.
The faithfulness and minuteness of my recollections in
this letter ought also to speak for me. I can only say, if
it should please Fortune, even twenty years hence, to
throw us again together, you will find that neither your
features nor the name of Woodley have escaped my
memory, which was always reckoned a very good one.
But we shall meet, I trust, in a much shorter interval
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MEMOBULS OF THOHAS HOOD. 91
than a score of years. I am tantalised here sometimes
with rumours of oor returning to Coblenz early in next
spring. Should we do so, I suppose I shall hardly know
Miss Flora again, for by that time her pretty black hair
will be long enough to tie into tails, as the German little
girls dress their heads. Pray give my love to her, and
ask her if she remembers Lieut von F-^: — and his dog
Juno. There is a little girl here, thirteen or fourteen
years old, just about her height of figure, and talking a
little French also, who reminds me vividly of my little
friend in Coblenz. She has the same black eyes and
hair, and is equally fond of skipping-rope and swin^ng.
If I remember rightly, those were little Eatherine's fa-
vourite pastimes.
And now my dear Mr. Goodenough my time of duty
warns me to conclude. It will give me sincere pleasure
if you should think this letter worthy of a return in
kind, in which case I beg you will be particular in
giving me every information of yourselves and your
family. Pray take care of your health, and do not
neglect my advice about currents of air. I remember
you had a discoloration under the eye as if from a severe
blow through sitting in a thorough draught You must
not prosecute your medical [mathematical] studies too
closely. By this time I trust Mrs. Woodbridge is quite
well, and has no further occasion for the services of
Dr. B . I sincerely hope she will feel no more
ill effects from the dreadful storm she encountered in
coming from England. Have the kindness to present
my respectful regards to her, with my best wishes for
her health and wel&u*e, and a happy and safe return
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92 MEMORIALS OF THOMAS HOOD.
in due time to Northamptonsbire [Scotland]. I think
you told me jou came from Edinburgh, indeed I remem-
ber you had the Northern accent, which no doubt
enabled you to pronounce the Grerman so correctly.
Pray give my love to Miss Anne, and tell her I hope
she does not neglect her pianoforte. I remember all
the airs she used to play to me. Her brothers, I fear,
will have forgotten me, otherwise I should desire to
be named to them with kindness. I shall eagerly ex-
pect every post to hear from you; and let me again
beg of you to mention every one belonging to you, even
your dog. You could not offer me a greater gratifica-
tion; and if little Charlotte would add a P. S. in her
own hand, for I remember she wrote very. well, my
pleasure would be complete.
Accept my kindest regards to yon and yours, and
pray believe me,
My dear Mr. Woodgate,
TTour very sincere friend and well-wisher,
Philip db Franck.
P. S. I shall watch the newspapers for announcements
of your new works. I hope that some day you will pub-
lish another novel like your Tilbury House [Hall].
To Jambs Wood, Esq., Coblenz.
872, Castob Hof, Coblbnz, Nop. Zrd^ 1886.
My deab Wright,
I had yours with great delight, for I was very anxious
about the fate of my box. I have made some inquiry
and suspect the cause of the delay was that they were
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MKMOBIALS OF THOMAS HOOD. gg
things never sent before ; and that when examined at the
frontiers between Frassia and Holland,, thej did not
know what to do or to charge. I think such a delay not
likely to happen again, but shall take every precaution.
I had declared here what they were, and will in future
get them sealed by the Douane here if I can. The MS.
I will send post after post as I write it. I am glad what
I sent made so much. Before this you will have found
out what was to be done. * * * I am glad you
liked Doppeldick. If I can only travel a bit in the
spring here I will make ^ sich a Comic as never vos."
I know nobody here now but R ^ a teacher of lan«
guages, who drops in every Sunday. The last I had
such a long palaver with him in French ; and I really
believe I must be to him as Horam the S(mi of Asmar,
or one of the relaters of the Arabian Nights — though
only in giving him an account of England — of which he
asks me such questions as '^ have we any oaks ? " almost
if ^ we have any sun or moon ! " I make him stare
with truths sometimes. And though he is polite like all
foreigners nearly, he almost constantly has an involun*
tary shake of the head.
A shopkeeper, who also spoke French, one of the few
I am on speaking terms with, died the other day of
" nervous fever," being swelled like a man with dropsy !
Verily I have no faith in the doctors here — we are sure
to see a funeral every day — the population being only
20,000 including troops. I heard the other day of a
man having fifl^jwe leeches on his thigh I My wig I
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94 MEMORIALS OF THOMAS HOOD.
why ihej out-Sangrado Sangrado ! One of their blisters
would draw a waggon. If I should be ill again I will
prescribe for myself.
I will conclude with a Coblenz picture. Jane in bed,
smothered in pillows and blankets, suffering from a terri-
bly inflamed eye. In rushes our maid, and without any
warning suddenly envelopes her head in a baker^s meal-
sack hot out of the oven I prescribed as a sudorific, and
the best thmg in the world for an inflamed eye, by the
baker's wife (there 's nothing like leather !). What be-
tween the suddenness of the attack and her strong sense
of the fun of the thing, Jane lay helplessly laughing for
awhile and heard Gradle coax off the children with
" Coom schon babie — coom schone Fannische — mama
kranke ! " Encore ! I sent a pair of light trousers
which were spotted with ink to be dyed black ; after six
weeks they came back like a jackdaw, part black, part
grey. I put my hands in the pockets like an Enjglish-
man, and they came out like an African's. I think seri-
ously of giving them to a chimney-sweep who goes by
here; full grown, long nosed, and so like the devil I
wonder Fanny has never dreamed of him. There were
two ; but the other was stoved to death the other day at
our neighbour the general's. They lit a fire under him
when he was up. Our Dr. B who was sent for,
told me gravely, that he could not revive him, for when
he came, the man was Mack in the face/ "
I forgot to tell you that when Gradle first proposed
the hot flour prescription of the baker's wife, Jane had
flattered herself that it was only a little paper bag of hot
flour ; and it was only when she was tucked in that she
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IfEMOBIALS OF THOMAS HOOD. 05
began to feel what a cake sbe was! I wonder what
thej do for rheamatism ! Grod bless jou !
Yours ever truly,
T. Hood.
P. S. Fanny sends her love, " not forgetting Jemmy
and Freddy," and how they would like to come to Cob-
lenz and see all the soldiers, and the generals. There is
a man of the general's who rides upon a horse with a
helmet on his head. I can almost talk German, I shall
be glad to come back to England. Tommy has grown
and is very fat He has two sharp teeth, and he bites
my fingers when I put them in his mouth. I am very
happy here, because I can see the band go into the gen-
eral's, I can say how many months make a year, and
how many weeks make a month. I can write upon my
slate A. B. G. and figures. And oh! I have a great
house for my dolls, and three rooms in it ! and I can't
say any more for my head aches, and I have a great
many teapots and mugs, and I have got a cold, and a
kitchen I Grood night, and love to you and Jemmy and
Freddy.
" All of this stuff is Fanny's, every line,
For God's sake, reader, take them not for mine I "
CoBLENZ, Zlst Dec., 1885.
Mt DEA.B Wright,
Your letter arrived yesterday evening to my great re-
lief, for I began to get very anxious, supposing the book
would be published on the 15th, and feel sure I shall be
pleased with it^ when I see it. All parties appear to
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96 MBHOBULS OF THOMAS HOOD.
haye done their best, and for your own share I can only
say that I feel you have done for me, as I would for you
— your very best ; so accept my best thanks accordingly.
And now, what will you think of those abominable three
months' old letters ? up to this very hour they have never
come to hand.
It has been a great nuisance to us, for we have not
written to any one in the daily expectation of having
something to answer, so that Dilke and I for exam-
ple have not been on writing terms for three months,
and I fear many things I had to tell him have escaped
me.
To estimate our expectations and disappointments, you
must remember we are here as in a sort of desert, with
one friend, De Franck, and one acquaintance Ramponi,
the language master, who jabbers French with me, and
every now and then a fellow with an orange collar, i. e.
a postman, comes to the very next door. And now you
will laugh to be told that I am this evening going with
De Franck to a grand ball at the Cadno, where will be
all the rank, beauty, and fashion of Coblenz, of course
not to dance, but at De Franck's advice, who says that
the Grcrmari New Year ceremonies are worth seeing, and
I mean to see all I can, and turn it to account. I expect
to commit myself by Jaughing aloud, for when the clock
strikes twelve I shall find myself all of a sudden the only
unkissed, unembraced individual in the room; Franck
dined with us on Christmas day, and by his h^lp in the
evening we had a pretty German celebration to the high
delight of Fanny ; but thereof no more, as we hope some
day to introduce it in England. Our weather is variable,
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MEMOBIALS OF THOMAS HOOD. 97
generally frosty — we have a little while had cold enough
in all reason, the oil froze in the night light and the poond
of butter in the middle, and as Eatchen made a padding
in the kitchen the crust froze. The Rhine and the Mo-
selle are frill of ice, and the bridge being taken away,
Franck for a month to come cannot stay with us later
than nine in the evening, for he is quartered at Ehren-
breitstein on the other side, and must boat it across. He
is really a treasure to us, thoroughly English, unpresum-
ing, gentlemanly, and frill of good sense, fond of a joke
withal. Between him and the children it is quite a
mutual flame; on their side, sometimes, so as to be
laughable.
One night after his long absence I hung him up in
effigy as a deserter, and he came in and found Fanny
crying at it as if breaking her heart
I have no local news to tell you, but that recently a
priest at Cologne was convicted of poisoning a man from
whom he had purchased an estate without paying for it.
He is supposed to have given one or two their viaticum
before now.
N. B. My thunder and lightning waistcoat is come !
so I must go and dress for the ball. To you who know
my habits all this must seem very funny as it does to
myself. I expect to be highly amused.
Jane is going to curl my hair, and I am going to comb
and brush it, more attention altogether than hair gener-
ally gets here. I drink, in a glass of holiday hock, to
you and all friends, wishing many new years happier
than the happiest you have ever known or unknown.
T is pure rich juice of the grape, would you could taste
VOL. I. 6 Gv T
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98 MEMORIALS OF THOBCAS HOOD.
it, the worst here, at 3cL a bottle, we shoald think some-
thing of in England.
With kind regards to all, yours ever sincerely,
Thomas Hood.
The following amusing letter to Mrs. Dilke is without
date, although from many circumstances it was evidently
written in the latter part of 1835.
872, Gast-hdc-off, Gtod bless, 1835.
Mt bear Mrs. Dilke,
I write to you instead of the D because I am sick
of him as a correspondent : as a countiyman of Taylor's
said, " who would go out with a fellow, that when you
fire at him with a blunderbuss only returns it with a
pocket-pistol ? " even so have I sent Dilke huge letters
full and crossed, enough to drive him blind and stupid,
and give him a chronic headache ; and what does he
send in answer but a little letteret that cannot do any-
body any harm ? I suppose some day I shall come to,
*' T. H. is received " at the fag end of the Athenseum,
amidst the mis-called Answers to Correspondents.
In short, I resent,, as people resent who know the
world, — that is, cut him when he is making advances.
Tou shall have this, who will put it amongst the haughty"
graphs you are most proud of, instead of telling me coolly
that my " account of the whirlwind at Ehrenbreitstein,
and the story of the tooth-pick you had mislaid, and had
never been able to lay your hand on it since.*' It is long
since he wrote so ; but I can harbour malice quite as well
as Margate pier. I scorn his paltry excuses for brevity
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MEMOBIALS OF THOMAS HOOD. 99
without wit, and am astonished that he could have the
face to plead "the disturbance of the gentleman over-
head," whose noise he confessedly slept through. As for
his cock and a bull about " Mr. Pap, who was burnt at
Nottingham," I am of Jane's nursery opinion, that
^pap oughtn't to be burnt," and that is a sufficient
notice.
Regarding his whole 'pistle, in reality but a pocket
'pistle, candour compels me to say, I cannot conceive
how any man alive could write a duller, " with Liston
on one side of him, and Miss Kelly on ihe other." You
see I do not spare him ; but I have heard that in Eng-
land it is a sort of genteel flirtation with the wife to
abuse her husband to her face, so I mean to go my
lengths. Poor dear wretched woman ! I can well con-
ceive your perplexity with him at those Kentish cliffs,
for as you say " change of air wiU bring out any cow-
plairU that is hanging about." I can fancy him com-
plaining that all the chalk was not cheese, and then the
cheese not all rhiney in his megrims. Editors, as you
say, are but bad travelling companions, and as Taylor
would say, they are but bad visiting companions, or be-
fore this he would have left his card at least at our door ;
but he preferred Margate, and I can only say, de disgus-
tihusy &C.
I don't wonder you " prefer divines,^ as I do, espe-
cially if they are not attached to any particular church
or chapel ; in token of which I last week gave a trifle to
two Catholic priests towards building a new St. Castor's ;
being perfectly persuaded that the money would never
be applied to its ostensible use. I hope all stiff and
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100 MEMORIALS OF THOMAS HOOD.
back-bone Protestanta will be satisfied with this raj
apology.
They were very modest, and would take anything
they could get, even copper, so I gave them a very small
feather for the tail of the weather-cock.
If I recollect rightly your style of sin^ng, you were
also in favour of ^ tollor'eration ; besides one of the priests
allowed too that "totw les kommes sont des hommes^
and I felt obliged to pay him for being converted
BO far into a Protestant. If Mr. Dilke exerted himself,
he might get me a missionary stipend. The man's a
brute, and I 'U prove it by his own contrarieties ; for if,
as you state, his only wish on the coast was to " avoid
the sea," why on the same principle of logic did he take
yoa with him, but to get rid of you ? Jane feels for you,
and so do I, and indeed so do Fanny and Tom when you
describe taking him by the fin, and hauling him up '< all
along the shore there " to the fish-market, only to hear
him complain like a porpoise on land that he couldn't
" get enough fish." As to lugging him up to the Fort,
you ought to have recollected how little your own piano-
forU used to interest him.
By your leave what you did with him was an error of
judgment ; you should have stuck him on a high stool at
the parlour window, and made him pay every man in a
blue jacket and trousers, one and threepence ha'penny.
Besides, you forget his travels. Was it likely that a
man who had crossed the Simplon, would care to cross a
donkey ? or that he who had seen St Peter's at Some,
would give one of St Peter's pence to see St Peter's in
Thanet?
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MEMORIALS OF THOMAS HOOD. 101
Yon must have forgotten tbat he had been at Venice,
when you took him to " Snobs' watering-place."
To get him into plain ^yellow shoes and a pepper-
and-salt dressing gown," must have been a mere Mar-
gate miracle after the outlandish nightcaps with no hole
to 'em, but like tassellfed rainbows, I used to find on the
pillow of the spare bed at number nine. Even at Cob-
leiiz, here, — and he recommended Coblenz, — a plum-
coloured coat, sky blue pantaloons, and a waistcoat of
patchwork in silk is the costume. When he does make
a holiday in future, pray make him look more like an
Editorj that is to say, clothe him in all the '^ miscella-
neous articles" you can muster. Judging by this cos-
tume, I suspect a good many of the Germans here are
editors, and that accounts for Dilke wandering in this
direction. But you will do well to egg him on in this
fancy, for then, next year I may see you, and in the in-
terim I will look out for German J. C , S ^ and
Mrs. C to meet you, — not forgetting a Mrs. Pap,
wKo (Dilke says in his confidential letter to me) is ** a
very sociable, good-tempered woman."
I am sure he means her, though he cunningly lays it
on Mr. P. He says, " Mrs. Pap, whose husband was
burnt at Nottingham — the latter is a very sociable," &c,
&c. But don't be blinded so grossly.
Thank Grod you will have left ere this ; a little longer
and you would perhaps have been left, like Ariadne, on
the shingles, looking at your husband gone off in a Pap-
boat
But " henuff hov 'im," as of course you used to say
at Margate. * * Tom, Junior, who came to Cologne
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102 MEMORIALS OF THOMAS HOOD.
a little "shabby, flabby, dabby babby," has grown a
young Kentuck, who can lick his father — as hard as
nails, and as brown as rusty ones. — For his temper, only
fancy mine " with sugar." So unlike Jane's " warm with-
out." Then he is already so good on his legs. I wonder
he ever required D. " to stand for him," and as to talking
he can say papa when he likes. I have no doubt he only
don't cut his teeth because he don't choose. In bulk,
he is really a double number, but a good deal more amus-
ing.
His love for Gradle is more beautiful than its object,
for she is like a plain Chinese ; but he will know better
as he grows up.
Your Godchild is well and very good, but from seeing
processions, &c., is half a Catholic, so if you please, you
will come next year, and, according to your vows, teach
her High Church.
I think we could make you very comfortable, — at
least you would not need to lie in bed and eat split peas, as
you did in Paris. Jane can cook a little. She had the
honour of making the first pie ever seen in Coblenz, and
the baker so admired it that he abstracted half the con-
tents — greengages. Gradle can cook in the English
style too, but she will not eat what she has so cooked, and
yet I imagine it must be a good style, for a poor woman
comes for " the broth the ham was boiled in," but Jane
suspects that it is for a nightrlight, — being nothing but
water and oil. You shall try it when you come. If you
liked Tivoli, we have dozens of such tea-garden places.
Mozelweis, Schonbomlust, the Salmiac hut, &c., &c. I
took the Elliots to the first by moonlight, and gave them
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MEMORIALS OP THOMAS HOOD. 103
punch, but nothing to eat was to be had save some cold
plum-tart. We are not too refined here to go to German
White Conduits and Bagnigge Wellses. In the garden
of Schonbomlust (which reminded me, bj the way, of
some of the shrubberies of Lake House), we saw the
lady of our opposite neighbour, the general commander
in-chief of the Bhenish Provinces, or as Fanny calls
her, Mrs. Generous (pro general).
His Excellency is much taken with our brats, and
often, as he rides by, gives Fanny what she calls a
"laughish smile.*' But the admiration of the Castor
Hof is Tom, or as Fanny says, " all the boys that trav^
erse the street call him Timmvs" (she got the fine word
out of the lesson-book). He quite takes after his god-
father Dilke, in eating everything he can get, and plenty
of it, and he is as stout accordingly — not fat but solid.
This has been a great blessing, and altogether we are
as comfortable as need be. Our lodgings are Very com
modious and pleasant. A sketch I send Dilke will show
our look out at the back : and we have a tiny kitchen —
but it does — it does. We shall be able to give the
Elliots a dinner on their way back.
I am writing in a little study with a bookcase and a
sofa in it, so you see I am not without my luxuries
Fanny has a little bed-room next ours ; Tom has regu
larly outgrown his cradle.
Thank God, Jane and I have stopped growing, for as
it is I cannot stretch at full length in the bed, except
diagonally, because of the head and foot boards. The
Prussians are universally shortish and the beds are in
proportion, I ought to call them cribs. Ours is like '^ a
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104 MEMOBIALS OF THOMAS HOOD.
coffin for two." So you may suppose we shall have no
difficulty in finding spare beds for you when you come.
Dilke must sleep upright in a cupboard. Mind you must
not expect to be saluted when you arrive ; it is not the
fashion here, we have had many greater personages and
they did not get a single gun. Queen of Naples, Princess
of Beira, Prince Frederick of Prussia — not a pop — at
last came the King of Wiirtemberg, and as nobody else
did, he saluted himself with some tiny guns from his own
steamer.
But you may get kissed a few; Lieutenant Franck
told us that when the third battalion of his regiment
came here, he had to be kissed by about thirty officers of
it It was a very droll effect to see these moustached
veterans embracing each other, like boarding-school
misses.
Franck, who is an Englishman, cannot bear it, and
mluckily he is rather short Allan Cunningham might
escape it I saw a young couple, lovers or newly mar-
ried, kiss on separating in the steamboat, and, afker going
a few paces, the lady turned back and had another ! The
gent by this time had got amongst a party of English, for
whom the scene was too funny to withstand, and as the
lady's ^ second thought" took effect in the midst of us,
we all burst into a general roar. The King of Prussia
will not allow his officers to marry unless, independent of
pay, the couple have between them about 180 per an-
num. I have some thoughts of writing a pretty little
romance on the subject, — only fancy the distress of a
pair of such turtle-doves £ 5 short !
Imagine them getting up to 79, and then the ci^tain
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MEMOBIALS OF THOMAS HOOD. 105
obliged to sell out 10«. a year for a new uniform. Sitting
in the Btochs can be but a flea-bite to it I should not
like to be a father with money, for fear Wilhelmina or
Charlotta should take it into her head to imitate Miss
Blandy.
To be sure the king has some right to look after the
officers' matches, for he pays their debts, (I wish I was in
his service,) and altogether he seems to be very kind ana
considerate towards them. What I hear of his Majesty
I like, and am therefore pro tempore his loyal subject,
and drank his health on his birthday. Yesterday we
toasted '^ the Snobs " in Hocheim wine, it only costs ^d. a
bottle, and was quite good enough for such a pledge. I
cannot help thinking your Margate trip has a little let
you down, and you will want a jaunt up the Rhine to
restore you to gentility. But pray cast off your Marga-
tory manners and costume ere you come. One night
there was such an English party at the gardens of the
Weissen Boss, that Franck in horror told his brother
officers they were French people.
" It wam't bus," we are among the respectables at
present, and one comfort is, that when Jane has worn
out her bonnet and all her caps, if we can't afford new
ones, it's very fashionable for ladies to go bare-headed
in the street
Then for me a blue smock frock is a sort of sporting
or pedestrian dress for gentlemen, (and though I can't
walk much, or shoot, I can make believe,) when I have
worn out my best brown and my old black.
I bought a cap to save my hat, and when I wear
it, I am so thin withal, you would take me for a jockey
6*
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106 MEMORIALS OF THOMAS HOOD*
who bad been overtrained. But I bope to fill up again,
for I am going to dinner with an appetite far sharper
than our knives, which you may set your heart upon
without hurting it. I feel quite a gourmand now, after
going for months without dining, indeed it appears to
have been a joke against me at the hotel, that I i/^'ent
to the table-d'hdte not to eat.
Now, I scold so, if the dinner is not ready at two I
Jane likes nothing less than to hear me exclaim, ^ slow
coach I " which means that our household affairs are
not going on at the proper pace.
That win sometimes happen, for plain as she is,
our Gradle has a lovyer (perhaps more), and goes out
gallivanting. I wonder she has not lost him, for the
departure of some five thousand troops to the reviews
must have lefl many of the Coblenz servants at a loss
what to do with their hearts. Comparatively we are
as a city of the plague, and the streets appear deserted ;
the officers and men oflT duty were always lounging
about them. Dinner and turn-out is as common here
as tea and ditto in England.
We often see a- party of a dozen officers in ftiU twig
go to dinner at two, and hop the twig at five or sooner,
over the way. I cannot quite get out of my ha{)it of
sitting up to write at night, and when I am going to
bed at eleven or twelve, and look out of the window,
all Coblenzers are in' bed ; the only living thing is -the
sentinel at the general's. At noon the whole town
literally smells of dinner ; the shops are all locked up ;
and great is the consumption of grease and garlic
Dilke, who is anything but peaking and delicate^ will
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MEMOBIALS OF THOMAS HOOD. 107
laugh, and say he never met with anything he couldn't
eat ; but, upon my " davit," I saw a starved-looking dog
in the steamboat refuse to touch a plate of scraps set
before him by the steward. On lookmg over Jane's
letter, for fear we should jostle on the same subject (you
know we don't agree very weU), I see she has given
you a description of Gradle's dinner; so I refrain from
mentioning it, and will only say that a knife, not without
reason in Germany, is called a messer. As for Dilke
(to recur to him), you know his infatuation about every-
thing outlandish. Doesn't he send to (the further end
of the Edgeware Road or where it is?) for German
mustard — only because it looks dirtier than the Eng-
lish! I'U be bound, if it would give him time, he
would give an elaborate panegyric on Prtusic acid,
because it is Prussian. Only try him! We would
give a trifle here for a good Maigate whiting for all
his skits on that very delicate flavoured fish, at this
distance almost too delicate.
I should like to have all the skate and flounders he
refused ; and if I possessed but a briU (that '^workhouse
turbot "), I almost think I should venture to ask his ex-
cellency to dinner ; at a pinch we could enjoy sprats. I
hear we can have oysters here in the season, rather
stale-ish, that is to say they come like all other travellers,
all '' open-mouthed," as if they were looking at our lions.
They eat them with vinegar and lemon, and Franck says
you cannot eat them without; for though you have them in
their shells, they taste a little too corpse-like ; I think I
could even eat the great big horse oysters iptth their beards
on, that we used to leave to the coal porters and draymen
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108 MEMORIALS OF THOMAS HOOD.
about Lonnon. We have had those lobsters of Lilh'put
— small crayfish — we thought we must have bargained
well when we got 25 a penny, but when Franck supped
upon them with us in the evening, he said we ought to
have got a hundred ; perhaps we ought to have had a
dozen for nothing. But the poor rich English are very
much imposed upon I A maitre d'hotel (a very good
authority), told me candidly on coming up, that there
were three tariffs for the English \
French ( .
Dutch )
- He stood in the middle predicament, and I have found
his statement perfectly true. The good honest Germans
are as great cheats as any, though I confess they look
honest, they are so stupid-like, and perhaps honesty is
stupidity. I had some shirts made here, and they not
only changed the cloth I had bought of them, but sent
me home some shirts so laughably short, I could only
make shift with them; this was a respectable shop.
Franck says he interfered once (he has a good national
spirit about him), when he found some English deplorably
fleeced at an Inn. The fact is, though we pay three
times as much as the natives, it is still so cheap in com
parison with England, " dear, dear " England, that one is
blinded to imposition. In my last letter to Wright, I
ventured to conjecture that there would be a revolution
in England, if it were from so many English coming up
the Rhine, and finding what a deal they can get for their
money ; not that they would wish to remove their king,
but that they would wish their sovereign to go farther.*
* In these days, when we know more aboat the official — or shall
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MEMORIALS OF THOMAS HOOD. 109
Only think how you may be charitable on next to
nothing by giving a pfenning, the third part of a farthing ;
and in this blessed country there is something to be
bought even for that low denomination. I wonder what
you can get in England for a farthing, for the " little far-
thing rushlight" is only a fiction. Only fancy Fanny
coming to me when Gradle is going to market, for a shil-
ling to dine the whole household.
"We have not tried, but I really believe you might have
a snug little evening party for half a guinea ! I suspect
you never enjoy the sensation of fulness in the only
place where repletion is a pleasure, in the pocket !
You might here 'go out of an evening with your bag
fvR of money ; and such is the nature of the coin, it
would only suffice to pay for a lost game or two at shil-
ling shorts. For example, fancy yourself the mother of a
dozen strapping Wentworths (father or son they are both
of a bigness), and even so does a little dumpy shirt-button-
mould of a groschen (a penny), expand by changing into
twelve goodly pfennings — each almost a ha'penny —
whilst for a dollar (3 shillings), you get 6 pieces, each as
big as the old eighteenpenny tokens. . You might fell an
ox with a long purse that had a pound translated into
Prussian at the other end of it ; I wonder Mrs. Fry never
came here, one might do such a deal of good ostentatious-
ly for a shilling a week. For my own part, I have not
gone further in contemplation than a little feast to the poor
"we call it, officious — interference of Continental Governments, is it
not tolerably evident that the letters to Wright went Wrong, in conse-
quence of such an awfully revolutionary desire as that of " change for
a sovereign? " — T.H.
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110 MEMOMALS OF THOMAS HOOD.
children in Coblenz, as I used to see the orphan schoo
regaled in the avenue at the back of dear One-Tree Hil.
at Wanstead.
It would be a pretty sight in the Castor Hof ; and
fruits being cheap, only think that, buying wholesale,
I could for three shillings give a hundred little ones nine
greengages a-piece.
This would be as good as dining them : for you may
read in the " Bubbles " of a tailor and his son who lived
in the season on plums. If you would like to join in the
entertainment, you might make all the parents drunk
for about a fourpence a head, with music €id libitum
for eighteenpence. I assure you Pwas in doubt at the
hotel at a table cThote whether I could offer a penny
farthing to a nice lady-like young woman, who had been
80 obliging as to sing, accompanied by her hhrp, all
dinner-time. However, as the coin was neither silver
nor copper, I managed not to be vulgar altogether, nor
yet extravagant You will be surprised to hear that
nothing at all seemed to be very genteel, and some of the
gentlemen gave it with a smirk and look as if they ex-
pected a salute in return. Never mind Dilke, / say
Grermans are not liberal (of course only speaking from
the sample here), and yet we have an instance of liberal-
ity under our eyes enough to redeem a nation. How
munificent are the poor to the poor, casting into shade
the most splendid benefactions of princes !
Next door to us (a tavern) there lives a poor maniac
the house is her own property, and therefore the charita-
ble lunatic asylums are closed against her. Her brother,
and heir, iU-treats her, and is supposed almost to starve
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MEMORIALS OF THOMAS HOOD. m
her, for the sake of the fifeehold ; and the poor wretches
at the back tenements, weavers and other famished
human weazels (the woman who begs our ham-broth
amongst the rest), thrust up to the poor mad creature, on
the points of sticks, fragments of bread and food, of
which, God knows, to look at them, thej are scant
enough themselves. This I call charity ; and it makes
me so pleased with the -givers, that I wish I were but
that King of Hams, the King of Westphalia, to allow
them ham-broth to swim in if they so pleased.
And now, having given you this pretty episode to
sweeten my asperities in my letter, I will leave you with
an agreeable impression of human nature and myself. I
have written a long letter, because I thought your kind-
ness would be pleased with it, being a cheerful one, after
some anxiety on my account. Besides, I write to you
(I hope Dilke won't be jealous) con amove, seeing that
we have been always very good friends, and have never
disagreed but at secondhand. I mean when I could not
put up with your pickled oysters, and you could not en-
dure my preserved sprats. So I heartily reciprocate
your " God bless" — which, I remember, when only fe-
males were in the case, used to be followed by a sort of
smack that might have been heard from No. 9 to Pim-
lico palace. I do not know whether I ought — but the
Germans do — and I 'd rather you than Dilke ; and be-
sides, I recollect how you sobbed and cried when Doctor
S went away without offering . So here goes
— consider it enclosed! On second thoughts I have
judged it better to keep up appearances with your hus-
band by writing to him. So that while I get you to
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112 MEMORIALS OF THOMAS HOOD.
remember me kindly to William and Wentworth and
Taylor and Chorley and Holmes, and all other friends, I
can get Dilke to forget me kindly to all the rest, which,
I feel sure, he will punctually fulfil. He must have for-
got himself when he went to Margate. I only wish when
he goes to the coast again " may I be there to sea." Of
course you did not dip him, for he is more than a mould
already. Fanny asked, in her innocent way, " Did Mr.
Dilke go about with a basket and pick up shells ? " I
told her " No ; but he used to take a ride out on a don-
key with you behind him on a pillion." I don't wonder
at the child's wonder. In the name of Earl Goodwin
(who rented the famous Sands), what did you do with his
appetite ? He is not a man to go about picking shrimps
and teazing periwinkles out of their shells with crooked
pins. As the sea air is sharpening, I wonder he did not
eat you, who are as plump as a partridge, with Mrs. Pap
by way of bread-sauce. Then the hot weather you both
talk of must have made him open his coat wider than
usual, that the wind might get down the arms. I think
I see him courting the sea-breeze. " Upon my soul, Ma-
ria, this is a delightful place ! So like Coblenz I So you
call this Margate, do you, my beauty? Well — " (a
grunt like a paviour's) " and I suppose you call that the
fort — humph ! Considering we might have stood before
Ehrenbreitstein instead of it — hah!" (a sigh like an
alligator's). "My God! — that we could be so insane!
— how any Christian being could stay a month in it ! —
why I should hang myself in ten days, or drown myself
in that stinking sea yonder! There is not one thing
worth looking at — not one ! I know wliat you are go-
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MEMOEIALS OF THOMAS HOOD. US
ing to say, Beauty; but because the Crosbys and the
Chatfields are such donkeys, and the Lord knows who
besides, is it any reason because they don't act like com-
mon rational beings ? But come along! *' (no offer
to stir though) '^ let 's go up to the market and look at
the fish, for I suppose you know there is none to be had
here, because it is so near the coast. To be sure, says
you, there is whiting-^ and so there is at Billingsgate I
If ever I go again to a watering-place — I believe that 's
what you call it, Maria — it shall be Hungerford Market.
My God ! it is a madness — a perfect madness — to leave
home and come down here to see — what ? a parcel of
yellow slippers and pepper-and-salt dressing-gowns."
Here he draws down his mouth, and hoists up his shoul-
ders, till his coat-collar hides his ears. " Well, it 's too
late now to listen to common sense. It serves me right
for being such an ass. By the time my holidays are over,
I shall know how to spend them ! But perhaps you like
it better than I do, for there's no disputing of tastes.
" There may be something to recommend even Mar-
gate, though an angel from heaven couldn't find out what
it is. I know / can't, unless it 's having a drunken noisy
'vagabond overhead to keep you awake all night long.
But I forget, my darling, you don't sleep so light as I do
— so much the better for you 1 Then there 's his sister
that Mrs. what d' ye call her, Tops-and-Bottoms,
with her infernal bobbings and curtseyings and over-ci-
vility. Damme if I know how to answer the woman ! I
suppose, according to Margate manners, we ought to ask
her to Grosvenor Place. But mind, Maria, when she
calls, I 'm at Somerset House I Ck)me along " (not a
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114 MEMORIALS OF THOMAS HOOD.
Stump stirred yet). "I suppose we must see what is n't
to be seen in our salt-water Wapping. All / have seen
is 'London butter,' — just think of that, Maria, — * Lon-
don butter may be had here.' Why so it may in Lon-
don without going sixty miles by sea for it; and you, my
darling, as sick as a dog! Spasms! I don't wonder
you 've had spasms ; I 've almost had them myself. It 's
the cursed negatives, and the place, rather than anything
positive, — the utter bleakness and desolation of the coun-
try against the stinks of the sea-shore. Lord ! that a
man with a nose on his face should come here ; and here
too one has to remember that there are such places as
Coblenz ; and such a river as the Rhine. I '11 tell you
what, Maria ! " Here he tells you nothing ; but stooping
over his base, like the leaning tower at Bologna, he takes
a very long pinch of snuff, and then anathematising,
shakes the dust off his fingers against all Margate and
all its inhabitants, present and future.
There ! isn't that a portrait of him to the life — a cab-
inet picture — a gem! Pray take care of it, to be a
comfort to you when you are a widow. Perhaps I shall
send him a sketch of you as a companion picture, for I
can fancy you quite as vividly. If I recollect rightly you
were at Margate before, and liked it amazingly. Be-
tween your raptures and his disgusts I suppose you got
up a quarrel, for I observed you say in your letter that
"you are both getting a little more reconciled*^ He
must have been awful — and I guess it was his splenetic
attacks on the donkeys to vent his humane notions that
originated the notice to visitors about " wanton cruelty."
Take my advice if ever you get him to Margate again
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115
put him up to be raffled for. And now as the Germans
say " ah chied ! '* or as you would say " a do."
J^i
uJ\/UA i/)?rrju Jt'tjJU/^'t^.cS^ <
" If these pages should be the happy means ot exciting
one virtuous impression, or confirming one moral or re-
ligious principle, or lightening one moment of human suf-
fering, or eradicating one speculative error, or removing
one ill-founded prejudice, the writer will have his re-
ward, and will not have written in vain."
I am,
My dear Mrs. Dilke,
Yours ever very truly,
.Thos. Hood.
P.S. I dined well to-day on such a haricot! that
I'm persuaded Jane is the best cook in Coblenz. So
I have done the handsome thing and riz her. She had
nothing a-year before, and I have doubled it. We got a
Westphalia ham against the Elliots' return, at five pence
a pound. It is the finest I ever tasted ; such a favour,
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MEMORIALS OF THOMAS HOOD.
quite answerable to its odour, which is as unique in its
kind as that of the best Eau de Cologne ! They call it
here the " rauch/' answerable to the Scottish reek ; but
I will say no more here about edibles or you will com-
pare me to Matthews, who began writing ^ The Diary of
an Invalid," and ended a Grourmand. I should like to
send you a real Westphalian, but then the duty! You
ought to take one with you here, as Miss M did her
sweetmeats from India; she brought a large box of
them — preserved Lord knows what — but the customs
demanded so much that instead of bringing them ashore
«he went and ate them all up on board herself. I had
this from Dr. E > who was called in to her after
"the Gorge."*
P. S. God bless.
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MEMORIALS OF THOMAS HOOD. II7
CHAPTER III.
1836.
At Coblenz. — Letters from Mrs. Hood to Mrs. Elliot. — Letters to Mr.
Wright and Mr. Dilke. — Accompanies the 19th Polish Lifantry in
their March to Berlin. — Letters to his Wife. — Returns to Coblenz.
— Illness. — Letters to Lieut, de Franck, Mr. Wright, and Mr. Dilke.
— Commences " Up the Rhine."
AT the beginning of this chapter, I have inserted the
following letter from my, mother to her friend Mrs.
Elliot, not only as interesting in itself, but also as giv-
ing a correct history of the " trussing " of the Christmas
pudding, to which such frequent allusion is made by my
father in his subsequent letters to Mr. de Franck.
872, Castor Hof, Coblenz, 28A Jan,^ 1836.
Mt dear Mbs. Elliot,
Your welcome letter arrived with many others in a
parcel on New- Year's eve.
You may not have seen Mr. Wright to hear that his
parcel was packed up to send here, when finding that it
was not safe to enclose the letters he had to take them
out, and a friend of the Dilkes coming to Diisseldorf
undertook to convey them to us; she was detained a
fortnight at Rotterdam, as the persons who undertook to
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lis MEMORIALS OF THOMAS HOOD.
put the luggage on board neglected to do so. From the
time you left us, with the exception of one from mj sister
C , two days after your departure, and a few from
Mr. Wright, who saw the " Comic " through the press,
we did not have i^ letter from a soul ; post after post went
by in vain expectation; first we were impatient, then
we were angry, then astonished, and asked each other
^ Stands England where it did ? " The man used to turn
the comer of the Nagel Strasse, and come with his hate-
ful lemon collar to the very next door, nay, even to our
own, but not to us. Hood was dressing to go to the
civil Casino ball with Herr Franck when the delightful
parcel arrived. He was sorry he had to go, and kept his
friend waiting, while he read some of the long looked-for
letters.
I must now earnestly and gratefully thank you and
my kind friend the Doctor for going to C . My
mother's letter expressed how much comfort you had
afforded her by that visit ; she seemed cheered by your
good account of us, and I feel quite happy to think she
will look on our absence with less regret now she knows
we are going on so well. We are all well now except
Hood, who every now and then has a slight return of
illness and weakness, which I trust when the spring
comes he will get over. * * * I have recovered the
use of my eye in spite of all mis-management, but I
suffered great pain. I had three spots on the white, or
rather the red of the eye like seed-pearl. You will rec-
ollect that the people here are most of them troubled
with weak eyes. Hood says they are generally browu
but border on red. I forgot to tell you in its propei:
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MEMORIALS OF THOMAS HOOD. 119
place, that is to say round my eye, that I was ordered
leeches which were applied by a sort of barber-surgeon,
an official not now known in England.
Hood desires me to make known the best part of his
practice, namely, put the leeches for five minutes into a
basin of tepid water, which makes them lively, and eager
to bite; obviating the tediousness and trouble of the
Snglish method. And fortunately Hood in his candour
ventured to approve of the plan, and drew upon himself
the retort of " Nbwy Sir, you may write to England, and
tell them how to put on leeches." But the Germans do
not know where to put them, for he put one in the comer
of ray eye. We have since had the following bill:
" To his Lady to put blood-suckers at your eye, six shil-
lings," which charge, translated into English, according
to the relative value of money, would be twelve shillings
for merely putting them on, exclusive of the "blood-
suckers ; " but Hood thinks the method is worth atten-
tion, and I only mention the 'charge as a warning to any
friends you may have coming up the Rhine, as a sample
of what we find too surely obtains throughout as regards
the English ; this man never receiving more than a third
from the natives*
We are getting wiser every day, and have paid for it,
but could not have arrived at the truth without the help
of our friend Lieut, de Franck, who is an Englishman
by birth and at heart, but will pass for a German. It is
too certain there is a separate table of charges for the
English ; and the superlativest thing a countryman can
do going up the Rhine, is to insist upon the German
price, always a half, sometimes a third. De Franck tells
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120 MEMORIALS OF THOMAS HOOD.
ns a majoi^s pay is a very handsome income, and it is
exactly £ 280 a year. As they have a certain style to
keep up, you may ima^ne how cheap living is to the
natives.
Hood is so disgusted with their illiberality in this re-
spect, that he likes to publish it as much as he can,
especially as the English are the greatest benefactors to
the Rhenish towns. I am not sure whether I shall be
able to restrain him from going to the steam-packets,
when they arrive with the English, to say, *^ Take care of
your pockets."
I will now give you a pleasanter subject — Hood's
description of the ball at Casino on New Yearns eve. I
made him sit by me and dictate it. ^ My ticket to meet
all the rank, beauty, and fashion of Coblenz cost me only
twenty groschen, and it was well worth every shilling of
the money. His Excellency Greneral De Borstell, com-
mander of all the Rhenish provinces, was there, and so
was my tailor, and the man of whom I bought my black
stock. To be sure, although in one room, there was a West
End! The rank particularly occupied the top comer ; so
the right-hand and the left comer next the door seemed
to be the favourite with the snips and snobs. To do the
latter justice, they behaved with much more decency and
decorum than would have prevailed in such a motley as-
semblage in London. How would you stare, too, in
London, to see at a ball a secure or two in the uniform of
common soldiers offering their partnership to the ladies !
But the fact is, as everybody must be a soldier in Prus-
sia, there is no purchasing commissions: some of the
common soldiers are the sons of barons. The dances
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MEMORIALS OF THOMAS HOOD. 121
were waltzes, gallopades, and contre-danses, the last like
our quadrilles. They mostly danced well, especially the
waltz, which is such a favourite, that I saw girls stand up
for it — steady-looking, decidedly serious as a Sunday-
school teacher, whom I should as soon have expected to
see whirl off with a young man round the room after sixty
other couples. They made my head spin at last with
looking at them. But the music was beautiful — excel-
lently played. I think / could at least have flounced
about in time to it myself. The instruments were many
and various. They seemed never to tire of the whirligig ;
and De Franck says, they often wakz upon those poU
ished floors, similar to the Duke of Orange's you saw,
where we can hardly walk without breaking a leg, as the
Duke of York did. I was amused to see De Franck
and a young lady each pull out a card or little book, and
register something in the Tattersall style of betting ; it
was an engagement to each other to dance together at a
certain ball, perhaps a month to come. From time to
time, the company refreshed themselves in a suite of rooms
laid out with tables, each company paying for its own^
For my own part, I got on pleasantly enough amongst a
party of Franck's brother officers, one of whom instantly
tendered to me a glass of Cardinal, i, e. Bishop (only
cold), with wine, sugar, and the rind of a small green
orange they grow here, of the size of a cotton ball, and
which has the peculiar property, that a little too much of
the rind in the mixture will infallibly give you the head-
ache ! I wish I could say much for the beauty of CJob-
lenz ; but there were only, to my taste, three or four with
any pretensions. The great favourite was a Miss N .
VOL. 1. 6 r- T
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122 MEMORIALS OF THOMAS HOOD.
The officers hardly reckon it a ball without her. Yet she
is not handsome ; her nose is decidedly plain — snubby
even ; but she seems clever, which is rare enough here,
I guess. I had also a young wife of sixteen pointed out
to me as interesting, but she looked too like a school-
girl. As to dress, I always get scolded because I could
never describe if Miss A. or Miss B. was in blonde or
bombazeen. So you must excuse the millinery, espe-
cially as, being all grades, they wore all sorts of fash-
ions.
" At last came the dance I had come to see ! Exactly
at twelve, bang went a minor cannon in an adjoining
room, and the waltz instantly broke up, and the whole
room was in motion, everybody walking or running about
to exchange salutations, and kisses and embraces with
all friends and acquaintances male and female. Such
hearty smacks and hugs, and hand-shakings to the chorus
of ' Prosit neu jahr I Prosit neu jahr ! ' Some of the
maidens methought kissed each other most tantalisingly,
and languished into each other's arms, I am afraid because
so many nice young men and gay officers were present
to see it; but then the fathers and mothers were as
busy kissing and be-kissed. With some of the older
folks it was quite a ceremony ; and I should think
the demand on the sentimentals was very great. And
there all the while stood your humble servant — the
poor English creature — the disconsolate — the forsaken
— the dummy — and looker-on — and what you will —
with niy lips made up and my arms empty — a lay
figure — while the very fiddlers were hugging! Of
course I could not kiss my tailor, or embrace the man
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MEMORIALS OF THOMAS HOOD. . 123
I bought the black stock of. But luckily I recognised
twc young ladies I have met at the Vertue's. (You
see I stuck to the ^ Virtuous though Jane was not pres-
ent.) We had never been on speaking terms, as they
did not like to own to French far from the best quality.
However, I convinced them mine was no better, and
we complimented each other with a good deal of 'bad
language. So I went and looked a salute at them,
which made them smile, and then the officer who had
presented me the glass of Cardinal, came and shook
hands with me ; and even this, which was my aU, com-
forted me. It was really a funny scene, and if you
will give a large party on New Year's eve, and have
plenty of beauty and fashion, I will introduce the custom
on my return. I mean to try and draw it."*
So much for Hood's New Year's eve. I must now
tell you my story about the Christmas pudding. The
Lieutenant was with us on Christmas day, and enjoyed
my plum-pudding so much, that I promised to make one
for him. Hood threatened ta play some tricks with it —
either to pop in bullets or tenpenny nails ; and I watched
over my work with great vigilance, so that it was put in
to boil without any misfortune.
I went to bed early, telling Gradle to put it, when done,
into the drawing-room till the morning. Hood was writ-
ing, and says, it was put down smoking under his very
nose, and the spirit of mischief was iiTcsistible. I had
bought a groschen's worth of new white wooden skewers
that very morning. He cut them a little shorter than
the pudding's diameter, and poked them in across and
* This forms one of the Ulustrations of " Up the Rhine." — T. H.
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124 MEMOBIALS OF THOMAS HOOD.
across in all directions, so neatly, that I never perceived
any sign of them when I packed and sealed it up the
next day for De Franck's man to carry over to Ehren-
breitstein. He came to thank me and praised it highly.
I find that while I was out of the room Hood asked him
if it was not well trussed, and he answered " Yes " so
gravely that Hood thought he meditated some joke in
retaliation, and was on his guard. At the ball the truth
came out — he actually thought it was some new method
of making plum-puddings, and gave me credit for the
woodwork. He had invited two of his brother officers
to lunch upon it, and Hood wanted * to persuade me that
the " Cardinal " officer had swallowed one of the skew-
ers! Now was not this an abominable trick?
"We have had very severe weather, and at first suf-
fered much from the cold, for the stoves are dreadful
and unsatisfactory substitutes for a good English fire.
The Rhine bridge was taken up, and the people crossed
the river to and fro in boats. This has been inconven-
ient to the officers who live at Ehrenbreitstein, as the
private and public balls are numerous at this season, and
crossing the Rhine through broken ice in an open boat at
twelve, one, and two in the morning, after dancing, is not
very agreeable. They attempted putting up the bridge
again two days ago, after a week's complete thaw, and got
it a quarter over on each side, but yesterday there came
* And nearly succeeded in doing so, innocently assisted by the
officer in question, with whom the pudding had not altogether agreed.
As he did not know English, and my mother was not yet up in Ger«
man, a pantomime ensued on his part expressive of indigestion, but
construed by my father as descriptive of the agonies of an internal
skewer. — T. H.
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MEMORULS OF THOMAS HOOD. 125
■with a storm of wind large masses of ice from other
rivers that flow into the Rhine, and tore up the fasten-
ings, crushing the hoats, and breaking them into pieces.
They have, however, got it up to-day again partly, and
if fresh ice does not come, it will all be up by eleven or
twelve to-morrow. The week before last we read an ac-
count in a Coblenz paper that the ice had stopped at the
Lurlei (I dare say you recollect that singular and pictur-
esque rock above St. Goar), and that it was ^* mountains
high," not having been so before in the memory of man.
We found from De Franck everybody was going to see
it, and we nobodies wished to join them. It was a bright
day, clear and frosty, and I who had not before been
above Coblenz, enjoyed the scenery greatly. We left
here at half-past nine, and arrived at St Goar to dinner
at half-past one. We set off after dinner to see the ice,
which, we were told, extended far beyond what we could
reach that evening, having to return here. The Ger-
mans, who are apt to exaggerate, had talked of icebergs
not to be found, but still the sight was well worth seeing.
Supposing you have not forgotten the Lurlei, imagine
that narrow passage blocked up with a storm of ice ; for
the immense pressure had heaved it up in huge waves
and furrows, eight or ten feet high, each ridg§ composed
of massive slabs of ice tossed about in all directions. At
every bend of the river there had been a dreadful scuffle,
and the fragments were thrust upwards end-ways. But
the mighty river would not be dammed up — you saw it
now and then in a narrow slip rushing like a mill stream
-r- then it plunged under the ice and boiled up again a
hundred yards farther. At one bend of the river a
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126 MEMORIALS OF THOMAS HOOD.
green orchard was covered with great blocks hurled over
the bank, one could not suppose how. There were some
ridges, or rather ruts, so straight and evenly shaved
down, that one fancied some giant of the mountain had
driven his car through the middle of the ice, and that his
wheels had left these traces and deep furrows. But on
considering it. Hood discovered that the middle ice had
moved, while that on the sides was stationary, and the
friction had worn it as smooth as if cut with a knife.
We went to Oberwesel, part of which was under water.
We had not time to proceed farther, though we both
agreed that we could have gone on, and on, and on, to
see more. . We hear that higher up a church was sur-
rounded with masses of ice so that only the steeple was
perceptible. The Moselle ice carried away a youth of
sixteen, who was playing on it, and a similar and some-
what romantic incident occurred on the Rhine. On the
island just above the bridge resides the Countess of
P , who walking out by herself to see the ice float-
ing down, managed to fall in ; perhaps she was push-
ing the loose bits of ice as the children do. Heaven
knows what foolish process brought her to do it — but in
she plumped ! As Hood says, ** some German cherub
that sits up aloft " brought a willow bough to her assist-
ance, and there she hung, well preserved in ice, a good
long spell — till a young man, the son of one who had
been at law with the Count, her father, about some hun-
dreds of thalers, came in a boat and rescued her. There
has been much speculation whether the law-suit would
be dropped by the old gentleman, out of gratitude to the
preserver of his daughter^ However, I have not heard
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MEMORIALS OF THOMAS HOOD. 127
the result. Unfortunately the young lady is not a beauty,
or even interesting ; being very short and stout, with a
coarse red complexion, and tow-coloured hair. Our
friend says she attends the balls, and although always ele-
gantly dressed with a jewelled order of crown and cross
on her bosom, all agree she looks* like some peasant-girl
from the mountains — and one of the plainest too!
Hood foretells she will give her preserver a lock of
her tow-coloured hair, and advise her father to proceed
with the law-suit. This is his splenetic idea of German
gratitude.
I am going to intrude a double letter upon you, and
I fear a very confused and blundering one. I am always
very busy, and now especially so from Gradle not behav-
ing well. Indeed she has so the upper hand of me, and
goes her own course of late so obstinately, that we decide
upon parting with her ! The love affair (if one may so
degrade the term) with Joseph, the carpenter, soon after
you left became annoying ; every evening he was at our
door for two or three hours, and so she left us to attend
to ourselves. When it got cold weather, and she had a
pain in her face, she brought him into the kitchen ; at
last he was here at all times in the day. I could not go
into my own kitchen, but there he stood or sat smoking
Itfs pipe, and she would not understand that we did not
like it ; so we got Herr Ramponi, an Italian master, who
calls here sometimes to gossip with Hood, to say our mind,
and she promised everything in the way of amendment,
but her temper, as the Vertues told us, is very ungovern-
able. She has carried on the connection, and our chil-
dren, when she is sent to take them oat, are we find
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12d HEMOBIALS OF THOMAS HOOD.
always kept standing on the banks of the Rhine or
Moselle, while she talks to Joseph, who is at work there.
As we cannot now depend on her, and I find her verj
insolent to myself, without the power to answer or check
i^ Hood insists upon her going.
Tom was seized with the measles, poor dear, and was
very ill one day. It is not, they say, thought anything of
here, but we moved his bed for warmth into Hood's
study, kept fires night and day, and Hood and I never
left him till quite well, which he is now, though a little
weaker. He is an everlasting amusement to us with his
little tricks — says "ja" and "ah chied," pronounced
^ a chee," and takes off his little black cap bowing as
ceremoniously as a young German. We hear that there
is going to be a very grand review of all the Prussian
troops by the King next September ; and they half think,
and all wish it may be in the neighbourhood of Coblenz ;
it will be a grand sight — the pioneers will throw tem-
porary bridges over the Rhine — the tents would be
pitched on the plain on the other side of the Moselle
facing our back windows — there will be 80,000 men,
and it would be only a pleasant ride from here to see
their evolutions and sham fights, De Franck being good
information for us where best to go. The King would
reside (if here) in the suite of rooms that run along the
front of the Greneral's opposite to us; and the place
would be very gay and amusing. Of course it would
even tempt travellers to abide here, as such a sight does
not offer every day. The Dilkes wrote by the parcel
your letters came in — he was very much dissatisfied
with their trip to Margate, and kept saying continually
" and we might have been on the banks of th$ Rhine."
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HEMOBIALS OF THOMAS HOOD. 129
Passing down Cbancerj Lane a month after their
return, he heard the mistress of a greengrocer's shop
say '^ that gentleman was at Margate when I was there ! "
Our friend Franck has just been here on his waj
to the military ball at the Casino^ He tells us that
General Yon Borstell has written to the King to beg
he will have the review here, if possible, but they are
afraid that the Minister of Finance will object, on .
account of the expense, as the farmers ask so much
here for their crops, and the King always pays for
the damage which is done by the troops during their
sham fights; they trample over everything.
On the 11th February, the Carnival commences, but
they seem to think it will not be a good one this year,
it was 80 expensive on the last occasion, though I think
to the sober English, the best is but mere trumpery
and folly ; it is well, however, to see all these novelties
before settling again at our dear English fireside, which
I look forward to with aU hope and comfort Hood
promises himself the pleasure of writing to Dr. Elliot,
to whom he feels much indebted for even his flying
advice, as it has done him much permanent good. The
steel wine appeared to be of such benefit that he really
missed it when he chanced not to take it, and he has
Lad no return worth mentioning of his complaint. He
says he has entirely to thank the Doctor, that in med-
icine he is not an Infidel^ and that here, for once, he
has no double meaningless meaningj the double practice
upon himself and his better half: he hopes the Doctor
will not accuse him of presumption that he intends
to practise here himself, — but only upon himself, and
6* I
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130 MEMOBIALS OF THOMAS HOOD.
he prays God earnestly that he may not have need
of such bad advice.
Hood means to go to Mayence, Frankfort, the Baths,
&C., and also up the Moselle, to Treves (I remaining
here with my babes), if he can, next spring and sum-
mer — meditating a work for which he has already
some matter and drawings, something like the ^'Brun-
nens," and yet not like it ; he hopes you got the Comic
he desired to be sent, and that it did you no harm.
Through some mismanagement of not hearing how the
book printed, he had too much, and so some of the
writing stands over for the next I was very angry
at this, who saw how very hard he worked up to the
.last. We have not received it yet, which seems odd,
but I suppose the difficulty of sending a parcel when
the Rhine steamers do not go, prevented Mr. Wright
forwarding that, and also the books you so kindly sent
Fanny, for which she sends her love and best thanks, —
they will be a treat as her little stock is quite exhausted
now.
How we missed you ! Though it could scarcely be
called a glance : as the packet went smoking down the
Rhine, we felt as if left upon a desert island, and walked
back to look at our untouched luncheon, sad and silent
We then said to each other, " What shall we do ? " and
both agreed we must " go out a-pleasuring," — so off we
set to take coffee at a roadside wine-house at Mettemich ;
we walked up a steep hill through a pretty wood, and
took by surprise a beautiful plot of large purple wild
crocuses, which covered an open space at the top ; they
seemed out of place and season, and so did we. We
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MEMORIALS OF THOMAS HOOD. 131
brought home all our handkerchiefs full, and they lasted
in water very long, as if for a souvenir of the day,—
that was our last excursion from home, till we went to
the Lurlei; for Hood, getting better, set to work — it
was then " all work and no play," but I do not recollect
seeing him get through it better — he finished with good
spirits, and boiled over afterwards with some droll sketches
for the work I told you of. Talking of boiling, I must,
in self-conceit, say that I am improving decidedly in my
cooking, having started several things lately ^^ in the fancy
line." Yesterday morning I set to work very seriously
to make some potted beef, and succeeded, little thinking
what ungrateful jests I should draw upon my poor head
from Hood.
Being proud of my own fabrication, I produced it at
tea, when De Franck came, and then commenced the
jokes of the good-for-nothing. He asked with apparent
interest, how it was made, and I said, ^ I pounded it in a
pestle and mortar." ^ But, then, dear, we have not got
one, you know."
In short, he insisted that, like the Otaheitan cooks, I
had chewed it small ; and as I happened, having the face-
ache, to put my hand to my jaw at the time, it seemed a
corroboration, of which he made full use. Upon this
hint, he huddled joke upon joke, till we were convulsed
with laughter, and to-day Franck declares he laughed in
the middle of the night. Hood called it '< Bullock jam,"
and when I asked him what he would eat, he replied
" what you chewiP To be sure, an ox here, after he has
been in his time a plough-horse, a dray-horse, and a
horse of all-work, might give an Ogress the face-ache.
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132 MEMOBULS OF THOMAS HOOD.
I have also attempted a mince-pie on a large scale, which
was ^80 relished that the baker abstracted half the con-
tents before it was baked. Talking of mince-meat, the
Lieutenant tells us a very active poison has been discov-
ered in German black-puddings, of course from the blood
being in a bad state. There have been several martyrs.
This bit of information is aimed at the Doctor, — Hood
hopes it would hit him in the stomach.
Hood desires me to say he will write to you without
expecting you to be a correspondent, but there is at pres-
ent no news worth postage. He is busy collecting mate-
rials, which Head has let slip out of his head. • • •
Did you ever hear of bathing in malt ? It is a German
remedy. You see written up here, '* Beer Brewery, and
Bath House," — Hood will have it they bathe in the
beer. As you recommend porter sometimes, he sends
you this hint, and of course, as Head insists, the patient
will take care " to put the head under," with the mouth
open ; pray prescribe it, perhaps an object that went in
white and meagre, would come out " brown stout ; " he
thinks little children may be done in the small beer.
Dr. B. is going to London in the summer, he said to
me when my eye was bad, **Li Germanee we do cure
everything, all but Death, that is the divine law." We
asked him how they cured the typhus fever, and he said,
" Oh ! to be sure with cold water I " De Franck says,
some time back, they prescribed the same remedy for
everything, and every pump in the place was an apothe-
cary.
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MEMORIALS OF THOMAS HOOD. 133
Pray accept our best thanks, and kindest regards, and
believe me,
My dear Mrs. Elliot,
Yours very sincerely,
Jane Hood.
The steam-packets commenced coming up the Bhine
to-day, and the bridge is up again. One seems more
comfortable at these signs of better weather, though it
may be long ere the Dampschifife bring any friends to us,
and seldom that we cross the bridge. Hood and De
Franck are talking of wonders they are to do in the fish-
ing line (not meant for a pun). The perch are very fine
and at St. Groar we saw the salmon jump, and they say
they are to be caught with a line. I think Hood is lay-
ing out for more than he will have time for : he must, if
he has health, travel for his new book ; and then the other
G)mic will have to come out earlier if possible.
I have been amused during my needle-hours by Hood
reading some French books, which we get at a library
here, but they have no more, so that the stock is almost
run through. When I read the.Athenseum I long to see
the new books spoken of. I could re%h the sweepings
even of Mr. Dilke's study; there are several libraries
here, but no English books. I have quite a thirst for
new books, we often speculate on how we shall behave
on our return to England.
Hood's is rather a greedy style — he says he will stop
at some coffee-house directly he lands and have some
hread and cheese and porter, and, then he will call at Wil-
liams' noted shop at the Old Bailey for boiled beef.
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134 MEMOBIALS OF THOMAS HOOD.
This is shockinglj John Bullish, is it not? M7 dear lit-
tle boy splutters out with much anger Gradle's washing
of bones, with fried onions and potatoes, which she calls
soup. The other day she took him to the butcher's with
her — on their return while talking with her, I saw him
looking distressed, and quite heaving with something odi-
ous to him, and upon inquiry, I found he had got some
brown bread given him by the butcher's frau, with fat-
skimmings of the water they boil their sausages in, spread
like butter upon it I felt very angry. However he
shows such signs of a good spirit of his own, that I think
he will not submit to such feedings as that again.
I hope that your dear little baby goes on well, and
that your fine boys are flourishing around you. Willie
must have enjoyed all the novelties you had to tell him.
Children of intellect are delightful listeners, I think—
only sometimes their questions are puzzling and difficult
to answer.
Have you seen anything of the new residents at Lake
House ? If you have, speak of them when you write
next. Heaven send they have the taste to leave that
lovely garden untouched, of which I cannot help think-
ing with regret, and also the drawing-room: the house
has been repaired, we have heard. Pray write soon,
remembering that your last bears date October 14th.
Tell us all about yourselves, and the children. You
cannot tell what a treat letters are to us, especially after
the long famine we have endured.
Think of this and of the poor exiles, and write, write,
write to far Germany. I mean to be so gay as to go to
the play here, which is three times a week. They play
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MEMORIALS OF THOMAS HOOD. 135
an opera called the "Zampfer," which is very fine
music, they say; and they finish early, which is very
pleasant for me, who cannot depend upon Gradle's care
of the children.
I must conclude, as the post-time nears. Please give
our compliments to Mr. Maiden. Grod bless you all.
The best wishes of the season to you.
Believe me ever, my dearest Mrs. Elliot,
Your affectionate finend,
Jane Hood.
372, Oastob Hor, Zlst January, 1886.
My deab Wright,
We have been anxiously waiting to see our promised
parcel, and as it has not come at this present writing, I
have made up my mind to let you know, fearing it may
have stuck at some of the custom houses on its way
through. Should it have been despatched, pray let us
have all the particulars, that I may try to recover it
You may, however, have heard of the ice ; if so, and it
has deterred you from sending, I am now able to tell you
that the ice is all gone, our bridge will be up again, if it
is not already, and the papers announce that the Ektne
steamboats will start for the season to-morrow.
I have been very anxious — for except your last be-
fore Christmas, we have only had the hack letters, and
those by Mrs. L , which came to us on New Year's
Eve. I long to know what luck my book has had. It
seems odd to me not to have seen the Comic yet ; but
judging from the fragments sent, which I had not time to
look at before I last wrote, it is excellently got up on all
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136 MEMORIALS OF THOMAS HOOD.
hands, myself included. The cuts come very well in*
deed, and the text seems very correct : quite as much so
as / could have made it. As this is only a business
letter, I must refer to the Dilkes for ps^rticularities as to
our domestic concerns,' they have each had long epistles.
I think I told you De Franck is come back for good.
He fishes, and means to fish more, in the Rhine and Mo-
selle, as there are really good fish ; both sport and profit
may be looked for here (where we are very badly off for
sea-fish, even salted). Perch, Barbel, Roach, Jack, and
higher up, even Salmon, and a peculiar fish, not English :
rod and line fishing is free. De Franck wants a few
things, and I want an outfit for bait fishing, I do not pretend
to troll, or throw a fly ; do as you judge best for me. Pray
do not forget to send me plenty of blocks, as I shall have
much use for them — I have, however, a present supply.
I do much wish, and almost hope you may come this
spring. You may pay in London, per the " Batavier,"
the whole fare here, which is the cheapest way ; with lib-
erty of staying at any place on the road a few days, as at
Rotterdam, Nimeguen, or Cologne, and then on again.
Should you come, I project some pedestrian rambles, in-
land — to see the people and country. — I know enough
German now to get along like tie.
I keep my health tolerably well, and hope to be better.
The winter has tried us all with colds, coughs, face-aches,
&c., and Tom has had the measles, but mildly. As 011a-
pod recommends, I am taking my "spring physic** —
(N. B. I am my own M. D.) — and mean to go into men-
tal and bodily training for a good campaign. It is a great
thing for us, De Franck's return, in every sense, for he
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MEMORIALS OF THOMAS HOOD. 137
will save us from a great deal of imposition, of which the
honest Germans hereabout are too fond. And he is a
very good fellow as a companion, without thinking that
he is our only on^. I must cut this short, for Franck is
come, and we have to get him to scold Gradle, and give
her warning. She gave us a message from her priest,
and when we sent her out with the chicks this morning,
Fhe took them to church. So we mean to protest as good
Protestants, and Jane is quite a Luther at it My kind
regards to Mrs. Wright, and all of your name, and all
friends of other names. Kiss my Grodson, and " Prosit
neu jahr I " from
Dear Wright, yours ever truly,
Thos. Hood.
P. S. Postage is not dear. Pray let us know how
matters go on. We have not the thousand and one occu-
pations and acquaintances, and so on, to divert our anxie-
ties like those of your great city: and molehills seem
mountains. Franck swears that potted beef story kept
him laughing all night. " Ah Chied ! "
At Hxkr Dbcbbl'8,
762, Alten Gbaben, Coblekz, June 20^, 1886.
My dear Dilke,
Many, many thanks for your letter, and the kind in-
terest and trouble it evidences on my behalf* They are
such as I might have expected from the best and last
friend I saw in England, and the first I hope to meet
again. ♦ • ♦ •
We are in much better lodgings, at the same oosty
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138 HEMOBIALS OF THOMAS HOOD.
thoagh our address, literally translated, is at " Mr. Dev-
il's, in the Old Grave." We are now near the Moselle
bridge, in a busy, amusing street, but out of the town in
three minutes' walk.
We did not part with Miss Seil without some serio-
comic originality in her struggles between extortion and
civility. One moment she kissed Jane like a sister, and
the next began a skirmish. First came Suspicion that,
as we left a little before the time agreed on, we would
not pay up to it Satisfied on that point, Content fell to
kissing. Then Memory suggested we had broken two
or three old chairs and a glass, but finding we had re-
placed or sent them to be mended ourselves, she fired a
-fresh salute. Away we went, and then, Avarice prompt-
ing, she sent a volley of chairs, &c., we had not broken,
to be repaired, and requested the use of the rooms.
That promised so soon as we should have cleared out
and cleaned up, she fell to compliments again ; but snif-
fing that she meant to whitewash, repair, and brush up
at our cost, we were obliged, in self-defence, to hold the
keys. Thereupon she had the locks picked, and set to
work, and hinted she would favour me with the bills.
So I entered into the correspondence, and as she had
sent Jane a quantity of notes in Grerman, I thought it
only fair to give her one in English, which I knew she
must carry half over the town to get translated, and then,
I fear, it will not be very fiattering. I pointed out to
her that she had no right to both rooms and rent, and as
picking locks is a grave offence in Prussia, she must
have, and had, presumed on a foreigner's ignorance of
its laws. This has shut her mouth, and stopped the bills.
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MEMORIALS OF THOMAS HOOD. 139
and also the billing, Gradle marched on the Ist of
March (military again), and, I am sorry to say, made a
bad end. First, as Tom didn't at all want physic, she
showed, or let him find his way (whilst his mother wa^
out) to the cupboard " wot holds the honey-pot." Sec-
ondly, having " vained de Bibi," she did her best to un-
vain him again, and set him roaring all at once afler his
"Mutter." Thirdly, as Fanny had the face-ache, she
opened all the windows directly our backs were turned,
and, haying taken a fit of cleanliness, she was busy one
day brushing down the dust from the ceiling and walls
over Missis's gowns. She had warning for the 1st of
March, but, as Jane is as unlucky as " Joe," * this of all
years was leap year. It is too certain the dear departed
made a per-centage on everything she bought for us, I
declined to sign a certificate of honesty Vertue had given
her, so she cast her eyes on Joseph, the carpenter, whom
she got to marry her, induced by the fortune of a " bibi "
two years old, and 150 dollars saved out of the 60 she
had received from Vertue and us. Joseph's mother,
whom he j)artly supported, dying opportunely the day
before she left us, the wedding was fixed for the fort-
night after the funeral; but, owing to some mysterious
interdict of the priest, did not take place till a fortnight
later.
We have now a servant with a seven years' character,
and the consequence is everything is much cheaper,
albeit she is not a good bargainer. Of course, though
we do not quarrel, we have plenty of misunderstandings.
♦ " Unlucky Joe," is the best cliaracter in my father's novel, " Tyl-
neyHalL" — T. H.
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X40 MEMOBIALS OP THOMAS HOOP.
We have changed our butcher, and gained a penny per
pound ; ditto laundress, and saved nearly a dollar a week.
In short, Jane, whatever be her political principles, is a
practical reformer; and' I look on with a Conservative
eye, lest the spirit of change should go on madly too &r,
and I be SkelUmed like the rest
By the bye, I do not wonder at the separation of that
worthy couple, the s. I should rather think they
never met — or, at least, only like the Rhine and Mo-
selle, which show a very decided inclination to keep
themselves to themselves from the first moment of union*
Jane and I, however, take the warning, and shall be par-
ticularly careful of quarrelling, as she has not ^ a piano "
to be the harmonious means of bringing us together
again.
As for "chimney ornaments" (except a very tall,
long-nosed gentleman in black, remarkably like our
English " devil," who sweeps for all Coblenz), we have
not even a chimney-piece. The climbing boy here is
really one of the finest men in the place. He sweeps
the chimney, — the long iron pipes of the ^stoves are
cleared by a live Friesland hen, a sort of fowl which
has its feathers turned back the wrong way. When she
is in the pipe a fire is made, and the heat forces her to
make her way into the chimney with the soot among her
ruffled feathers. She then cries *' grauchschlacht ! " which
is the German for " all up ! " and this is at least as true
as some bits of Yon Baumer.
I am writing this gossip partly to amuse Mrs. Dilke
The barber-surgeon I settled with thus : He wrote thai
in consideration that I might not be able to afford it, ht
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MEMORIALS OF THOMAS HOOD. 141
consented to take one dollar instead of two. To which I
replied, that I merely resisted an imposition, and should
hand over the difference to the poor. This I did to the
poor of Arzheim, near Ehrenbreitstein, where 280 have
suffered from scarlet fever ; and a subscription was opened
by public appeal from the over-burgomaster of Cob-
lenz, and is now closed, after two months' collection,
having raised twelve pounds ! — a smallish amount for a
city containing a governor-general, two commandants,
over and under-presidents, ditto burgomasters, and about
twenty-five to thirty carriage families, and many rich
tradesmen : but these are anything but the honest, con-
scientious, liberal, orderly, warm-hearted, intellectual
Germans we give the country just credit for. The
Coblenzers have other attributes. To return to my leech-
gatherer, I do not intend to want^again either physician
or apothecary. I am no believer in astrological conjunc-
tions, but I must insist on a sinister aspect in that case.
A Jew doctor playing into the hands of his brotheiMn-law,
the apothecary, who has been described beforehand by
" Gil Bias," viz. : " He goes strictly to mass, but at the
bottom of his heart he is a Jew, like Pilate, for he has
become Catholic through interest.**
As Jews must not be apothecaries here, and Hebrews
do not forgive apostacy in their own brothers even, I fear
their good understanding must be allowed to be ominous.
Now for a bit of farce in one of the same tribe. He
came to me to draw up an advertisement for him in
English, on the strength of which, I suppose, he has set
up here as Professor of Philosophy and 3nglish.
Frai^ck Tmows an officer who has learned^ and he cannot
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142 MEMORIALS OF THOMAS HOOD.
understand his English at all. The officer will have his
revenge when he has to drill the Professor! We are
now more au fait here, but we have to fight every inch.
I am now in health and spirits and do not mind it ; but I
wish, for the sake of the lovely country I am now able
to enjoy, I could come to other conclusions. I am not
writing from spleen or prejudice, or resentment at the
loss of money, but to give you my cool and deliberate
impressions for your guidance; and a resident has pe-
culiar opportunities for observation. Prejudice be
hanged ! and I will help to pull its legs. But I want fair
play for my countrymen, against whom there is much
illiberal feeling, which is the more annoying, because
Germans from other parts, who think well of us, are
surprised to find opinion against us on the Rhine where
it would be presumed we are so well known. As a
sample of what I mean, there is Schreiber's sketch of
" Die Englander in Baden " referred to in your No. 431
of the # Athenseum," which I wish had fallen to my lot
to review. I would have answered him with facts. The
charge that the rectitude of many of the English is not to
be uniformly depended upon is a grave one, on which I
might retort fairly from my own experience as equivalent
to his; and choose for my motto, in a new sense, '^Be-
ware — for there are counterfeits abroad^ With few
exceptions judging from those I have had to do with, I
should put them in two great classes — Jew Germans, and
German Jews. It may seem a harsh verdict, but it ia forced
upon me. As for the English quarreUing about coach-
men's fares, &c., it is hardly worthy a traveller to squab-
ble about petty over-charges, but extortions may become
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MEMORIALS OF THOMAS HOOD. 143
too gross and palpable to put up with. There is all along
shore here, now-a-days at least, a sharking, grasping ap-
petite, which growing by what it feeds on, has become
ogre-like ; and knowing the English to be rich, they have
not known where, prudently, or with good policy, to stop.
There was a colonel here, the other day only, crying out,
naturally, at being charged in this cheap country five
shillings for a bed ; the landlord of the hotel in question
chose at the Carnival to burlesque an English family
travelling : he has told me, the EngHsh are by far his
best customers, but the ridicule was congenial to the spirit
of the inhabitants. The truth is, we are marked for
plunder ; and laughed at, for the facility with which we
are plucked, as if it were a matter of ditiSculty to cheat
those, who in some degree confide in you — for we do
genially set forth with a strong prepossession in favour
of Grerman honesty. I believe in it myself, but not here,
where the very peasantry (whom I like) seem to lose it.
The other day a woman, who used to sell us a sort of
curd cheese, taking advantage of Fanny, who carried the
money, took six instead of three groschen, and has never
since put in an appearance. Again, a man, who left a
flower for Jane's approval, who declined it, called for it
over night quite drunk, took it away, brought it back
next morning, and made her pay for it because a bud
was broken ! these two are within ten days. Schreiber
taunts residents like ourselves with " a petty and ridicu-
lous economy,*' but it is mere resistance to extortion
directed pointedly against the English. I never will
concede that the rule, that we are to be robbed, only be-
cause we are, or are supposed to be, rich, is anything but
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14i MEMORIALS OF THOMAS HOOD.
a brigand feeling. Yet so it is. There is a separate
tariff, well-understood, and tacitly acted upon, so that 70a
shall see an English and German gentleman sitting at
the same table d'hdte, eating the same dinner, and drink-
ing, the same wine, but at very different cost I It is quite
a freemasonry, and the very figures in the carU stand
for several amounts. One night we sent for a bill of
fare for supper, and De Franck pointed out to me roast
beef, (in English) four groschen, and directly under it,
the same dish, (in German) three groschen. These
things are somewhat repulsive to those who happen to
be their guests, should they chance to find besides that
their character is attacked as unfairly as their purse. I
hnoiD that they retail stories about us, which have false-
hood on the face of them, such as the Bible story in
Schreiber, which is altogether out of keeping. As to
our getting into rows arid trespassing, I used to watch
the steamer's arrival, and never saw a disturbance, but
with a German lady, accused by the steward of secreting
a spoon. But that Englishmen might get into rows I
think very possible, and natural; I expect it myself.
The lower class, not mere thieves and vagabonds like
Londoners, but apprentices, workmen, and boys almost
well-dressed, are blackguardly disposed.
Fishing has brought me in contact with them. I have
never been without annoyance, and it is positively unsafe
to stand within pelt of the Mosel bridge. Those ofiicers,
who have taken to it after our example at Ehrenbreit-
stein, have positively had to post men to defend them
from large sticks and stones. I hope, as the clown says,
here be facts. Good or bad politically, the making all
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HEMOBIALS OF THOMAS HOOD. 145
men soldiers serves to lick these cubs into human shape ;
it makes them cut their hair, wash themselves, and be-
have decently, in fact as Fuckler Muskau says, the men,
who have served, and those who have not, are different
animals indeed. I wish I could with honesty write more
in the tone of Mrs. Trollope, whose book, by the way, I
have just read; but although so treadey, it does not
please the natives. Heaven knows why, for she does not
object to one thing in Prussia, but the smoking. She is
however, wrong there in one pointy as may be gathered
from the pretty strong sentiments she puts into the
mouths of the German girls against pipes. A likely
matter when they have been used to sniff " bizch/ " from
the &ther, who took them first on his knees, to the broth-
er they played with.
On the contrary, and quite the reverse, they embroider
tobacco bags for presents to the young gentlemen as
English girls knit purses. But so Anti-English a writer
as Mrs. T., who never omits an opportunity of letting
down her countrymen, might be expected to be blind to
the Anti-English feeling abundant in these parts. There
is no doubt of its existence, I manage to read their pa-
pers, and the tone is the same.
Extracts for example headed, " Distress in ^tch Eng-
land." Like ^the haughty Isle of shopkeepers," a
phrase made use of by Schreiber. *Tis the mark of
the beast; they covet our riches, they resent our politi-
cal influence, and perhaps are jealous of the distinction
shown to the English in some of the highest quarters.
In spite of Raiimer (a Jewel by the way) I think the
spirit enters into our commerce.
VOL. I. 7 '/^ T
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146 IfEMORIALS OF THOMAS HOOD.
The merchant here, I had jour wine of, said he did
not hope for anj redaction of our duties on their wines,
because the Prussian Tariff is so very unfavourable to
us. Our goods are in request, so that even they simu-
late English labels, &c, &c., but I think their introduc-
tion is not coveted by the powers. My little package
was detained some time at the frontier, on the frivolous
pretext, that the weight of every article, a fish-hook for
instance, was not specified. I believe the tariff is also
adverse to French and Italians; all I know is, many of
their products are bad and dear : say, oranges from two
pence halfpenny to Sd. a piece ; salad oil dear and exe-
crable, &c, &C. And now to Schreiber again ; I take
his for my text-book, because he represents the mass.
Their usual ridicule of our habits, &c., might fairly and
with interest be retaliated. For instance an Englishman
with coat-pockets " big enough to hold a couple of folios^
is no more ridiculous a figure than a German with ditto
capacious enough for a pipe and a bag of tobacco ; but
this far from unusual sneer at our literary and reading
propensity is somewhat misplaced in Intellectual Ger-
many the country of Goethe, A book here seems a bug-
bear. I think I told you of the remark of the Jew Doc-
tor on seeing a " Times " paper ; in the same style my
new Doctor took up the " Athenaeum," supposing it to be
a monthly.
When I said, " weekly," he threw up his hands and
eyes, and wondered how we found time for it. Time,
however, is the thing least wanted here, for they do not
live at our rate, and consequently have more leisure ; but
it is not ^^ learned leisure," from simple want of will.
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MEMORIALS OF THOMAS HOOD. 147
They prefer the Virgmian to other leaves, — and vol-
umes of smoke.
The ^ Bhein mid Mosel Zeitung " supplies them with
abundant reading, and its standing articles, probably
therefore favorite ones, are on beet-root, sugar, and rail-
roads.
Their talk is of thalers, thalers, thalers, except when
they smoke in the hotels of a night, or at the Casino, and
then the Quakers could not hold a more silent Conversa-
zione.
Galignani is prohibited, and the only English papers
allowed are the " Globe," " Courier," and the "Albion,"
or some such name. So much for the Intellectuals. Per-
sonally I cannot complain, for a Colonel has translated
my Eugene Aram for his wife, having heard of it through
Bulwer's novel : Bulwer (who is a demi-god here) and
the Pfennig Magazine, and native works on medicine
and' mechanical arts, are the main bulk advertised here,
but I guess not much sold. Another fact, and I quit the
subject. The extorting spirit is known and admitted by
some of the better class — Jane, at request from the other
side, has formed a very agreeable intimacy with a Miss
von B , who was educated at Nieuwied, and speaks
tolerable English. She volunteered to accompany Jane to
buy anything, saying she knew the English were imposed
on, and informed her that her late father, a lieutenant-
general, paid Dr. at the rate of ten silber groschen
or a shilling a visit He charged me forty-five, or four
shillings and sixpence a visit, for being an Englishman.
What follows is, I think, conclusive as to what I have
said of a sort of free-masonry, &c I happened to doubt
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148 MEMORIALS OP THOMAS HOOD.
whether the majors and captains here could afford to keep
up such equipages on their pay, when F referred me
to another officer (of ancient Polish family), I have met,
and he frankly told me that they could. But supposing a
major with family, &c., to make a certain appearance, and
live in a certain style on his pa^2000 dollars, I must at
onee for the same things set down 1000 more for being an
Englishman.
It follows that tradesmen, inn-keepers, all who have
to do with the English, exact a profit of 33 per cent.
extroy and yet cannot be pleased with their customers.
Suppose somb English Schreiber, in inditing a sketch
of the German watering-places, were to adopt the por-
tentous text of " take care of your pockets." ♦ Suppose
he were to end his book with a sarcastic hint of Sir
Peter Teazle's, "I must go, but I leave my character
behind mel" I give you the facts, because in the
Athenaeum you are sometimes called upon as a judge,
between the natives of both countries, as in Schreiber's
case. I do not i/^ant, like Jonathan in England, '^ a war,
and all on my own account," nor, Irish-like, to whiten
the English by blackening the Grermans. Above all,
I speak only of what I have seen and know, or have
heard from good witnesses, and my locale is Coblenz;
though the same thing may prevail on the other routes
* My father enlarged on this text in " Up the Bhine," where he
gives a song, one verse of which I extract — T. H.
" Ye TonristB and Travellers bound to the Rhine,
Provided with passport, that requisite docket,
First listen to one little whisper of mine.
Take care of your pocket ! Take care of your pocket I "
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MEMOBIALS OF THOMAS HOOD. 149
of the English, pro ex: Baden. It is for you that I
have set it down, and I beg you to believe, in no spite,
or resentment,' or prejudice ; but to put you on your V
guard, and prepare you for perhaps a very altered
state of things on the Rhine, not belonging more to
the natives than to human nature, except in degree.
But I wished justice for my countrymen, and disclaim
personal vengeance, though I confess to have felt irrita-
tion. The tone of my book will be quite otherwise,
I know it is unwelcome to read as to write such pas-
sages, and especially to introduce such actors on such
a stage, with the Rhine and its mountains for the scene-
ry. And moreover there is good and beautiful and
whimsical to discourse of pleasantly, so pray read the
foregoing in the same spirit that its author writ, and
then hand over the substance of my remarks to the
censor to be used "as occasion may require." Fair
play is a jewel, and I like to see it set in the " Athe-
naeum. Besides I do not know your Editor personally,
but I suspect him of a little over-leaning towards the
Germans. I picture him with " an awful fell of hair,"
and a serio-comico-metaphysico-romantico visage, mould-
ed in brown bread made rather heavy, a big body made
dropsically corpulent by fattening on thin wine, and
a pair of stout legs of no 'particular shape, on which
he partly walks, partly marches, having been drilled
when a student. Like Pope and Cowper, and others
of the learned, he wears a cap ; but with a conceited
cock on one side, and hangs a tassel from its apex.
On his forefinger, a huge ring with an engraved stone or
glass, that might serve Mrs, von D at a pinch for
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150 MEMORIALS OF THOMAS HOOD.
a jellTmoald ; and he has chains enough on his bosom
to hang him in. His waistcoat seems cut out of the
train of Iris's court-dress, set off hj a snuff-brown coat,
and sad-green breeches — a sort of hybrid between a
peacock and Minerva's fowl — grave and gaudy. When
he eats, he prefers after soup the meat that was boiled in
it — a mere residuum — like the patent ginless bread of
Pimlico. He seasons it with mud-coloured mustard. He
drinks a wine so sharp, that like the ^ Accipe Hock " of
the Templar, it pierces your very vitals. When he is
awake he dreams, when he is asleep he snores music,
that, as Zelter says, by its very noise, " reminds you of
the universal silence I " If he look pensive it is because
he cannot &thom the immeasurable, grasp the infinite, or
comprehend the incomprehensible. Should he be a little
cracked he writes — when he gets purblind he paints,
and you have the portrait of his mistress the Muse, as a
little old woman with red toads dropping out of her
mouth. Poet or Painter, he tries to be sublime, and
makes a monster a " most ridiculous monster," or rather
a herd of monsters, and makes them act monstrously,
like the fantastic shadows in Carpenter's microscope,
snpposmg you had mixed their drop of water with a
ditto of brandy. If he smiles, it is with the idea of
" reading much, learning much, and dying young ! " hj
a horse-pistol with a leaf out of Bettine for wadding.
Whilst he smokes he pastoralises ; drunk, he moralises ;
sober, he romanticises; mad, he philosophises. There,
Wolfgang von Dilke, there 's a rally a la Randall, in
return for your fighting me up into a German comer.
By the bye your notices made me long to read Von
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MEMOBIALS OF THOMAS HOOD. 151
Haumer's England. It must be a capital book, but me-
tbinks he is apt to make azure of Prussian blue. Yet
when I spoke of him here to our doctor, he seemed not
to like him, and said he was considered a Jacobin. For
example, too much credit is taken as to their contented
and tolerant clergy. For instance, here^ this is a Catho-
lic province ; the magistrates and a few more Lutherans
must tolerate perforce a whole population nearly of un-
reformed. Prussia is formed of many provinces, some
oughts, and some crosses, like the old game on the slate,
and to be intolerant would be only to set one province
against another, " hey dog — hey bull ! " so that it
would be dangerous for one party to tyrannise over the
other.
A thing occurred here the other day that made a
great sensation: the priest or cur^ refused to bury a
drawing-master, who professed, but had not attended, his
church, for many years. He said he was forbidden by
the rules of the Council of Trent. The Lutheran min-
ister was applied to, who buried him at once, and as it is
usual to preach a funeral sermon for each defunct, the
following Sunday his church was crowded with Catholics,
Jews, and all denominations, who were eager and curious
to hear how he would treat the subject. He preached a
good temperate sermon on the text ^< Judge not, that ye
be not judged," which made a great impression. The
plan here, which is good, is that of both religions the
ministers are paid by the King or State, an arrangement
I should like for England and Ireland, — or let every
one pay their own, as in America. As to Education, I
think our Grovemment does wisely not to interfere too
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152 MEMORIALS OF THOMAS HOOD.
rashly. Something may be left to the sense of the peo-
ple. The infamous boarding-schools of former times are
dying or dead, and replaced by proprietary ones without
Grovemment interference. K they meddle, let it be to
reform Oxford, and the like ; and, least of all, let us
have the School a dependant on the Church, — with a
Parson-Usher in each, preaching and teaching Glerman
philosophical ^ spiritualism," and " illumination and sano-
tification," which ^ reaches far beyond steam-engines and
hydraulic presses."
But even Yon Raumer is not reliable. Gome lay your
Frankfort hand, just above your Heidelberg or Darmstadt
stomach, on your Dresden heart, and tell us with your
Munchen mouth, do you really believe the story of the
factory boy's lament for pigs and poetry ? Did you ever
with your Ingelheimer eyes, on the Royal Birthday in
London, see the innumerable children with flowers and
flags, or hear with your Langen Schwalbach ears their
chorus of " God save the King " ? Again did you never
hear with your Berlin auriculars, that row of street
blackguard boys notorious throughout Grermany, and
characteristic of the Prussian capital, which Yon R. with
his national taste for music calls ^the prattle of little
children"?
As for his quizzes on our cookery (Mrs. Dilke, I am
appealing to you and your old cook, who went away and
is come back again), is English soup so sloppy that it
must hide its weakness by a covering of pepper and
spice ? Lord help the man ! he has been souping with
the Sick Poor ! I never saw any soup or broth in Eng-
land but when cold was a perfect jelly, ^ as you might
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MEMORIALS OF THOMAS HOOD. 153
chuck over the house." As for his pepperless rice soup,
chacun a son gaui^ but was not Bedreddin Hassan cap-
itally sentenced for not putting pepper in a cream-tart ?
What does he mean by the ^ monotony of our roast beef,
roast mutton, roast veal " ? Why should not roast beef
be roast beef, and always roast beef, like " the bill, the
whole bill, and nothing but the bill ? " I like that de-
cided style. Is it any better for being, as here, roast
horse, or with rank oil, or turned butter, sometimes like
roast " sea horse " ? Is Williams's boiled beef any the
worse for being only boiled beef, is it better for being
here like land stock-fish ? Is our roast veal worse than
theirs ? — how they roast it is a culinary miracle, unless
OB a lark spit Their seven-day calves, and seven-year
porkers ought, according to Lamb's celebrated wish
about his sister, to *^ throw their joint existences into one
common heap ! " I defy you to eat their roast mutton
here, without scriptural reminiscences of rams, and burnt
offerings. And then for his sauce about our one sauce
for fish, don't they make pickled salmon of everything
with scales, fresh or salt, with vinegar, vinegar, vinegar ?
As for his twaddle about Phidias and Praxiteles being
French cooks, and his comparison of our joints to ^ an
Egyptian divinity in simple dignified repose, vnlh arms
and legs closely pinioned in the same position I " (he has
mistaken a trussed turkey for a round of beef or a fiUet
of veal) I will only say a village jobbing carpenter would
be ashamed of such a style! Egyptian indeed! don't
they poison everything with garlic, and consume Egyp-
tian wages (onions) enough to build a new set of pyra^
mids ? Now for his Linnseus and Jussieu, if our vege-
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154 MEMOBIALS OF THOMAS HOOD.
tables do '' appear in puns naturalibus," is it not better
than if thej were in ^tVnpuris naturalibus," full of
^ snips and snails/' and the huge red slugs that crawl
about here, in size and shape looking like live German
sausages I How do they dress vegetables ! Why make
salads of them first, and then boil them, or vice versa, I
do believe the " Devil sends cooks," and they are Ger-
man ones. The French are artists, the Germans are
da/uhers in cookery. They are (in all that is grub-berly)
lubberly, blubberly, and in regard to cleanliness, not over
Bcrubberly I "Was n't I nearly choked once by fishbones
amongst a dish of fried potatoes ? 'T is fact, and did n't I
see a starved dog refuse to take the place and portion
of a German gentleman unexpectedly absent from his
accustomed place at the table d'hdte ? Yon Dilke be
hanged! Catch him having a German cook at the
Clarence I Haven't their own doctors discovered that
their sausages contain an active poison, and is not every
one of their messes a slow one ? I will stand up for our
English kitchen, especially now Jane is a cook in it.
Vive Dr. Kitchener I if he isn't dead: and an echo
responds from Diisseldorf, very like Mrs. L 's voice,
*'Vive Dr. Kitchener!" When she last wrote to Jane
she was watching a hash with one eye, according to his
<< oracle." Ask Head about German cookery, he says
their sauces are always either sour or greasy, but I have
gone a step beyond his experience, they can be sour and
greasy too. And now for a triumphant clincher as to
the respective merits of German and English cookery.
There is a sort of mesalliance that occurs in England
sometimes ; nay I know personally of an instance, for W.
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MEMOBIALS OF THOMAS HOOD. 155
C. married the woman that dressed his dimier,bat I have
now before me ^' Der Preussiche Staat, in alien seinen
Yeziehungun," an authentic work, and I cannot find one
instance of a German, who married his cook. This is
not prejudice but statistics I But don't let this frighten
you, Mrs. Dilke, from coming here, lest jou should have
to feast on pommes de terre Jrites. Jane can stew, and
boil, and roast, and bake. You should hear her battering
her beef-steaks, as if thej were the children, or see Tom
walk in with his little wig powdered or floured, from his
mother-sick fit having interfered with her fit of pigeon-
piety. You should hear De Franck congratulating her
on her high health, or Miss von B. on her rosy English
complexion, when the real secret is fried chops. So I
speak not complainingly, but critically only, of the na-
tional cuisine.
You must come to the grand manoeuvres (end of
August), which will be well worth seeing. Better to
see than be bom to, say you. De Franck amused us
much with his description of drilling the Dominies.
Every man here must be a soldier, and two years is the
rule ; but the school-masters have the indulgence of cmly
six weeks of it But then in tho^e six weeks they are
expected to become as proficient as the ^^ tTiQ> year olds,"
and accordingly they are hard at it, soldiering ^from
mom till dewy eve" — the poor sedentariesi Franck
described them drawn up with round shoulders, bent
thighs, and other pedigogical attributes, so weak, and so
bewildered ! Sometimes an unlucky Dominie mounting
guard, has even to put up with the gibes, nay missiles, of
his quondam scholars, whom he cannot, for once, punish.
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156 BiEMOBIALS OF THOMAS HOOD.
Is it not laughable to picture to oneself? What a sub-
ject for me I I must make a new revolution at Stoke
Pogis, and let the mayor, having been up the Rhine, at-
tempt to form a Landwehr. You know the place Dilke,
just fancy Dominie Sampson, with a musket on his shoul-
der, standing at ease on Ehrenbreitstein.
Pray tell Mr. Reynolds* what he has escaped by being
bom, as Dr. Watts says, in a Christian land. He is an
excellent Mue, but would not turn up well with ^ed.
What a ^ six weeks' vacation ! " What a march of mind
for the schoolmasters abroad ! It must seem to them like
a nightmare dream, till assured of the reality, by feeling
instead of the long flowing locks, affected here by the
student, the bald regulation nape. The situation must
seem as bewildering as Dr. Pangloss' with a tulip-eared
bull puppy between his knees. Fancy Westminsterian
Braine learning the ^ brain-spattering art" Imagine Dr.
G mounting guard at the Mint, or Principal O
standing sentinel by the Regent's bomb, whistling '< Lawk
a' mercy on us, sure this be not I," with a pantomime
change, in the distance, of the London University into
Sandhurst College. Our doctor's son is doing duty as a
private in De Franck's regiment, so is the son of another
M. D., and they are under no slight apprehension of hav-
ing to carry a knapsack at the review. How should you
like a taste of that same? Imagine yourself wanting to
march in three divisions, in request by Lord Hill, Holmes,
and Mr. Jack Junk, at the same time. Fancy Wentworth
dancing at one of his mother's genteelest parties in the
uniform of a private of the Tower Hamlets. And what
* My grandfather, head writing-master at Gljrist's Hospital — T. H.
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MEMORIALS OF THOMAS HOOD. 157
a review yon would make ; mind, not a criticism. Your-
self, with your eye-glass, in the Rifles ; A. Cunningham
in the Grenadiers ; Chorley in the band ; H in the
Artillery; T a Lancer; the stout C in the
"Light Bobs;" and John F a "worthy Pioneer."
Alas ! for the " Athenaeum ! " Mrs. Dilke would have to
be a suttler ! By the bye we got our present lodgings in
spite of the captain of the — ^th, who would have given
five dollars a year more ; but his wife, a termagant, was
well known as the "suttler," (her nickname amongst
the military,) and our landlord would not have her
at no price. { hope Jane won't lower his rent still
further. ♦ * * ♦
There are some here, in appearance to the eye,
anything but gentlemen, in the best sense of the word.
You cannot mistake them.
Perhaps they have got the worst attributes of the
French Revolution, a nomincd equality, which puts the
low, base, vulgar, and rich on a false level with " God
Almighty's gentleman," which rank I do seek with all my
heart; and endeavour that the English character shall
not suffer at my hands, and though I resent, on public
grounds, what I meet with, I am content to be a dweller
here, whose character is to be judged by its own merits.
But I feel the question gravely, and recommend it to
your consideration. / may be prejudiced, but F is
a good witness. Give me credit for honesty, when he
tells you he as readily fights, what you may call, my
prejudices, as those of the Germans. After all, cui
bono, what I write? Why, after all, I appeal to the
"Athenaeum," because it is as free&om party and prejudice
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158 MEMOBIALS OF THOMAS HOOD.
as myself, and no more. There 's a hit for you, Big Ben,
in answer to your " write-hander."
Besides, it has, and mast have, an influence from its
honesty, impartiality, and ability, and therefore, with all
my humble three dittos, I endeavour to give it the benefit
of my views.
W y the other officer, says the same thing of the
Rhenishers.
He 'calls them ^m^chant," and says they are a much
better sort of people elsewhere. He says, moreover, that
some Germans, lately returned from Switzerland, have
made the observation, that the people th jre are corrupted
and deteriorated, in the same way as I judge them to be
partly here. There are two subjects which form handles
against us, and are rather favourite topics here, —
Ireland, — and the Duke of Wellington's remarks on the
discipline of the Prussian army, — which have provoked
much angry discussion.
As for Ireland, I am glad to see there is a chance of
righting her at last, but what a sorry figure do some of
the i^eers cut I
I have just got the Athenseum containing Eaumer.
He is very flattering to us in some things, but his true
picture of Ireland gives one pain, abroad, — to think
what foreigners must conceive of our wisdom or govern-
ment. I doubt, however, of the wisdom of returning for
a remedy to the good old times when '^ mendicant monks
imparted their goods to the poor." He learnt to buU in
Ireland, seemingly. Again, I do not clearly understand
whether the " unhappy nation that has been for four-and-
forty years seeking for liberty in all directions," refers to
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MEMORIALS OF THOMAS HOOD. 159
France or England. But^ in either ease, I do not
agree with his prescription of ^moderation, contented-
ness, and humility," by which I understand a sort of
waiters on Providence, gaping for "a thrice happy
Prussian's " condition, a " free, proprietary peasantry, —
a contented and tolerant clergy, and well educated youth,"
at the hands of the Tories or their equivalents. But I,
perhaps, misunderstand him, — the issue, being to be
Murrayan, gave me the impression. The two countries
are widely different ; what a good'^ abioLvte King can do
here, cannot be done with us. If our peasantry were
free and proprietary, I think they would work as hard, and
be as contented as the Germans. But the English labourer,
labour as he may, can but be a pauper ; and it seems a
little unreasonable to require him to sit at Hope's or
Content's table, eating nothing^ with the same cheerfulness
and gaiety as the barber's brother at the Barmecide's.
They have just carried by, in procession, with boys
two and two, a dead schoolmaster I Poor fellow; have
they drilled him to death, or is he a deserter by anticipa-
tion? What a new translation they have of ^eedant
arma togce!^ How would Othello's pathetic farewell
to arms read to a Prussian Pedagogue ? Methinks he
would have the black boy well horsed for it. Well I
poor * * * * is gone, and, parodying Coleridge's apos,
trophe on the death of the Dominie, ^' May he be wafted
to heaven by disembodied spirits that are no Corporals!^
I was very much amused the other day with
account of his taking an emetic
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160 MEMORIALS OF THOMAS HOOD.
He says he sat for an hour expecting natoraUj some-
thing would come of it, but nothing stirred.
It agreed with him just as well as if he had taken any
otiier wine than antimoniaL It was rather comfortable
than otherwise. So he had recourse to warm water, of
which he drank about a dozen large cups consecutively,
but they made themselves quite at home with the wine.
Then he tried tea, — in hopes of " tea and turn out," but
it staid with the wine and water. So he had recourse to
the warm water again, which staid still, and so did some
soup which he took on the top of all : and then, despair-
ing of the case, he went to bed with his corporation un-
reformedl Now, was not this a tenacious, retentive
stomach, so determined never to give up anything it had
acquired, good or bad; a lively type of a Tory! It
would make a nice littie &ble done into verse like Peter
Pindar's.*
We have had several littie excursions. One to the
Laacher Zee, amongst the volcanic mountains. We went
on Whit-Monday, but it ought to have been -4sA- Wed-
nesday, considering the soil of the road we went through.
Their proper scavengers would have been Cinderellas.
The walls and houses thereabouts are built with lava,
and the lake itself is supposed to occupy an extinct
crater. What a lovely, littie, secluded lake it is, em-
bosomed in trees, and perched on the crest of a mountain,
not like an eagle's nest, but a water ^' Roc^s." It is said
to be, in the middle, 200 yards deep, and the water is
^ It is not improbable that the emetio was rendered innocuous by
B *8 having been long used to German cookery, which had made a
modem Mithridates of him in this respect — T. H.
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MEMORIALS OF THOMAS HOOD. 161
supernatnrallj clear. We fished, but of course could
catch nothing, though there be huge Jack and Perch ;
in truth, as I could see my line from the top, of course
thej could see it at the bottom. There is a decayed
church and cloisters^ and the monkery and gardens afford
delightful residence. There is also a referendarius here
who does not care for it ; what a taste I He is seldom
there. It is a delicious spot I honour the olden monks
for the taste with which they pitched their tents. Me-
thought as I walked in their cloisters I could have been
willingly a Benedictine myself, especially when I saw a
pair of huge antlers over one of the doors, — like a sign
of " good venison within/* We have booked this place
for you to visit, when you come. Indeed, we thought of
you, at our ^ champ^tre," and drank your healths in our
wine, for as the " hospitallers " have quitted, we had to
carry our cold baked meats with us. The return was
through a country reminding me of some of the romantic
parts of Scotland, but on a larger scale, and more di-
versely wooded. Through mountain-passes, and by rapid,
winding, trout-streams, we suddenly came upon Tonnen-
stein; a little Brunnen in a lovely glen. I asked the
priestess (a buxom young damsel in a Cologne cap,
which you know is somewhat like a muslin soup-plate)
very gravely whether the water was good for a man
" with a wife and children," and she replied as gravely
in the affirmative, handing me. a glass of bui>lde without
squeak. With wine and sugar, it drinks like champagne^
but it is good neat But, Lord ! what an effervescing,
gunpowder plot of ground do we Germans live upon I I
scarcely seem safer than your brother at Chichester.
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162 HEMOBIALS OF THOMAS HOOD.
Every spring beneath us seems boiling hot, or boiling
colcL And if I was a freeholder, I should feel some
quakings in reckoning all between the sky and the eartfCs
centre as my own. I should certainly content myself
with tilling the upper crust of the soil instead of being
too curious in mining. Bless us all! should our Teu-
tonic Terra be seized with active inflammation in her
stomachic regions, instead of the evident chronic one she
suffers under ! If we have any living Saurians below, as
the Rev. Kerby opines, they must be salamanders. How
little do the infant Grermans,* with an eruption on all
their heads, dream of another that may happen under
their feet We have been once or twice to Lahnstein,
a favourite resort here, on the river Lahn, where we
have obtained the credit of fishing with " a spell," on
account of our success ; when the old native anglers
had failed, simply because we fished at the top and
they at the bottom. They have no notion of fiy-fishing.
The only attempt we ever saw was a Captain of Engi-
neers gravely fishing in the Moselle with a hackle^^
and a worm, at once ; but the infancy of his art may ex-
cuse the tops and bottoms. For the sake of Mrs. Dilke,
I must relate two adventures at Lahnstein, the first
almost as laughable as Mr. L ^*s. Whilst we were
fishing, all of a sudden I missed De Franck, — but spied
him at last up to his neck in the middle of two rocks be-
tween which he had slipped in jumping from one to
another. He made a strange figure when he came outy
* My father elsewhere remarked this prevalent peculiarity of the
German children's heads. It wonld seem to denote their Scandina-
vian origin, as descendants of the Scalds. — T« H.
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MEMOBIALS OF THOMAS HOOD. 163
— the best lay figare for a River-god imaginable, — for
Grerman sporting jackets have an infinity of pockets, and
there was a separate jet of water from every one, as well
as from his sleeves, trousers, and each spout of his
drowned moustachios (N. B. they 're very long). He
did not seem much improved, when, having gone to the
Inn, he returned in a suit of the landlord's, who, though
twice as tall, was not half so stout. However, we did
not care for appearances, for we thought nobody would
notice him, as it was not a holiday, and there was no
company. But we were mistaken. The landlord's dog
sniffed a robbery, and knowing his master's clothes again,
insisted on stripping the counterfeit, and was obliged to
be pulled off" vi et armis. The landlord was very much
distressed, and made a thousand apologies; and, to do
him justice, was a very obliging, honest, reasonable fel-
low, and certainly deserved to be paid better than with
his own money^ out of his ovm waistcoat pocket, by De
Franck, as we discovered afterwards. This was the
comic part, now for the tragic In the meanwhile, Jane,
whose legs are not so elephantine as they were, you will
readily suppose, made shift to scramble, with Miss Von
B , up to the ruined castle of Lahn-eck.
Having seen everything on its old ground-fioor, female
curiosity, prevailing even over female fear, tempted them
up a dilapidated staircase to one of the mouldering at-
tics ; and then, how unfortunately fortunate ! some half-
dozen of the topmost stairs caught the contagion of curi-
osity, and paid a visit to the cellars. You may imagine
the duet that ensued in a very high key — ^but as you
know I am deaf and De Franck was more intent on the
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164 AfEMOBIALS OF THOMAS HOOD.
perch hdaw, than on the perch above, it was, consequently,
a long hour (Jane says jbIx) before they were rescued,
heartily sick, you may be sure, of the local and the vocaL
They swear they will never ascend soij old ruins again,
so I suppose the next time we shall have to hoist them
out of some old subterranean.
However, the event has supplied a new lay or legend
of the Rhine — only in my version, after a lapse of hall
a century, two female skeletons were found on the battle-
ments, with their mouths wide open.*
These excursions have done me good every way, and
joined to a rule of going oiit every practicable evening to
fish in the Rhine or Moselle by way of exercise, have re-
stored me to some strength. I have prospered in health
ever since the great effusion of blood — in fact, had I
been well bled at first, all would have been saved. My
friends may now be easy about me — and all the rest are
well. Jane and Fanny mean to bathe at a bath-house
on the Rhine bridge. It is very healthy and pleasant,
only the tow-rope of a barge took off the whole roof, and
so frightened the female dippers, that some of them ran
out and fainted on the bridge.f
♦ My father subsequently worked up this incident into a very thrill
ing sketch in the "New Monthly," entitled "The Tower of Lah
neck." - T. H.
t The following is a description of this catastrophe in the words ol
Martha Penny, the Winifred Jenkins of " Up the Rhine." — T. H.
" A nasty grate barge come spinnin down the river, and by sum
mismanagement the to win rope hung too low down, and jist ketching
the Bath House, wipt off the hole roof in a jiffy! . . . In course
it was skreek upon skreek from the other rooms; and thinks I, if tops
come off, so may bottoms, and in that case down sinks the floting bath,
N
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MEMORIALS OF THOMAS HOOD. 165
The bath man and bath woman, concerned for their
sabsdibers, very wisely restored them by carrying them
all in again — one by one.
I am glad you liked the wine, but you must come here
for the next. You may drink my improvement in Art
with all my heart — but as to my sketch, the distinctness
you object to is characteristic, and peculiar in Spring.
I am as clear as to that, as the atmosphere. De
Franck and I verified that you could see the smoke of a
pipe heyond the Moselle. De Franck made the remark
the other day, that it was like ^ seeing through a glass."
In fact I have once or twice neglected my spectacles
from not feeling the want of them. You must see it to
believe it I grant. Why I almost fancy myself an eagle,
or at least a DoUond, as I look along the mountainous
horizon with the minutest shrubbery defined on it I
recollect, especially last year, when I came up the Rhine
I felt almost that I had seen gnomes and fairies — the
people at work on the face of the mountains looked so
distinct and yet so small, they appeared literal dwarfs —
for want of that medium mistiness which ordinarily sig-
nifies distance. The only conviction you had, sensually,
and we 're all drownded creatures as sure as rats. So out I run on to
the bridge of boats, jist as I was, with nothing on but my newdity;
but decency *s one thing, and death 's another. The rest of the bath-
ing ladies did the same, and some of them, pore things, fainted ded
away on the bords. Luckily none of the mail sects was passing by,
for xcept won Waterloo blue bonnet we was all in a naturalized state
like so many Eves. . . . Thank Gudness, there was no wus harm
done; but Catshins says, wen the roof was took off, I ought to have
crost myself, and, to be sure, so I ought — as well as said Sanctus
Marius, instead of Oriminy I **
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166 MEMORIALS OF THOMAS HOOD.
of their being so'remote was irom the silence : you saw,
but you could not hear, the blows of their pickaxes, etc.
The eflfect is really miraculous. My eyes seemed well
washed with fairy euphrasy; methought, what a pure
element it must be that we German fishes now swim in !
as good for the lungs as the ^ Lung Amo." Some of us
find it too pure if taken neat, and so mix it with smoke.
N. B. The defunct, lately carried by with " dirges
due," was not a schoolmaster, but a butcher, whose widow
had borrowed the boys to give ^clat. The Spanish gen-
eral, Spinola, died ^ of having nothing to do," and I sup-
pose Lent killed the Flesher. That same Lent was a
horrid invention, at least for inland towns. I hope it is
not the bad fish, but they are dying here on all hands, —
two or three children a day. Thank Grod, we seem in a
little Goshen, all well ! But we have had an omen, at least
equal to a raven on the chimney-pot. The children are
just come in from a walk, and a strange doctor stopped
Fanny, and talked to her in the street I
I have never had any of the vulgar insane dread of the
Catholics. It appears to me too certain that they are de-
caying at the core, and by the following natural process : —
men take a huge stride at first from Catholicism into Infi-
delity, like the French, and then by a short step back-
wards in a reaction, attain the jvMe milieu. You see I
philosophise, but it is in the air of Germany ; only I do
not smoke with it.
I cannot help agreeing with Yon Raumer about Eng-
lish music ; I am deaf and have heard as little good as
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MEMORIALS OF THOMAS HOOD. 167
he ; but why sneer at our buying better f if we purchased
Italian, we paid lately the same compliment to the Ger-
man. I believe in their "real music," but as to their
" real song " I have a creed that the " sickly sentimental-
ity " is as much a characteristic of the' best German as
the worst English. As for our painters, whom he de-
spises, let him show me a German Turner (except of the
stomach), a Stanfield, an Etty, a Stump, a Gump. They
are as unheard of as our musicians, except a notorious
German, who daubed for George the Fourth. But when
were the German artists pictorially great with pen or
pencil ? Fuseli represented both classes. In their sub-
limest they introduce the ridiculous, whereas a real gen-
uine Kentuckian in his ridiculous approaches the sublime.
I would rather, as to style, prefer the last. Fair play 's a
jewel : if you want examples, I 'U give them to you out
of Groethe himself. We had a specimen of their fine arts
yesterday, on a flag carried before a funeral : on one side
was a Virgin and Child, both dark, mulatto, as if inclin-
ing to Lord Monboddo's theory that Adam was bl(zck, or
half-and-half — whereas, on the other side was a bishop,
in p<mtificctlibu8y blessing three little children in a literal
washing-tub,* washed as fair as an English mother could
desire — as Jane, for instance. This is fact, and it is as
fair to judge from it as from the drawings of lap-dogs and
poodles at our Society of Arts, an imbecility long since
^ This was a representation of St. Nicholas restoring to life the
** Three Young Men of Noble Family," who got into a literal pickle,
vide hgendt passim, St. Nicholas was the favonrite saint with ns chil-
dren, for, on the eve of his day, we used to put our shoes outside the
bedroom door, and his Beyerence was believed to have filled them in
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168 MEMORIALS OF THOMAS HOOD.
marked down as a subject for the " Comic " — with that
void Aiken, at its head or tail, whom Coleridge used to
compare to an '^ Aching void I " Apropos of Art, in the
palace here ; in the concert-room, there was to have been
a series of frescos from the ^ Last Judgment" of Rubens,
very appropriate supposing the orchestra all trumpets*
But as the laws of acoustics only had been neglected, the
concert-room was abandoned, and it is now devoted to the
sittings lof assize, when the frescos would be of some
relevance, and accordingly they are not there. I have
this on the authority of Schreiber, the guide-man, noticed
shortly before Raumer, to whom I owe a grudge and will
pay it As the Americans say, if they poke their Jun at
me, I will poke again.
I am hard at woric at my ^' Comic," somewhat puzzled
for subjects, as most of my foreign ones must go to the
German book, which I want to make as good as pos-
sible.
I do get the ^Athenseum," though somewhat more
tardily than formerly, and it is a great treat. It oughi
to be very successfuL We admired much the articles on
Talfourd's " Ion," and Taylor's political book : my mind
misgives me they are yours. Pray write as oft&i as
you can. Jane desires me to say she longs for Mrs.
the night with the toys, &;c., we discovered in them the next day. I
believe, but won't confess to any experience, that a child who had
been naughty, generally found a rod in his slipper in lieu of the toys.
It is almost to be wished that the German tree, had brought over the
St. Nicholas* day custom with it as a branch institution. ~ T. H.
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MEMORIALS OF THOMAS HOOD. 169
Dilke's promised letter. As for myself, jou will not
soon have some more last words. Bat I do live in hope
of meeting 70U bodily this autumn, and would write a
whole ^^ Athenaeum " (a double one) to help you out.
Methinks fat as most of the company would be, we
should almost talk ourselves into consumptions. Mind,
no more Margate I If I chalk all along the dead wall
in Grosvenor Place, it would be, ^'Ask for Coblenz,"
"Try the Rhine," "Beware of Dublin," "Inquire for
Alten Graben ! "
We often fancy ourselves in your family circle, and
wish you could take a stick to it, and trundle it over here.
Pray remember us kindly to everybody, to William and
Wentworth, and the rest of the family, " by hook and by
Snook.'* Desire Fanny Staunton to add moustachios to
my portrait, and put a pipe in iny mouth.
Jane goes all lengths with me in her love, and so does
Fanny, and so would Hood jun. if he could, as he should.
The manoeuvres will begin the last week in August, and
then the Eang will be here ; so, dear Mrs. Dilke, mind
you keep Dilke in marching order. I have only post
time to add God bless you all in my more serious style,
which some prefer to my comic, and Jane says Amen
religiously, though she has fished of a Sunday. She
denies it, and I believe it is an error — she only went to
an equestrian play.
Mind the address — as the quacks say — of, Dear
Dilke,
Yours ever truly,
Thomas Hood.
VOL. I. 8
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170 BIEMORIALS OF THOMAS HOOD.
I forgot to mention that the soldiers have an odd-
sounding mode of suicide. As baU is hard to get at, they
sometimes shoot themselves with water, — which blows
the head to atoms worse than shot Now for something
in the grand style. One fellow in the true spirit of the
German suHtme, did it with a forty-eight pounder, and
went off with eckU, How proud some Charlotte must
have been of such a Werter !
752, Altbn Graben, 12^ Jidy, 1886.
My deab Dilke,
You will wonder at hearing from me so soon again,
but it is a broken day, and an epistolary one, as I have
other letters to write — and perhaps the French letter
will be worth the postage ; and, above all, I have a posi-
tive pleasure in writing to, as well as receiving letters
from you. You see I can make as many good excuses
for writing, as others for their silence. But the truth is,
I have not many correspondents, nor many conversables ;
so that I select you, both to write to and to talk to on
paper — for fear I should die of that most distressing of
complaints, a suppression of ideas. I do not, however,
though I am in Germany, pretend to open a regular ac-
count of debtor and creditor, and expect you to liquidate
every letter of mine, as if it were a foreign bill of ex-
change, by an equivalent on your own side. I know
your time is too valuable to be so drawn upon, and so is
mine too ; but, then, for me to write to you is matter of
recreation. You have too rrmch of that of which I have
too little — society : so that if I choose to call on you, or
leave my card, u e, letter, I do not peremptorily expect
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MEMORIALS OF THOMAS HOOD. 171
your retunyng my visits. Now we understand each
other; and should you ever tire of my billets, you can
give me a genteel cut, by returning my last under cover,
which ought to be equivalent to " not at home ; " or you
can get Mrs. Dilke to make spills of them, for I hate my
writings to be 'of no use to any one ; a case, I believe,
peculiar to my " Plea of the Fairies." I had, I remem-
ber, to bid myself for the waste, for fear of their going
to the book-stalls. So you can publish my letters if you
do not like them, and trust to my buying up the remain-
ders.
We are all well — as well as the heat, that is to say,
will let us be. But we never had, as apparently all the
world has had, a stranger season. First, a long, cold,
wet'spring ; and then, all at once, out of the ice-pail into
the frying-pan, like preserved fish. Our powers of con-
traction and expansion were well tried. I am, as you
may guess, not strong, and wonder I did not become lit-
erally ^Ha^fe. At mental work I sat in a room (always
in shade) with the glass at 80 ; and at bodily work at a
true African heat.
We went one day to see the Royal Iron-works at
Sayn, and really, with all the great furnaces and the
ladlefuls of glowing red liquid metal, the process going
on under a roof, the sun seemed to heat the fire, without
any great bellows.
One day, while fishing at Lahneck, De Franck and I
pursued a trout stream till it ended in what I have sev-
eral times observed about here, where there is water.
There was a sort of earthy cauldron sloping down, al-
most a regular circle, till you came to a level surface of
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172 MEMOBIALS OF THOMAS HOOD.
meadow and water, as the Laacher Zee. The whole
country is volcanic — tremendously so, if you think of
all the hot springs — a real Solfaterra. Extinct crater,
or not, I felt bailed dnj in it, till I longed to plunge into
the clear little stream hefore me, so cool, so clear; hut proh-
ahly it would have heen my death ; for, do you know, trout
live here in rivers too cold for any other fish, and we
caught nothing hut trout, nor has anybody else. How- '
ever, in this beautiful picturesque bottom I almost devilled
myself, without curry or cayenne — in spite of a queer
brown hoUand smock-frock, garnished (as the Germans
cannot do even nmplicity without a flourish) with a flow-
ing brown holland frill! It was one of their sporting
costumes, lent me by De Franck; and whilst wearing
this, and he in another like, thereunto, we had deposited
our ordinary coats at a house in the village. And here
note, for I wish to be just, that the conservators of our
said coats would not, without the greatest difficulty, ac-
cept a doit — I ought to say a groschen — for their
trouble, although Grermans, and Jews. I had, perforce,
to give it to a poor sick boy, as an excuse for leaving it,
and whom I singled out with a sort of Irish philanthropy,
to prove we are all Christians. I wish I could hope to
give him another little piece of had silver (you know, of
course, the washed^ or rather unwashed face of Friedrich
Wilhehn on our Prussian coinage), but he seemed des-
tined to abstract a unit from the gross sum of the twelve
tribes at present in existence. Set this off against my
last picture of the people of these parts, and lament with
me that you must go from the Bhine to meet natures that
correspond with its natural beauties. Perhaps I am
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\
MEMOKIALS OF THOMAS HOOD. 173
wrong ; I know you think I am prejudiced, bat I think I
am not Every day fresh fcustB^ not fancies, corroborate
my views. You will find a new one in my notice of M.
The imposition, I know, was made light of, and made a
joke of even, as against the English.
I could quote political reasons for this jealousy, which
certainly does obtain, besides more private ones. Name-
ly, under the heads of free trade, probable union of
France, Belgium, and England against the Holy Family,
alias Holy Alliance, which I guess is a main head and
front, besides avarice and envy, and most exaggerated
notions of our wealth. I am translating a serums tale,
illustrative of England, from the ^^ Zeitung," where a
lady of Euston Square offers £50,000 per annum, a
mine in "" ComwaleSy'' and £20,000 in "East India Ac-
tions " (? shares), as a reward for finding her lost child.
The lady dies — the Eang's carriage and all the nobility
go to the funeral ; the will bequeaths aU her property to
the finder, and nothing to the child ; and the said child
is eventually found by a dog called " Fog " 1 Imagine a
Zoncfonyb^ finding anything! And these are " Sketches
of our Manners," gravely written and read on the Bhine
"^ one of our thoroughfares 1 1 It will make a good chap-
ter in my book as a German exercise I
« « « «
762, Ai/rjEM Grabbn, Goblbnz, 29tA October, 1886.
My dear Mrs. Elliot,
« i» « «
You will be surprised to hear that Hood * is at this
* In the begiiming of October, the 19th Polish In&ntry were ordered
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174 HEMOBIALS OF THOMAS HOOD.
present writing, at, or near Berlin — from thence he goes
to Eiistrin, Frankfort-on-the-Oder, Breslau, Dresden,
Frankfort-on-the-Maine, and then back to Coblenz. Mr.
De Franck's regiment, the 19 th, has been ordered from
here to Bromberg, and he proposed Hood's joining their
march as a friend of his. As it was his intention to travel
for his German book, this affords the best opportunity.
He would see parts of the country which are not common
to travellers ; he would have the advantage of very pleas-
ant companions, and the help of l^Ir. De Franck's Ger-
man, who speaks it as well as a native — and Hood
therefore very gladly accepted the invitation. The regi-
ment marches fifteen or twenty English miles per day for
three days, and then rests one. Mr. De Franck advised
Hood to buy a horse to go with them, and when he wished
to return, he could sell it and come back by diligence.
He was so fortunate as to meet with a good one, with new
saddle, bridle, and all, for seven pounds, ten shillings ! As
he could not start with them, Mr. De Franck took the
horse with him, and they arranged to meet at or near
Eisenach. ^^I must tell you that all the ofiicers very polite-
ly expressed much pleasure at his going with them. The
Captain desired the Quartermaster to arrange quarters
for him with De Franck. The Colonel, who has trans-
to marcli to Bromberg, and my father was induced, by the invitation
of his friend Franck (and indeed of all the officers of the regiment), to
march with them. My mother*s letter is put a little out of date here,
in order not to interfere with the continued narrative of my father's
letters. These were almost the last of my father's days of health, and
henceforward — although there have been occasional mentions of ill-
ness before — the letters wUl record the gradual but sure decline of
it.— T.H.
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1
MEMOKIALS OF THOMAS HOOD. 175
lated his " Eugene Aram " into German and is a very
clever man, sent him a handsome message and invitation.
Knowing that liir. Dilke could not leave London for longer
than five or six weeks, it had been settled that I should go
with Hood as far as Eisenach, and they would not suffer
us to alter this ; so leaving them here. Hood and I left for
Frankfort on the 11th of October, and reached Eisenach
on the 13 th. We stayed a night there, and went to
Langen Seltzers the next morning, expecting to find
Mr. De F., but his battalion was quartered in a vil-
lage near, and we had to go on there. We found him
in the house of a Saxon peasant, or rather farmer,
for they seemed well to do, and had five or six fine
cows. We had their two best bed-rooms — good sized,
and nicely furnished — only we were obliged to go
through one to the other. The first had two beds for
Mr. Franck and a brother oflSicer, and the inner one,
which was also the sitting-room, had one for us : this was
rather unpleasant, but if I had been a Princess I could
not have commanded any better, so I treated it in the
best manner I could. Our friend had been out and shot
a brace of partridges in the morning, and the Polish offi-
cer, his comrade, undertook to superintend the cooking
them for supper. I had brought tea with me, but had
some difficulty to find a substitute for a teapot, and the
luxury of teaspoons was quite unknown, and Hood*
* My father was very ingenious in this way, and had a knack of
"cutting and contriving," of which we possess many evidences.
While in Gennany, he bought a small toy theatre for us, and then
(and subsequently at Camberwell, during an illness) drew, painted,
and cut out the characters and scenery for a tragedy (Paul and Vir-
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176 MEMORIALS OF THOMAS HOOD.
carved one out of a bit of pine wood. For supper, they
brought us a brown dish of potatoes, boiled in the skins,
another dish of boiled eggs, some butter, and a large
brown loaf, so the birds were a nice addition. After sup-
per, the host and his wife came to inquire if we had been
comfortable — they were unused to entertain such peo-
ple, but thej had done their best. The man then pro-
duced a bottle of spirit (very like Scotch whiskey, with a
peat flavour even, made from lye), and offered a glass to
each, first shaking hands all round. The wife, in the
course of the evening, had brought her baby in her arms,
and a beautiful little fat thing it was ; and Hood desired
Franck to tell the father how much we admired it — that
It was so fat, we could not ask for all, but would like to
ginia), a spectacle (St George and the Dragon), and a pantomime.
The figures were very clever, the groups and processions capitally ar-
ranged — and the dragon toas a dragon ! Some of the scenes, such as
the planter's house, and the cottages of Margaret and Madame de la
Tour, are gems of effect and colour. Two moonlight scenes are very
good too— the grave of Paul and Virginia, and the Palace in St.
George, where a (tinsel) torchlight procession by water wound up the
play. The whole, however, cannot be described, and must be seen to
be appreciated. On high\ days and holidays this theatre used to be
brought out, and my father used to perform the pieces to the delight
of the little friends (and big ones too) who were present He used to
extemporise the dialogue, which was considered by the elders, who
were better judges than we children could pretend to be, very lively
and apt His stage management, properties, and machinery were
capital, and I can still remember the agony with which I used to see
the wreck in Paul and Virginia break up by degrees, and the bodies
of the lovers washed in over the breakers. In addition to these means
of evening entertainment, he had a magic lantern, for which he paint-
ed a number of slides, some humorous, and some pretty ones — a flight
of doves and swallows with a hawk, and a little cottage in the snow,
with a " practicable " regiment marching over a bridge. — T. H.
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MEMORIALS OF THOMAS HOOD. 177
have a part of it We thought the man's answer very
ready : " Tell the gentlemen, that I speak like the mother
to Sang Solomon, I cannot suffer him to take a part, I
would rather present him the whole of it ! " As you may
suppose, this was all very new and amusing, and we were
very merry, only Hood complained at times of pain in the
side ; still we thought he would be better in the morning,
and that it proceeded from over-fatigue. But his night
was very restless, and when he rose, the pain was so
great that we found he would not dare to venture on
horseback ; so we made a fresh arrangement, to go and
stay at Saxe Grotha, at a quiet inn we had called at on
our way, and that he should again meet the regiment on
the next Tuesday at Halle, supposing him to be better
for care, rest, and nursing. This all turned out to our
wish ; the pain proceeded from cold in the muscles of the
chest, and he was soon well.
On Sunday, at twelve, I left him to return here, for I
was to have been with the Dilkes at Coblenz, on that
day. He saw me off from Saxe Gotha — but when the
diligence arrived there, it was full, and as six passengers
were there who had taken places, the conductor placed
us " extras " in two " post waggons " as they call them,
and Hood went away quite pleased at my going so com-
fortably. But alas ! this was not to continue ; after two
stages they brought out an old, old diligence, in which
they placed five gentlemen and myself. At Vach, where
we supped, having quickly finished mine, I went out to
get into the coach, and found a smith mending the wheels,
and listening with all my German ears, heard the con-
ductor ask if he was sure it was strong. This was
8* L
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178 MEMORIALS OF THOMAS HOOD.
enough for me — but I was too timid to commnnicate all
tliia in bad German to the others ; so I sat nursing mj
fears " to keep them warm," in most profound silence —
suffering a womanly martyrdom. Of course I was not
surprised, though dreadfully frightened, when the crash
came. About eleven o'clock, when we had got to the
top of a steep hill, and so, fortunately, were going slowly,
the wheel came off and we were turned over! The
young man opposite me scrambled out (we were upper-
most) at the window; he did not tread upon me, but this
was my luck, not his care, for he evidently only thought
of himself. As soon as he was out, some one looked in
at the window, and holding up my hands, I begged him
to help me, but I soon repented this ; for, seizing hold of
my wrists, he began to pull me out " by force of arms " in
spite of my entreaties, which being in English of course
he did not understand. I really thought he would break
them, for my whole weight was hanging, and I could not
find anywhere to fix my feet against at the side. At last
he dragged me out upon the top, and there I seemed
likely to remain, for he went to help out the rest, and I
stood trembling, bruised, and crying in the utmost dis-
tress, when I heard a voice from the road say, " Don't
be alarmed, let me assist you down." " Thank God I
that's English," I said, and I was almost ready to jump
into the gentleman's arms for very joy, as I was after-
wards compelled to do for very help, for it was only
by his lifting me from the edge, that I could reach the
ground. He then went to search for my bag, which held
my passport and my shawl. It was, most fortunately, a
lovely moonlight night: darkness would have added
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MEMOKIALS OF THOMAS HOOD. 179
much to my horror. I found I had a blow on the back
of the head, and one on mj right shoulder, but I came
off better than others ; one poor man was sadly cut
about the face and head, and another had his arm very
much hurt. My English friend now having found my
bag and shawl, proposed placing me in a britzka, in
wliich a German and his valet were travelling, but who
had stopped to assist. But the old gentleman did not or
would not understand, and I said very proudly in Grer-
man, that I would rather stand there than trouble him.
Upon this he was very pressing, and insisted on my
getting in, but the diligence being near in which the
Englishman was a passenger, I very so(m exchanged my
seat for the only vacant one there was in it, and went all
the rest of the way in it to Frankfort. The other unfor-
tunates were taken on in post waggons, and were tmce
overset again — not arriving at Frankfort until four
o'clock — we got there by one.
I went from Frankfort to Mayence that evening, and
on Tuesday morning came in the steamboat down the
Rhine. It was a beautiM day ; and though too rapid, I
think the Rhine is much finer to come down, you see it
with bettor effect, than to go up it*
You of course have heard of our grand review. There
were such prepai*ations for it, and so much talk before-
hand, and every village round Coblenz, as well as the
Stadt itself, so crammed with military that we did expect
something " prodigious," but the weather was miserable,
and we were a leetle disappointed; still it was such a
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180 KEMOBIALS OF THOMAS HOOD.
sight as I never witnessed before, and shall not again.
The Lager, or Camp, was erected at the end of August ;
but the three or four grand dajs were about the middle of
September. The Crown Prince was here three days to
review them ; but I thought the two days' " sham fights,**
afler he lefl, by far the most interesting. The Camp was
erected on the large plain on the other side of the Khine
and Moselle, between here and Andemach. There were
booths for the sale of fancy goods, for refreshment, and
for dancing, theatres, horse-riding, &c., and one large one
called the Officers' Booth, where they dined always. In
front of these tents was a range of kitchens for the sol-
diers at short distances from each other, a quarter of a
mile in length. Behind these were the tents for those
troops who could not be disposed of in towns or villages.
To those who had only seen at a theatre the representa-
tion of a ^ tented field " this was a beautiful sight, and
the lovely green hills that bound the plain on all sides
added to the fine effect of the scene.
We engaged a carriage early, knowing the Dilkes were
coming, and were so lucky that we paid for the four days,
what others paid for one; but poor Mr. Dilke's illness
quite spoiled the enjoyment, though they insisted on our
going, as we had promised to take a young lady with us.
It was unfortunate, too, that what we had reckoned on as
an amusement, viz., that we live in the street that leads
to the bridge, turned out a source of annoyance to our
poor friend, on account of the noise of the carriages and
troops going in and out. On the last day but one. Hood
and I and Fanny went to see the taking of Bassenheimer,
a village seven or eight English miles offl The stupid
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MEMORIALS OF THOMAS HOOD. 181
people of Coblenz liaving seen the troops reviewed in
order, and the Crown Prince, did not care to go to see
this, so ours was the only party present We followed
what seemed the siiccessful and advancing army, but on
gaining the brow of a hill our troops began to retreat,
and we saw the enemy coming out of a dark fir wood,
and steadily marching up the ascent. Our situation was
very advantageous for seeing the manoeuvres, so we drew
a little to one side and allowed them to pass us : it gave
me a very excellent notion of a battle : the tramp of the
feet, the measured beat of the drums, and the firing of
the skirmishers was truly exciting. I wish Hood* was
here to give you a description, for on talking it over with
Franck, he was astonished to find how clearly he had
seen it all, and pointed out how one side lost the vantage
ground, and ultimately waa conquered by that oversight
Mr. de Franck told us that sometimes the soldiers
get so excited the officers are obliged to interfere, or
it would be fighting in good earnest When we were
setting out to return, we saw a man lying on the road
* This review, no doubt, was the origin of a game of military ma-
noeuvres my father subsequently made for us. He got some common
wooden toy soldiers, and painted them proper colours, putting feathers,
epaulettes, and all other necessary accoutrements for officers, band,
and privates, with colours and tents for each regiment. The whole
formed two armies, which acted against each other by certain rules,
not unlike chess, and the game was won by the general who took the
best position. The two armies were supplied with cannon and cais-
sons, baggage-waggons, and all requirements. The field was supplied
with bridges, churches, villages, and forts — all little models. The
game was a most ingenious one, and afforded. us much amusement,
and was greatly admired by my father's friends who saw it. This is
another instance of the trouble and time he spent in finding amusement
for his children. — T. H.
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182 IIEMOBIALS OF THOMAS HOOD.
side, with a anrgeon attending him, and we found he
had heen shot through the arm, near the elhow, with
a stone. The men staff grass and earth into their guns
(though of course against ordei^) to make a loud report,
and sometimes they even put in stones. On hearing
that he must wait till they got a cart to take him to
the hospital, we (^ered to bring him, whidi they gladly
accepted. Hood mounted the box and they placed the
poor man by me, giving me drops to put <m sugar to
keep him from fainting. The road was very bad, and
he suffered sadly from every jolt of the carriage. I
never had so miserable a ride from nervousness and
anxiety at seeing him in such pain. We heard after-
wards that the grand people here thought we ought
not to have taken him in, and that we had degraded
ourselves, as he was only a private. The officers were
of a different opinion ; but said they were sure the other
party would not have condescended to inquire about
him at all, when they had seen he was only a common
soldier. So much for the pride of the "Vons" — in
our country, thank God! it is a matter of course to
afford help in such a case. We have only once heard
of the poor man since, as they will not admit strangers
or even answer messages at the hospital, for fear ot
the men's friends sending them money. Mr. de Franck
called once to inquire for me, he was then in bed, and
his arm swollen to a great size — I have now no means
of hearing more of him.
« - « « «
We have had some snow lately. I am afraid this will
retard Hood's progress, for he will not venture on more
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MEMORIALS OF THOMAS HOOD. 189
than he can feel secul*e about getting back again, for
every step he takes is further nOTth."
We have great hopes of returning next year to Eng-
land, if it please God to continue Hood's health, which
of course so much depends on, indeed, all of comfort and
success ! The hope of seeing my dear friends and native
land again, renders the prospect of the next winter here
not quite so cheerless. I fear we shall miss our friend
Franck very much, both his society and his many friendl/
acts, and also his assistance in speaking German, for we
are both of us rather dull in acquiring it I quite pin^
after English books, and fear when I return I shall feed
too greedily, like a famished man, and so not benefit till
time gives me a more healthy appetite. What a loss the
musical world has suffered in the death of poor Mali-
bran : I was very sorry to hear of it, she was a beauti'-
ful singer, and an admirable actress. Hood has been to
the Opera at Berlin, and saw "Undine;" it was very
well done he says, and all the Royal family were pres-
ent. The theatre here is wretched, and the actors too
bad to laugh at even.
» » » «
With best love to you aU, believe me to be ever, my
dearest Mrs. Elliot,
Yours affectionately,
Jane Hood.
The following are extracts from my father's letters to
his wife, during the march.
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184 MEMORIALS OF THOMAS HOOD.
GOTHA, 18A October, 1837.
Mt own deabest and best,
I send you a packet for Bailj : the " Love Lane " is
longer bj some verses, so send the present copy: so
much for business, and now for the pleasant.
We parted manfully and womanfuUy, as we ought. I
drank only half a bottle of the Bhine wine, and only the
half of that, ere I fell asleep on the sofa, which lasted
two hours. It was the reaction, for your going tired me
more than I cared to show. Then I drank the other
half, and as that did not do, I went and retraced our
walk in the Park, and sat down in the same seat, and felt
happier and better. Have not-jjcou a romantic old hus-
band ? To-day I had some pain, but I had written hard,
and I resolved at dinner, out of prudence, and to set you
at ease, to ask for advice, when good fortune engaged me
in English conversation with a young German physician,
a capital fellow ; and over a bottle of champagne between
us I frankly asked his advice and stated my symptoms.
He jumped at once at the cause, and asked if I had trav-
elled long in one position, &c I gave the history of our
journey, and he said it was nothing but what I had sup-
posed, a cold in the pectoral muscles from thai night in
the coach. ' I am to wear flannel on the chest, and that
is all ; there is nothing to apprehend. As this coincides
with my own views, I hope it will set you quite at rest
on the subject, and that you will thank me for putting it
out of doubt He was a nice fellow and we are to meet
again at Berlin. I go off to-night at seven, and have lit-
tle time. I think you will like the " Desert Bom."
I hope you got home safe and well, and found all so.
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MEMORIALS OF THOMAS HOOD. 185
Kiss my darling Fanny and Tom for me over and over.
Ejndest love to the Dilkes if they are with you. I have
a world to say to them and jon{mf^iiext will not be so
hurried). I must keep mf^t^ir^trial gh)be of talk to
some other time. Tak^ car^ ^ yourself. .
£i8s the dear ch^fer^foT me, aj^ beke^e me,
m.a Hood.
/
28rd October.
Mt 0Vl41 DEAREST AJjitCS^il^ANE,
I feel qmiem^p-^E^iffial^^^T your sake than my
own, that I havTil^l tfg^mit good news to communi-
cate.
I got to Halle yesterday rather late, four or five in
the afternoon. There was a strict examination of pass-
ports at Erfurt, and mine was refused a vise or jrizze as
Heilman calls it ; I believe because it was in French, —
the Dummkopf ! I found Franck domesticated (I ought
to say quartered, but it would sound like cutting up) in
BiUcher Street, the very place for filling one's cavities.
After some good beer, bread and cheese, by way of din-
ner, and a rest, we went and settled all the passport
affair right, and then went to head-quarters. My recep-
tion was very gratifying indeed, they all seemed really
glad to see me, and Franck's captain was particularly
friendly ; and I quite regret my loss of German, as he
is very merry, and likes to talk. There were some gen-
tlemen from Merseberg, who had known some of the
officers when the battalion was formerly quartered there,
and all was jollity. They were very friendly too, and I
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186 MEMORIALS OF THOMAS HOOD.
felt quite at home, and moreover, supped on the famous
Leipsic larks, things that Martin of Street would
lick the lips of his heart at. Finally, I packed up mj
trunk, &c., went to bed, and slept soundly and dreamt
(don't be jealous for we cannot command our dreams, I
wish I could !) but it was of little Tom, God bless him.
I rose with the larks, was well up to my time, marched
to the muster, mounted my nag, and here I am, at a
quarter past one, writing to you, after completing not
only my first march, but a hearty dinner. Luck turned
at last, for I rose without any pain, for the first time, and
consequently in good spirits. I am delighted with my
nag. Franck has got him into such excellent order, I
was only off him twice, but thank goodness without hurt-
ing myself, as it was merely dismounting according to
the regular mode when we halted. Tell Fanny he walks
after Franck, and knows him like a dog : I expect to be
equally good friends with him, by feeding him with
bread. Fanny herself might ride him, and I only fear I
shall be sorry to part with him at last. I rode so well
as to pass muster for a trooper, and did the turnpikes.
At one village a man sdd, " There goes the doctor ! "
The morning was beautiful, the road good, and straight
as a line, over the immense plains near Leipsic, where
so many a battle has been fought. For some distance
I rode between the captain and a gentleman in plain
clothes : it turned out he had formerly been a soldier in
the battalion, and is now a Professor, and there was I
the author turned soldier ! I did wish you could have
gone with us, the first halt was very amusing, such mis-
cellaneous breakfasting, and a boy with a large tin of hot
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MEMORIALS OF THOMAS HOOD. 187
fiausages, sold ajl off in a minute to his surprise, and re-
gret that he had not brought a whole barrow full. The
colonel passed in a carriage : I did not see him, but he
stopped Franck to ask if I was there, and sent his com-
pliments. Tell Fanny I was introduced to Minna's
father. Minna is not going to leave Coblenz jet, so
that she can have her with her sometimes, before she
goes. I assure you I found myself getting better every
mile, and when we got here about ten, felt so fresh, in-
deed, not even stiff, that I could not believe the march
was over.
From Grotha to Halle was somewhat tedious in a hd-
wagen — without any adventure save one* At supper,
for we did not leave till nine, there were two gentlemen,
one of whom talked with me a good deal in my bad Ger-
man ; but to my surprise when we had gone some miles
he addressed me in English. We sat together in the
coup^ and gossipped nearly the whole night on England,
Bowring, Campbell, &;c. He told me he had been an
emigre from Germany on account of his politics, which
had brought him into great trouble, and had held an office
at the London University, but having settled his differ-
ences with Government is now a Professor at some col-
lege in Prussia. Perhaps Dilke will know who he is.
I have had good quarters as yet. Bill of fare to-day :
roast pork, ditto goose, with apples, good soup, good beer,
pickled cherries, celery roots in slices, as large and round
as turnips, lamb's milk cheese stuck full of carraways. I ,
should like to see your face at the last article. I have
no more to say in the victualling line except that Franck
caught Heilman ramming matches into his cayenne pep-
per by mistake for a fire bottle.
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183 MEMORIALS OF THOMAS HOOD.
And now, dearest, it delights me to hope and think
that whilst I am writing, you are at home safe and well,
and are just now sitting down to dinner, or ought to be
with the pretty little pair ; perhaps with the pretty big
pair too. You know who I mean I It was fine weather
for you, and it was in favour of your impatience that
you would travel quickest, nearest home. I hope you
enjoyed the Rhine from Mayence. I shall long eagerly
to know about you all, whether the Dilkes have left, and
how he was, &c, and how you bore your solitary jour-
ney. I have thought of you continually, and enjoy by
sympathy beforehand the comfort you will teel in read-
ing this, a true and not a flattering picture of my mind,
body, and estate. I feel really as well as I say, and
have now no doubt of getting ver^ much better if not
quite restored by this trip, with other advantages to boot.
(There is a bunch of comforts for you, like the posies
chucked in at a coach window.) We drank your health
in beer (excuse the liquor). I ramble on how I can,
having to take a sleep, and then go in the evening to
meet the others, perhaps to play at whist, half-penny
points. We are in a pretty little village, and among
people the reverse of Bhinelanders. The sudden change
from marching soldiers, &c., is quite laughable ; look out
of window, and there is not a trace of military, not even
a cap ; all are indoors snoozing, &c. In the evening we
shall swarm like bees.
Franck will write to you next, as I shall be busy, but
I determined to show you to-day by a long letter how
well I was afler my march. I shall also write a few
lines al the end of this to Fanny, who, I hope, helps and
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MEMORIALS OF THOMAS HOOD. 189
pleases 70U as much as she can. If the Dilkes are not
gone, give my love to them, and say all that is kind. I
left in a sad harry, and had not even time to thank Mrs.
Dilke, without whom I should never have been launched.
Tell her I shall be as grand over my march, as if I had
crossed the Simplon. If you write of your journey
faithfully to your mother, the break-down and all, I sus-
pect it will be '^vardict, sarve 'em right! Hood and
Jane are both gone mad together I " The oflScers who
were in love seem reconciled to their fate. I have found
^ my own Carlovicz" again — only time to shake hands,
but expect him this evening. Wildegans is well again,
but gone forward two hours further than us. He was
with me all the way nearly. It will be our turn next I
guess for a long spell, but I could have gone much fur-
ther to-day than we did. I have promised the captain
to get fat under his conunand.
I fear you will have no more long letters till the
^* Comic " is done ; but am I not good for this one ? I
am quite repaid by the anticipation of .your pleasure in
it. I fear you will have to copy what I send you of
MSS., for fear of their miscarrying. I sent you a packet
from Gotha.
Mt deab Fannt,
I hope you are as. good still as when I went away — a
comfort to your good mother and a kind playfellow to
your little brother. Mind you tell him my horse eats
bread out of my hand, and walks up to the officers who
are eating, and pokes his nose into the women's baskets.
I wish I could give you both a ride. I hope ^ou liked
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190 MEMORIALS OP THOMAS HOOD.
jour paints ; pray keep them out of Tom's way, as they
are poisonous. I shall have rare stories to tell you when
I come home ; but mind, you must be good till then, or I
shall be as mute as a stockfish. Your mama will show
you on the map where I was when I wrote this ; and
when she writes will let you put in a word. You would
have laughed to see your friend Wildegans running after
the sausage boy to buy a ^wiirst:" there was hardly an
officer without one in his hand smoking hot The men
piled their guns on the grass, and sat by the side of the
road, all munching at once like ogres. I had a pocket-full
of bread and butter, which soon went into my " cavities,**
as Mrs. Dilke calls them. I only hope I shall not get so
hungry as to eat my horse. I know I need not say, keep
school and mind your book, as you love to learn. You
may have Minna sometimes, her papa says.
Now Grod bless you, my dear little girl, my pet, and
think of your
Loving Father,
Thomas Hood.
EXTBACT.
Potsdam.
From having gone through woods, full of old stumps
and roots of trees, without a fall, I begin to pique myself
on my horsemanship, but yesterday got into a bit of a
caper. I was anxious to inquire at the post-office of
Belitz, so had to get before the otters, which I all but
effected, when, just entering the town in a narrow street,
I was obliged to wait with my horse's nose just against
the big drum, which he objected to pass ; but I contrived
to keep him dancing between the band and the regiment.
I was more lucky than a captain in Coblenz, whose horse
MEHOSIALS OF THOMAS HOOD.
191
ran away with him slap through the band, all of whom he
upset, breaking their instruments to the tune of 300 dol-
lars damages. I am glad I did not know this at the time.
We rise at four, and march about five or half-past : it
is moonlight earlier, but then becomes dark, so I march
till I can see the road, and then mount ; afler about three
quarters of an hour we halt for a quarter of an hour, and
then on again to the general rendezvous, overtaking or
passing other companies on the road, for we are quartered
sometimes widely apart At the rendezvous we Jialt and
breakfast — a sort of picnic — each bringing what he
can : if I had been searched yesterday they would have
found on me two cold pigeons, and a loaf split and but-
tered. I have learned to forage, and always clear the
table at my quarters into my pockets.
It is an amusing scene when we sit down by the road-
side ; some of the o£Gicers, who have had queer quarters,
bring sketches of them ; one the other day had such a
ruinous house for his, that his dog stood and^ howled at
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192 MSHOBIALS OF THOVAS HOOD.
it At the inn at Scremnitz, I had dinner, supper, bed
and breakfast for 7 good groschen, about 11 pence!
Think of that, ye Jewish Bhinelanders. Many of them
moreover returned the common soldiers the five groschen
the king allows for their billeting, and gave them a glass
of schnaps besides. They are a friendly, kind people,
and meet you with the hand held out to shake, and
say ^ Welcome.'' I like the Saxons much. Then we
marched to Wittenberg, ?diere a Lieut. J , an old
friend of Franck's, made us dine with him at the mili-
tary Casino. He spoke French, and I found him
very intelligent, and somewhat literary, so we got on
. well. He asked me if we English had not a preju-
dice against the Germans, and I assured him quite the
reverse.
He seemed pleased, and said, " To be sure we are of
the same race " (Saxons).. He took me over the town,
famous as one of Luther's strongholds. His statue con-
veyed the very impression I had from a late paper in the
^' Athenaeum," a sturdy friar, with a large thick-necked
jowly head, sensual exceedingly, — a real sort of bull-
dog to pin the pope's bulL From thence we went to
Fruhlitz to our quarters, which were queerish ; Franck
was put in a room used as the village church, and I in
the ball-room ; we were certainly transposed. Our sec-
ond quarters were at Nichel near Truenbritzen. We
arrived after a march of eight hours and a half: think
of that for me ! and I came in all alive and kicking.
We got at it oyer wide barren heaths, and plenty of deep
sand. Our bUlet was on the Burgomaster, or schultze,
and his civic robe was a sheepskin with the wool inward,
the usual wintry dress in those bleak parts. The lady
MEMOBIALS Ot THOMAS HOOD. IQS
mayoress a stout, plump, short-faced muUerhiny with a
^ast number of petticoats to make amends for shortness.
I told my host I was an English burgomaster, so we kept
up a great respect and fellowship for each other. You
would have laughed to see Bonkowski hugging and kiss-
ing the Frau — it is reckoned an honour — and the
husbands stand and look on ; we shook hands all around,
and then dined ; I was not too curious about the cookery,
and ate heartily. Every time I came to the window, a
whole group in sheepskins, like baa lambs on their hind
legs, pointed me out to each other, and took a good stare,
so I suppose Englanders are rarities* At leaving, the
Burgomaster inquired very anxiously about me, and
being, as he thought, in the way to get information, he
said he had heard of Flanders, and wanted to know if it
was money Vikt florins I There was a Worship for you I
We had but two beds, one for me, and one for Bon-
kowski, and Franck was on the straw.
Thence we went to Schlunkendorf ( what a name ! )
near Belitz: quartered at a miller's, very clean and
wholesome, but only two beds, so Franck was littered
down again. I wanted the host to give him com instead
of straw by mistake, and then come and thrash them both
out together. I forgot to say the little captain called on
me at Fruhlitz to see how I was, and took tea with us.
Last night I called on Bonkowski, who was opposite to
us ; I found him flirting with the Frau. I told her I had
come 50,000 miles, was married at 14, and had 17
children; and as I was in yellow boots, and Mrs. D.'s
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194 IIEMOBIALS OF THOMAS HOOD.
present of a robe, and really looked a Grand Turk, she
believed me like GospeL We made a Welch rabbit for
supper, and then played loo till bed-time for pfennings
I had a young officer for our third instead of Bonkowski.
This morning I rode over from Schlunkendorf to Belitz,
Heilman taking back the mare, where I found your wel-
come letter, and started by diligence to Potsdam, where
I am, having just eaten a capital dinner — chiefly a. plate
of good English-like roasted mutton — and a whole bottle
of genuine Enghsh porter. I am to brush up here to
see them parade before the king to-morrow morning.
Then a dafs rest here, and then to Berlin. After the
parade, a party of us are going to Sans Soud, and so
forth, sight seeing. Franck hopes to introduce me to the
Radziwills at Berlin ; I have no pain, and really wonder
how I march. But I had made up my heart and mind
to it, and that is everything ; it keeps me, I think, from
falling off my horse, I am so determined' to stick to him,
and keep my wits always about me : in fact I quite enjoy
it, and only wish I could return so, 't is so much better
than being jammed up in a diligence, and, says youy ^ less
dangerous ! "
Pray tell my dear good Fanny that at Schlunkendorf,
there was a tame robin, that killed all the flies in the
room, hopped on the table, and the edges of our plates,
for some dinner. I am delighted with her keeping her
promise to me.
My project is to go with the 10th Company to Custrin,
and then home by Frankfort on the Oder, Breslau,
Dresden, Frankfort on the Maine, Mayence, G)blenz,
where God send I may find you all welL
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MEMORIALS OF THOMAS HOOD. 195
I forgot to say I composed a song for the 19tli, which
made them all laugh. I send it for you.
SONG FOR THE NINETEENTH.
The morning sky is hung with mist,
The rolling drum the street alarms,
The host is paid, his daughter kiss'd —
So now to arms I to arms I to arms I
Our eyening bowl was strong and stiff,
And may we get such quarters oft,
I ne'er was better lodged, — for if
The straw was hard, the maid was soft
So now to arms ! to arms ! to arms !
And fare thee well, my little dear ;
And if they ask who won your charms,
Why say — " 't was in your nineteenth year I **
Bbblin, October 2Bth.
The country round Berlin, the Mark of Brandenburg,
is bitter bad, deep sand almost a desert : I don't wonder
the Great Frederick wanted something better. Some
parts of our marches, through the forests, with the bugles
ringing, were quite romantic, and the costume of the
yillagers, when they turned out to see us pass, really pic-
turesque. I have now made five marches, and am not
fatigued to speak of. I am sworn comrade with most of
the officers ; one rough-looking old captain told me when
he got to Berlin, he should have his Polish cook, and then
he should ask me to dinner, promising me an ^ overgay **
evenings which I shall take care to get out off. By-the-
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196 MEMORIALS OF THOMAS HOOD.
by, when we were at the burgomaster^s, I saw said cap-
tain, striding up and down in a great fume before the
house ; it turned out he was to sleep in the same room
with a man, his wife and seven children ! which he de-
clined. Finally, I believe, he was put in the school-
room in an extempore bed. We are often short of
knives, spoons, and forks, but the poor creatures do their
best and cheerfully, so that it quite relishes the victuals.
I shake their hands heartily, when we part. Yesterday
I had a nice dessert of grapes, sent over to me by Bon-
kowski, and they are scarce in these regions.
Carlovicz one night got no quarters at all : it is quite
a lottery. Tou should have seen Wildegans riding on
a baggage waggon between suttlersi Tell Tom that
Franck comes to pat my horse, and she spits all over
him sometimes, for she has rare yeasty jaws ; and yester-
day I had the prudence to take myself to leeward after
spangling the captain's cloak all over ! She eats rarely,
and will sell well I dare say, but I shall be sorry to part
with her. When I find mjrself oa horseback, riding
through a long wood with a regiment, it seems almost
like a dream ; your mother will no more believe it than
your upset Tou have subjects enough now for the El-
liots with a vengeance, and so shall I have ! I wish I
could wish the Dilkes may be comfortably in Coblenz by
my return. As they are not wanted, they would see
the vintage ; God bless them any way, and say every-
thing kind for me. I really think they might stay longer
in Coblenz, quiet and cheap enough, and recover thor-
oughly, against their winter campaign of company; I
long to see them again ere they cross the sea.
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MEMOBIALS OF THOMAS HOOD. 197
I have rambled on to amase 70U, and left little room
to say all I coald wish to yourself; bat you will find in
your own heart the echo of all I have to say (rather an
Irish one, but a truth-teller).
I seem to have scarcely had an inoonTenience, cer-
tainly not a hardship, and it will ever be a pleasant
thing for me to remember. I like litde troubles ; I do
not covet too flowery a path. By-the-by I have scmie
dried flowers for my flower-loving Fanny, gathered at
odd out-of-the-way places ; I will show her where on the
map when I return.
It was singular in the sheepskin country, whilst the
men were all so warmly pelissed, to see the women in
their short petti{x>ats, their legs looking so cold. I snS"
pect I pass for very hardy, if not fool-hardy, I slight the
cold so ; but it seems to me a Glerman characteristic, that
they can bear being sugar-bakers,, but can hardly endure
what I call a bracing air.
Bless you, bless you, agaun and again, my dear one^
my only one, my one as good as a thousand to
Tour old Unitarian in love,
T. H.
P. S. If Desdemona loved Othello ^ for the dangers
he had passed," how shall I love you ? With my utmost
diligence, or rather so much more than my heart can hold,
that it must get a beiwagen I And with that earnest joke,
good bye.
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198 MEMOSIALS OP THOXAS HOOD.
Bkbuv, October tdSL
"Mr DSABE8T Lots,
Here I am safe — bat mj much is over! The Prince
Badziwill has invited Franc^ to stay two or three weeks
here, so he of ooorse stajs. ^ he was the pretext
for mj journey, I cannot well go without him, but had
planned to retom by Dresden and Leipsic. To-day,
however, it snows; and for fear of bad roads, &c., I
think I shall come direct. Moreover, owing to the harry
I have none of my papers or lists with me, so that I find
it difficult to do anything with the ^ Comic." Tou may
look for me, therefore, in a fortnight from the date of
this. I hope the Dilkes will not be gone. I shall not
write again. I am very well, and basy going about. I
saw the Cadet school here yesterday morning. I swig
away at good London porter. Don't you envy me ?
Last night I was at the opera— ^"Undine" — the
whole royal family present ; it was very well done, and
I really longed for Tibbie, it was so full of fairy work.
Nearly the whole of the 19th were there, and Wildegans
says he regrets not to have heard the comments of the
men. I have been with him to the exhibition of pictures
this morning. Then we took leave, and it made me
quite down to say Good-bye to so many, and probably
for ever. He desired me to say everything that is kind
to you, Fanny, and Tom. I was introduced to the Colo-
nel last night, at the opera. We have a great joke
amongst us : half the officers having a day or two's leave,
stay here behind the regiment ; they lunch with me some-
times, and we call it '^ eating the horse." I suppose I
shall get rid of both him and his price before I leave.
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MEHOBIALS OF THOMAS HOOD. 199
I have met witb no disagreeables here, wluch will
please you, and shall reserve all stories for our tete-a-
tetes. In a fortnight 70U may expect me.
Tell my dear Fanny I was very much pleased with
her letter, and so washer fiiend Franck. I gave her
love to Wildegans and Carlovicz. I parted with Wilde-
gans yesterday, about two o'clock. I reckon I shall never
see him again. He desired everything kind to be said to
you, and said he should never forget us^and spoke of the
children, "kleine Tom and Fannie la petUe,"
God bless you aU three, dear ones I
Berldt, November 2fk/, 1886.
My own deabest and best Lote,
I do not know whether this will reach you on your
birthday, but I hope so.
I • have been very busy sight-seeing, and very gay.
The day before yesterday Franck brought me an invita-
tion from Prince William Radziwill, the head of the fiun-
ily, to dine with him at three o'clock. I was run for
time, having to get dress-boots, &c ; and to crown all, a
coach ordered at half-past two did not arrive till three,
nor could I make them understand to get another. Thank
heaven, the dear Princesses were long in dressing, for it
would have been awful to have kept them waiting.
They say no man is a prophet in his own country, and
here literature certainly came in for its honours. The
Prince introduced me himself to every one of his family,
who all tried to talk to me, most of them speaking Eng-
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200 MEMOBIALS OT THOMAS HOOD.
lish yery well. Some spoke French, so I got on very
well, save a little deafness. The Prince placed me him-
self next to him at dinner, on his right hand, and talked
with me continaallj dnring dinner, telling me stories and
anecdotes, &C., and I tried to get^nt of his debt by some
of mine. There were present Prince William, Prince
Boguslaw Badziwill, Prince Adam Gzartoriski, Prince
Edmand Clftry, Connt Wildenbruch (whom I had met
before), Count Uubienski, Councillor Michalski, Ho&ath
Kupsach^ Captain Crawford, R. I^., Princess Clary, Prin-
cess Felicia Gary, Princess Euphemia Clary, Princess
Boguslaw Badziwill, Princess Wanda Czartoriski, and
Miss yon Lange, lady-in-waiting. So I was in august
company. (Franck was obliged to dine at the Duke of
Cumberland's.) I was quite delighted with the whole
family; they are all excellent I stayed till seyen.
We were yery merry after dinner. Franck came in, and
the Princes kept telling me sporting anecdotes about
themselyes and him. Prince William proposed to call
on me and see my sketches, but I told him I had none,
and then begged his acceptance of my books, which I am
to send. The Princesses asked me to send them this
year's *^ Comic" Both the Prince Badziwills shook
hands with me at parting. They (the Princes) haye
since spoken of yisiting me, but Franck declined it, on
the plea of my being so far off; for the place was so full,
not a bed was to be had when I arriyed at that end, and
I am in quite a third-rate hotel, at the opposite quarter.
I haye more particulars to tell you when we meet, but
I knew you would be pleased to hear of this. The Duke
of Cumberland asked Franck who " that gentleman was
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MEMORIALS OF THOMAS HOOD. 201
, who marched with his regiment,'' and was surprised to
hear it was me; he had been told it was an officer.
Prince Greorge spoke in such very handsome terms of
me, that I left my card for him. As he regretted not
having had the last " Comic," Franck presented one of
his. It is a sad pity, but the Prince is quite blind ; a fine
young man, and very amiable. I do not know whether
I shall see any of the Princes again before I go, but I
expect I must call to take leave. They had even read
"TylneyHaU!"
Since writing the above, I have been unwell, and
could not meet Franck as I promised at the Exhibition.
I think principally it arose from a sudden change in the
weather, from really severe frost to rain. Only yester-
day we were walking in the fish market, where the huge
. tubs of jack, carp, &c., were almost frozen hard, but to-
day the streets are covered with genuine Zondon-Wne
mud. I have seen Franck, however, at the caf6 where
I dine, and he told me Prince William called on me yes-
terday, and the other Princes to-day, also Count Wilden-
bruch. This is really most flattering attention. I sent to-
day to one of the Princes a written account of Franck's
tumble into the Lahn, which I expect will make them
laugh, as I had highly embellished it. Franck is gone
again to-night to the Duke of Cumberland's. We only
meet by snatches. He and a young lieutenant. Von
Heugel, are all I see now of the 19th. The latter and I
are very good friends : he is quite young, and having
leave as long as Franck's, and more leisure, we go about
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202 MEHOBIALS OF THOKAS HOOD.
together a good deal. You sfaoald hear the lamentations
of Franck and myself, that you are not here, — it is
really amusing.
Yesterday I was in the Mus^ and saw some wonder-
ful pictures: the ^Titian's Daughter," for instance. I
should like to be one of the attendants for A month.
There were some curious antique pieces I will describe
when we meet Altogether I have had a most happy
time of it, and in health and every respect have reason
to be highly gratified. I am now all right — a little good
port wine, which all the officers here recommended me to
take to-night, has cured me, andliere I am writing to you
with the spirits of a lark, in the hope that after a couple
or three days, every hour will bring me nearer to all that
is dearest to me on earth.
The following letter was written, after my father's re-,
turn from Berlin, to his friend, Mr. de Franck, who was
then with his regiment at Bromberg. My father missed
him sadly on many accounts, and indeed I think, after he
left, Ck)blenz became very dreaiy and tedious to him.
They were fellow disciples of Izaak Walton in the ^ gen-
tle art of angling,'' and after his friend's departure, my
father found his pleasant fishing rambles had lost their
greatest charm. They had spent so many happy days
with rod and line at Lahneck, and by the side of the
Moselle, &c, that the old haunts seemed very lonely and
deserted after Mr. de Franck left. -The frequent address
of ^ Tim says he" between them, arose from the follow-
ing dialogue which my fiither had picked up somewhere.
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MEMOBIALS OF THOMAS HOOD. 203
The cbaracters were supposed to be a thoaghtless Irish-
man in difficulties, and his more prudent servant, and the
oonversation ran thus : — -
<^ Tim! "says he.
«Sirrsayshe.
"JP*eteh me my hat," says he,
*^ That I may go," says he,
" To Timahoe," says he,
^ And go to the fair," says he,
^ And see all that 's there ! " says he.
" First pay what you owe 1 " says he,
^ And then you may go," says he,
/* To Timahoe," says he,
^ And go to the fair," says he,
^ And see all that 's there ! " says he.
** Now by this and by that," says he,
** — Tim, hang up my hat I " says he.
This 80 tickled their fimcies that ^ Tim says he " was
a far more frequent preface and salutation than their
own proper names. The origin of the nickname *^ John-
ny," I have not been able to trace.
«
762, Altsv GiUBXir, Ck>BUEiiz, Dee. %nd, 1886.
Tm, says he.
It was odd enough I should have my accident too as if
to persuade me that German eilwagens are the roost
dangerous vehicles in the world — but about four o'clock
on the third morning, after a great ^ leap in the dark,"
the coach turned short round, and brought up against the
rails of the roadside ; luckily they were strong, or we
ahoold have gone over a precipice. There we wew aa
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204 MEMOBIALS OF THOKAS HOOD.
the top of a bleak hill, the pole haying broken short off,
till we were fetched by hettffogensj to the next station,
where a new pole was made ; but it delayed us six hours.
Here I got the first of m j cold, for the weather and wind
were keen ; the night journey from Frank£»rt to Majence
in an open coup^ confirmed it I could not help falling
asleep in it from cold. So I came home looking well,
and as ruddy as bacon ; but the very next day turned
white with a dreadful cough, which ended in spitting
blood ; but I sent for the doctor, was bled, and it was
stopped : but I am still weak. To make things better I
had not sent enough for the '^ Comic," and was obliged
to set to work again, willy-nilly, well or illy. I have
not been out of doors yet since I came home, but shaU in
a day or two. The Rhine and Moselle are very high —
the Castor Street is flooded — the weather being very
mild — but I guess cold is coming, for I saw a fellow
bring into the town to-day a very large wolf on his
shoulders. He was as fat as a pig. I found all well at
home. Tom stared his eyes out at me, almost, and for
two days would scarcely quit my lap. He talks and
sings like a parrot I should have liked to see your
Grand Hunt (a Battue), but for sport I would rather
take my dog and gun and pick up what I could find.
The night procession must have looked welL Poor
Dilke went away very unwell, but the last account of
him was better. I did not get home soon enough to see
him. I am going to give him a long account of my
march. I think the horse sold very well, but cannot
fancy what you will do with the saddle, unless you put it
on a cbthes-horse when you want to ride. Don't forget in
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MEMOBIALS OF THOMAS HOOD. 205
your next to let me know the fate of the cheese. I guess
it got " high and mity " enough to deserve a title.
Oh ! I do miss the porter at Berlin ! Schumacher's is to
let again, and the beer we get is " ex-crahbU ! " I hope
next winter to taste it in London, but can form no plans
till my health clears up more. I must beg you in your
next to give me the list of the officers. I was to have
had it before we parted, as I begin my German book
with the march. How do you find your quarters ? Are
there any Miss A ^s at Bromberg? By-the-by, I
undertook a letter from Lieutenant B to deliver
here,'and sent it by Katchen, who says the mother came
in and made a bit of a row. But I cannot well under-
stand what she said in German. Perhaps there has
been a cat let out of the bag, the young lady having lefl
the letter lying on the table in view of the mamma.
How is Wildegans? and do you ever see him and
Carlovicz ? My kind regards to both, and most friendly
remembrances to all you see, not forgetting my captain.
How you will delight in settling down to your drill
duties and parades after so much gaiety I I quite envy
you : a few raw recruits would be quite a treat ! You
do not tell me whether you had any trolling with Prince
Boguslaff : all our old fishing-stands by the Moselle are
under water. I hope to get out a " Comic " early in
the spring, and the books for Berlin ; but I shall not
know how to get anything over before, as I guess land-
carriage Cometh very dear, and they must come vid
Ostend till the Rhine-boats run again. Perhaps my
painter will come out early ; as Jane has told you I am
to be '' done in oiL" I have now no news — how should
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206 MEMORIALS or THOHAS HOOD.
I have ? for I have at least been room-riddeiL I shall
take to my rod again as soon as the season begins ; but
I shall miss yon, Johnny, and your ^ wonting in." * I
must promise yon a better letter next time. This is only
a brief uosHf
Dear Johnny,
Yours ever truly,
Johnny.
Fanny and Tom send their little loves.
CoBLBHZ, DtemJbmr Utk^ 1S80.
Mt bbab Wbioht, •
Now for a slight sketch of my march. Our start
was a pretty one. We were to go at six, Jane and
I, by the coach, and were to be called by four. Every-
thing ready, but not all packed. I woke by chance at
half-past five, our servant — hang her Oerman phlegm I
^- being still in bed. Now, as all mails, &c., here are
government concerns, you pay beforehand, at the post-
office, fare, postilions, turnpikes, and all, which makes
it very pleasant to lose your, place.
By a miracle — I cannot imagine how — Mrs. Dilke
helping, we somehow got Jane's bag and my portman-
teau rammed full, and caught the coach just setting off.
A fine day, and a fine view of the Rheingau, for we
went round by the Baths to Frankfort-on^Maine, but
« dooms" slow, for it is hilly aU the way, and they
walked up, and dragged on sbwly down.
4f Mr. Franck had so forgotten his English as to make little mistakes
at times, and once said he ** wented in ** somewhere. Of course this
gave mj father an opportnnity for UmenXmg endless ftm. ^ T. H.
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IIEMOBIALS OF THOMAS HOOD. 207
Started in the erening-oosK^h from Frankfort for
Eisenach. Mjself taken very ill in the night; but had
some illness hanging aboat me brought to a crisis hj
being stived up, all windows shut^ with four Germans
stinking of the accumolated smoke and odour, stale, fat,
and unprofitable, of perhaps two years' reeking garlic
and what not, besides heat insufferable. I was for some-
time insensible, unknown to Jane, and, ooming-to again,
let down the window, which let in a very cold wind,
but delicious to me, for it seemed like a breeze through
the branohes and blossoms of the tree of life. But it
waslhe cause of a severe cold on the chest We slept
at Eisenach; next morning posted to Langen Seltzers,
the head-quarters. * * *
i shall soon begin on my German book with '< wigger."
I have material prepared^ Minor adventures on the
march I have not given, as yon wiU see them there.
I pique myself on the punctuality of my brief military
career. I was never too late, and always had my bag-
gage packed by my own hands ready for the waggon.
It was almost always dark at setting out, and I had to
lead my horse till I could see. After half an hour,
or an hour, we took generally a quarter's rest, for a
sort of after-breakfast; then made for the general ren-
dezvous, where we piled arms, and all fell to work on
our victuals, — a strange picnic, each bringing what
he could; and we made reports, and some showed
sketches of their last night's quarters. On the whole,
I was very fortunate. Some were regularly hovelled,
in pigeon-houses or anywhere. It was a lottery. On
the march I rode by turns at the head or the tail of the
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208' MEHOBIALS OF THOICAS HOOD.
companies, talking with each of the officers as could
speak French. They were, one and all, very friendly,
and glad of my company. I almost wondered at myself,
to find that I could manage my horse so well, for we
had queer ground sometimes, when we took short cuts.
I assure you sometimes I have almost asked myself
die question, whether I was I, seeming to be so much
out of my ordinary life, — for example, on horseback,
following, or rather belonging to, a company of soldiers ;
the bugle ringing through a vast pine wood to keep us
together, or the men perhaps singing Polish songs in
chorus, for this is a Polish regiment chiefly.
About a year ago I had a military cloak, at the con-
tractor's price, from Berlin, but without any idea of a
march. Thanks to it, and my horse, having been a cap-
tain of engineers', with its saddle-cloth, &C., I cheated the
king of all the road-money, for they let me pass all the
toll-houses as an officer. I was taken alternately for the
chaplain and doctor of the re^ment. It did me a world
of good, but the finish marred all again. I was disap-
pointed at not going to the end with them, but as De
Franck stays, I could not well proceed ; and I have since
heard he has been stopped three weeks more, to go on a
grand hunting party into Austria. I am going to set to
work to learn Grerman during this winter, as I know I
shall be able to turn it to account I am reading the pa-
pers, but they are not worth reading.
I shall be very happy to see Mr. L and show him
all the countenance I can in Coblenz as a portrait-paint-
er, by letting him take my own, but, for my part, I never
got any good of my face yet, except that it once got me
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MEMOBIALS OF THOMAS HOOD. 209
credit for eighteen pence at a shop, when I had gone ont
without my purse. If he has not jet seen the Rhine, he
will find the ** face of nature " very well worth his atten-
tions, and I shall have much pleasure in offering him
such hospitalitj as we have here, — for it is not quite
English in its fare, this good town. But a change is
sometimes agreeable. I had a change of it on the
march, and I cooked our supper <^ Welsh-rabbits one
night, but though it was good Stilton cheese, no less, the
two German officers we invited express, would n't eat it
It ran a near chance of being thrown away, hecauie it
was turning Uue, I must tell you of a good joke. I
sent De Franck's servant with my passport to a country
Burgomaster to be visS, — he brought it back with a
message that *^ I could not be ^frivzei without coming in
person!" Encore. They use little fire bottles very
much here, — one morning at ibur o'clock we were an
immense time getting a light, the bugle had sounded long
ago, — at last we found him with a bundle of about fifty
phosphoric matches, trying them all by turns in our little
fhial of €<xyenney very much bothered that they would
not catch fire. And now, dear Wright, adieu, with kind
regards.
Yours, ever truly,
Thos. Hood.
752, Altbv Grabbv, Cobubhz, 281ft i)ec., 1880.
Mt dear Dilke,
I intended to write to you long ago, but, as usual, I
have been laid up in ordinary, a phrase you must get
some Navy Pay Officer to translate. My marching in
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210 MEMORIALS OF THOMAS HOOD.
£bu^ ended like Le F^yre's (it ought to be Le Ferer) in
a sick bed — mj regiment came to a regimen! Ob,
Dilke, what hnmbngs of trayellers 70U and I be now,
that we cannot compass a few hundred miles, but the
leech must be called in at the end I I came home, look-
ing ruddy as a ploughboj, and, excepting some signs of
mj old local weakness, better apparently than since I .
have been here ; but almost the next day after my re-
turn, I turned white, with a most unaccountable depres-
sion, which ended in a fit of spitting blood as before.
Dr. S was immediately sent for — I was bled, and
there was no return.
Now I cannot believe that such a poor crow as I can
have too much blood. I suspect this time it was a touch
on the lungs, which were never touched before, being
indeed my strongest point I attribute it to our unlucky
accident of the coach — at four o'clock of a cold, windy
morning. However, I am nearly right again, but weak
and low — rather : your kind letter has just arrived with
its good news, quite equal to three cheers, one for Dilke,
one for the ^ Comic," and one for myself. I was afraid
the first would be worse for his homeward journey. I
most and will think you set off too soon, and as a prophet
after the fact, you had plenty of mild fine weather before
you, for it only snowed here for the first time yesterday,
Christmas Day I I am heartily glad to hear of so much
decided improvement^ but it will be a weak point always
and require great care ; — even at the expense of hav-
ing a fell of hair like a German.
If he cannot get it cut at home, he deserves to have
his head shaved for that last expedition. What would
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MEMORIALS OF THOMAS HOOD. 211
Dr. S— — say, only I can't tell him. I hope yow, Mn.
Dilke, preached a good sermon on it, and you wiU do
well to read him daily a morning lesson out of the Bible,
showing how Samson lost all his strength by going and
haying his hair cut What an epitaph must I hare writ-
ten, if he had died through thai little outbreak of personal
vanity: —
" Here lies Dilke, the yietim to a whim,
Who went to have his hair cut, but the air cut him."
I certainly do not agree any more than Dr. Johnson as
to his being a (^s^-erdan ; from the great tenderness, the
evil did not seem to me to be so deeply seated as Dr. B.
supposed, but nearer the surface ; I have now great hope
of him — barring barbers — and especially that leaving
Somerset House; the change will perhaps add to his
years, and let him live a dovUe number, provided always
he don't come up the Rhine again. I am always happy
to see friends — but really I do wish you had not oome^
for now we have nothing so agreeable to look forward to,
and not much at present to look back upon ! I wonder
if the visit will ever be returned — shall I ever go down
the Rhine and drop in at Lower Grosvenor Place ?
I live in hope of the first part at least ; I try to fill up
my own cavities instead of the sexton's by every care I
can take ; for instance, I am sailing on Temperance prin-
ciples. I drank your health, and the compliments of the
season to you yesterday, in a glass of Jane's ginger wine ;
and at night, being Christmas, indulged in a glass of —
lemonade! As for you, Maria, having lost your sides,
you must expect to be always middling, but no more
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212 MEUOBIALS OF THOlfAS HOOD.
spasms 1 So huzza for us all — who knows bat onr
united ages may become worthy of a newspaper parar
graph, some forty years hence.
I am glad yon relish the '^ Comic " so well : indeed, I
always try that it shall not fidl off, whatever its sale may
do — that the fault may be the pablic's, not the private's.
But it seems doomed never to be early — thanks to that
slug-a-bed, Katchen, and her German phlegm, it was
some three weeks after it should have been out.
In the meantime, I will give you some particulars of
my excursion. You have heard how well I got through
my first day^s ride — it was a fine morning, and we
crossed part of that fiat which surrounds Leipzic — what
an immense fiat it is ! An ocean of sand literally stretch-
ing beyond the reach of the eye. It seems to have been
intended for the grand armies of Europe to decide their
difierences on. That is to say, if Nature or Providence
ever intended to form convenient plains for wholesale
butcheries, of which I have some doubt.
However, it is classic ground to the soldier, as several
great battles have taken place in the neighbourhood.
The next morning, I padked up and started at four, and
after rather a longer spell got to Brenha, where I found
my quarters at a sort of country inn and butcher's shop
roUed into one. I only breakfasted at Brenha — spend-
ing the rest of my time at a chateau of Baron B ^'s,
with De Franck and the Captain — the old Major-domo,
the image of a Scotchman, doing the honours. He sent
down to invite me, and thenceforward I boarded at the
ch&teau, and only slept and breakfasted at the inn. I
had the prettiest girl in the place for my waitress — and
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MEMORIALS OF THOMAS HOOD. 213
told her I was a prisoner of state on parole with the reg-
iment, which interested her in m7 favour, I suppose :
anyhow if brought up the mother — dram bottle in hand
— who sat herself down, tete-a-tete at the table, and
seemed determined to hear all the rights of it: but I
grew very English, and her curiosity could get nothing
out of me. At the chd,teau we lived like fighting-cocks,
and drank a very good wine, made on the estate, as good
as much of the Rhenish.
We had a sort of under-steward for our host, and for
our waiting-maid, an ugly, grisly female, with the addition
of an outlandish head-dress, and a huge MH — stiff, and
fastened behind to her cap, so that she was in a sort of
pillory. The pretty girl at the inn did not get half so
much of my attention. The fare — poultry, jack, carp,
beetroot, neat's tongue. I saw in the farm-yard some
very fair pigs — one with a stiff neck — his head reg-
ularly fixed on one side ; some excellent Polish fowls ; and
in a long stable a range of fine-ish cows, with a long
solid bench before them, where each had a circular hollow
scooped for it like a bason. I have seen tables for
human beasts, in Berkshire, with the dishes and platters,
scooped out in like fashion — not a bad plan for sea-faring
furniture — not over cleanly, perhaps, but fast and not
breakable. There was also a garden and a fish-pond
in it.
The next day being a rest, we spent at the same place,
and we went trolling, the steward giving us leave, in a
mill-stream, where we only caught one little jack before
dinner, who had tried to swallow the bait, a carp as
broad as himself. We brought both into the house, as
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214 MEUOBIALS OF THOMAS HOOD.
thej were, by the way of a coriositj, but leaving tackle
and all in the passage, daring dinner, we hooked the
favourite cat to boot, who had taken the bait too. Oar
bad sport in the morning procured us leave for the after-
noon, in the garden pandy a sort of preserve, where we
immediately hooked a good large jack. As soon as the
line went off under the weeds, I pulled out my watch to
give the fish eight or ten minutes to pouch the bait, while
De Franck stood still as a statue with the rod ; the cap-
tain op at his window wondering what solemn operation
was going on. At last we got him, a good jack ; then a
second, a third, and a fourth, the face of the steward
lengthening to each catch, in the most laughable manner.
He evidently thought we should " distress the water," as
it is technically termed. Jack are much esteemed, you
must know, in inland Germany, and the old man was
quite glad when we packed up our tackle. He was
comforted at last to find three were so little hurt, that they
might be thrown in again. But he told us, half in joke,
half in earnest, when we came again he should set a
watch over all his ponds.
Three years since there were four thousand trees
blown down on the estate by a storm, they stopped all
the roads in the neighbourhood, which took fourteen days
in clearing ; and some of the trees are not yet removed.
They must have had some such treats in Germany
elsewhere, I guess, during the late hurricanes. At the
inn I had one dinner, one supper, bed twice, and two
breakfasts, for ten groschen, or one shiUing. But these
bye-places are poor, and a little money goes a great way.
Here I not only found soap for the first time in Ger-
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HEMOBIALS OF THOMAS HOOD. 215
many, but a place in the hason expressly for holding it.
The Saxons seemed generally good sort of people. Our
next march took us across the Elbe to Wittenberg. A
Lieutenant J , an old crony of De Franck 's, met
us on the bridge, and insisted on our dining with him, so
we got leave, dined at the Casino, and J showed me
the lions of the place.
As to Luther's statue, I could not help thinking of
Friar John, in Babelais, as a brother of the same order.
Thinks I to myself, so I am to thank that fellow up there
for being a Protestant I had remarked at Wittenberg
the peculiar tall glasses, a full foot high, with a glasT
cover (no stems), and afterwards at Berlin I saw Luther's
drinking cup, or vessel, made after the same jolly fashion.
J showed me his residence, now a College, where
he said a good deal of mysticism prevails. J drove
with us, in a hired carriage, to our quarters, about an
hour's ride through deep sand to Pruhlitz, a very tiny
village. We passed, by the way, a well miraculously
discovered by Luther when he was dry, by a scratch of
his staff in the sand — he looked more like the tapper of
ale barrels. In our quarters I had for a wonder, a four-
post bed with the old feather beds below and above, and
as the bed was made at an angle of thirty-five degrees, I
slept little more than I should have done on a ^ Russian
mountain," always sliding down and getting up again.
Hereabouts this slant was quite the fashion. Partridges
are so plentiftil about Leipsic and Wittenberg, as to be
three groschen the brace. Next morning we got to the
Mark of Brandenburg. We went over sands, and such
desolate, bleak, bare heaths, I expected on every ascent
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216 1CEH0BIAL8 OF THOICAS HOOD.
to come in sight of some forlorn sea-ooast (we took often
short cuts across country, rendezvousing in the high
roads). Our march Listed eight and a half hours, hav-
ing a grand parade (as rehearsal) on the way, and were
quartered at last at I^ichel, near Treuenhritzen, so call-
ed as the onl j place that stood true to Frederic the
Great
When we arriyed here, the whole population had
turned out to see us, as military do not often appear in
such parts. The females look very picturesque —«- for
the single wear black head-dresses, the married ones,
quite a game of rouge et noir, I don't think Ck)ok
could have been more wondered at by the Sandwichers, '
than I was by the I^ichelites. A party waited in front
of the house, and pointed me out whenever I came to the
window, and stared with only the glass between us, as
heartily as if they had really been sheep and not merely
skins. The Captain of the 11th company (mine was the
10th) called politely to see how I was lodged. ♦ ♦ ♦
I was much amused in the evening to see the gaunt hogs
trotting home of their own accord, from I know not
where — each going into his own quarters as regularly
as we did — and the geese the same, though some next
door houses were infinitely to appearance more selectable
than their neighbours.
I saw a goose wait for a long while at a house, where
no door happened to be open, till at last she was admit-
ted. I will give you a recipe for our dinner. First make
some rice-milk rather watery, and stew in a few raisins.
Then cut a fowl in pieces, six perhaps, and make a broth
with it. Pour the first dish and the second together, and
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MEMORIALS OF THOMAS HOOD. 217
the mess is made. We had two beds for three ; sp De
Franck slept on the straw. Next morning we got to
Belitz; from here we rode across to Schlunkendorf,
quartered with De Franck and another at a miller's.
Millers', by the way, are the best quarters everywhere,
though we got but two beds, and so De Franck was lit-
tered down. I went out after dinner, and could see noth-
ing but a sandy waste with a windmilL In my yellow
boots and figured robe (Mrs. D.'s present), I was not at
all out of costume, for such an Arabian-like scene. Next
day being a rest, I took advantage of it to push on to
Potsdam to see all I could. Here ended my actual
marching with the regiment, for the next morning the
King came to Potsdam to review it He was much
pleased; but as an instance of his love for military
minutise, and correct ear, when they were giving him
cheers, the huzzas and the drums did not time exactly
together, and he exclaimed ^ What beating is that ? "
Everything about Potsdam smacks of the Great little
Frederic, but nothing is more striking than the supera-
bundance of statues. They swaarmi — thare is a whole
garrison turned into marble or stone, good, bad, and in-
different They are as numerous in the garden as the
promenaders; there is a Neptune group, for example,
without even the apology of a pond. The same at Sans
Soud — in fact, everywhere. The effect, to my taste, is
execrable, or ridiculous. Solitude and stillness seem the
proper attributes of a statue. We have no notion of
marbles mobbing. I saw, of course, all the apartments
and relics of Frederic. The chairs torn by bis dogs, his
writing-table, &c. The Watteaus on the walls, contain-
VOL. I. 10
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218 HEKOBIALS OF TUOHAS HOOD.
ing the recarring heUe Barberini, pleased me mucli ; he
seems to give a nature to courtliness, and a courtliness to
nature, that make palace-gardens more like faiiy-land,
and their inhabitants more like Loves and Graces than
I fear they be in reality. I was much interested by a
portrait of Napoleon when consul (said to be very like),
over a door in the palace. It had a look of melancholy
as weU as thought, with an expression that seemed to
draw the heart towards him. There must have been
something likeable about him, to judge by the attachment
and devotion of some of his adherents ; but I could not
help believing before the picture, that when younger, he
had been of a kinder and more benevolent disposition
than is generally supposed.
One of the other curiosities was the present king^s bed
— a mere crib. I visited the Peacock Island, of which
I thought little ; and two of the country-seats, the Crown
Prince's and Prince Charles's. The first in the style of
an Italian villa, with frescoes, in the medallions of which
are introduced portraits of personal friends, &c. ; but the
German physiognomy does not match well with the Ital-
ianesque. The public are admitted into the gardens —
even when the Prince is enjoying himself in them with
his parties : this is very, almost ultra, liberal ; but it
seems to me a German taste to enjoy nothing without
this publicity. At Prince Charles's (he is attached to the
sea, and wished to be a sailor) I saw some annuals on his
table, and an English caricature ; abo English prints and
pictures hung in the rooms. He is partial to us, and I en-
tered my name in a book he keeps to know of his visitors.
I saw some fine pictures in the gallery — Titians; a most
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HEMOBIALS OF THOMAS HOOD. 219
miracnlons living hand of flesh and blood, as it seemed
to me to be, in one of them.
I entertained some of the officers here to luncheon ;
thej dined by invitation with the Guards, who gave
them a dinner, first for the king, and secondly for them-
selves. I saw here the Bussian colony, living in cot-
tages h la Suisse. I saw, of course, the famous mill that
beat Frederic in a battle, like Don Quixote ; and I sat
down at Frederic's table where he worked, with a statue
of Justice in sight through a window at the opposite end
of the room — "a conceit ! a miserable conceit I " — that
he might always keep justice in view. An acted pun I
As his favourite dogs were all buried with a tombstone
apiece, very near Justice's feet, there ought to have been
some meaning there, too ; but I could not find or invent
it, unless that Justice had more to do with dead dogs
than with living ones.
The garrison church, externally, looks like an arsenal,
't is so be-stuck with helmets, flags, and military trophies,
carved in stone ; but in the interior it is worth one's
while to go into a dark narrow tomb,.just under the or-
gan, only to reflect .on the strange chances of finding
Frederic and his father so near, and yet so peaceable, as
they lie side by side — not " lovely and pleasant in their
lives, but in their deaths not divided."
And now, my dear D., with kind regards to Mrs.
Dilke,
Believe me ever
Your fidthful friend,
Thomas Hood.
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MQ mVOlBALB OF THOMAS HOOD.
Ob retnniBg fiom Berlin, my fiiflier settled down to
eomplete, as far as possible, tbe matter and drawings for
^^ German book. In one of my mothci's letters to
Bn^and, sbe aay^ •* Too win be glad to hear Hood in-
leods serioosly to study German daring the winter, and
I don't mean to let hk purpose oooL He ta&s of seeing
jg^gg^ of Geimany in die spring * (Here my fidher
seems to have been at his old tricks again of embel-
lishing my nwther'B letters, for there Mlows in his
own handwriting). «At present Germany has seen
him. As at Berlin there was liondon porter, reasonable
Cheshire cheese, to say nothing of ccanarej smoked goose
bieasts, and other relishes ; he says he regalarly 'filled
his cavities.' After the discipline his stomach underwent
in soch villages as S<^ankendorf and Nichel tt is so
much improved in its tone, that I have veiy little of my
old trouble, and it was a trouble, in salting it He swears
that he eats * wtirsf even with a reli^. I wish be had
marched a year ^o, and almost regret with Mr. Dilke
that he is not in the army, i ^^^ to make him a
present of a w«dking-^ick on Kew-Tear's day, and to
make him trot out on errands.*'
Th, Germ«i book «Up the Rhine,- p««res8ed favour-
ably, the « Comic Annnal " oon.5i» i T «m
• V ,1 _. »!. * , coming out as usual, i can
jast recollect the actaal finish of the latt«r My fether
always wrote most by night, wh^u aU was quiet and the
bustle of the day and the Tir^;« « ^ .« j •
sleep. This jL I r^l^tZ- "^ "^ '^^'^ '"^ "
father and mother in the ' ^^''S *aked by heanng my
box of drawings andMSS totl T^' P*^"^ t^" ^^'^
land. When they found I ^ **^ "^ *>y steamer to Eng-
'^** a^vake my mother came
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MEMOBlALft or THOMAS HOOD.
221
in and rolled me up in a huge shawl, installing me in an
arm chair ; we then finished up with a merry supper
(though it must have been nearer morning than night)
my father, relieved from the anxiety and worry of his
work, brightening up through aU his fatigue, and joking
and laughing quite eheerfullj. Eaeh following year did
these finishing suppers take place, to celebrate the com-
pletion of the ^ Comic AnnuaL**
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222 MEMORIALS OF THOMAS HOOD.
CHAPTER IV.
1837.
At Coblenz. — Letters to Mr. Wright, Lieut, de Franck, and Dr.
Elliot— Leayes Coblenz. — Settles at Ostend. — Letters to Mr.
Wright, Dr. ElUot, and Mr. Dilke.
IN the beginning of 1837 mj father finally made up
his mind to leave Coblenz. Among other reasonsy
the difficulty of sending backwards and forwards was
really serious. ^'A month to come, and a month to go,"
as he writes to Mr. Wright, " makes a serious difference
in • time to me, and throws out all my plans." In
these days of easy railway locomotion, when there is a
line almost over even those primitive wilds he travelled
through on his march, this time seems fabulous. It is
curious to think how all these increased facilities for trav-
elling must have civilised those remote places, — such as
Schlunkendorf and Nichel, — and transformed, I will not
say improved, the Schultz and his fellow-villagers of the
sheepskin robes into very ordinary German peasants,
with fewer outlandish characteristics, and with possibly
less honesty.
762, Alten Graben, Ooblenz, 18(% January^ 1887.
My dear Wright,
I have no doubt but the Count you are doing some
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MEMORULS OF THOMAS HOOP. ^23
cuts for, is the same that Prince Radziwill mentioned to
me, as engaged on a work on modern German ark. The
Prince alluded to the excellence of our wood-ciUting.*
You would do well to send the Count some of your hest
specimens; I saw some wretched German woodcuts in
the Berlin exhibition. I think the name I recollect was
something like Raczynski. I should not be surprised if
seeing the Comic had suggested you to him as good
wood-engravers. The Germans cannot cut ; and if they
could make fine cuts, couldn't print them. And yet
Albert Diirer, a German, was the founder of the art I
am hard at work at my German book. You will soon
have a box. Some of the subjects are larger than usual,
and must be printed the long way of the page. Have
the goodness to make a polite message to Messrs. Saun-
ders and Otley for me, saying, that till I return to Eng-
land I cannot well undertake any such arrangement as
they propose; but that when I come back I shall be
open to offers of the kind. Indeed, for the next six
months my hands are full.
I have no time to write more, except to present all
good wishes and seasonable compliments to yourself and
Mrs. W. Pray remember me kindly to aU friends, not
* Those who remember the rudeness of the Comic cuts, or even
of ^ Up the Bhine/' will smile at this. I don^t suppose Messrs. Linton
or Dalziel would allow their apprentices to turn out such blocks. The
art appears to have been bound in Grerman swaddling-clothes from
Diirer's time until Bewick released it, since when it has made strides
worthy of an ogre in seven-league boots. I take this opportunity of
publicly expressing the thanks of my sister and self to the engraver,
who has cut the illustrations for this work with such great spirit and
fideUty. — T.H.
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224 MEMORIALS OF THOMAS HOOD.
forgetting poor Ned Smith. Did I name a book for
Harvey ? But I trust to you, who know my wishes, to
rectify all casual mistakes and omissions.
I am, my dear Wright,
Yours ever truly,
Thomas Hood.
I shall write a chapter on Grerman Draughts (of Air),
and their invention of cold-traps. I have a stiff neck,
that goes aU down my back, and then comes up the other
side, thanks to their well-staircases and drying lofts in the
attics.
762, Altkit Gsabbh, CSoblbbtz, Apnl 2trd^ 188f .
Mt deab Johnnt,
Are n't you glad to hear now that I Ve only been ill
and spitting blood three times since I left you, instead of
being very dead indeed, as you must have thought from
my very long silence. I began a letter, indeed, a long
while ago ; but, on hearing of the setting off of the box,
I waited for its arrival, and a precious wait it was. Only
a month and three days, and my box was still longer in
going to London. Hurrah for German commerce ! It
must thrive famously with such a quick transit ! One
might aknost as well be in America.
I had a sharp brush with the Customs' officers after all,
for they wanted to unpack it at the office, which I would
not stand. I think I scared Deubel, I was in such a rage ;
but I gained my point. You know last year they offered
to send an officer to the house, and even declined to see
it at all ; so I told them. There was a full declaration of
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MEMOBIALS OF THOMAS HOOD. 225
every article, and I was charged for ^ plumbing^ by which
I understand the putting of leaden seals on, but there was
no trace of anything of the kind. To make it worse, I
have since ascertained that the scoundrels had already
opened it at Emmerich. This has been such a sickener
to me that I have made up my mind to leave this place,
with no very pleasant recollections of its courtesy towards
strangers.
However, I shall have my revenge : the materials of
my book are in London, and so let the Bhinelanders look
out for squalls. I hope you wiU like the tackle ; it all
came safe ; and Wright assures me it is the very best
made, and at the wholesale price. I send the Prince's
and Wildenbmch's at the same time. The bad weather
for fishing hitherto will make the delay of less conse-
quence. Did you ever know such hot and cold, such
snow and rain ? It has been killing work ; we were all
well ^ gripped ; " and a nasty insidious disease it is, leav-
ing always its marks behind it. I have got all my books
(save one, which is out of print) for the Prince, in the
newest &shion of binding.
Tim, says he, I laughed heartily at your description of
the fishing at Bromberg, for you seemed in a whimsical
dilemma enough; and so, after wishing with aU your
heart, soul, and strength to be within reach of salmon,
you were frightened at them when you had them at
handl
I should be rather nervous for my tackle myself. It
would have been no use writing to R j who knows
no more about it than I do: nor have I any practical
salmon-fisher of my acquamtance — they are chiefly
10*
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226 MEMORIALS OF THOMAS HOOD.
Scotch and Irish. But I am pretty certain of this point,
that there is nothing peculiar in it from other fly-fishing,
but that all use stronger tackle, lai^r bright flies, big as
butterflies, and that you must play with the fish a won-
derful deal more, — say half or three quarters of an
hour, — to wear them out There is a famous winch
and line coming with this. If I were you, I would get
up some sort of a German rod extempore, put this winch
on it, and make the experiment before risking your good
rod. For myself, Johnny, I must give up all hope of
ever wetting a line at Bromberg; not only are my
marching days over, but I fear I shall never be able to
travel again. I am now sure that this climate, so warm
in summer and so cold in winter, does not suit my Eng-
lish blood. Inflammatory disorders are the besetting
sin of the place. Witness poor Dilke. And at my last
attack Dr. told me he saw the same thing every day.
The man who bled me, and there are several bleeders
here, told me he had attended eighty that month. More-
over, I had been not merely moderate, but abstemious ;
at one time only drank Jane's ginger-wine, and at my last
attack was actually only taking two glasses of wine a
day. We even get good English porter now at the
Treves Hotel, and I dare not touch it!
This low diet does not at all suit me. When I was a
boy I was so knocked about by illness (and in particular
by a scarlet fever so violently that it ended in a dropsy)
that as I grew up I only got over it by living rather
well. Besides, as all doctors know, studious pursuits
exhaust the body extremely, and require stimulus at
times, so I have made up my mind to decamp. My pres-
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MEMORIALS OF THOMAS HOOD. 227
ent idea is per Cologne and Aix to Ostend or Antwerp,
when I shall be able to get over to England in a few
hours at any time, if necessary ; and shduld I get strength
to travel, I can see something of Belgium and France.
I rather incline to Ostend on account of the sea air, which
always does me great good* I shall regret the children
not completing their German here ; but the difficulty of
intercourse (which neutralizes all my efforts to be early
with my books) and the climate forbid it ; and, in addi-
tion, I have quite a disgust to Goblenz, or rather its
inhabitants. I have begun German myself, through
L ^ but that must be at an end. I find him as a
German Jew better than the Jew Germans of the
place. I have .not seen the General, "cos why?" I
have only crossed the door three times, perhaps six, since
I came from Berlin. But I shall call some day be-
fore I go. When my plan is once arranged I shall go at
once. Towards the end of this month, I suppose, I shall
trouble the chub again for the last time. I have some
famous large chub flies by the box — some like small
cockchafers. I am not sure whether my chest will stand
the casting. It is miserable work, Tim, to be such a
shattered old fellow as I am; when you, who are in
years my senior, are gallivanting about like a boy of nine-
teen ! The artist who is coming out to take my portrait
will have a nice elderly, grizzled head to exhibit I What !
that pale, thin, long face the Comic I Zounds I I must
gammon him, and get some friend to sit for me. Apropos,
I sent up two months ago a box full of sketches of my
Rhine book; and I had managed such a portrait of
D in a Bhenish spare bed I I have drawn, too, the
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228 MEMORULS OF THOMAS HOOD.
captain, who gave me leave to make use of his joUj red
nose, Mr. Schultz, Mrs. Schultz, and all, not forgetting
the maid in the pillory-ruff at Burg-Kremnitz. D'ye
know, Johnny, I half suspect the Rhinelanders op^ed my
box going down, and were not best pleased at my sketches
of some of the dirty dandies hereabouts, which perhaps
makes 'em so uncivil Should all happen that I have
wished to the Coblenzers in general, and the- Douane in
particular, during the last ten days, they will be far from
comfortable. Only imagine that I blessed everything for
them down to their pipes. They have the worst of the
French character without the best of the German. I
have no news to tell you about them ; how should we
pick up any, for we are not on speaking terms with any
one in the place, save the two teachers. Nor have I
been to the Military Casino, so that I cannot answer
your inquiry how the young ladies take the loss of
the 19th.
I have just asked L if there is any local news.
He knows nothing except that this last winter there have
been more balls and parties than usual, so that the ladies
have not kept their faith to the 19th.
As to the breaking off the verlohbing with Von B.
we have not heard one word about it How should we ?
Perhaps it is not true, but has only been reported to quiz
you, and make you fancy yon have a chance again. But
I will drop that subject, or I shall make jou as savage as
you were one night with me and Wildegans, and even
with yourself, till I expected you would call yourself out.
Oh, Tim, she enjoyed hitting you over the heart, like the
man who had a donkey, with ^ a bit of raw.''
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UEMOBIALS OF THOMAS HOOD. 22C
She is learning English, of course for your sake says
you — but I forget I I see you in fancy twisting your
moustaches and pouting. Mrs. N y through L ^'s
means, is reading some of my Comics.
I guess they will puzzle her pretty considerably. Also
Mrs. A has had them. She and Captain A
have been living at the Weisser Rosa for months, and he
is a member of my club ; but we have not met, and they
are now going. I am not sorry to have missed them, for
I saw them pass, and they not only look queer people,
but awfully Scotch ! Besides, we have had our share of
luck in picking up friends on that side the water.
Since writing the foregoing, Tim, I am a little better ;
but was n't I in luck, after spitting blood and being bled,
to catch the rheumatism in going down-stairs. I ordered
leeches on my foot, and the wounds bled all night, so I
was uncommonly low, as you may imagine. I suppose 7.
shall get out some day. This morning I was going to
have a ride for the first time, but it clouded over, and I
gave it up. What a precious season we have had-^-
eight months' winter. But now the ice will be broken
up, and you will be blessing me for not sending your
tackle. It has had to wait here ahnost a week for a
frach-wagen, which only goes on Sundays. I had little
or no news from London by the package, but I have
heard that poor Dilke is in a very precarious state : he
does n't rally well, and the least illness flies to the old
place. The last account, though, was a little better.
What do you think, Tim, of a black man, who by
dancing and singing one little song called ^ Jim Crow,"
has cleared, in Londim and America, 30,000^ I There 's
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230 HEMOBIALS OF THOMAS HOOD.
one string to jonr bow for jon ! I never heard of the
history of the bit of Stilton that went on to Bromberg.
The Cheshire we send makes Welsh rabbits well — don't
foi^t to tiy it Also jon will find some ginger for
ginger-beer. I send a box of lozenges for ^ Gransericb,"
for the eold drill mornings. I shall always be glad that
I saw jou as far on jour road as I could ; but when I
look back and think how very little I have stirred out of
the house ever since I came from Berlin, that march
seems to me a dream.
I do not think that the book about it will come out
before the next Comic. I have been so delayed, the
spring season for publishing is over. You'll be sure
to have it I have drawn you just as you came dripping
out of the Lahn, and I mean to try some way or other to
commemorate Wildegans. Tom Junior does not forget
any of you. The other day he pointed to that old fat
major or colonel of the 29th, who walks about with a
thick stick, and laughed, and said : *< There is Franck."
He says "Franck bought Bello — BeUo is Tom's
dog" — and he always toasts Yildidans and Tarlyvitz
when he gets a drop of wine. He talks a strange jumble
of English and German, and English according to the
German Grammar. " That is hims," " There is you's
chair," « Will you lend it for me," &c, &c Fanny is
very well again, and very good ; Jane is as usual ; she is
now drinking porter, at which I look half savage. Only
think, porter and Cheshire cheese, and I dare n't take
both! I must n't even sip, and I long to swig. Nothing
but water. I shaU turn a fish soon, and have the pleasure
of angling for myself. I cun almost, melancholy, for I
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MEMOBIALS OF THOMAS HOOD. 231
never liad any serious fears about my health before ; my
lungs were always good. But now I think they are
touched too. I 've bad a sort of plaister on my chest
which will not heal ; but I won't bother you with my
symptoms. In spite of all this, I ordered this morning a
new fishing-jacket — a green one ; so yon see I mean to
show fight, and keep on my legs as long as I can. But
one must reckon the fishing calendar a month later;
those that used to spawn in May will do it in June, I
expect Of course they would not come out while there
was snow. I meant to have got some gudgeons this
month, which is the prime, or ought to be the best
season — but this is all gone by. I have such difficulty
in writing, I cannot send you so long a letter as I should
wish : it is some exertion to me at present to think of
any thing : I am obliged to keep myself quiet.
Moreover there is so little news stirring that it is not
easy to fill up a letter. Mind and give my remembrances
most kindly to every one of my old comrades, and
pray thank them for thinking of me. I only wish I
could put myself under our Captain's orders again, and
have to trouble your Quartermaster.
It will be a pleasant subject for life for me to think
upon that same march — for though I was not on speak-
ing terms with many of your officers, I was not the less
friendly. Do not forget my best respects to the Colonel,
whenever you see him, — nor my compliments to the
Major : I suppose Carlovicz is not with you, but send our
regards to him — and tell him Tom is an excellent mas-
ter to Bello — indeed more attentive to him than to me
even — for at the least scratch at the door, whatever play
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232 MEMORIALS OF THOMAS HOOD.
he is engaged in, he breaks off to go and let in his dog.
Say everything kind to Wildegans — he and I ought to
insure each other's lives. I hope he likes the Bromber-
gian quarters.
I cannot give more particular messages, for the names
are very difficult to spell — but I trust to you not to cmiit
my compliments to every officer of my acquaintance in
our regiment I must, however, especially name my own
quarter-comrades Yon £y:>nkowsk], and Yon Heugel, of
whose attentions I retain a grateful impression, oflen re-
curring in memory to Hagelstadt, Burg Kremnitz, Ni-
chel, and Schlunkendorf. Pray give me all the regimen-
tal news when you write. I shall not leave here till
June — and, at all events, you shall hear from me before
I move. We have our lodgings till 15th July, but shall
not stay so long as that ; and now, old feUow, Grod bless
you, and send you all sorts of luck, and happiness, and
sport, and promotion — everything you wish. May you
puU out salmons, and may salmons pull you in, but with-
out drowning you. I say, Tim, says he, if I was at
Bromberg would n't we have fun ; but that 's over. So
as Mahomet said to the mountain — ** why if I can't
come to you, why you must come to me." Farewell and
Amen, says, my dear Johnny,
Yours ever truly,
Thomas Hood.
Bather better to-night
Your box leaves here with this — acknowledge receipt
ofaU.
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MEMORIALS OF THOMAS HOOD, 233
T62, Al,tev Gbabbn, Saiurdajf, tdih AprOf 1887.
Mr deab Franck,
I quite forgot to ask in my letter for what I wanted.
If you can spare it then, not otherwise, please to send me
the book the old clergyman gave jou on the march, of
military songs.
I mean that where he says his sweetheart is his belt,
his knapsack, his firelock, &;c, Sec ; if you have it not,
tell me the name of it*
* I give the literal translation of this song, and the comment on it,
from '' Up the Bhine." Would not Mr. Theodora Martin translate it
veU? — T.H,
" It smacks of the Yory spirit of Uncle Toby and Coiporal Trim,
and seems written with the point of a bayonet on the parchment of a
dram.
''lOYE language of a UERRT TOUNG 80LDIEB.
" 0, Gretel, my Dove, my heart's Trumpet,
My Cannon, my Big Drum, and also my Musket,
Oh, hear me, my mQd little Dove,
In your still little room.
" Your portrait, my Gretel, Is always on guard.
Is always attentive to Love's parole and watchword;
Your pictnra is always going the rounds —
My Gretel I call at every hour.
" My heart's knapsack is always full of you,
My looks they are quartered with you;
And when I bite off the top-end of a cartridge
Then I think that I give you a kiss.
" You alone are my Word of Command and Orders,
Yea, my Right-face, Left-face, Brown-Tommy, and Wine,
And at the word of command, * Shoulder arms,'
Then I think you say, ♦ Take me in your ann*.'
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234 MEMOBIALS OF THOMAS HOOD.
I have heard from London, and am happy to say Dilke
is considerably better, trhich is a very great relief to us.
All concur in advising me to quit this ; in fact, I feel
sure that another winter and summer here would kill me
between them.
So we are going — that's decided — on the Ist of
June — a week earlier if we can get all our arrange-
ments made. I am better, and feel quite pleased with
the thought of leaving Coblenz, of which I am heartily
sick — for it has nothing now to make us regret it, but
the mere beauty of the scenery. We shall go to Ostend
for the sea : if we do not like it to Bruges, Ghent, or
Brussels, for as I do not expect to come to the Continent
again, I mean to see a little of Flanders and France,
should I be strong enough, while there ; and then we are
so near we can pass over to England in a few hours
whenever we like.
Dilke says he will not swear he wonH come over to
see us, though he had such bad luck in his visit to us
here. There is a gentleman coming out shortly with
the Comics, so I will send you one, and one for Prince
Charles, if you like to send it By the time you receive
this I hope you will have your box quite safe. Don't
*' Your eyes sparkle like a Battery,
Yea, they wound like Bombs and Grenades;
Black as Gunpowder is your hair,
Your hand as white as Parading-breeches.
*' Yes, you are the Match, and I am the Cannon;
Have pity, my love, *and give Quarter, —
And give the word of command, * Wheel round
Into my heart's Barrack Yard.* "
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MEMOBIALS OF THOMAS HOOD. 235
forget to toast some of your cheese, it makes famous
Welsh rabbits^ "We sup on them four nights a week. I
suppose, Johnny, all mj fishing will ^^ suffer a sea
change," and I must adapt my tackle for flounders, soles,
whiting, cod, and mackereL
As to wittles and drink, Goblenz is worse than ever.
There is no Bavarian beer now, and no Westphalian
hams ! Deubel pulls a very long face at our going, and
no wonder, for there are lists of "lodgings to let" as
long as your arm. I never saw so many before. I am
riding out every fine day to gain strength, and bid good
bye to the views. We don't take Elatchen with us, who
has been trying hard to go, as well as to be made resid-
uary legatee as to all our things here — modest impu-
dence !
Tim, says he, I saw a fight between men here the
other night for the first time. It was good fun, two to
one ; and did n't they pull hair like gals, and then haul
him down, and give him a good unfair beating while he
lay on the ground I And did n't he go away, wiping his
bloody nose, for good as I thought, but came back again
with three or four allies ; and the others, at least one of
the others, was ready with a mighty big bit of wood ;
and did n't the women squall, and run out to see with
candles, though it was hardly dusk; and did n't they
screech like a knife on a plate, and lug the men about I
Then the fellows all gobbled like turkey-cocks — such
explosions of gutturals I You know what thick voices
the common people have. And then they began to fight
again ; and a lot of men, women, and children bolted up
all sorts of streets, sauve qui pent I don't know how it
ended, so I won't say.
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MEMOBIALS OF THOBCAS HOOD.
And now, old fellow, God bless yon. I will write
again with the Comic when it comes. The Dilkes desire
kind remembrance to jou; so does Jane, and Fanny
ditto, and Tom ditto ditto. Don't foi^t me to all the
19th, including the staff, and believe me, from my top
joint to my butt.
My dear Tim,
Yours very truly,
Thomas Hood.
762, Alter Gbabxh, OobIiBHZ, Jpril 28A, 1887^
Mt deab Doctor,
Many thanks for your kind letter ; it positiyely did me
good. But you seem seldom to put p^i to paper without
that effect, whether in letters or prescriptions. I wrote
a very brief notice of the state of m;^ health to Mr.
Wright
The Grermans drink low sour wines, and have a hor^
ror here of anything that hecUs them in the way of drink,
such as Spanish wine, &o. Yet, in spite of this care,
they are subject to inflammatory attacks very commonly.
The grippe here took that character very decidedly.
Fanny was obliged to have leeches on . her face.
Tom's was highly inflamed, and had a great discharge
from his nose and behind his ear, which were very sore.
Mr. Dilke's attack here was attended with strong inflam-
mation. We have heard only yesterday of an Ei^lisb
lady obliged to have leeches ; in fact, there are standing
advertisements in the town papers where leeches are to
be had cheap. I know of three barber-surgeons who
bleed ; there may be more. The one who bled me in
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KEMOSIALS OF THOMAS HOOD. ^37
February is only just set up, and he told me fae had bled
eighty that month ; one may say two hundred and fifty,
between the three operators, witJb safety. Inflamed eyes
are extremely common here, and th^e is a peculiar
inflammation of the whole face called the ^^rose." I
dare say the causes may be found in the y^ry great
changes of temperature here, both abroad and at home.
The sun is ^ery much warmer tiian in England, and the
winds are much colder.
It is dangerous to pass from the sun into the shade.
Then in the houses their mode of building is the worst
possible. This one is a fair sample. Below, a passage
right through the house, with front door to the street
and back door to the yard, always open till af)«r ten at
night From the middle of this passage a well staircase
right up through the house, terminating in the garrets,
where the high roofs are full c^ unglazed windows or
holes, for the special purpose of creating draughts for
drying linen. On this stair, or open landings, all your
room-doors open ; so that you step out of a close stove-
heated room into a thorough draught of the street air.
I tried it once by thermometer : the room was 60°, and
outside 45**. The winters are very cold, and doubly so
in these comfortless buildings. I used to £uicy the Ger-
mans never cut their hair, by way of defence against
cold in the head, but I saw two fight the other day, and
the hair was of the greatest feminine use, namely, to pull
at My last attadL of spitting blood came <m the mo-
ment afier gcnng down the stairs ; and the first time I
came up them again I caught the rheumatism, and had
leedies on my foot, whidi bled all night So I aid some-
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288 MEMORIALS OF THOMAS HOOD.
what reduced, and the diet here is anything hat nourish-
ing. Take for example the present hill of fare : no fish
ever, no poultry now, no game of course, never any pork,
veal killed at a week old, heef from cart-cows, and
plough-bullocks, which when cold is as dry and almost
as white as a deal board. The very bread is bad, poor
wheat mixed with rye and inferior meals. The people
are poor, and the ground is wretchedly over-cropped.
It is a beautiful country indeed to the eye, but I shall not
regret leaving it. There are no books within reach, and
no society, which I need not to care about, for the tor-
pidity or apathy of mind in these people is beyond belief.
German phlegm is no fable ; but you will have a book
about them next half-year with plenty of sketches. The
communication, too, with London is so vexatious and
slow (it takes above a month) as to be a serious evil to
me. I had resolved on a change on this account alone,
when my last illness clenched my decision. We are
going to Ostend, where I shall be not only within reach
of England, but hope to be benefited by the sea-air,
which always did me the most marked good. I have
tried in vain to master German, partly from its difficulty,
and partly from having only the intervals between my
attacks for all I had to write or draw. But Fanny talks
it fluently, and Tom understands it perfectly as well as
English. Fanny is very well now; and Tom a fine
hearty fellow, full of fiin, which his motley jargon makes
very comic The "Jane," too, wears very well. For
myself, I keep up my spirits on my toast-and-water,
which is all I drink, save tea and cofiee, and seem rally-
ing again. I have a sort of appetite, too, if there were
anything worth eating.
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MEMORIALS OF THOMAS HOOD. 289
I really cannot do as the invalids do here. Mrs. Den-
6el, our landlady, as the first luxury on recovering from
the grippe, comforted her inside with a mess of dried
buUaces in sour wine ! Head only tells half the truth,
for instance, of the breeches maker, who ate a bowl-full
of plums ; but he does n*t hint that he swallowed all the
stones. I know that 's their way of eating cherries I I
could tell you some strange stories. The mortality here
has been great, but of young children it is painfully so
all the year round. And no wonder — the other day a
mother called in a barber-surgeon to save expense. The
child had a rash — he put ice on the head — turned the
red spots blue and black, and it died.
When we are at Ostend you will perhaps be tempted
to come over, and see us and the country.
The cities in Belgium are interesting, and all within
easy reach. I think I shall make a strange sitting to an
artist, who wants my portrait for next year's exhibition !
I look more like the Rueful Knight than a Professor
of the Comic.
Pray tell Mrs. Elliot that the man at Moselweis,
whither we went by moonlight, who had only a bit of
plum tart in his house, failed subsequently, as might be
expected, but another has taken the gardens, and they
are as popular as ever. I hope it has not given her
a taste for White Conduit House, and the like. But
it was a sample of our German manners and amuse-
ments.
I have not learned smoking yet; but hate it worse
than ever, since I see its effects on the mind and the per-
son. However, should I leave Germany, I have intro-
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240 MEMOBIALS OV THOMAS HOOD.
daoed angling and am the Izaak Walton of the Bhine,
Moselle, and Lahn.
I shall write a less selfish egotistical letter when I get
to Ostend, to tell jou how it agrees with me, as well as
some little anecdotes, &;&, I have not now time or space
to get in ; besides being a little weary of holding my pen.
I flag at times rather suddenly, of coarse from weakness.
Jane promises to write too, when settled, in answer to
Mrs. E/s kind letter, to whom she sends her kind re-
gards with mine; and Fanny begs to mingle — not fbr^
getting Willy.
I am, my dear Doctor,
Very truly yours,
Thos. Hood.
I was ordered lately a sort of slow bli^r on the chest,
which would only stick on by help of strips of adhesive
plaister.
The grippe seemed to cause « great deal of this hu-
mour here.
It has been a nasty malignant disease, infinitely worse
than the influenza as we used to have it in England.
The people have a great horror of what they call a ner-
vous fever. They say the French brought it &om Mos-
cow. But I suspect the sour wines here are very bad,
per 86.
762, AiiTEir Gbabek, Coblbnz, May 4(&, 1887.
My deab Wbioht,
* * * *
As regards ^ Up the Rhine,*' I am glad you fiked the
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MEMORIALS OF THOMAS HOOD. 241
drawings; jou are right about them, they will require
engraving^ and I should like them well done. They are
not like the Comic cuts, mere jokes ; but portraits and
fa&-similes of the people, &c.,' and should be correctly
done. I hope to make it altogether a superior booL I
shall have another set of go6d ones to send you ; which
you may show to Harvey if you like. I had a rare
bother about the box with the customs. It had been
opened at the frontier ; and they wanted to open it again
here. But I had them — some wet had got in, and the
blocks were almost wet, and one of the bindings was a
little stained by damp. I admire the style of the Prince's
books. I did not venture any more than you to open the
Prince's things, they seemed so well packed, but sent
them off as they were. And Franck*s are gone, too,
with a bit of cheese ! It is very good, and toasts capi-
tally. Ain't it provoking for me ? — by chance we can
get porter here just- now, and I dare n't touch a drop of it
with my cheese ! I 'm on toast and water, though very
low and weak. But I am getting better; and, as the
weather improves, shall ride out. I am delighted to
think of leaving here ; it is a beautiful country, and liv-
ing is cheap ; but I am worn out by these repeated
attacks and delays, with anxiety to boot ; and it is most
dismally dull here now. No one to converse with, and I
cannot see a book or know what is going on in the liter-
ary world — the " Athenaeum " excepted ; that %% some-
thing. But the worst of the ^ Athenaeum " is, it makes
me long to read some of the books it reviews. Then the
diet is so wretched for an invalid, and the domestic com-
forts few. The country is anything but the land of com,
VOL. I. 11 p
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242 MEMORIALS OF THOMAS HOOD.
wine, milk, and honey one would think to look at it ; and
the people are hateful — I mean unbearable — to Eng-
lishmen. They hate us I am quite convinced. I have
given up any idea of colouring my sketches, except per-
haps a bit here and there, as the caps in some carnival
figures to show they are the tricolour.
It is quite a comfort to us that Dilke is better ; he is
an old man though, he says. We were uneasy about
him. He says that, in spite of his sorry Rhenish trip, he
won't swear not to visit us at Ostend. Now that would
be quite a practicable distance for you, and it would do
us both good. I have some projects I could concert with
you there. I fancy already that I sniff the sea, and feel
it bracing me. I once literally left my bed for the first
time to get into the Brighton coach, and the next morn-
ing but one I was walking on the shingles. The sea is
life to me. I propose to quit here about the 1st of
June, — sooner if I can.
We talked with our landlord to-day about going. His
naturally extra-long face grew still longer. He com-
plained bitterly of the state of trade, want of money,
&c. ; and unluckily for him, though when I first came to
Coblenz I could hardly find a single place, there is now
a list in the paper, as long as your arm, of lodgings and
houses to let. I have been trying to learn German, but
it is very hard ; I am too deaf to catch the pronuncia-
tion, and when I do, can't imitate it And the grammar
is hard, and the construction too. The Germans are fond
of long-winded sentences ; and as the verb comes at the
end, you 're very much bothered. My teacher is a Jew,
a Doctor of Philosophy, and talks English, so I hoped
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MEMORIALS. OF THOMAS HOOD. 243
for some conversation ; but wherever we set out it ends
in buying, selling, and bartering. He is going to leave
Coblenz in about a month. We went all of us to tea
there the other day, and ate up all their Passover cakes
but two, and they must not just now eat anything else.
My fancies now are rather piscivorous, — I am think-
ing of skate, brill, turbot, dabs, and flounders, and even
what Jane once resented so, a red-spotted plaice. I have
at times quite longed for oysters, fancying they would
agree well with me — they are considered so nourishing.
Dilke would call me a humbug if I say there 's little
nourishment on the Rhine, but so it is, and it gets worse.
Last year Bavarian beer was to be had, none this ; West-
phalian hams ditto. And yet, oh yet when I look at the
Rhine, it is a lovely country, and I love the beautiful I
shall see all I can before I go, as I can carry all the
scenery vividly in my mind.
We have missed De Franck mucL By accounts from
him he likes Bromberg; it is a superb place for fishing;
but after wishing for salmon, they are so large there he 's
afraid to attack them on account of his tackle. I expect
there will be some droll work there. There are enor-
mous fish in their lakes, and all the party are unused to
our tackle : the Germans fish by main force. We have
a sea fish here, they call a May fish, comes as high as
this, but we do not expect it this season ; it is a very
inferior sort of bass.
I am glad to hear you liked my letters on copyright :
I have got the ^'Athenaeum" with the second part. I
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244 MEMORIALS OF THOKAS HOOD.
think, rememberiDg T , I let off the booksellers pretty
easily. I was glad at having such a subject in the
'^ Athenaeum ; " when I get nearer I hope to be in print
there more frequently ; for here, things I should like to
have my say on are gone by before I can come at them.
Ostend will be next best to being in Lond(Hi. I have
some thoughts of beginning a new series with next Comic
if I can hit on any novelty to distinguish it I have a
dim idea of one in my head.
The heat here is sudden, and would try us all if we
stayed through June. Jane, who has conquered a little
German for household use, will have to learn a new jar-
gon. They talk, I believe bad Dutch and French, and I
expect English also. The cities are very interesting,
and easy to get to — famous pictures to be seen ; so, if
yon contemplate coming, I will reserve my visits to them
for your company. I have lots of funny things to tell
you. When Dilke was here I did not get a single gossip
with him, he was too ill to talk or be talked to ; and when
better I was away at Berlin : so I should also stand some
chance here of dying of a suppression of ideas. Jane is
hearty in health now : Fanny very good, reads a good
deal, and remembers it to good purpose.. As for Tom,
he is a fine, funny, spirited fellow, with a good temper,
and very strong. Yours that I remember must be get-
ting into big boys. My godson ain't much the better for
his godfather's Christian looking-afler, is he ? And mine
are away from their godparents among Roman Catholics
and Jews. Fanny makes crosses of wax, and Tom is
very fond of Passover cakes. Our maid is a Roman
Catholic, but the easiest one I ever saw. She confesses
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MEMORIALS OF THOMAS HOOD. 245
only once a year, and very seldom goes to mass, from
sheer indolence. She is the most phlegmatic being I
ever saw.
<* Should the whole frame of Nature round her break,
She unconcerned would hear the mighty crack-—"
provided it did not hurt herself; a fig for Grerman phi-
losophy — it's all selfishness.
Pray give our kindest regards to Mrs. Wright, and the
same to yourself. I do now live in hones to see you be-
fore long, and so remain,
My dear Wright,
Yours ever truly,
Thomas Hood.
Pray don't forget to remember me to E. Smith, and
recommend to him, in my name, to hold his shoulders in-
stead of his sides when he laughs. Did I ever tell you
that there is a young man over the way so like you we
call him "John Wright." N. B. I will try to fatten my
face up for Mr. Lewis against he comes ! Tell B to
beware of falling out of gigs during a commercial crisis,
or people may think be 's broken. God bless you I Kind
regards to Harvey and all friends.
At this time we finally quitted Coblenz, travelling
down the Rhine by successive day's stages. The railroad
was then only just commencing, which has since afibrded
such increased facilities of speed and comfort It is to
be regretted that so little was known of Germany and
Belgium in those days. My father's constitution was as
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246 MEMOBIALS OF THOMAS HOOD.
unfitted for the miasmatic swamps and mists of Ostend,
as for the alternate extremes of heat and cold at Coblenz.
Bat for his exile to these coantries — an exile which he
miderwent for the faults of others — he might slill be
delighting the world with the later fruit of a genius that
had barelj attained its maturity at the time of his death.
89, Bus LonauK, Ostsxtd, June 2S(h, 1837.
Mr BEAR Wright,
You will see from the above address that we are not
only safe here, but settled, after a prosperous but slow
journey; nothing lost or broken but a little bottle of
marking-ink, so that it was luckily performed, with the
advantage of fine weather to boot Our exit from Ck)blenz
was worthy of the entrance : the farce did not, like many
modern ones, fall off at the end. We had a famous row
with our landlord. He rushed up his own stairs, and
shouted from the top, ^ Dumme Englander ! " and then
Jane had a scrimmage with him. R ^i played the
Italian traitor to both sides all the time. Finally, just
on the gunwale of the packet, as it were, they gave us a
finishing touch ; for Jane called to pay a bookseller on
the road, and he made her pay for a number more thaii
she had had.
As for Katchen, she cried at the parting point — part-
ly, I suppose, because we did not take her with us (for
she told all her friends she intended it), and partly be-
causci she was bidding farewell to good wages and to
enough to eat — a case, by her own account, rather un-
common with servants in Coblenz. We had a fine trip
down to Cologne, lodged comfortably, and took a coach
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MEMOBIALS OF THOMAS HOOD. 247
to Li^ge, with an old coachman, oddly enough, of the very
family we were going to visit. Next night at Imperial
Aix, and the following one, afler a long pull, and a fine,
but tremendously hot, day at M. Naglemacher's at Liege.
He has a beautiful country seat an hour's drive from the
city ; but I was so exhausted with heat and fatigue I could
scarcely speak, and kept my room all the evening, but
rested there, and enjoyed the two next days extremely.
There are beautiful grounds, rhododendrons, hill, wood,
and all quite to my taste, with a superb view. Moreover,
one of the most amiable and accomplished families I ever
met with. The lady paints in oils beautifully. I really
took them for good Dutch pictures. A delightful sweet
girl about ten made Fanny very happy, and Tom raced
about like a young Bed Indian, till he was half baked in
the sun.
The Nagelmachers all speak French except Made-
moiselle, so that Jane had to sit very like the matron of
the Deaf and Dumb School, but she made up for it with
our friend Miss Moore. We parted sworn friends with
the Nagelmachers ; ate and slept wretchedly at a dirty
inn at Tirlemont ; and the next night reached Brussels,
where we rested the Sunday, too tired to stir out, except
the children, who went to see St. Gudnle. Besides, it
was wet weather. I started next day with a new coach-
man for Ghent Slept at Ghent, and thence by track-
shuyt (or barge) through Bruges to this place, where we
arrived at seven in the evening in good style rather as to
fatigue, after such a long pull with children, luggage, and
bad health. I ventured to drink a glass of porter on
leaving Brussels, which helped me up amazingly, as for
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248 MEMORIALS OF THOMAS HOOD.
four or five montbs previouslj I had not positively touched
wine, beer, or spirit, till that hour. I then thought I
might have held the curb too tightly, but there was no
more porter to be had all the rest of the way. Jane, of
course, is fatigued very much, but no more than was to
be expected.
To do poor Fanny and Tom justice, they were models
for grown travellers, ate and drank whatever came before
them, slept when tired, waked all alive, talked and made
friends with everybody — waiters, maids, coachmen, and
all — so much so, that the coach was loaded with large
bouquets of purple and white lilac, and other flowers :
got into no scrapes except from exuberant fun, and came
in at the end as fresh as larks, though almost roasted from
sitting in the coach with their backs to the sun and no
blinds.
Give my remembrance to all, and come as soon, and
stay as long, as you can, Jane begs to say ditto, as I feel
sure it would do me good, body and mind, to see friends.
Yours, ever truly,
Thos. Hood.
89, Bus LosGUB, OsTSSHD, 80A Juney 1887.
Mt deab Wright,
Do not forget to write yourself, whenever you mean to
come, that we may meet you at the landing-place, and I
trust it will not be long before we have that pleasure ;
and have the kindness to bring with you the articles
mentioned at the end, chiefly books. I hope Mr. and
Mrs. Dilke will come to see us in our new quarters, oj
we shall die of suppressed jokes, stories, and argumentj^
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MEMOBTALS OF THOMAS HOOD. 249
we were to have had on the Rhine. We are just recov-
ering from the fatigue of our journey — poor wretched
travellers that we are — and I begin to enjoy myself as
well as my weakness will permit.
We have now been here a week, and I have exposed
myself to the sea-breeze to judge of its powers ; and, as
it has had no evil effect on my lungs, I begin to hope
they are not very unsound, and that in other respects for
sea-side enjoyment there cannot be a better place.
The Esplanade is very fine, and the sands famous
for our brats, whp delight in them extremely. We
munch shrimps morning and night, as they are very
abundant, and quite revel in the fish. I have dined
several days on nothing else, and it is such a comfort
to think of only that strip of sea between us, quick
communication by packets, and posts four times a week,
that I feel quite in spirits as to my work, and hopeful
as to my health. I am very weak, but otherwise as
well as can be expected from such repeated attacks.
But I have moved only just in time, for I feel con-
vinced the Bhine was killing me : between hurry, worry,
delay, tedium, disgust, the climate, and the diet, and the
consciousness with all these disadvantages, of no very
great improvement besides in health. I write a long
letter by this same post to Dr. Elliot, with further partic-
ulars that I may have the benefit of his advice, how to
live and keep alive.
I have now the comfort of thinking, that whatever
I may do will not be long in reaching you, whether
blocks or MS. It will even be possible here to see
the proofs; not that I undervalue your kindness in
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250 MEMORIALS OF THOMAS HOOD.
that respect, but the German book would haye onusnal
difficulties as to names, words, &c. I shall see some
of the Germans here, as some come for bathing ; and
I propose, if strong enough, to take a trip, by-and-bj,
through the old Flemish cities, which are well worth
seeing. Perhaps we may get together to one or two
of them, as the communication is easy.
Bring with you such of the German cuts as are
engraved, and arrange for as long a stay as you can,
as it will do me good to converse a little about old
times. The first news we had on arrival here was of
the King^s death, a kind old friend of mine. I do not
mourn for him visibly, for it is too hot for blacks ; and
the English here, who are all blacked at top, or bottom,
or in the middle, no doubt take me for an extreme Tory
or RadicaL The King and Queen of Belgium come
here in a fortnight; so that I shall be the neighbour
of royalty, as they will live in our street, only three
or four doors off. I am rather tired fix)m writing at
length to Elliot ; and, moreover, feeling you are to come
soon, I do not care to pen what I would rather say
personally. So, with kind regards to Mrs. W., in whidi,
with love to yourself and the boys, Jane and Fanny
join, not forgetting my godson in particular,
I am, dear W.^
Yours ever truly,
Thos. Hood.
Tom, whom I have told of your hand,* expects you,
* This is an allnsion to an accident which happened to Mr. Wright*8
hand while he was out shootiDg. ^ T. H.
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MEMOBIALS OF THOMAS HOOD. 251
and even anticipates jour appearance. You would laugh
to see him walk with one arm trussed up like a fowl's
wing, as he expects to see 70a.
Obtvstd, June 27(&, 1837.
Mt dear Dr. Elliot,
« « • •
I will now give you a sketch of our departure from
Coblenz. Beautiful as the Rhine is, J lefl its banks
without the slightest regret. Coblenz I was particularly
delighted to turn my back upon, for it was associated
with nothing but illness, suffering, disgust, and vexation
of spirit I left not a single friend or acquaintance with
a sigh. Lieutenant de Franck beipg at Bromberg since
October, and everything I had to do with the people,
especially at the end, was attended by circumstances ot
a kind almost to disgust one with human nature. The
history of our last ten days would present only a series
of petty robberies, just short of open force : lying, dis-
simulation, treachery, " malice, hatred, and all uncharita-
bleness."
First, a shopkeeper took a shilling, or its Grerman
equivalent, and swore it was only sixpence; then the
work-girl stole a handsome book, a recent present from
London to Fanny ; then came a bill for half-a-year in-
stead of a quarter ; then our maid grumbled because, as
we were going away, our tradespeople no longer tipped
her ; and then our landlord, knowing our witness was at
Bromberg, flatly denied a verbal agreement, and wanted
to make me repair, &c As a sample of his conscience,
he demanded sixteen dollars for whitewashing. I sent
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252 MEMORIALS OF THOMAS HOOD.
for a man, who offered to whitewash the whole place for
four and a-half, and the rascal himself took six. He,
moreover, conducted himself so that I threatened him
with a gens d'arme, whereupon he retreated, and vented
himself by shouting, *^ Dumme Englanders ! Stupid Eng-
lishers I " from the top of his own stairs.
Between our broken German and his broken French
it made a tolerable farce. Then a civil Ainctionarj and
his wife condescended to call and beg some of our fiirni-
ture and our stock of wood ! In fact, they cheated us to
the water's edge ; for Jane called to pay a bookseller a
door or two from the packet office, and he made her pay
for a book we had never had. And, finally, Jane only
discovered yesterday, that at the very last of the packing
the maid (not the old thief that you saw, but another)
had abstracted a new un-wom worked collar. This is
but a sample of the usual style. In short, with cheating
and downright thieving, I doubt whether we have econo-
mised much. At least we might have lived in England
in the same style (i. e., without carpets and other com-
forts, according to the national custom here) for the same
money.
It is not pleasant, nor even a^ pecuniary trifle, to pay
from twenty to thirty per cent, an your whole expendi-
ture, for being an Englishman — and you cannot avoid it ;
but it is still more vexatious to the spirits and offensive
to the mind to be everlastingly engaged in such a petty
warfare for the defence of your pocket, and equally
revolting to the soul to be unable to repose confi-
dence on the word or honesty of any human being
around you.
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MEMORIALS OF THOMAS HOOD. 253
In aggravation, I am persuaded that the English are
no favoarites with the natives.
They are too independent to be servile, and, when not
abject to German despotism, the natives are Frenchified
and Buonapartists. The proud poor barons detest the
English for their superior wealth ; and talk who may of
intellectual Germany, I have found none of their mental
acquisitions or ability. You will not be surprised to hear,
that so soon as I found we were out of Prussia, I threw
up all our caps, hats, and bonnets, with a mental vow
never to enter the Prussian dominion again.
Our entrance into Belgium was auspicious, on the
very finest day of the season.
The Belgian Douane opened a box or two, mistaking
me at first (what an unwelcome compliment) for a Prus-
sian, but passed all the rest I could have smuggled
very easily ; but a genuine Prussian, I understand, gets
well overhauled; and he deserves it, as their own system
is so rigorous. At Cologne we were so lucky as to get a
return co^ich to Li^ge, and the driver happened to be an
ex-coachman of M. Nagelmacher's ; so that we had no
difficulty at all. Madame N. had a German governess
from near Coblenz ; and (does n't it sound like preju-
dice ?) she was as disagreeable as her countryfolk. We
had a laughable description of her dignified descent to
the kitchen to fetch her supper, and her dignified marches
up again if it was not ready, for she would not conde-
scend to ask for it of the servants. The latter all called
her the Proud German. Here (at Li^ge) we had two
days' rest, then slept at Tirlemont, rested another day at
Brussels, slept at Ghent, and came on here by the canal
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254 MEMOBIALS OF THOMAS HOOD.
boat I saw nothings being fatigued, of any place we
passed through. But the cities are all highly interesting,
and at easy distances ; so that, when I get strong enough,
I shaU go round to them. Brussels seemed a nice little
city to live in. We like the aspect of this place ; the
sands are capital for the children, who are as happy as
can be with their shell baskets.
I ought to tell you that little Tom is a capital traveller,
ate, drank, and slept heartily, was always merry, and
chatted and made friends with everybody. All the
coachmen, waiters, maids, &c^ were in love with him ; so
that our trouble was less than might have been expected
with such a youngling. We had a very narrow escape
from damp sheets at an hotel at Aix, which advertises
itself as a connection with the Emperor's bath ; and really
the bed linen seemed just to have come out of it So
we slept without, and the chambermaid had the con-
science not even to show herself in the morning.
In my state such a mishap as a damp bed would be
serious. I could not help remarking that we paid the
dearest frequently at the worst hotels, as well as the best,
the middle ones being most reasonable, and in essentials
most comfortable.
I found the wide green landscapes of Belgium very
refreshing ; and the rich clover, fine com, and handsome
cattle in the meadows, partake something of the air of
a Land of Promise, after the delusive sordidness of
Khenish Prussia. The extreme cleanliness, too, as, for
instance, between Bruges and Ghent, was a delicious
feature ailer the German filth. But to enjoy them, peo-
ple should come from the Rhine to Belgium instead of
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KEMOBIALS OF THOMAS HOOD. 255
vice versdy the general route of our tourists, who go to
Antwerp instead of Rotteixiam, and thence to Brussels.
It is no slight relief to hear English and French, and
even Flemish, instead of that detestable gabble of gut-
turals, which may account, perhaps, for the Grerman
partiality to turkey-cocks. The people here are notori-
ously favourable to the English, and seem ciyil, good-
humoured, and obliging. They also look healthy. I
walked into the market on purpose to observe them, and
saw only ruddy faces, polished by the sea-air. If they
cheat us, which I do not yet know, they do it with more
civility and a better manner, which is something per
cantrcu
Our servant took a fancy to Tom, and has brought
him a little family relic, a china cup and saucer for his
especial use ; and our landlady actually thinks for us, and
keeps adding little articles of comfort for our use, though
I never saw lodgings so completely furnished, even to
umbrellas I In my own little room I have a chamber
organ, should I get weary of grinding my brains. And
the kitchen, little as it is, is complete, even to an eight-
day clodc. In fact, I feel we are very lucky, for some
old occupants have already applied for our apartments,
which speaks well for the people of the house, and the
place is filling, and every day lodgings get scarcer.
There are a good many English and some fore%ner9.
We shall have a few Grermans by-and-by to bathe, so
that I shall have an opportunity of seeing how they be-
have when away frran home. Our friends, Mr. Wright,
and probably Mr. Dilke, and probably Mrs. Dilke, are to
cotDB over to visit us shortly, so that we may have cards
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256 MEMORIALS OF THOMAS HOOD.
now with AT HOME upon them ; it is indeed but a step
across compared to our late distance ; and I felt it quite
a comfort to reflect, as I stood on the sand, that there is
but the sea and a few hours between me and England,
in case of extremity. I am none of thase who do, or
affect to, undervalue their own country, because they
happen to have been abroad. There is a great deal of
this citizen-of-the-worldship professed now-a-days — in
return for which I think the English only gets ridiculed
by foreigners as imbeciles and dupes. Overweening
nationality is an absurdity; but the absence of it alto-
gether is a sort of crime. The immense sums drawn
from England and lavished abroad is a great evil, added
to other pressures at home. We read that last year the
Romans were starving on account of the absence of the
English, deterred by the cholera ; and if such be the
effect of their absence on a foreign capital or country, it
must be injurious in as great a degree in their own. The
Spitalfields weavers starve ; and the waiter at the Belle
Yue at Coblenz rides his own horse in summer, and in
winter in his sledge in a cap of crimson velvet !
We are luxuriating on fish : it composes (with vegeta-
bles) my dinner as often as not.
For six cents we get as many shrimps as we can eat,
so that in addition to always dining, which was not often
the case in Coblenz, I always breakfast
I sometimes, since I have been here, find myself irre-
sistibly attacked by sleep in the afternoon ; but I attrib-
ute it to the morning walk and the sea air, as it has been
breezy weather, though fine, ever since we came.
I was never so strong or so stout in my life as aftei a
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MEMORIALS OF THOMAS HOOD. 257
SIX weeks at Hastings, when I went to recover from a
rheumatic fever. I sailed daily fair or rough; steer-
ing the boat myself, and drank always on my return
a large bowl of milk, with bread and butter by way of
lunch.
Perhaps if I find the sea air affect me favourably, I
had better try the boating again, which gives it in an
intenser dose. Up to this point (and at my last walk it
blew almost a gale), I have not felt any bad effect from
the sea air, being out at least two hours each time. We
think of bathing for Tom and Fanny. They visibly are
better already for the coast.
Indeed Tom looks quite handsome with his bronzed
little face and white teeth, and Fanny has acquired a
good colour; and there is no keeping them from the
loaf. We are all in mourning here for the King ; that
18 to say, we wear such black as we happen to have, —
myself not included, for I feel the heat so that I dress as
lightly as I can. I have no doubt I pass for something
extreme therefore in my politics, as the mourning is
very general here with the English. But, like an old
man, I give up to ease all dandyism, fashion, or forms
that might interfere with my comfort, and go in dishabille
of green and white.
Indeed the two last years have been as twenty to me
in effect, and I almost feel as if on the strength of my
weakness I could give advice, and dictate to young men
who were bom no later than myself. However, I hope
to see you again before I am quite grey and childish ;
and in the meantime pray accept my felicitations on the
satisfactory settlement of your brother, with my heartr
Q
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258 MEMORIALS OF THOMAS HOOD.
felt thanks at the kind interest 70a have taken in me,
and eveiy best wish I can think of towards yon and
yours, down to the hist little unknown. Jane unites with
me in kindest regards to Mrs. Elliot and yourself, and
Fanny begs me to add her love, which is echoed by Tom.
I am, my dear Doctor,
Ever truly yours,
Thomas Hood.
89, Bus LoirouB, Ostbnd, l^Jvh/, 1887.
Mr DEAR Wright,
« « « «
We find ourselves very comfortably settled now. If
you come, there is a spare bed for you, and another for
the Dilkes ; so that if you should come together there is
room for alL I am looking anxiously for your coming,
as I think it would do me good, and give me spirits to
finish off in style the books for this year. There are
four mail packets come every week, and one Company's
steamer. We have had famous weather, not one unfair
day since we came ; but if you prefer bad weather yoa
can wait for it, though I think it will be late this year.
There are still a few things I should like to have :
Talfourd's speech on copyright, Tegg's remarks on ditto,
and Lamb's Letters. I could perhaps make an article
for Dilke of the latter, and weave into it some anecdotes,
&c. of Lamb I was collecting before. It is published by
Moxon.
I cannot make up my mind to write any particulars to
you, as I look forward to the pleasure of telling them. I
get the ** Athenaeum " regularly here on the Wednesday ;
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MEMORIALS OF THOMAS HOOD. 259
and have been introduced to two people here, Colley
Grattan and — but the other I will show you, and then
surprise you with his name.
I wish I could end here without having worse news ;
but our dehtk here has not been in all respects lucky.
Poor Jane has had a terrible sore throat, so much so,
that I was obliged to call in a doctor ; who gave her two
grains of calomel only, but which seemed to revive all
she had taken in her former illness, and in consequence
she had her mouth in a dreadful state. A warm bath
will carry this off, and we have one within a door or
two ; but she has had a relapse with her throat, probably
from coming down too soon. I am assured it is not an
affection belonging to the place, which they say is very
healthy, and the people look so. Grattan has been here
some years, and speaks well of it too. Poor Tom has
had a most severe pinch with the street door, and has
lost the nail of his finger ; but let 's hope this is all the
footing we have to pay here.
And now, my good fellow, come as soon and stay as
long as you can ; and tell B not to make me quite
such an JSxile of Hearin\ And mind do not write to me
any of your poste restante but to the address at the head
of this. It will save postage if you bring your next
yourself. I cannot help thinking that perhaps, as the
French say, you are here next Saturday, in which hope
I sign and resign myself, dear Wright,
Yours very truly,
Thomas Hood.
Saturday will be St Swithin's day, so bring your urn-
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260 MEMOBIALS OF THOMAS HOOD.
brella. Thai puts me in mind of an impromptu on poor
William the lYth: —
'* The death of kings is ea^y explained,
And thus it might upon his tomb be chiselled —
' As long as TVill the Fourth could reign, he reigned.
And then he mizzled.* "
I am contemplating an ode to Queen Yictoria for the
"^ Athenaeum." You maj tell Dilke I think Janin's last
paper a capital example of political criticism. I own I
am curious to see T. Tegg's ^ Remarks on Copyright ; "
60 don*t forget it. Pray poke up Dilke : and should he
have any qualms about coming, scrunch them in the
shell I Tou would do me a world of good among you ;
and I have never had a palaver with him yet. And it
would not hurt him* Besides, he went to Margate some
summers back, and it " ain't to compare " with this for
selectness and sea. I suppose, and hope, he is tolerably
well. Unless you come soon, let me have a bulletin^
rather clearer than those about the King. Why can't the
Queen make me Consul here? I don't want to turn
anybody out, but can't there be nothing-to-do enough for
two? The King and Queen of Belgium are ccxning
here. I rather think the Dilkes, who are very fashion-
able, are hanging back till they hear the Court is here,
which makes Jane and me jealous. Mrs. Dilke need not
bring a bit of soap with her, as they use it here ; it is
quite a treat to see the clean faces and hands. I covld
kiss the children here about the streets — and the maids
too. I think the German men kiss each other so be-
cause, thanks to dirt^ there is no fair sex there. Flemish
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MEMORIALS OF THOMAS HOOD. 2*61
contains many words quite English to the eye. Over the
taverns here, you see ** Hier verkoopt Man DrankP As
we entered here, just under the words " man drank," sat
a fellow with a tremendous black eye, quite as if on pur-
pose to prove the text by illustration. But I am fore-
stalling our gossip, so good bye. Pray attend to the
business part of this letter, and do not neglect the pleas-
ure part either.
Pray congratulate Moxon for me on having an article
on his sonnets in the ^ Quarterly," where I never had a
line though I write odes !
89, EUK LoNGUB, OsTKND, SoJtwrday^ lOA 8^^ 1837.
Mr DEAR Wright,
I received yours this afternoon. Your account ot
your brother's family, and still more of the funeral, is
very gratifying, and contains all the comfort that one
could have under such an affliction : it must have soothed
your feelings very much to witness such an unusual
demonstration. A man is not all lost who leaves such a
memory behind him. I am heartily glad your reflections
have such a scene to rest upon, connected with him, to
set-off against some of the bitterness of the deprivation.
You may be at ease about me, my health has not de-
layed the Comic ; but I was so forward with the cuts, I
thought it worth while to wait to send them aU at once
instead of by detachments ; and accordingly I shall de-
spatch them to you next week. What a comfort to think
that they will not have to be six weeks on the way ! It
makes a vast difference. I except the frontispiece. Did
I understand you that Harvey would do one ? His pen-
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262 MEMORIALS OF THOMAS HOOD.
cil is worth having — that there maj be something artist-
like ; but if anj doubt of delaj say so at once, as I
should in that case prefer knocking one off myself.
With regard to the two setters, do it by all means ; the
motto, ^Together let us range the fields,^' is the best.
Have it drawn according to your own idea of it. Ybu
will find in the box a list of the mottoes, and the blocks
will be numbered as before. I am in good spirits about
it, as the '< Comic ** will, must, and shall be earlier than
common this year. I will send an announcement in time
for the Magazines. And now for the fishing plate. I
did not know there was such a hurry, so laid it aside ;
but I will take it up again. If I do it, it will come bj
one of next weeJ^a posts. I do not know of anything
more we want per parcel, unless you have a spare copy
of the " Tower Menagerie." Do not forget two or three
copies of " Eugene Aram " unbound, and one or two of
last " Comic" But you had better see the Dilkes, for
we have strong hopes of their coming out, and they
would perhaps bring what we want
Don't think of any beer ; we get good here now. The
poem in the << Athenaeum " about Ostend confirmed us in
our hopes. I suspect it is written by Sir Charles Mor-
gan (Lady Morgan's hub.), who has heard them talking
of it I wish they may come, as there is a chance now
of their enjoying themselves ; and I should like to talk
over German matters with him.
By the way, we have heard from Franck, who has
been off into Silesia with recruits. He sent the money
for the fishing-tackle; and our banker at Coblenz ad-
vised me that he received i1^ and sent it off on the 12th
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MEMORIALS OF THOMAS HOOD. 263
of last month; but it has never reached here yet. I
suspect that post-office at Coblenz has kept it, so that
they have even done me after leaving them. They
tricked me once before. * * * For my part, I say,
bang party ! There wants a true country party to look
singly to the good of England — retrench and economise,
reduce taxes, and make it possible to live as cheap at
bome as abroad. There would be patriotism, instead of
a mere struggle of Ins and Outs for place and pelf.
Common sense seems the great desideratum for gover-
nors, whether of kingdom or family. I suspect the prin-
ciples that ought to guide a private family would bear a
pretty close application to the great public one ; their
evils are much of the same nature — extravagance, lux-
ury, debt, &C. Thanks for your recipe : I may try it
some day, but I am shy of stimuli. I do not suffer either
under lowness of spirits ; now and then I feel jaded
rather, and indulge perhaps twice in a week in a single
glass of sherry : my appetite is better than it used to be.
I always eat breakfast now ; so if I can but conquer the
lung-touch, or whatever it is, I shall do. I think I have
got a fair set of cuts, and have some good stories for the
text of the " Comic ; " so that I am going on quite " as
well as might be expected."
Are the other German cuts done ? I have a hint to
give you about the cutting the " Comic," — not to cut
away my blacks too much, as they give effect. I am not
sure whether some of the German cuts do not want black,
but perhaps they print up more. I am so pleased with
your ideas of the fables, I think I shall do them next
after the German book, with nice little illustrations.
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264 MEMOBIALS OF THOMAS HOOD.
Jane is getting dozy, and eo am I, for it is twelve
o'clock ; so I most shut up. Tom is very well, and talks
of '* Mr. Light and Jim Co." Oysters are in here ; that
is to say, they send every one of them up to Brussels. I
think I *11 petition the Sang about it. My swallow seems
disposed to migrate on that account to the capitaL
Hang their shelfishness ! confound their grottoes ! I
own I did look forward to the natives, but one cannot
have everything in this world. As the 'prentices say,
** I 'm werry content with my wittles in this here place ! "
Our kindest remembrances to yourself and all yours. Grod
bless you.
My dear Wright,
Yours ever truly,
Thos. Hood.
There is a clergyman wanted (Church of England)
for this place, salary £130 per annum. There's a
chance for a poor curate 1 Tell Dilke of it It 's a
fortnight since I heard of it ; perhaps it may be gone.
89, Bub Lonoue, Obtsnd, ItA October, 1887.
Mr DEAB Wright,
According to promise to B y I sit down to write
to you to-day. j
On the subject of my health, I feel somewhat easier, as it
seems to give me better eventual hope. God knows ! •
It has been a great comfort to me, and gone somewhat
towards a cure, to feel myself within distance, and have
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MEMORIALS OF THOMAS HOOD. 265
such posting and sending facilities. Tde receipt of the
" Comic" cuts in three or four days actually enchanted
me. Altogether, in spite of illness, I have done more this
year. I feel I only want health to do a2?. I do not lose
time when I am well, and am become, I think, much
more of a man of business than many would gWe me
credit ifor.
Now for your main subject ; and I wish with you, we
could talk it over instead of writing. There are so many
points I should like to know something about. Such an
idea as a periodical it would have been impossible at Cob-
lenz to entertain for a moment Indeed, some months
back I should at once have rejected the notion from sheer
mistrust of my health. But I have now more hardihood
on that score, and shall turn it well over in my mind. I
have no doubt in the world that such a thing well done
would pay handsomely, but I do not yet see my way
dear. For instance, it is hardly possible for the first of
January, seeing that the ^ Comic '* and the German book
have to be done. Then there must be two numbers 'of
the new work, for I would not start without a reserve in
case of accidents, or the whole craft would be swamped
in the launching. Moreover, the idea is yet to seek, as
much, indeed all, would depend on the happiness of that
There is no end of uphill in working with a bad soil.
Now I am not damping ; but one must look at the proba^
bilities and possibilities, and count chances. As for com-
ing often before the public, — as I mean to do that any-
how, it goes for nothing. Nor am I afraid of its running
the " Comic " dry, fragmentary writing being so different, .
that what is available for one will not do for the other.
VOJU I. 12
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266 MEMORIALS OF THOMAS HOOD.
So I shall seriously keep my eye on it, in the hope of
some lucky thought for a title and plan. Such an inspi-
ration would decide me at once perhaps. In such a case
we must have a consultation somehow, as writing not
only is unsatisfactory, but takes up so much time.
Please God I be well the year next ensuing, the ^ Com-
ic " will take up but one-quarter of my time, and I must
have some work cut out for the rest. I fancy the fables
for one thing, but that would be light. I do not think I
fall off, and have no misgivings about over-writing my-
self ; one cannot do too much if it be well done; and I
never care to turn out anything that dd^s not please my-
self. I hear a demon whisper — I hope no lying one —
I can do better yet, or as good as ever, and more of it ;
so let 's look for the best. Nobody ever died the sooner
for hoping. I do not know that I can say more on the
subject ; it must be vague as yet Of course, January is
the most important ; but if it cannot be done, I have no
doubt of February, health being granted. But I would
a thousand times rather talk over aU these things instead
of writing of them. I am glad to get rid of the pen and
ink if I can, out of school-hours ; and there is a sort of
spirit of freshness about viva voce that on all joint affairs
is much more invigorating than scribbling.
We are getting into the Slough of Despond about the
Dilkes. No word from them since we wrote. It will be a
disappointment if they do not come, as our hopes have
been strong enough for certainties. And now, my dear
fellow, I must close, for I am so tired I shan't add ai^y-
thing but Good night.
Yours ever,
^. HopD.
MEMORIALS OF THOMAS HOOD. 267
2l8t November, 1837.
My dear Wright,
In a hasty note to B , I made an angry piece of
work, which yours received to-day does not serve to un-
pick. I complained that, for want of reporting progress,
I was at a loss to adjust any matter to the finis, and
behold the fruit.
Had I known that the Song from the Polish and Hints
to the Horticultural made some twenty-two pages instead
of sixteen (as I reckoned by guess), I should hardly have
written two unnecessary articles.
They were, in fact, the drop too much that overbrims
the cup. But for them I should have come in fresh ; but
through those, and, above all, the nervousness of not even
knowing if those two articles before had been received, I
half killed Jane and half killed myself (equal to one
whole murder) by sitting up all Saturday night, whereby
I was so dead beat that I could not even write the one
paragraph wanted for preface, whereby five days are
lost.
I suppose there was a gale at Dover, for what you had
on Saturday ought to have reached on Friday. I guessed
the " Hit or Miss " well enough, as I can count lines in a
poem, but prose beats me, having to write it in a small
hand unusual to me.
Of course my sending a short quantity would cause a
fatal delay, and I was hardly convinced even with the
two superfluities that I had done enough. It is a nervous
situation to be in, and ^ do not think you allow enough
for the very shaky state of health that aggravates it. I
am getting over it by degrees ; but at times it makes me
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268 MEMORIALS OF THOMAS HOOD.
pcwerleu quite. It is physical, and no effort of mind can
overcome it — I could not have written the end of pref-
ace to save mj life. Indeed, Swidaj I was alarmed, and
expected an ^ittack.
I am rather vexed the ^ Concert " will not be in, as I
like it I think such $hort things are good for the book.
Had it been in the palmy days of the ^ Comic,'* I should
have given an extra half sheet ; but now I can't afford
anything of the kind. However, I am not sorry to have
two articles to the fore. Should the re-issue be decided on,
the ** Concert " will do for the first number, with a prose
article I have partly executed. I think it is a very likely
spec, and the best that can be done under circumstances.
There is a tarnation powerful large dass, who can and
would give one shilling a month, and cannot put down
twelve shillings at once for a book. I know / can't, and
you would hesitate too.
I suppose you have heard of Dilke's opinion of the
monthly thing. I quite agree with him, that because it
has been done, is rather against than for the chance.
The novelty is the secret Non sequitur that something
like ^'s would do, because his has done.
Whether / could not make a hit with a monthly thing
is another question — but the more unlike to his the
thing is, the more chance. Now I do not despair of find-
ing some noveUy, which for the same reason as the re-issue
of the ^* Comic," it might be best to do monthly : but as
you must know, that all depends on a happy idea, grant-
ing a new and lucky thought, I should start on it directly,
and I shall keep it in mind, for I shall want something to
fill up my leisure with.
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MEMORIALS OF THOMAS HOOD. 269
We looked to have an acoonnt of the Guildhall Din-
ner — pray send the fullest one. I think I can make
use of it even yet We don't see the "Times'* now
Grattan's gone away.
However, one against the other, we don't miss them.
As I expect a longer letter from you to morrow, I shall
shorten this. On the other side I repeat the end of the
preface, for fear of the first edition not reaching you. It
was sent via Calais ; and please note, and tell me, when
it arrived.
You will understand "Potent, Grave, and Reverend
Signiors " to face the opening of preface, as if addressing
them.
Take care of your cough, lest you go to Coughy-pot,
as I said before ; but I did not say before that nobody is
so likely as a wood engraver to cut his stick.
Tuesday, 21tt November, 1887. (Kew style.)
Pray send off a very early copy to Devonshire House.
It is only fair, as I have abused you, that I should
thank you for seeing the " Comic " through the press at
all. I forgive all your errors beforehand, as I know mis-
takes will happen. Pray accept, then, my sincere and
earnest thanks for the more than usual trouble I fear I
have given you, for I could not guide you much in the
cut-placing. God bless you.
Yours, dear Wright,
Ever truly,
Thos. Hood.
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270 MEMORIALS OF THOMAS HOOD.
89, BuE LoNGUB, OsTEND, 2nd December^ 1837.
Mt deab Doctor,
I have several times been on the point of writing to
you ; but firstly came a resolution to try first the effect of
the place on me ; secondly, the Dilkes ; and, thirdly, the
" Comic" Indeed, an unfinished letter is beside me, for
(some time back) there seemed to be a change in the as-
pect of my case, to which I can now speak more de-
cidedly.
I have done the " Comic ** with an ease to myself I
cannot remember.
We are also very comfortable here. Fanny is quite
improved in health, getting flesh and colour, and Tom is
health itself. Mrs. Hood, too, fattens, and looks well. , I
have got through more this year than since I have been
abroad. I wrote three letters some months ago in the
" Athenaeum " on Copyright, which made some stir, and
I have written for a sporting annual of B 's. Also
in January I am going to bring out a cheap re-issue of
the " Comic " from the beginning, so that my head and
hands are full. I know it is rather against, my com-
plaint, this sedentary profession ; but in winter one must
stay in a good deal, and I take what relaxation I can ;
and, finally, '^necessitas non habet leges." I am, notr
withstanding, in good heart and spirits. But who would
think of such a creaking, croaking, blood-spitting wretch
being the " Comic ? " At this moment there is an artist
on the sea on his way to come and take a portrait of me
for B , which I believe is to be in the Exhibition ;
but he must flatter me, or they will take the whole thing
as a practical joke. Of course I look rather sentimen-
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MEMGfilALS OF THOMAS HOOD. 271
tally pale and thin than otherwise just at present I
must take a little wine outside to give me a colour. I
have a little very pure light French wine, without brandy^
which I take occasionally. I got it through B , but
do not drink a bottle a week of it — certainly not more.
One great proof of its being genuine is, that it is equally
good the second day as when first opened. French wine
is cheap here: it only cost me, bottles and all, under
fourteen pence per bottle.
We had an agreeable fillip with a visit from the Dilkes,
accompanied by his brothei^in-law and sister, who have a
relation at Bruges. It put us quite in heart and spirits,
for we are almost as badly off here as in Germany for
society. Not but that there are plenty of English — but
such English — broken English and bad English — scoun-
drelly English !
To be sure, I made an attempt at acquaintance, and it
fell through as follows. Coming from Germany with my
heart warm towards my countrymen, and finding there
was even a literary man in the same hotel, I introduced
myself to Mr. Gr . He came here afterwards with
his fiamily, and we were on civil terms, exchanging papers,
&c., till at last they even came to lodge underneath ; but
we never got any nearer, but farther off from that very
neighbourly situation — in fact, we never entered each
other's rooms, and they left without taking leave. There
was no possible guess-able cause for this ; but from what
I have seen, and since heard, I rejoice that it ^< was as it
was." So I determined to stick as I be. The intercourse
is so easy, we see z, friend occasionally ; for instance, Mr.
Wright has been across to see us. There is also a possi-
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272 MEMORIALS OF THOMAS HOOD.
bilitj of seeing an English book now and then. Nay,
there is a minor circulating library two doors off, but Jane
and I had such reading appetites, we got through the
whole stock in a month, and now must be content with a
work now and then — say once a month. But we go on
very smoothly, and as contentedly as we can be abroad.
Almost every Fleming speaks English more or less, and
our lodgings are really very conyenient, and oar landlord
and lady very pleasant people.
He is not an old man ; but was a solder, and marched
to Berlin ; and he is a carpenter hy trade, but paints,
glazes, and is a Jack of all trades. I have in my own
little room a chamber orgart, and I discovered the other
day that he had made it himself, and he <][uite amuses me
with his alterations, contrivances, and embellishments of
the premises. He dotes, too, on children ; and Tom is
very fond of him, and of his wife, too, but declares he
will not dance any more with Madame, because ^ she fell
down with him in the gutter, and kicked up her heels."
He gets a very funny boy, with a strange graphic
faculty, whether by a pencil or by his own attitudes and
gestures, of representing what he sees. I have seen boys
six years old, untaught, with not so much notion of draw-
ing, and he does it in a dashing, off-hand style that is
quite comical. His temper also is excellent, and he is
very affectionate, so that he is a great darling. Fanny
goes to a day-school, and is getting on in French, and
improving much. So that I only want health at present
to be very comfortable, and for the time being, I am better
where I am than in London. I have as much cut out for
me as I can do ; and am quiet here, and beyond tempta-
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MEMORIALS OF THOMAS HOOD, 273
tioD of society and late hours, Uving well, and cheaply to
boot. I seem in a fair way of surviving all the old an-
nuals — most of them are gone to pot. My sale is noth-
ing like the first year's, but for the last three or four it
has been steady, and not declined a copy, which is some-
thing. The re-issue promises welL
If I were but to put into a novel what passes here,
what an outrageous work it would seem.
This little Ostend is as full of party and manceuvring
as the great City itself — or more in proportion. I ver-
ily believe we have two or three duels per month.
There have been not a few about the minister at the
Church — both parties having a man to support — and
one gentleman actually fought three duels on the ques-
tion.
Some of us are very dashing, too ; but it is a very
hollow Ostendrtation. But I like the natives ; they are
dvil and obliging, and not malicious, like the Rhine-
landers. The English benefit them very much, and they
seem in return to try and suit them. Indeed the preva-
lence of speaking English amongst the very lower class
does them credit, and reflects disgrace on the '^ Intellect-
ual Germans " of the Rhine, who do not even speak
French, which here is very general also. I believe this
to be a very prosperous, happy, and well-governed
country.
Their kitchen-gardening, I forgot to say, is very
excellent.
The vegetable market is quite a sight; much of it
better, and all as good as English.
And^now I take warning to close. Jane is very anx-
12« B
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274 MEMORIALS OF THOMAS HOOD.
ious to explain to Mrs. Elliot that she has not beer
unwilling, but unable to write. I have written you but
a stupid desultory letter, but hope you will get the
^ Comic" about the same time, and that it may prov«
more amusing.
I am still rather languid, and bare had to write be-
sides on business : but having a spare hour or two, and
something decided to say on my health, would not defer
longer. I am unfeignedly glad to hear of your profes-
sional success, and also find from Dilke's report that I
have to congratulate you on your brother's connection
with Mr. C .
Pray give our kindest regards to Mrs. Elliot, and
Fanny's love and Tom's, which is always overflowing to
" Willie ; " and God bless you all as. you deserve.
I am, my dear Doctor,
Yours ever truly,
Thos. Hood.
extract from a letter to c. w. dilke, esq.
December i(k, 1837.
Jane and I were very much concerned to hear so bad
an account of Mrs. Dilke. "We hope none of it is attrib-
utable to her trip. I can now sympathise in degree,
leeches and all ; but it is perhaps as well to have it, if '
possible, set to rights at once. Pray beg that she will
send us word how she goes on. Jane laughed heartily
at her description of the journey to Calais. But it
served you right Here our mail, charged with letters,
with business public and private to forward, will stay in
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MEMORIALS OF THOMAS HOOD.
275
port if the weather is bad ; but you, only for pleasure,
must set out on a day you were not to be let out upon, by
-your own confession, as if the devil drove you, and for
what hurry ? Why to wait at Dover for the worst fog
ever known ! ! ! Werdict : " Sarve 'em right I "
Please to thank Mrs. Dilke for her kind message to
me ; and tell her not to be bothered with indexes, &c, to
the " Athenaeum." I cannot help wishing for her sake
that the little Doctor might be proscribed again, he
might do much more good to her than he will, I fear, to
Spain.
What three hundred-power donkey wrote that tragedy
in last ** Athenaeum ? **
rojifj'^ui
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276 KEMOBIALA OF THOMAS HOOD.
CHAPTER V,
1888.
At Ostend. — Ulneu. — ^ Hood's Own." — Mrs. Hood to Mrs. Dilke. ^
Portrait Painted by Mr. Lewis.— Letters to Mr. Wri^t, Lieut !>•
Franck, and Mr. Dilke.
I INSERT the following letter from my mother to
Mrs. Dilke as an example of the illness and harass
under which most of mj father's works were com-
pleted.
89, Bub Lokgttb, Ostend, F^. 24, 1838.
Mt dear Friend,
I write a few lines, for I am sure you have all heen
sadly vexed and uneasy at the last account I sent to
Wright, and the non-appearance of anjrthing for " Hood's
Own." On the Wednesday morning we sent for Dr. B.,
in hopes that he might suggest something serviceable.
All Tuesday Hood had been in such an exhausted state
he was obliged to go to bed ; but I was up all night,
ready to write at his dictation if he felt able ; but it was
so utter a prostration of strength, that he could scarcely
speak, much less use his head at all. The doctor said it
was extreme exhaustion, from the cold weather, want of
air and exercise, acted upon by great anxiety of mind
and nervousness. He ordered him port wine, or said he
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MEMORIALS OF THOMAS HOOD. 277
might safely drink a bottle of Bordeaux, but this would
not do; and the shorter the time became, the more ner
¥ous he was, and incapable of writing. I have never
seen Hood so before ; and his distress that the last post
was come without his beii^ able to send, was dreadfuL
When it was all over, and since, I have done all I can to
rouse him from yain regrets, and to-daj he is better.
I will not attempt to describe our harass and fatigue
from days of anxiety, and nights of wakefulness and
sitting-up.
« • • «
I have nothing to tell you new, aod am, with love
to all,
Yours affectionately,
Janb Hood.
•
After the post was gone — and the pressure therefore
removed — my father recovered, as will be seen in the
following letter.
89, Sub Lonoub, Ftb, 28, 1888.
My dear Wbight,
The books per Stewardess arrived in port Monday
night, but are not delivered yet, thanks to that folly the
Carnival, which plagues other houses besides the Customs.
In Coblenz it was kept up by the tradesmen. Here it is
the Saturnalia of the lowest class. They have been
roaring about the streets all the two last nights, our ser-
vant no doubt among them. She applied to be out two
whole nights running ( how your wife will lift up her
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278 HEMOBIALS OF THOMAS HOOD.
eyes ! ), and insistiDg it was the cnstom of the place, we
could not refuse. She masqueraded, too, as a broom-girL
The first night she got her mask torn, and to-daj, after
her second night, can hardly crawl with a swelled foot —
maybe from a fight, nobody knows what, but it has given
me quite a disgust Neither Grermans nor Flemings
ought to Camivalise — though the Grermans have one
advantage. I have heard very good singing in parts
from the common people about Coblenz, but never did I
hear such howling and croaking as here. They beat our
ballad-singers in London all to sticks.
Now I think of it, was there ever a Flemish singer of
any celebrity? I do not recollect one. How Booke
would enjoy " Amalie's " popularity in Ostend ! Shall I
send him over a Flemish Rainer Family ? It would be
. at least a ndvelty. Murphy seems done vp lately ; but
his very style, full of long mazy sentences, is quackish,
and seems purposely mystified. I have thought of two
cuts for him. Low Irish, with pots and sacks, looking
out for a "shower of Murphy's;'* and "the prophet a
little out,** i, e. caught in a shower without his umbrella.
I think he does n't understand the Pour Laws.
No local news, only another bloodless duel at Bruges.
I have hopes our frost has gone — I noted some wild
geese yesterday going back to the " nor'ard," and every
one of them is a Murphy. Give my kind regards to
everybody — I can't stop to enumerate, my head is so
full of " My Own." Take care of yourself, and when
you dine, don't leave off^ hungry — leave off^ dry, if you
like. I am, 'dear Wright,
Yours very truly,
Thomas Hood.
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MEMORIALS OF THOMAS HOOD. 279
In this spring Mr. Lewis came over to paint the pic
ture which forms the frontispiece to ** Hood's Own.**
The likeness was an excellent one.
OsTEia>, AprU 6, 1888.
Mr DEAR Wright,
I have just received " Hood's Own," and it looks like
a good number. The cuts come capitally, including
Scott's, which is a great acquisition. I am satisfied in
print with the EUand article and Grimaldi : I had partly
written some verses for the latter, but luckily did not
risk going on with them, or all might have hitched. It
was not my fault but my misfortune, for I had been fin-
ishing the Elland article all night in bed, and was copy-
ing out the Murphy when the last minute arrived for the
mail. I did afterwards hope you would guess the case,
and " take the very bold, daring, presumptuous liberty,"
perhaps, of getting the ghost off the stage as you could.
I have read of one, that would not go ofi^, being hustled
away by the performers. But bygones must be bygones ;
it might have been worse. There are better than two
sheets of a ^ Comic Annual." I was shocked to see no
more advertisements, and parodying a note of B ^'s,
I might write "I am not the man to say JDie'* — but,
by the Lord Harry, you must get me fresh advertise-
ments ; that will give me fresh vigour to work on the
letter-press and cuts ! By the way, as you say, the
notices get very frequent and favourable ; they ought
to be saved, as it might be advisable to print them some
day in an advertisement, as they did formerly with
the Athenaeum. A thing that gets frequent and favour-
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280 MEMOBIALS OF THOMAS HOOD.
able notices ongbt to znoye, if properlj pnsbed. Has
B done anytbtng abroad ? Brussels is particularlj
full, — Paris, — America. — Tbere are plenty of Eng-
lish to buy chectp books, and with so many cuts, it cannot
be pirated. I do not think the field has been even
yet properly beaten, and the one-shilling book is the
very thing where a twelve-shilling one would not do.
For the next Number, I propose " Hieroglyphical
Hints," — a paper on the dismissal of the yeomanry
with the old "Unfavourable Review," that you had
a hand in turning into a libel on Mrs. Somebody and
her cbse carriage. I think of writing something from
a black footman on the Emancipation question.
I get my papers very irregularly. For instance,
I have not yet had last Sunday's "Dispatch." This
is bad, and might be very unfortunate, as in the charge
against me of plagiarism. Pray tell B to blow up
that " d d boy that puts papers in the wrong box,"
and please then desire said boy to row his master
for sending wrong advertisements. I mention this for
B ^'s sake, as well as my own, because he must be
badly seconded in other cases as well as mine.
I am quite satisfied and pleased with your arrange-
ment of No. 3, and only regret, my good fellow, I have
to give you so much extra trouble. Do go out of town
and refresh ! Poor Rooke ! How Amalie's nose is put
out of joint I for of course you will now sing nothing
about Herts, Essex, Middlesex, and Kent, but "This
is my eldest daughter, Sir!" Take care of her now
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MEMORIALS OF THOMAS HOOD. 281
you have got her, at last. Some infants are squatted
on, like the '' spoiled child."* Mind, and whenever
Mrs. Wright looks fatigued and sedentary, take care
to hand her a chair. Now and then, a child is turned
up with a bedstead, but that could not happen, if the
maids slept in hammocks. Mind how you nurse her
yourself. Never toss her up unless you are quite certain
of catching her, a butter-fingered father might become
wretched for life in a moment Don't let her go up
in your study among the wild young men. What do
you think of her for our Tom? Don't give her a
precocious taste for lots o' daflfy ; or a box at the Opera.
You ought to know better than dream of operatising,
yourself such an invalid. I have never d— d or
t d out since at Ostend, and am going, to-morrow,
for the first time, but only to my doctor*!^ and if any-
thing happens, he will be at hand.
How do all the boys like the Gal? Poor things! I
never knew a dozen brothers, but one sister managed
to tyrannise over 'em all. Have you got a dictionary
name yet ? If I might propose, I should say christen
her " Mary WoUstonecraf^" as the supporter of FemaU
Wrights!
You must not be out of heart about your cough, — of
late years the spring has brought an almost certain influ-
enza in England as elsewhere. Easterly damp winds
are the cause. I have been teazingly coughing, and
Jane is wheezy, but what proves it to be influenzialy
is that Tom, Junior, is as hoarse as a crow. How
» One of the cuts in " Whims and Oddities," engraved by Wright.
— T. H,
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282 MEMOBIALS OF THOMAS HOOD.
should we weak ones hope then to escape ! For he is
a jonng horse for strength, and indeed, has adopted
from •'Nimrod's Sporting," the name of "Plenipoten-
tiary!"
There is a genteel blot, as the derk said, on mj scutch-
eon. That comes of foreign paper. Jane, at the other
side of the table, is grumbling at it too. Thanks for the
fishing-tackle, — all right, — and gone to Bromberg. I
wish the Prince Radziwills would go to the Coronation
and bring Franck with them. But, no ! Prussia, and
Russia, the two great enemies of England, are to col-
league together in a family party instead. There is a
great conspiracy there, or I *m mistaken, but it will fall
through, — say I Murphy'd it. For Mrs. Wright's bene-
fit, I must tell you now, the finis of our maid, Mary.
She insisted on two whole nights' leave at the GarhiTal,
as being customary, and came home each morning be-
tween seven and eight, so done up she could hardly stand.
At last, one evening there came by a jolly, roaring, set of
Camivalites that quite set her agog the moment she
heard the singing, if it might be called so ! She took
leave instanter, came home next morning, jaded to death,
and had occasion to take some soda / Of course we paid
her off on the spot, and have since learned she used to
persecute a waiter we called Cheeks (ask Lewis about
him), and go out on the sly, and drink brandy-and-water
with him. She was seen at the Carnival with petticoats
up to her knees, bare-legged and be-ribboned, in the
character of a broom-girl. "Won't Mrs. Wright bless her
stars there is no Carnival in England ? Greenwich fair
is next to it as performed here. And even the respec-
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MEMORIALS OP THOMAS HOOD. 283
table people join in it, the tradespeople and all, and the
children of the gentry go about in character, — some of
the banker's here did, for example. By the bye, did I
ever tell you of an incident the other day. There was
going to be a grand religious procession, and a fine gilded
car, or chariot containing a figure of the Virgin, which
was to be filled with angels, represented by children with
spangled wings, &c., and our landlord, who was engaged
in preparation for it, came to borrow Tom for an angel/
Just fancy Jane's great horror and indignation, — I could
hardly appease her by suggesting that it was a compli-
ment to his good looks.*
And now, I must shut up : I will send as much and as
often as I can. Give my comps. to B— , and tell him
to get a whole No. of advertisements. Seriously, we
must both stir our stumps, and I do my best. What
would he say now the Copyright Bill is coming on again,
to reprinting my letters as a pamphlet, as proposed be-
fore?
■ What would n't I do if I had health and bodily
strength? Pray for that when you pray for me, for
without it, what a clog to one's wheel I
And now, God bless you and yours, including Miss
Wright-^ only think of a mile of daughters! there is a
family of Furlongs coming to live here, whereof eight
are daughters — 8 furlongs =s 1 mile.
4f I confess I shed some " natural tears " at being denied a chance
of wings. When the procession did come off, I remember, the har-
mony of the car was not exemplary, for the angels were all " fallen "
to fisticuffs, Kke a lot of little Benicia Boys and girls, or Hee-nans and
She-nans. — T.H.
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284 MEMORIALS OF THOMAS HOOD.
Give mj kind remembrances to all friends of onrsy and
believe me.
Dear Wright,
YooTB ever troly,
Thos. Hood.
Two more commissions I What a bother I am ; but
wonld you let somebody inquire where to get it, and send
me two packets of vaccine matter bj the stewardess next
Saturday, and a German grammar for Fanny, with
plenty of exerdses for young beginners ; and pray thank
£. Smith kindly for the seeds he was ojw kind as to send.
Is anybody coming out a Maying ?
89, Bus LoiroinE, Ms 8, 1888.
My deab Wright,
I was disappointed at not receiving the " Hood's Own**
per Liverpool^ not from eagerness to see the dear origi-
nal's reflection, but I was anxious to see how the Intro-
duction read. I have seen it partly in to-day's ** Athe-
naeum," and it reads decently well. I shall want a*
" Progress of Cant," and also some old " London Maga-
zines" from J. H. R. I am struggling to get early this
month with my matter so as to give you as lit|^ trouble
as possible. The weather has been up to to-day very
* This was a large outline etching, caricaturing all the humbugs of
the day. Some of the figures are worthy of Hogarth — and the hits
are felicitous to a degree - for instance, the stout parson, with his flag
"No fat livings," in close proximity with one inscribed « The Cause
of Greece," — or the banner of the pious barber, "No Person is to be
Shaved during Divme Service," wherein an unlucky rent robs
" shaved " of its " h." — T. H.
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MEIIORIALS OF THOMAS HOOD. 285
80-80. I have had only one sail, and it did me such man-
ifest good, that I quite long to get to sea again, but either
there is no wind, or rain with it. You will be glad to
hear I am getting better slowly. I wish, my dear fellow,
you may be able to give as good an account of yoursel£
Pray send me a full and particular bulletin. And, in the
meantime, please to present my best thanks to Mrs.
Wright for the cane, and tell her it is quite a support I
seem to walk miles with it.
Did I give you the history of a steamer built at
Bruges ? They quite forgot how she was to get down
the canal, and they will have to take down the brick-
work of the locks at a great expense — some 1500 francs
instead of 25 ; all along of her width of paddle-boxes.
Well, the other day, 10,000 people assembled to see her
launched ; troops, band, municipals, everybody in their
best; and above all Mr. T , the owner, in blue
jacket, white trousers, and straw hat. So he knocked
away the props and then ran as for his life, for she ought
to have followed ; but, instead of that, she stuck to the
stocks as if she had the hydrophobia. Then they got
200 men |o run from side to side, and fired cannons from
her stern, and hauled by hawsers, but ^ there she sot,"
and the people ^sot," till nine at night, and then gave it
up. She has since been launched somehow, but in a quiet
way quite ; she looked at first very Uke an investment in
the stocks, and I should fear her propensity may lead her
next to stick on a hank. The only comfort I could give,
was, that she promised to be very fasL To heighten the
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286 MEMORIALS OF THOMAS HOOD.
fun, the wine was chucked at her by a young lady who
thought she was going; I know not what wine, but it
ought to have been still champagne.
And now, God bless you and yours, take care of your-
self, and mind and send us an account of how you feel,
and what your doctor says of you. The vicissitudes of
such weather try us feeble ones. I am anxious to know
whether you think your new doctor's course has pro-
duced any marked effect Don't B mean to come,
or don't he not ? If he and Mr. S would make the
trip together, it might be pleasanter, and we have ac-
commodation for two, and especially a tall one for B ^
for whom an accommodation bed ought to be like an
accommodation bill — the longer it runs, the better.
When you see Rooke, pray thank him handsomely in
my name for " Amalie " — though I do not quite find the
airs suit my compass. What Jane has said about F
please to make me a partner in — and tell E. Smith
that our Sandy soil has Scotched the flowers, so that he
would n't know them for his seedlings. But Jane is very
proud of them, as they are very good for Ostend. Our
festival of Kermesse has begun, and will continue for a
fortnight, and then we are to have the King and Queen
next month, when your royal gaieties are over and gone.
What does Dymock think of being cut out of the pa-
geant ? I suppose he will pretend that he ^' backed out."
I shall try if I cannot have a verse or two about the Cor-
onation. I want to know if any distinction was shown
to Art, Science, or Literature on the occasion. Was
the P. R. A. there ? Had the live Poets admissions to
the Comer ? What became of the V. R. at the Prus-
Oigiti
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MEMOBIALS OF THOMAS HOOD. 287
sian ambassador's? He seemed only to compliment
Frederick William with initials. How wonderfully well
the mob behaved ; but then, to be sure, they are not
Tories ! I am glad they cheered Soult.
And now I must shut up, and believe me, dear Wright,
Yours ever very sincerely,
Thos. Hood.
89, Bub Lohguie, 1 Ostend, July 8, 1888
I SAT Tim,
If you are dead, write and say so ; and if not, pray
let me hear from you. Perhaps you were killed at the
taking of Spandau — or are you married — or what
other mortality has happened to you ? or have you had
the worst of a duel — or taken a fancy to the Russians
and gone to St. Petersburg ? Perhaps some very great
" Wels " has pulled you in — or have you been to
Antonin ?
The chief purport of this letter is to inquire about
you, so you must not look for a long one — but we are
getting uneasy, or rather too uneasy to bear any longer
your silence — fearing that in the unsettled state of Prus-
sian and Belgian relations, the intercourse may have
become precarious.
I sent you a box containing your fishing-tackle, a
" Comic,*' some numbers of " Hood's Own," and the
sporting plates, which I calculated ought to reach Brom-
berg about the 20th of April. It was directed to Lieut,
von Franck, 19th Infanterie Regiment, Bromberg en
Prusse, with the mai*k
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288 HEMOBIALS OF THOMAS HOOD.
I paid the carriage to Cologne, and sent a proper dec-
laration of the contents. Jane, at the same time, wrote
per post to announce it, with an especial request for an
acknowledgment of its arrival ; so that we begin to fear
that neither the box nor the epistle has reached its des-
tination : pray write and let us know ; because, in case
THE eate has stuck at Cologne, I will write from here,
and you send inquiries for it from there, %. «., Bromberg.
We are going on as usuaL I am getting better, but
slowly; my monthly work, and the very bad season,
having been against me. I shall be better when I get to
sea, but till last week I have been unable to boat it ; we
have had fires within the last ten days. Springs are, I
suspect, going out of fashion with black stocks. Jane
and the ^ kin ' were on board with me, and I wish you
could have seen the faces and heard the uproar they
made. It. was an ugly, long, narrow craffc enough, for a
short sea; three lubberly Flemings for a crew, and
myself at the helm. Jane groaned and grimaced, and
ejaculated, and scolded me, till she frightened the two
children, who piped in chorus. Tom, like a parish clerk,
repeating after his mother, with the whine of a charity
boy in the litany, " Oh, Lord ! " &c «&c., and then very
fiercely, " Take me home — set me ashore directly I
Oh, I '11 never come out with you again I " and so forth.
So we have parted with mutual consent, so far as sailing
is concerned, which is very hard, as I cannot take out
any other ladies without Jane, the place being rather apt
to talk scandal, — and one of our female friends here is
very fond of boating. For my own part, I have been
lucky enough to get a capital little boat, built under the
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MEMORIALS OF THOMAS HOOD. 289
care of an old English shipmaster, and his property —
all snug, safe, and handy '— bo that I mean to enjoy
myself as a marine.
In the meantime, Jane has made a voyage to England
and back, which I shall let her relate. She had fair
weather out and home, and prefers a dead calm to a liv-
ing storm. I suppose I must take to sea-fishing, as there
is some fresh-water fishing, but the canals are too much
of thoroughfares to my taste, who enjoy the contemplative
man's recreation — only with one companion. I some-
times wish for the Lahn.
It was odd enough — but on our return from Bruges
fair in the barge, an English family came with us on
their way from Coblenz, where they settled in the Schloss
Strasse just before we left. He gave the same account
of the people as I do, and was a fishernum — but caught
nothing but dace.
England is all alive now with the Coronation. Why
did you not egg on one of the Prince Radziwills to visit
Her Majesty vid Belgium, with yourself in his sweet.
I read the other day that some of the 30th were coming
to Luxemburg. When our railroad shall be finished, it
will only be two days' post from Cologne to this — and I
have just ti^en my lodgings for another year — Verhum
$ap.
We expect several guests this summer from Eng-
land — one of Jane's sisters and a daughter amongst
the rest — and we know a few people here — but the
majority are not worth knowing, being of the scamp
genus.
We still have an unduxunished liking to the place,
VOL. I. 18 B
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290 MEMORIALS OF THOMAS HOOD.
which suits our quiet "domestic habits," though it is
notorious as dull, amongst the notoriously gay.
We know enough to be able to get up a rubber when
we feel inclined, besides " taking our three." I get ex
cellent Bordeaux here, and bought a cask with mj Dec-
tor, onlj thirteen or fourteen pence English per flask,
whereof on the last 23rd May, I did quaff one whole
bottle out of a certain* Bohemian Groblet to my own
health, not forgetting the donor of the said vessel, which
has a place of honour in my sanctum.
What a bore it is, Johnny, that you are not in the Bel-
gian service ; most of its garrisons are near, it would be
but a holiday trip to come and see you. Were I, as I
oDce was, strong enough for travel, I should perhaps beat
you up even at Bromberg via Hamburg. But I shall
never be strong again — Jane got the verdict of our
friend Dr. Elliot, that the danger of the case was gone, but
that as I had never been particularly strong and sturdy,
I must not now expect to be more than a young old
gentleman. But I will be a boy as long as I can in mind
and spirits, only the troublesome bile is apt to upset my
temper now and then. We are all a little rabid at pres-
ent, for after having fires far into June, the weather has
just set in broiling hot, and the children do not know
what to make of it.
* This is a large Bohemian glass goblet, of white glass, clear as
crystal and without a flaw, decorated with amethyst medallions,
and bnnches of flowers. The shape is graceful, and it was highly
prized by my father as the gift of Franck, who brought it from
Bohemia. If I remember rightly he purchased it of the gipsies,
who engraved the flowers. — T. H.
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MEMORIALS OP THOMAS HOOD. 291
The faces of Tom and Fanny are like two full-blown
peonies, or two cubs of the brood of the Red Lion. Tom
is a very funny fellow. The people of the house try to
talk to him, and as they speak very bad English, he
seems to think that they cannot understand very good
ditto, and accordingly mimics them to the life. You
would think he was a foreigner himself when he is talk-
ing to them. Fanny is learning German and French,
and makes up by her quickness for some idleness.
She is very much improved, and gets stouter, as she
was too thin, whilst Tom gets thinner, as he was too fat ;
as for Jane, all my London friends said she had never
looked better, so that I doubt the policy of walking out
with her, for it makes me look worse than I am.
Tou will judge when I send you a proof of my por-
trait, which is to be in the next number of " Hood's
Own," on the 1st July. It is said to be very like.
I have no news to give you ; but there are plenty of
rumours. Of coui'se you were at the grand review at
Berlin. Tell me all the particulars you can, and of your
fishing, in which I take great interest, though now but a
sleeping partner. I quote at the end of this a few words
about Salmon. I expect a friend out here on a visit,
who is very fond of the rod. By the bye, I must not
forget to tell you, that the other day, which proves there
must be some sort of fishing, my Doctor was called out
of his bed in the morning by an Englishman, who mum-
bled very much, and on going to the door, found him
with a hook, and not a little one, through his own lip.
He had been tying it on by help of his teeth, and by a
slip of the line had caught himself, genus fiat fish. Being
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292
MEHOBIALS OF THOMAS HOOD.
a Belgian hook, like the German, with the shoulder at
one end and a barb at the other, it would not pull through ;
but had to be cat out Luckj he had not gorged it. My
leaf is full,* so God bless 70a sajs,
Yours, Tim,
Ev«r very trulj,
JOHNNT.
Eand regards to Wildegans*
Tom, Junior, sends his love to you and Carlovicz and
Wildegans. He said to his mother this morning, '* I love
you a great way ; " so he can love as far as Bromberg.
It has just occurred to me, that there may be a reason
for your silence I never thought of before. You are
promoted and in the first pomp of your captainship, and
!jbUt9in^
"Ua^^
it*^ <• *
too proud to own to us privates. If that is not the reason,
I can think of no other with all my powers of imagina-
tion. Perhaps it is your D — Douane that always both-
ered my own packages. I hate all Customs, and not
* The other leaf was left for my mother to write on. — T. H.
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MEMOBIALS OF THOMAS HOOD. 293
least the Prussian. I wish all the officers would confis-
cate each other.' Sometimes this hot weather, I should
like a glass of Rudesheimer, one of the few things I care
for that is Bhenish — Bow, wow, wow I
The next is to Mr Franck, who had been laid up at
Posen, and had had his head shaved.
OSTBBB, Augua 20thj 1887.
Mr DEAB Franck,
I have been laid up again, but this you will saj is no
news, it happens so often. A sort of bastard gout, with-
out the consolation of being the regular aristocratic mal-
ady, as if I were an aristocrat. Bj the way, I almost •
rejoice pcliticdUy in thp results of your own illness, you
were always an abominable Tory, but now must needs be
a moderate wig. But as Gray says :
" To each their evils — all are men
Condemn'd alike to groan.**
You (to speak as a fisherman) complain of your hair
line, and I of my gut, which I fear has some very weak
lengths in it. I hardly go ten days without some dis-
agreeable indigestion or other, which is the more annoy-
ing as here the victuals are really good. Moreover, I am,
in a moderate way, a diner-out ; for instance, the day be-
fore yesterday, at the Count de Melfort's, whom I had
known previously by his book, the only one that ever co-
incided with my Views of the Rhine,
In fact, in spite of keeping quiet, I am a little sought
after here, now I am found out A firiend of Byron's
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294 HEMOBULS OF THOMAS HOOD.
wanted to know me the other day, but I was laid up in
bed ; and now Long Wellesley (Duke of Wellington's
nephew), mj old landlord is here, and asking after me.
Luekilj, there are so many lame men here, I am not sin-
gular in my hobble, for though I have got rid of the
rheumatism these ten days, the doctor gave me a lotion
with cantharides therein, that has left me a leg&cj of blis-
ters. Then again what an abominable swindling season !
The winter embezzled the spring, and the summer has
absconded with the autumn.
A fig for such seasoning, when the summer has no
Cayenne, and in July even you wish for your ices, a little
mulled. I have only managed to keep up my circulation
by dint of sherry, porter, and gin and water ; and nine
times out of ten, had it come to a shaking, I should have
given but a cold right hand. That is one of my symp-
toms. In the meantime the Belgians are bathing daily,
but I observe they huddle together, men and women, for
the sake of warmth, at some expense to what we con-
sider decency. As for Jane she is very willing to believe
that winter is absolutely setting in, as an excuse for wear-
ing her sables.* They are very handsome, but no thanks
to you on my part, considering a hint that I have had,
that it is a dress only fit for a carriage ! I don't mean,
however, to go 90 Jur as to set up a wheelbarrow. Many
thanks, however, for your views of our old piscatory
haunts, which cannot lead one into any extravagance, for
here there is no fishing. It is another Posen in that re-
* Mr. Franck had sent my mother a very handsome set of sables.
After her return to England, she was so unfortunate as to lose all that
were not atofon, within £a incredibly short space of time. — T. H.
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MEMORIALS OF THOMAS HOOD. 295
spect — but mind, do not go and marry for want of better
amusement Talking of aquatics, a pretty discussion
you have got me into by your story of the beavers on the
Elbe. I have repeated it, and been thought a dupe for
my pains — indeed, I began to believe you had hoaxed
me, but only this afternoon I have found a Confirmation
of the Baptism in a book of Natural History.
In the Berlin Transactions of the Natural History So-
ciety, 1829, is an account of a family of beavers, settled
for upwards of a century on a little river called the Nuthe,
half a league above its confluence with the Elbe, in a se-
questered part of the district of Magdeburg. There !
To be candid, I always thought you mistook for beavers
the Herren Hutters, or gentlemen who always wear their
castors. But why talk of keeping on one's hat to a man,
who can hardly keep on his own hair? Methinks in-
stead of sables you ought to have bought of the Russian
merchant a live bear, to eat up the little boys that will
run after you, as they did after Elisha, crying " Go up,
thou baldhead ! " Of course the Eadziwills, who made
you so retrench your moustaches, will be quite content
with you now ; but I hope you wiU not slack in your cor-
respondence in consequence, although I must expect to
have more bcdderdash out of your own head. As for
Wildegans, he will forget that you ever had any hair,
and will take you for some very old fHend of his father's,
or perhaps for his grandfather.
For my own part, as promotion goes by seniority in
your service, I do hope you may have an opportunity of
taking off your hat to the king, who cannot make any-
thing less than a major of such a veteran. In the mean-
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296 MEMORIALS OF THOMAS HOOD.
time you cannot be better off than in the 19th, which has
ao many Poles to keep yours in countenance ; you see
how little sympathy I profess, but having fancied you
killed, wounded, or missing, in some riotous outbreak, I
can very well bear the loss of your locks^ as you are upon
the key vive I
Moreover sickness is selfish, and invalids never feel
acutely for each other.
The only feeling I have on hearing of another patient
in the town, is a wish, that, whilst about it, he would take
all my physic. When I can make up a parcel worth
sending you, you shall have a copy of my face, to hang
on the gallows for a deserter, if you like. Tim, says he,
either I shall get over this liver complaint, and be a
portly body, or the liver complaint will get over me, and
I shall die like a Strasbourg goose. How lucky I should
have a decent interval of health for that march to Ber-
lin I I often recall it, Tim, trumpet-call and all, and wish
you were one of our military.
I do not know how the Belgian question goes on, but
would not advise you to attack us, for in case of a re^
verse, your Rhinelanders are not the firmest of friends to
fall back upon. Your Posen Bishop is a donkey for his
pains ; a Needle, if it enters a piece of work, ought to go
through with it For my part I like fair play. I would
have everybody married, and blessed, how they please.
Christian or Jew. Privately I really believe marriages
between Jews and Catholics would make capital half-and-
half, one party believing too much, and the other too
little,
I wear no mitre, but if you should wed a Polish Jew-
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MEMOEIALS OP THOMAS HOOD. 297
ess, jou shall be welcome to mj benediction. But there
has been a precious fuss about nothing. Tou say the
Bromberg ladies, old and young, were very kind during
your illness, and sent you nourishing food. Tou have
omitted to mention whether they considerately masticated
it beforehand. Yes? Of course you will have some
fishing at Antonin. Pray present my best respects to
the princes. Were I as young as I am old in health, I
would come and beat up your quarters at Posen, but my
travelling is over, in spite of steam and railroads ; so, if
we are to meet again in this world, I am the mountain,
and you, Mahomet, must come to it
My domestic habits are very domestic indeed; like
Charity I begin at home, and end there ; so Faith and
Hope must call upon me, if they wish to meet And
really Faith and Hope are such ramblers, it will be quite
in their line, so with all faith in your friendship, and a
hope we may some day encounter in war or in peace,
I remain, my dear Johnny,
Your true friend,
Tim.
Tom, Junior, sends his love and says, "if you will
come he will give you a kiss, and teach you to draw!*
Vanity is bom with us, and pride dies with us ; put that
into German by way of metaphysics. Give my love,
when you see him, to the King of Hanover, and God
grant to those he reigns over a good umbrella. I have
many messages in a different spirit, which you will be
able to imagine, for my old comrades, for instance, Carlo-
vicz. You do not mention " Granserich," has hQ forgotten
13*
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298 MEMOKIALS OF THOMAS HOOD.
to exist; say something civil — as becomes a civilian —
to the rest of your militaires on my behalf; you will see
the colonel I guess, or are you the colonel yourself? It
would be fatal now to your hair to have many go over
your head. Have yon ever tried currant jelly to it?
Thank Heaven you require no passport, or how, as Heil-
man said, would you get ** frizz4 ? *' Shall we send back
that hair lock you gave to Mrs. Dilke ? No news except
local, and you would take no interest in our abundant
scandal, as you do not know the parties. To me it is
very amusing, there is so much absurdity along with the
immoralities ; it is like an acted novel, only very extrav-
agant. You know that this is one of the places of refuge
for English scamps, of both sexes. But the parson and
I do not encourage such doings, we are almost too good
for them. .
Satubdat, 6 F. M., Oct IQth, 1888.
My dear Wright,
Take care and do not get drunk with your Prussic
acid.
I wish you better health in a glass of sherry. I am
concerned to hear you still suffer with your throat, but
have hopes of your medical advice, as Elliot concurs.
His offer is very kind, and pray avail yourself of it at
need, as I have reason to know he is sincere in his kindly
professions. I think also he has very great skill. For
myself you will be glad to hear that I am at last taking a
change I think for the better : partly from better weather,
but greatly I think from the occasional use of a warm sea-
bath, and partly, B says he thinks, I am wearing out
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MEMOBIALS OF THOMAS HOOD. 2^
ii\e disease. Time I did, says you, or it would have worn
me out
Something perhaps is due to a slight change of system,
but I almost flatter myself, there is a change for the
better. I have done without my doctor for an unusually
long time, partly from being better, and partly from know-
ing how to manage myself; I have left off Cayenne and
Devils, and such stimulants recommended by B . 1
begin to think as they are supposed to be bad for liver
complaints in India, they ought not to cure them in
England, and referred to Elliot, who said " No," very
decidedly.
But I have no great faith in the principles of my doc-
tor here, though some in his skill, but without the first,
the last goes for little. He shook my opinion lately when
I had rheumatism, by giving me cantbarides in lotion,
which favoured me with a sore foot for weeks. It looked
like making a job. I now eat well and have much less
than before of those depressions, though hurried and well
worked. The baths I do think very highly of. Should
you see Elliot, ask him ; you might run over here for a
fortnight, they are almost next door and cost little. TTiink
of this seriously. I have not felt so well from the
1st January as during the hist ten days: accordingly I
am getting on, and, at the present writing, have a sheet
of cuts, besides those sent, and some tail-pieces drawn. I
expect next packet (on Tuesday), to send a good lot;
they promise to be a good s^, and I find the pencilling
come easier, which is lucky, as they are to your mind too.
So I am throwing up my hat, with hope of making a good
fight.
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300 MEMORIALS OF THOMAS HOOD.
I doubt whether the first article will be on the Coro-
nation, which is staltsh, but seem to incline to '' Hints for
a Christmas Pantomime, personal, political, (not partj),
and satiricaL''
The baths I have in the house before going to bed, —
no fear of cold. I strongly recommended them for Mrs.
Dilke, and suspect they have gone to Brighton with that
view ; we have been very anxious about her.
I hope to send with this " the Reminiscences," but if
not they will be certain to come with the cuts on Wednes-
day; I am so full swing on the drawings, I hardly
like to leave off to write. You say you are short of
prose, but there is all " Doppledick." We heard to-day
from Franck : he is well, and back, to his great joy, at
Bromberg and his fishing ; he has at last caught a sal-
mon of eleven pounds. He tells me a sporting anecdote
of a gentleman he knows, that will amuse you as it did
me. He was shooting bustards, of which there are
plenty near Berlin. They are shy to excess, but do not
mind country people at work, &c. ; so seeing a boy driv-
ing a harrow, he went along with him, instructing him
how to manoeuvre to get nearer. At last, wishing to
cross to the other side of the harrow, he was stepping in-
side of the traces, as the shortest cut, when at that very
instant the horses took fright, and he was obliged to run,
with the gun in one hand, taking double care between
the horse's heels, and the harrow, which occasionally
urged him on with short jobs from the spikes. It might
have been serious, but just as he was getting tired out,
the horses stopped at the hedge ; the gentleman, besides
the spurring, having his breeches almost torn off by the
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MEMOBIALS OF THOMAS HOOD. 301
harrow. Franck wants me to draw it, and tralj a
flogging at Harrow School, would hardly eqaal it for
effect
Wellesley went back to Brussels to-day; I declined
dining with him, but he sent me venison twice, some
Wanstead rabbits, birds, and a hare. We have been up
the railway to Bruges in forty-six minutes, Brussels in
six hours for nine francs I Tell B to think of this.
Count Edouard de Melfort wrote a book " Impressions of
England ; " he is a cousin of the Stanhopes : the family
are to stay here the winter, and as we like him and her,
and they seem to like us, they will be an acquisition for
the winter. They sometimes drop upon us, as he calls
it, and we drop upon them. As to local news, lots of
scandal, as usual ; 1 could fill a whole Satirist with our
own town-made. I think the idea of " The Heads " a
good one, but do not like the specimen either as to the
head, or the style of the writing ; and now God bless
you. I must to work again, and leave Jane to fill up
the rest Kindest regards to Mrs. W from
Your ever, dear Wright,
Very sincerely,
Thomas Hood.
N. B. My hand aches with drawing, I am going to
bed for a change.
Pray put in again the advertisement of Harrison's
Hotel in " Hood 's Own," and keep it standing to the end ;
kind regards to everybody all round my hat. We had
a complete wreck, close to the mouth of the harbour,
such '< a distribution of effects," no lives lost, but such a
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802 MEMOBIALS OF THOMAS HOOD.
litter, as Jane woald call it The cook's skimmer was
asLvedy at all eyents, for I saw it
There was a soldier shot to death at Franck's last
review — putting stones in the gnns 1 The confusion on
our rail is great, one may easily go on the wrong line ;
two of our party at Bruges were actually in the wrong
coaches, but were got out in time ; I shall make some fun
of this. We have had the Nagelmacher family from
Liege, and Miss Moore, lodging for a fortnight on the
floor below, but they are gone again. How goes on the
Amaranth, or off rather? And have you seen the
Bayaderes? Our new opposition steamer is come —
"The Bruges" — a very fine boat But how will the
fish like the railroad, seeing they now have such facilities
for going by land, there will be many more fish out of
water ; who can calculate the results in future, of railroads
to bird, beast and fish — besides man? We have
begun fires in my little room, quite snug* Tom is going
into trousers for the winter, and is very proud of it He
complained the other day that ^'Maiy washed all the
Jhvour off his face."
Well, I must shut up ; I have done a good day's work,
and leave off^ not very fagged, but rather cocky, as the
tone of this will show. Give me but health and I will
fetch up with a wet sail, ( but not wetted with water).
Who knows but some day Jane will have a fortune
of her own, at least a mangle. Has your mother
sold her mangle ? I admire Harvey's " Arabians "
extremely.
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MEMORIALS OF THOMAS HOOD. 303
November tlnd, 1888.
My dear Weight,
I have no immediate occasion for writing, but hoping
that my chance letters may be as agreeable to jou as
yours are to myself, I sit down pardy for your sake and
partly for mine own, as it is pleasant to exchange the
pencil for the pen. I have just sent you off nine more
principal cuts : in my list I hfave put " Off by Mutual
Consent " and " All Round my Hat" as principals, and
so you can make them, should I not send you others in
lieu by the packet that leaves here on Saturday, when 1
hope to send you all the drawings, tail-pieces and all ;
exclusive of frontispiece, which I should be really glad
if Harvey would do for me, however slightly, I sending
an idea for it, as I am very short of time. The effect of
"Hood's Own" has been to somewhat hinder the
" Comic," by preventing that quiet ybrcthinking which
provided me with subjects, but I have done wonders on
the whole.
The " Comic " is always a lay miracle, and done under
very peculiar circumstances ; perhaps being used to it is
something, though the having done it for so many years,
and having fired 700 or ^00 shots, makes the birds more
rare, t. e, cuts and subjects. But somehow it always is
done, and this time apparently by a special Providence,
God knows what I did, for the " Hood's Own " was the
utmost I could do. Strange as it may appear, although
little as it is, it amounts probably on calculation to half a
" Comic," as to MS. But I literally could do no more,
. nowevei: willing ; the more 's the pity for my own sake,
for it was a very promising spec For the rest I feel
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804 MEMORIALS OP THOMAS HOOD.
precisely as 70U do about " My Literary Reminiscences,"
but the fact is all I have done, I hoped to do in one or
two numbers. For instance, the very last time I was
thus thrown out
As usual, I had begun at the end, and then written
the beginning ; all that I had to do was the middle, and
breaking down in that, you had but a third of what I
had intended. It was like a fatality. Moreover I never
wrote anything with more difficulty from a shrinking
nervousness about egotism.
But although declining to give a life, I thought it not
out of character to give the circumstances that prepared,
educated, and made me a literary man — which might
date from my ill-health in Scotland, &c. Should I be as
well as I am now, I hope to fetch up all arrears in Nos.
11 and 12: and it may be advisable to give a supple-
men^ as, after December, I shall be free of the " Comic,"
and it may help the volume of " Hood's Own," with lit-
erary letters from Lamb, &c. &c. &c. This is my pres-
ent plan, and perhaps the 13th No. would partly help to
sell up the whole. But advise on this with B , &c.
In the meantime you wiU have a good batch for next
No. : allowing me as long as you can, perhaps the whole
first sheet, and more afterwards. This I know to be
mine own interest — I would not have B lose on
any account^ much less on mine. With letters, &c., I
could fill a good deal when I am once clear of the
" Comic " — about which I am in capital spirits. I think
I have a good average set of cuts, and some good subjects
for text But above all, as the best of my prospects,
and for which I thank God, as some good old writer
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MEMOBIALS OF THOMAS HOOD. 305
said, " on the knees of mj heart,'* is the, to me, very un-
expected improvement in my health, which I truly felt
to be all I want towards my temporal prosperity. The
change has been singularly sudden for a chronic disease.
I wish I could hear as good news of Mrs. Dilke as this,
which I beg of you to convey to them. Pray say that
as far as I can judge, a radical change for the better has
taken place. I have some thoughts, as a finisher and
refresher after the " Comic " (both for body and mind),
of dropping in on them for three or four days — in which
case you will not have further advice. I want to talk
over the German book with him, which I shall most
assuredly soon get through, health permitting, in the
course of February or March.
I do most seriously, comically, earnestly, and jocosely
tell you that " Richard is himself again," and therefore
you need not, Hibernically, have any fears on Tom's
account : which last word reminds me of your kindness
in going through all mine — for which I thank you as
earnestly, &s I know you have been engaged on the work.
You must occupy yourself much on my behalf, and I can
make you no return but to say that I feel it, which I do,
very sincerely, or I should not take so much to heart as
I do, the good effects of Prussic acid on your complaint^
and wish the three drops which would kill any one else,
could render you immortal, at least as long as you liked
to be alive. But it do«s seem, or sound an odd remedy,
like being revived by the " New Drop."
I am writing a strange scrawl, but my hand is cramped
by drawing. Otherwise, " I am well, considering" as the
man said, when he was asked all of a sudden. Some-
T
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306 MEMORIALS OF THOMAS HOOD.
times I feel quite ashamed of these buUetins about m j
carcase, till I recollect that it is too far off to be of inter-
est merely as a subject. Seriously I believe I am better,
and if I enforce it somewhat ostentatiously on my fiiends,
it is because I have achieyed a victory unhoped for by
myself! '
To allude to the battle of Waterloo, I should have been
glad to make it a drawn game, but I think I shall escape
the Strasbourg pie, after all.
The above was written sometime back, and given up
from sleepiness. I have now yours of the 19th. Glad
you like the cuts — I think they are a good set. To-day,
or to-night rather, have sent off three more large, which
if you take in " Off by Mutual Consent," will make up
the six sheets. Also three more tail-pieces, in all forty-
eight and eleven. A dozen more tail-pieces will do. I
wish Harvey would do the frontispiece, I am so very
short of time. Methinks the lines
^ Mirth, that wrinkled care derides,
And Laughter holding both his sides,"
would supply a subject. The " Reminiscences " I must
send you on Saturday by the ^^Menai;** our post comes
and goes so awkwardly.
Thank God I keep pretty well, — a day or two back
rather illish, but took a warm bath and am better, won-
derfully, considering my " confinement." After the Cus-
tom-house stoppage, no fear for some time of any hitch.
It only cost three shillings, as the woman says.
I hope Mr. C. will not forget the books I wrote for, by
next Saturday's boat. Pray send me proofs, rough or
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MEMORIALS OF THOMAS HOOD. 307
anyhow, of all the cuts you can, as they help me in writ-
ing. Do not forget this. Bradbury's proofs will do. It
is getting very wintry, and I and the fires are set in — in
my little room. You talk of a grand Christening Batch
— but what is to be the name of " my eldest daughter.
Sir?" Tom exclaimed pathetically this morning, "I
wish I had none teeth ! " He is cutting some that plague
him ! He draws almost as much as I do, and very funny
things he makes. He picks up both Flemish and French.
We went to a French play the other night, and I was
much amused by an actor very much a la Power. It set
me theatrically agog again. Perhaps — who knows ? —
I may yet do an opera with Kooke ! In the meantime, I
shall some day send you the piece that was accepted by
Price, with a character for Liston, for you to offer to Yates.
Jane is going to write, so I make over to her the other
fiap. We were much rejoiced to hear good news of Mrs.
Dilke, as we had not had a word. Pray tell Dilke how
much better I have been, and take care of yourself, and
believe me, with Gk)d bless you all,
Yours very truly,
Thomas Hood.
What a capital fish a dory is ! We had one for din
ner t' other day. Good — hot or cold.
OsTBND, Dec. 17, 1838.
My deab Mbs. Dilke,
As I always came to your parties with a shocking bad
cold, I now write to you with one which I have had for
three days running. But it was to be expected, consid-
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808 HEMOBIALS OF THOMAS HOOD.
ering the time of the year and the climate, which is so
moist that it's drier when it rains than when it don't.
Then these Phlegmings (mind and always spell it as I
do) — these Phlegmings are so phlegmatic, if it 's a wet
night, your coachman won't fetch yon home, and if it 's a
cold one, your doctor won't come ; if he does, ten to one
you may forestal his prescription. If it 's a sotc, a carrot
poultice ; if an inward disorder, a carrot diet I only
wonder they don't bleed at the carotid artery ; and when
one's head is shaved, order a carroty wig. The only
reason I can find is that carrots grow here in fields-fulL
Well, my book is done, and I 'm not dead, though I 've
had a '^ warning." The book ran much longer than I
had contemplated, and I 've left out some good bits after
all, for fear of compromising Franck and my informants.
It has half as much writing again as the "^ Comic," and
I told Baily to consult Dilke about tHe price, as it has
five sheets more paper and print than the Annual.
We thought this week's "AthensBum" much duller
than the one before it ; it had n't such a fine hock fla-
vour. I read the review six times over, for the sake
of the extracts ; and then the extracts six times, for the
sake of the review. If that is n't fair play between author
and critic, I don't know what is. I have been prophesy-
ing what will be Dilke's next extracts. We go on as
usual at Ostend. Tell Dilke there are some other
" fi'iends " staying at Harrison's, a Captain B., alias K.,
and Sir W. J., said to be of large fortune. But what a
residence to choose !
I heard also of two young men obliged to fly from the
troubles at Hanover; but it turns out that they have
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MEMOBIALS OF THOlfAS HOOD. 309
robbed or swindled a Chatham Bank. So we don't
unprove. A Colonel B. has done W. out of 100/., and
an English lady, in passing through, did the banker here
out of 7SL Then an Englishman shot at his wife the
other daj with an air-gun ; and Mrs. F. will not set her
foot in our house again, because I gave her a lecture on
scandal-mongering ; and the doctor has done Captain F.
in the sale of some gin ; and die Captain talks of calling
out the doctor for speaking iU of his wife ; and the De
M.S are gone ; — a fig for Beid and Marshall, and their
revolving, hurricanes ! We Ostenders Hve in a perpetual
round of breezes.
I must now begin to nurse poor Jenny, who has had
no time to mend and cobble her own health for soldering
up mine. The children, thank Grod, are very well, and
very good, and " so clever I " The other day, Jane ad-
vised Fanny to talk to C (about her own age) to
subdue her temper. " Oh," said Fanny, " she is so giddy,
it would be like the Vicar of Wakefield preaching to the
prisoners ! ". Tom has taken to his book con amore, and
draws, and spells, and tries to write with all his heart,
soul, and strength. He has learned of his own accord
to make all the Roman capitals, and labels all his draw-
ings, and inscribes all his properties, TOM HOOD. He
is very funny in his designs. The other day, he drew
an old woman with a book : ^ That 's a witch, and the
book is a Life of the Devil ! '* Where this came from,
Heaven knows. But how it would have shocked Aunt
Betsy I The fact is, he pores and ponders over Retsch's
"Faust," and "Hamlet," and the like, as a child o'
larger growth. But he is as well and jolly and good
tempered as ever ; and as he is so inclined to be busy
oogle
810
MEMOBIALS OF THOUAS HOOD.
with hiB little head, we don't urge him, but let him take
his own course. So much for godma and godpa.
I cannot write more at present, as Mary is in the
room, and she is a great listener. God bless you all I
Yours ever truly,
Thomas Hood.
P. S. — I shall thank Dilke for the two vols, of the
** Athenaeum ** when I write to Atm, which will be after
the tail of my review. The discovery at Treves, &c., is
stale — I mean the window story — six years old at
least Puff of the EL of P. to guU John Bull of some
money.
P. P. S. — I forgot to mention that I had a little duel
of messages with my ^ scandal-mongering " acquaintance *
tiie other day. " Pray tell Mr. Hud," says she, " that I
have no doubt but his complaint is a scurrilous liver ! "
(schirrous). So I sent her my compliments, and begged
leave to say that was better than a ^ cantankerous giz-
zard 1'*
^^c^^'^
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